Burning Desire
by SunReyes
Summary: Martin & Samantha are assigned to work undercover on a case of disappearing children; JS Completed
1. Default Chapter

Title: Burning Desire  
  
Author: SunReyes sunreyes01@yahoo.com  
  
Category: J/S  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Summary: Martin & Samantha are assigned to work undercover on a case of disappearing children.  
  
Acknowledgements: I don't own the characters, the actors, or the network. No infringement is intended and no money is made. All comments and feedback are appreciated! Special shout out and thanks to the gang at Maple Street, you guys rock!  
  
****  
  
Jack stood among his colleagues, handing out the assignments one by one.  
  
"Vivian I want you and Danny to run background and information checks on what Martin and Samantha are going to send you. Also you're going to run with any leads" Jack glances over towards Martin and then towards me. "You two are going undercover as newlyweds. This community is known for having young families. Recently a series of child abductions and miscarriages has occurred."  
  
"How recent?" I question.  
  
"The disappearances go back over the course of a year. Our unit has been involved in trying to track down these children but with no success. Sam I want you to familiarize Martin with the inside outs of the case." Vivian, Danny, and Martin stand up, heading over to their office area to read the files. I sit staring at Jack, curious why I'm being paired with Martin, again.  
  
"You want me to pretend to be married to Martin?" My eyes glance into his, hoping he'll change his mind. Hoping he'll agree to be the other undercover agent.  
  
"That's the idea" he slides me the open folder and points at the highlighted material, "don't forget to read the fine print" he tells me with a well-satisfied grin. He stands up and heads over towards his office.  
  
I glance down at the description of my character, a young happily married woman, pregnant with her first child. "Jack!" I stand up briskly making my way towards his office. I stand before his desk, as he glances up from another file. "It's one thing that the job calls for me to go undercover and pretend for me to be married to Martin, but pregnant?" I eye him sternly, "I'm not wearing the bodysuit." I tell him. "I have no intention of."  
  
"Nobody's asking you to. You're supposed to be three months into the pregnancy. Early enough not to show, but late enough to announce it. Now if you don't mind" he eyes the door as I roll my eyes making my way towards an overly excited Martin Fitzgerald.  
  
I take a seat at my desk and Martin comes over to join me. I open the file, glancing down at the cases of children that have been taken.  
  
June 14, 2002 Katelyn Cutters, four-year-old disappeared while her father was at work and her mother was cooking dinner.  
  
August 6, 2002 Melinda Chronakis, miscarriage to an eight month fetus. Husband was at the store while the wife was resting. She awoke with bruises along her wrists, ankles, and abdomen.  
  
October 27, 2002 Cynthia Planate, four-year-old disappeared on her birthday, father went out to pick up cake, mother was setting up for the party.  
  
December 2, 2002 Stephanie Glangeski, miscarriage to a seven month fetus. Got into a fight with wife, husband was at the bar during time of actual miscarriage. Wife was found unconscious but alive.  
  
The list goes on, as I realize the kidnappings and miscarriages occur every other month in an order of every other one. In all instances, the wife is left alone with the child (or fetus) and the crime occurs. I also notice as the list continues onward, the ages of the children that disappear become younger and the miscarriages occur much earlier on.  
  
"Any questions?" I glance up at Martin after we finish reading through the file.  
  
"So according to this pattern, you're supposed to be pregnant and someone should technically try and cause you to miscarry the child?"  
  
"Sounds that way" I breathe out. "Come on lets go" I tell him, standing up and grabbing my jacket. I slip my arms inside and turn around to see Jack making his way on over.  
  
"You two need anything else before you move in? All your belonging should be there by now. Oh wait one more thing." Jack slips two gold bands from his pocket. "You're wedding rings" he tells us, handing us each one to slip onto our ring finger.  
  
My eyes widen in amusement as I put the ring on and it's a perfect fit. Too bad Jack's not wearing the other one.  
  
I follow Martin to his car, taking a seat in the passenger side and shutting my eyes. I'm disappointed that Jack's not the other agent I get to play 'house' with. At least then it'd be a fun workload.  
  
"Don't look so upset" Martin reads my expression, glancing towards me as we pull out of the parking garage. "You get to play unemployed for a week" he teases, "while I get to check in to the office to relay any and all information we find out."  
  
"Unemployed?" I look his way and roll my eyes, "If only" I muse with a laugh and glance down at the file in my hands. "Do we know of any pedophiles in the area?" I question aloud.  
  
"From what I read in the report there aren't any suspects. Whatever happened to all those missing children?" Martin questions.  
  
"No one knows. The community was willing to help us until we pointed the finger towards the husbands. Then they shut us out. Didn't stop the kidnapper though." I remind him.  
  
We pull into the community as I glance out the window, noticing the rows and streets filled with cookie cutters houses. "Did anyone ever think that maybe I'm not the only one pregnant?" I whisper out. "If they don't come after me, then we're stuck here another four months or so unless the case is dismissed."  
  
"Pretending to be pregnant" Martin emphasizes with a grin as he glances down at my abdomen. "I hope you know how to act."  
  
"I think I can handle it" I interrupt him as we pull into the driveway of our two-story single family home.  
  
Martin shuts off the car and pulls out the keys, unlocking the front door. I step inside, smelling the aroma of freshly painted walls and newly acquired carpeting.  
  
"Nice" I glance around, admiring the furniture and taking a tour of 'our' home. I make my way up the stairs meeting the master bedroom with a wide smile. I can't help but laugh at the silk sheets. I shut the door, turning towards the second bedroom and noticing a nursery already established. "Martin" I call out, looking over the banister and towards the only two bedrooms in the house.  
  
"Yes sweetheart" he chimes.  
  
I let out a soft laugh shaking my head not believing a word of what comes out of his mouth, "there's only one bed."  
  
"I can take the sofa if you're uncomfortable with." I hear dead silence and a thump against the wooden floor.  
  
"Martin?" I call out, slipping my hand over my gun and pulling it from my pocket as my adrenaline rushes through my body.  
  
TBC. 


	2. Chapter 2

"I can take the sofa if you're uncomfortable with." I hear dead silence and a thump against the wooden floor.  
  
"Martin?" I call out, slipping my hand over my gun and pulling it from my pocket as my adrenaline rushes through my body.  
  
**********  
  
I hurry down the stairs, noticing him on his back, lying along the floor. I bend down to check his breathing and pulse as I hear him groan in pain. "What happened?" I question.  
  
"My ankle" he whispers out in agony, as I move down his body, lifting the cuff of his pants leg. His ankle is bright red and swollen.  
  
"What did you do?" I question, noticing his ghostly pale face as I pull out my cell phone.  
  
"I don't know" he groans out in pain as his breathing becomes labored. I dial 911 and glance down at Martin's ankle, noticing a tiny puncture to his skin.  
  
"Are you allergic to bees?" I glance up to his eyes, as they become glassy and heavy.  
  
"No" he whispers out in a hoarse voice.  
  
"Well it's some sort of bite or sting. The ambulance will be here shortly" I tell him. I feel his hand latch on to mine as I smile softly trying to reassure him.  
  
"Call Jack" he whispers out as I hear the ambulance in the distance. After turning Martin over to the paramedics I dial Jack, hoping our cover hasn't been blown yet.  
  
"Jack" I breathe out, relieved he answered on the first ring.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"It's Martin. He's had some sort of allergic reaction to something. He's being taken by ambulance to the hospital."  
  
"I'm on my way" he answers, hanging up the phone. I let out a breath, grabbing the keys off the floor to do the same.  
  
I meet up with Jack at the hospital, relaying him the information I've been given thus far.  
  
"I've talked with Van Doren and we both decided it would be best if I moved in with you."  
  
"What?" My eyes widen in disbelief.  
  
"For the undercover operation" he reminds me. "Martin's in no shape for the task and."  
  
"What about Marie?" I question.  
  
"I'll call her tonight and let her know what's going on. This case is our first priority." Jack reminds me.  
  
"So the neighbors that saw the ambulance and the escapade" I breathe out, "they're going to be curious to the sudden change in my husbands appearance."  
  
"We'll play it off. Martin's your brother" he muses as I shrug and nod at the idea.  
  
"Sounds plausible."  
  
"Did you call his father and tell him what happened?"  
  
"No was I supposed to?" I question.  
  
"Might have been nice."  
  
"Martin will be up soon" I remind him, "if he wants us to call."  
  
Jack nods in agreement and I glance up, seeing Danny and Vivian joining us. "We heard the news" they glance towards me then towards Jack. "We'll stay here. Why don't you two get situated? If anything comes up we'll call you."  
  
"Thanks you two" I tell them. "Oh yeah" I slip Martin's keys from the house keys and hand them to Vivian, "would you give these to him. His car's on the second level, right by the door."  
  
"Sure" she smiles, waving goodbye as I walk with Jack to his car.  
  
I feel my stomach flutter at the thought of being married to Jack, even if it is only an undercover assignment.  
  
"Any thoughts on the case?" He questions.  
  
"Just that there's only one bed" I chime glancing over to see his reaction.  
  
"I think we can manage." He laughs softly. His hands turn the steering wheel as I watch his ring finger, noticing the matching band.  
  
"You switched rings already?" I question.  
  
"No they happen to be the same ones." He tells me, as we pull into the driveway of 'our' home.  
  
I step out from the car and pull out the house keys, unlocking the front door. I feel Jack's presence behind me and his hand against my back as we step through the doorway.  
  
"So this is our place?" He eyes the place and follows me inside for the grand tour.  
  
"It's nicer then I anticipated" I tell him. "Furniture's pretty nice too." I show him the downstairs and then we make our way upstairs to show off the nursery and then the master bedroom.  
  
He plops down on the king-sized mattress, his eyes shutting with a smile on his lips.  
  
"What are you thinking about?" I question, my body standing close to his. He tugs on my hands, pulling me against the mattress to join him.  
  
"You and me in bed together" he whispers out with a grin. I feel my heart flutter and then watch as he sits up. "Actually a neighborhood block party" he muses. "I'm thinking you could inform the neighborhood of the pregnancy, it might get the ball rolling."  
  
"A block party? Even if we got a hundred people here, there's more then that in the development. How do we know we're going to target our perp?"  
  
"Word gets around fast" he tells me. "Besides we'll put on a bit of a show."  
  
"We will?" I question with a smile lingering on my lips at the possibility of being in this man's arms.  
  
"We have to make it look convincing that I'm the father. Especially after Martin coming with you" he adds. My mind drifts to the possibilities of what the week could bring. 


	3. Chapter 3

"Word gets around fast" he tells me. "Besides we'll put on a bit of a show."  
  
"We will?" I question with a smile lingering on my lips at the possibility of being in this man's arms.  
  
"We have to make it look convincing that I'm the father. Especially after Martin coming with you" he adds. My mind drifts to the possibilities of what the week could bring.  
  
*******  
  
After passing out flyers for a Saturday get together, I stand in the kitchen, glancing down into the oven to see if the cake is ready yet.  
  
"I didn't realize you could cook" Jack slips his hands along my hips from behind, as I feel his body pressing into me.  
  
"Me either" I chuckle with a laugh, hearing the timer go off. He relaxes his grip and I open the oven, pulling out the sunken cake with a sigh.  
  
"We could always pick up something from the bakery?" Jack suggests.  
  
"Why don't you do that while I finish getting ready. I still need to shower before the cook out."  
  
Jack's eyes lighten up and I meet his own gaze back in amusement. "What you want to join me?" I tease with a wicked grin.  
  
"Do I want to or should I?" He answers back with a breath. "I'm going to pick up the cake. Is there anything else we need while I'm out?"  
  
"Check the fridge and see if we have enough hotdogs and hamburgers." I suggest. I head upstairs towards the bedroom, grabbing my clothes for a shower.  
  
"Sam" I slip my head out of the bedroom with raised eyes.  
  
"Yes, change your mind?" I answer back.  
  
"Be careful," he warns me.  
  
"Always" I answer with a nod, before slipping back into the bedroom for the bathroom. I hear the door shut and several minutes of silence. I smile at the fact I have this whole place to myself, how refreshing.  
  
I slip out of my clothes and head into the shower for a warm comforting break from reality. I hear the sound of a door whining. "Jack?" I call out, curious to see if he's back already. With no response, I lean my head back against the stream of warm water, washing away the dirt and turning off the shower. I hear the sound of floorboards creaking and I tie the towel snuggly around my body and unfasten my gun from my pants. "Jack?" I call out once again, curious since I didn't hear his reply earlier.  
  
I carefully slip out of the bathroom, feeling a chill in the air as goosebumps rise on my flesh. I take a steady breath, calming my racing heart as I scout the upstairs bedroom and make my way down the hall and downstairs. I hear another creak along the floorboards and visualize where the sound must be coming from; the kitchen. "Jack?" I call out again, this time louder and with urgency instilled in my voice. From behind I hear the front door swing open and I gasp out in shock. 


	4. Chapter 4

I carefully slip out of the bathroom, feeling a chill in the air as goosebumps rise on my flesh. I take a steady breath, calming my racing heart as I scout the upstairs bedroom and make my way down the hall and downstairs. I hear another creak along the floorboards and visualize where the sound must be coming from; the kitchen. "Jack?" I call out again, this time louder and with urgency instilled in my voice. From behind I hear the front door swing open and I gasp out in shock.  
  
********  
  
"You called?" His voice holds a hint of concern, as his eyes look into mine.  
  
"I heard something" I begin, "I thought it might be you." I lower my gun, feeling his gaze burning through my towel. "I'll go on up and get changed."  
  
"When you're done we need to talk about tonight."  
  
"Right" I whisper out, making my way upstairs to find something to slip on. I pull out a black shirt and a pair of jeans. I let the towel drop from my body as I glance into the mirror. I let out a sigh, wondering when things became complicated between Jack and myself.  
  
I make my way back downstairs, freshly dressed and ready to impress for the evening. I hear Jack talking to someone rather abruptly and I stand in the hallway, keeping out of sight. I realize he must be explaining to Marie why he won't be home. I bite down on my lip, hoping for his sake things won't turn worse.  
  
"YES" he practically shouts into the phone with a huff and hangs up.  
  
I step into the kitchen, catching Jack's steely gaze. A gust of wind is emitted from his lungs as he moves to sit at the kitchen table. He eyes the chair next to me and I take a seat watching him.  
  
"How are the kids?" I question.  
  
"Upset that I won't be home but they're behaving," he says with an amused grin.  
  
"And Marie?"  
  
He lets out a soft breath, a half laugh telling me all he needs to in words.  
  
"I can do this alone" I reassure him. "If you need to."  
  
"This case is our first priority" he reminds me. "They know they come first in my life, but my job isn't exactly ideal." I feel my stomach knot at the admittance of his family coming first, even before me. I knew that was the case. That's why he went home after the Barry Mashburn incident and why we ended the affair completely. I just never thought he'd say the words to me. Maybe to Vivian but least of all to me.  
  
Jack's gaze catches mine as I stare outside the window. "Sam?"  
  
"Oh sorry" I answer, "just thinking."  
  
"About the case?" He assumes, "I've been thinking about it too. After looking over our original plan, I'm not too keen on leaving you alone as the bait."  
  
"What do you suggest?"  
  
"We could have Danny or Vivian here to back you up if something goes wrong. Or else we could do a switch. Whoever it is would see me leave, and if we had you disguised as me."  
  
"Then you'd be left alone." I remind him. "I don't like that idea any better. Besides why can't I be the bait?"  
  
"It's setting us up for failure." Jack points out.  
  
"Not if you don't really leave, or if you're still in contact." I suggest. "You always have your cell phone on, if something should happen I'll call you."  
  
"It's too risky" he takes my hands in his, showing me how deeply concerned he is with the matter.  
  
"Jack." My voice pleads with him. "Why is it a problem now and it wasn't when Martin was here?"  
  
"I didn't think it over enough. I would have come to the same conclusion."  
  
"We'll figure things out tonight when we get done with the party." I tell him. "What do we have, an hour?" I question glancing towards the clock.  
  
"A little over an hour, yeah." He stands up, and heads on over towards the sofa, relaxing into the cushions.  
  
"I'll work on setting things up then."  
  
"Sam" I turn around to see him motioning for me to come over, "we have time before we need to work on things. Besides its better to be well rested and on your toes for tonight."  
  
"Alright" I take a seat beside him on the sofa, letting out a soft breath.  
  
"This doesn't make you feel weird, does it?" Jack turns towards me, waiting for a response.  
  
"No, it was more disturbing when Martin and I were supposed to be married and he was overly joyful about the assignment."  
  
Jack's lips curve upward in a smile, "I bet. Listen I'm sorry about that. I'd love to say it was unintentional but."  
  
"You didn't?" My eyes open wide in astonishment.  
  
"Come on, we both know it was the closest Martin would ever get to you."  
  
"You don't think I'd sleep with him?" I question in amusement.  
  
"No, you'd rather have him chasing after you. Besides you like being in control."  
  
I let out a soft laugh and shake my head, "you think you know me so well."  
  
"I do" he answers smugly.  
  
"You think so?"  
  
"That's what I'm saying." His smile warms my heart as I shift against the sofa. Lying down and propping my legs on Jack's waist comfortably. My head leans on the arm of the couch as my eyes stare into Jack's.  
  
"Alright then, tell me something about my self that I've never told you."  
  
He's quiet for a moment contemplating what to say. "You grew up with parents that didn't always support every decision that you made. You're still angry with your father for leaving but you call your mother every Sunday morning to say hi, you never say much more then that to her though."  
  
"How did you."  
  
"The things that scare you the most are being out of control and losing the people you care about. You keep a journal of all the things you love on your computer, and no I've never read it." Jack points out. "You've also never been in love."  
  
"Not true!" Jack smiles in response and I feel his hand softly rubbing the soles of my feet. "I told you that before the affair." I remind him.  
  
"So you did" he muses. His fingers move up my ankle, rubbing softly against my bare skin. "I think you said something along the lines of how you've never felt loved and don't plan on falling in love any time soon." The pads of his fingers continue caressing my skin as I let out a soft puff of air.  
  
"Jack" I whisper out in a haze, feeling arousal set in from his simple touch. I feel my eyes growing heavy and my body warm and tingly.  
  
"Is it still true?" His hand moves up my leg, over my thigh as he leans above my frame, his lips incredibly close to mine.  
  
"What still true?" I whisper out, slipping my eyes shut as I feel his fingers moving higher towards my burning source of arousal.  
  
"That you've never felt loved?" His breath teases my ear as he whispers the words to me.  
  
"Is this love?" I question as my eyes filled with want meet his. He presses a soft kiss to my cheek and moves off the sofa.  
  
"I think we're set for tonight" he tells me, running a hand through his hair. I take in a few heavy breaths of air, trying to quell my burning desire for this man. "I'm not too concerned about pulling it off." He heads into the kitchen and I slowly sit up, startled by the sudden revelation. Was he completely teasing me to see if we could handle tonight, or was there more? I could have sworn I saw desire behind his gaze. 


	5. Chapter 5

"I think we're set for tonight" he tells me, running a hand through his hair. I take in a few heavy breaths of air, trying to quell my burning desire for this man. "I'm not too concerned about pulling it off." He heads into the kitchen and I slowly sit up, startled by the sudden revelation. Was he completely teasing me to see if we could handle tonight, or was there more? I could have sworn I saw desire behind his gaze.  
  
************  
  
"Ready for a night of fun?" I chime, following him outside with food and drinks.  
  
I set everything along the table, feeling warm hands creep around my waist from behind. I lean back into Jack's embrace, letting out a soft breath. I feel Jack's lips at my ear and his warm breath sending a tingling sensation through my skin. "Don't forget we've got to play the pregnancy up" he reminds me, ever so quietly.  
  
"I know" I turn around in his embrace, feeling his hands at my waist as I slide my arms around his neck. "They're watching" I remind him with a grin, moving my face closer to his, allowing our lips to brush against one another's as we intensify the kiss.  
  
"Sam" he whispers out, his voice a hoarse tone as he unlocks his arms but keeps one hand around my waist as he walks with me over to meet some of our neighbors.  
  
"Hi, I'm Jack, this is my wife Samantha Pristine" he introduces us.  
  
"Nice to meet you. I'm Jane. My husbands on his way over now" she tells us, motioning towards her home three doors down. "And this is our daughter Lauren" she tells us. I glance down at the little one, clinging to her leg and lifting her arms to be held. Jane lifts the dark-haired beauty, holding her in an embrace.  
  
"Hi Lauren" Jack smiles towards her and she hides her face in her mother's chest.  
  
"How old is she?" I question, feeling Jack's hand on my lower back rubbing soft circles.  
  
"She'll be two this fall." Jane replies softly. "You two have any children?"  
  
"One that's on the way" I answer, running my hand softly over my stomach, motioning the universal gesture.  
  
"How far along are you? You can barely tell."  
  
Jack presses a kiss to my ear, "I'll be back" he whispers, slipping from my embrace as I watch him meet a few other couples.  
  
"Twelve weeks" I answer, "we were hardly expecting it, but it was a pleasant surprise."  
  
"How long have the two of you been married?" Jane presses.  
  
"Six months, but we knew each other long before we got married."  
  
"That's nice" she smiles politely. I walk around outside, mingling and meeting all the neighbors that have arrived. I glance around, looking for Jack and see him talking amongst the guys, with a beer in hand. I laugh softly, wondering if this is what married life is supposed to be like.  
  
I step on over towards Jack, slipping my arms around him from the side for a hug. "Hey sweetie" he envelopes me in return, giving me a soft inviting kiss before holding me close against him.  
  
"You've all met Samantha?" He introduces me again to the guys.  
  
"Yes I have. Can I steal him away for a minute?" I question with a friendly smile, tugging on his hand as I walk with him over towards the grill. "Ready to start on dinner?" I question.  
  
"Yeah I'll heat some stuff up shortly. Have you met anyone that would fit the profile?" He leans his body close into mine, as his hand slips behind my neck, teasing my hair.  
  
"Not yet" I tell him. I let out a soft breath, feeling relaxed in his arms. "I did meet a few expectant mothers though. Could pose a problem" I remind him.  
  
"We'll have to keep an eye on them. In the meantime" my eyes light up with a soft grin, "we could give the neighborhood something to talk about" I suggest, pulling him tight against my body.  
  
"As much as I would like that, we are hosting the party" Jack reminds me, pressing a soft kiss to my lips.  
  
"You better make it up to me" I warn him, loud enough for anyone within close proximity to hear.  
  
He presses one more soft kiss to my lips before breaking away and heading back on over towards the guys. I can only imagine what they're talking about.  
  
As the night progresses on and dinner is finished, Jack helps with cleaning up the lawn and putting everything away. There are still a few neighbors gathering their belongings, so we can't discuss anything we might have overheard as of yet.  
  
We wave our good-byes and Jack follows me inside, closing the door and the blinds behind us. I head into the kitchen, placing the dirty dishes in the sink and moving towards the sofa to sit down.  
  
"I think we should reevaluate our plan." Jack tells me, taking a seat beside me. I close my eyes, exhaustion setting in. With his body beside mine, I lean into his shoulder, resting my head comfortably. A quiet yawn escapes my lips and I feel Jack's fingers teasing my face. My eyes open glancing up towards him. "You ready for bed?"  
  
"I'm beat" I answer with another yawn.  
  
"Come on" he tells me, helping me stand up and following me up the stairs towards the bedroom.  
  
I make my way towards the dresser, pulling out a tanktop and pair of sweatshorts that I brought with me, because I assumed I'd be sleeping near Martin.  
  
"Cute" Jack muses, eyeing the clothes in my hands.  
  
"Thanks" I respond with a grin, pulling my shirt over my head.  
  
"I'll be in the bathroom" Jack tells me, grabbing a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. I've already managed to remove my shirt as Jack walks off and quietly shuts the bathroom door. Once I'm changed, I take a seat on the bed, waiting for Jack to reemerge.  
  
"Hey there sexy" I chime as he makes his way towards the bed.  
  
"Switch sides" he tells me, pointing towards the bed.  
  
"What?" I eye him curiously.  
  
"Just don't ask" he shakes his head and I scoot onto the other side of the bed eyeing him intently. I lie back watching him slip under the covers. "I thought you were tired."  
  
"I woke up" I point out, "beds do that to me."  
  
"I remember" he laughs softly, lying back against the pillows. "You know we can't," he turns on his side to face me.  
  
"Says who?" I tease back, rolling onto my side, our body's warmth radiating against one another.  
  
"Samantha. You know I'm trying to work things out." He doesn't want to say *her* name, not right now. His eyes match mine as I feel his breath beside me.  
  
"We're married and we don't get to have sex?" I quip, "what a waste." I tease. He's quiet, not knowing what to say and I roll onto my stomach, reaching for the light switch to darken the room. "Goodnight," I whisper out, shutting my eyes with a tired sigh.  
  
"Sam," I hear his thoughts racing a mile-a-minute, from his tone alone.  
  
"I didn't mean anything by it" I tell him, "get some sleep. We have a full day tomorrow."  
  
I shut my eyes, hoping to sleep through the night. 


	6. Chapter 6

"We're married and we don't get to have sex?" I quip, "what a waste." I tease. He's quiet, not knowing what to say and I roll onto my stomach, reaching for the light switch to darken the room. "Goodnight," I whisper out, shutting my eyes with a tired sigh.  
  
"Sam," I hear his thoughts racing a mile-a-minute, from his tone alone.  
  
"I didn't mean anything by it" I tell him, "get some sleep. We have a full day tomorrow."  
  
I shut my eyes, hoping to sleep through the night.  
  
**********  
  
As early morning breaks, I hear the vibrating of a cell phone and roll around glancing on the night table to see if it's mine. "Jack" I whisper out, seeing his phone jolting and buzzing loudly.  
  
"Huh?" His eyes take in the bright morning light and he squints and reaches out for the phone. "Hello" he breathes out in a deep husky voice. "Yeah I told you I wasn't going to be home." He pauses but I can hear Marie's voice on the other end of the phone. She's loud and objective to his assignment. I slip out of bed, not feeling right listening in to his call and make my way towards the nursery.  
  
I take a seat in the rocking chair, grabbing the quilt and tossing it over my body to keep warm. I close my eyes, wondering what my life would be like if I was married to Jack.  
  
"Sam" I hear his voice and open my eyes, startled to see him in the doorway.  
  
"Yeah?" I question. I stop rocking and watch him intently. "Marie?" I question with certainty that it's her.  
  
He nods yes with a sigh. "I need to go and explain things to her today. Besides I have to grab some clothes for this assignment. I didn't have much packed in my trunk" he reminds me.  
  
Jack eyes me once over, "I thought you didn't want kids."  
  
"I don't" I whisper out.  
  
"Then what are you doing hanging around in the nursery?"  
  
"I don't know" I breathe out in a soft hush.  
  
"You going to be ok while I'm gone? I can call Vivian or Danny to keep you company."  
  
"I'm fine." I tell him. "You know what though, could you drop me off at the hospital? I wanted to stop in and check on Martin."  
  
"Do you two have something going on?" Jack teases and I roll my eyes with a smile.  
  
"You wish." I answer with a laugh.  
  
I stand up, heading into the bedroom to grab some clothes and then head downstairs for breakfast while I wait for Jack to finish up in the shower.  
  
I make my way into Martin's hospital room seeing him looking better already. "Hey Samantha" his smile widens when he sees me enter and what I've brought. "Are you trying to tell me something?" He teases as he glances at the bouquet of Lily's I brought.  
  
"They're exactly what you like" I point out, eyeing the flowers he brought me after I was hospitalized from a gunshot wound.  
  
"I didn't know they were popular funeral flowers at the time though."  
  
"Would that have changed your mind?" I point out. He shrugs in response, as I place the bouquet on the side. "When are you released?"  
  
"A few hours. They're waiting for the final results on the tests. I seem to be doing better though, and my ankle isn't as swollen."  
  
"That's a relief. Do they know what caused it?"  
  
"Two things actually. A food allergy and a wasp sting."  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"I'm sorry I couldn't play husband" he tells me sincerely. "I heard Jack took over the role. How's he doing, treating you right?"  
  
"Yeah" I nod with a smile. "He went home to Marie this morning, otherwise he'd be here to see how you're doing." I tell Martin. "I should let you get your rest. Call me when you're doing better, ok?" He nods and his eyes grow heavy. I lean down, pressing a soft kiss to the top of his head, "take it easy" I remind him, before slipping out of the room.  
  
I make my way down the hall, glancing around to see a familiar face. "Jane?" My eyes meet hers.  
  
"Hey Samantha."  
  
"What are you doing here?" I question.  
  
"Lauren was running a fever" she tells me, showing me the flushed faced little tyke. The little one lays her head on her mom's shoulder and closes her eyes. "Hopefully the medicine will help. I should be on my way home, or else Aaron will worry."  
  
"Jack dropped me off on his way into work, do you mind if I catch a ride with you?"  
  
"Oh not a problem" she tells me with a smile. We head towards the parking garage and she unlocks the van. I offer to buckle Lauren in her carseat while Jane starts the car and turns on the air conditioning. "So who were you visiting?"  
  
"My brother" I explain, "I'm not sure if you saw yesterday, the ambulance that came to the house. He had an allergic reaction." I let out a sigh.  
  
"Is he doing better?"  
  
"Yeah, seems they're taking real good care of him."  
  
We pull out of the hospital parking lot and down the road. "I still can't believe you're pregnant" Jane muses eyeing me. "You don't have an ounce of fat on you."  
  
"I will" I tell her with a laugh.  
  
"Well if you need anything at all, I'm more than here for you. I know when Lauren was born I was so panicky over the ordeal. It's scary but it's worth it."  
  
"Thanks" I tell her with a smile. She pulls into the driveway and I unbuckle my seatbelt. "Thanks again for the ride Jane."  
  
"Not a problem. There's one more thing."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I haven't told Aaron yet, but I think I might be pregnant again" she tells me with a soft smile.  
  
"Congratulations" I tell her, leaning in and giving her a hug.  
  
"It's not for sure yet, but I picked up a pregnancy test earlier in the week. I'm hoping Lauren will have a little brother" she answers rubbing her hand against her abdomen.  
  
"Let me know the results" I tell her, waving good-bye as I step inside the house.  
  
I head into the kitchen, loading the dishwasher and turning on some music. I grab my cell phone, intent on ringing Jack but not wanting to interrupt his conversation with Marie. I stand there, contemplating what to do when the phone vibrates in my hand.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Sam it's me" Jack's voice rings through.  
  
"Hey I'm back at the house" I tell him.  
  
"I was on my way to the hospital. Alright I'm going to stop in at the office and see what Vivian and Danny have for us. Be careful." He warns me.  
  
"No sweat" I remind him. "Do you know what time you'll be home? I'll fix dinner if you'll be on time."  
  
"An hour, two at most." Jack answers. "I'm having them look into the leads on the other pregnant woman and their husbands."  
  
"I was thinking about that Jack."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"What if the husbands are guilty, then they won't be coming after me" I point out.  
  
"The pattern doesn't fit." He states with a sigh. "Any other theories."  
  
"They're drugged?"  
  
"Who the woman or their husbands?"  
  
"Could be either. I thought the tox-screen for the wives were all negative though." I head on over towards the counter, flipping through the casefile. "Yeah, the husbands weren't screened though. It wasn't procedure since every time they had an alibi."  
  
"Are the alibi's connected somehow?"  
  
I glance through the list of names. "I don't see anything" I tell him. "How'd things with Marie go?" I question.  
  
"She's not happy out this assignment." He lets out a deep-frustrated sigh.  
  
"She wants you home?" I wonder aloud.  
  
"She thinks I'm having an affair again."  
  
"You're not" I answer.  
  
"Yes you and I both know that, but she doesn't believe it." He lets out another deep breath and quickly adds, "I'll talk to you later ok?"  
  
"Sure. Bye" I hang up the phone and finish the dishes. Once they're handled I head towards the sofa, going through the file, trying to find any sort of connection that's been overlooked.  
  
I hear a soft rapping against the window and glance in the direction it's coming from. The wind is hardly blowing and it doesn't appear anyone is outside. I stand up, making my way towards the window, to see what is going on. 


	7. Chapter 7

I hear a soft rapping against the window and glance in the direction it's coming from. The wind is hardly blowing and it doesn't appear anyone is outside. I stand up, making my way towards the window, to see what is going on.  
  
**********  
  
"Danny?" My eyes widen in disbelief. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"I thought I'd stop by. Did I scare you?" His smile is friendly and genuine.  
  
"Come on in" I offer, opening the doorway to him. He steps inside glancing around at the place.  
  
"Nice" he muses and turns around to face me. "So I went in to see Martin today."  
  
"Yeah? So did I."  
  
"I know" he chuckles softly. "I gave Martin a ride home then thought I'd pay you a visit."  
  
"What's this about?" I question.  
  
Danny follows me inside the house, heading towards the couch to take a seat, making himself at home. I sit down on the recliner opposite of him.  
  
"You didn't help his crush."  
  
"What? Who? Jack?" I shake my head with a laugh.  
  
"No Martin. You can't tell me you're blind to it."  
  
"Oh" I nod my head in understanding. "Is he still upset that he didn't get to play my husband?"  
  
"I think it's more then that." Danny surmises.  
  
"How so?" My eyes glint with curiosity. What's he getting at?  
  
"Let's just say Martin can't keep a certain secret to himself."  
  
"What secret? Danny?" My voice grows louder, insistent on him giving me the answer. Danny's smile speaks volumes and he glances out the window with an amused grin plastered to his face.  
  
"I'm not sure I should tell you."  
  
"If he's saying something about me, I have a right to know." I boldly point out.  
  
"It's not that big of a deal" he laughs lightly, "I went into the hospital to pick him up and saw how happy he was after everything that's happened. Guys don't talk" he reminds me.  
  
"So what do you think happened?"  
  
"Well I know for starters that you kissed him."  
  
"I what?" My eyes widen in disbelief. "Did he tell you that? Or did you come up with that of your own free will?"  
  
"It was in his eyes" Danny states with a chuckle. "Just don't toy with him too much. As much as I would like to see it, I'd hate for him to call daddy dearest."  
  
"Nothing happened" I point out. "Besides even if it did, it's none of your business."  
  
"Oh" Danny's smile widens as he leans back comfortably into the sofa cushions. "Not my business? Same not my business as your affair with Jack? I kept that quiet Samantha, but everyone in the office knew. You can't expect Jack not to find out if you go run off with Martin."  
  
"I'm not interested in Martin" I remind him. "You're taking things completely out of context."  
  
"I am?" His cocky expression only makes me want to toy with him too. I hold back though, if only for the fact that Jack will be home soon.  
  
"Yes I kissed Martin" Danny's eyes widen and his grin broadens. "It was completely platonic though. Top of the head kiss. However he might have interrupted that, I can't say."  
  
"Sure" he's grinning like a Cheshire cat, amused at the situation. "Blame Martin, after all he was probably still on medication" he chimes.  
  
"Is that why you really came over? To harass me about Martin?"  
  
"Well that and this" he tells me, pulling out a slip of paper from his coat pocket. "Jack called me with a few names this morning on his way home. I ran everything imaginable."  
  
"And?"  
  
"Nothing pertinent to the woman, however the men are another case. Jack mentioned he'd bring the folder but it seems there are two or three husbands that have been arrested for assault."  
  
"The same husbands that lost their children?"  
  
"No."  
  
I let out a sigh, puzzled at the connection, if there even is one. "Anything else?"  
  
"Nothing I found. Vivian and Jack were supposed to be meeting."  
  
"How'd you get out of it?"  
  
"I have my ways" he chuckles.  
  
"Jack sent you, didn't he?" Danny nods in response, "you didn't have to come."  
  
"It's my job on the line here."  
  
"And it's my reputation" I remind him.  
  
"Samantha he's still worried about you."  
  
"No that's not it." I shake my head. "He doesn't think I'm capable of handling my own."  
  
"You know that's not the case. He wouldn't have assigned you undercover if it were."  
  
I nod in agreement to that fact, and that Jack did tell me he had faith in me. "You can head home" I tell him. "No one's tried breaking in, and besides I have my gun. I'm not the least bit concerned."  
  
"You know Jack would kill me if I did that."  
  
"It's him or me" I grin widely. "Take your pick."  
  
"I get the hint. Can I wait outside? At least then Jack knows I was here."  
  
"Danny." My voice warns him and he stands up with a resigned sigh.  
  
"Just don't let him give me shit about not showing up. I was here."  
  
"Oh believe me, I'll let him know." I escort Danny to the door and see Jack pulling into the driveway. "Now you've got no concerns."  
  
"Thanks" he breathes out in a tone dripping with sarcasm. "Be careful," he warns me seriously before exiting out the front door and heading over towards Jack. Both men exchange a few words before Danny slips into his car and Jack pulls a duffel bag out of his car and makes his way towards me.  
  
"You" Jack shakes his head, lets out a breath and steps through the door. The words are on his tongue but haven't left his mouth. As soon as the door shuts behind him, he continues on with what he wanted to say. "You shouldn't have sent Danny home before I got back Sam."  
  
"I can take care of myself Jack. I'm a trained FBI Agent, or have you forgotten that?"  
  
"I haven't forgotten it" he breathes out. "I don't appreciate you undermining my decisions."  
  
"Jack you can't expect me to have constant supervision on this case. The whole purpose of the assignment was to let me be the bait. If you can't handle that, then I suggest you bail out now before it's too late."  
  
He let's out a breath, shaking his head and moving towards the living room. He dumps his bag on the floor beside the sofa, and takes a seat with a resigned sigh.  
  
"You're right" he tells me with a nod. "I need to focus and put any other feelings aside." I feel my stomach knot and my heart flutter at his honesty and choice of words.  
  
"Did you find out anything useful from Vivian?"  
  
"There's no substantial leads at the moment. A few loose ends and questions, but seeing as how we can't actually interrogate these people."  
  
"Going undercover was never your strong suit" I answer.  
  
"I don't think I did so bad last night."  
  
"Could you have pulled it off with a different agent?" I eye him seriously. He shrugs in response and leans back into the cushions of the couch, his head resting on the soft material. "Long day?"  
  
"You could say that."  
  
I take a seat beside him, our bodies in close proximity. "You want to talk about it?"  
  
"It's not exactly work related."  
  
"Oh." I answer not sure how to comment without poking or prodding too much into his family life. I know he's been trying to work things out with Marie, I just hope this doesn't hurt things worse for him. I care deeply for him, but I also want him to be happy. It's been a while since I've seen him that way.  
  
"Yeah you really don't want to hear about it" he sighs out between closed eyes. I watch his body, relaxed against the couch, quietly tempting.  
  
"I can take your mind off of it" I whisper out in a husky tone filled with the promise of temptation. I lean close to him, blowing a cool stream of air against his neck. I see his pulse throbbing against his reddening skin. He rolls his head towards me, opening his eyes to meet my own.  
  
"Samantha" he cuts me off, the name he calls me when he wants to keep things professional. I stand up, knowing rejection when I've seen it, and head into the kitchen to prepare dinner. 


	8. Chapter 8

"I can take your mind off of it" I whisper out in a husky tone filled with the promise of temptation. I lean close to him, blowing a cool stream of air against his neck. I see his pulse throbbing against his reddening skin. He rolls his head towards me, opening his eyes to meet my own.  
  
"Samantha" he cuts me off, the name he calls me when he wants to keep things professional. I stand up, knowing rejection when I've seen it, and head into the kitchen to prepare dinner.  
  
************  
  
After we finish eating, Jack offers to clear the plates and I head into the living room to flip on the television. After skimming through the channels twice, I let out a resigned sigh and stand up.  
  
I grab my cell phone and gun from the counter.  
  
"Where are you going?" Jack questions.  
  
"To call my boyfriend" I tease.  
  
"Who's the lucky guy this time?"  
  
"I'm actually thinking of going to take a walk. Figured I'd make you happy and take my weapon and phone."  
  
"Mind if I come with you?"  
  
"Alright" I answer. "As long as you want to go, and it's not because you're trying to be protective of me."  
  
He lets out a soft laugh and a smirk. "Come on lets get our shoes on."  
  
I open the front door, stepping outside and feeling Jack's arm slip behind my back. I lean into his body, feeling my heart beat like it has once before.  
  
"Jack" I whisper out, wanting to tell him so many things but not knowing where to begin. His hand slips down from my back, and latches onto my own, linking us together. "How are Hannah and Kate?" I whisper out.  
  
"Upset I'm not there."  
  
"I'm sorry" I answer automatically.  
  
"Why?" He questions, "it's not your fault."  
  
"I know. I still feel bad though."  
  
"Don't" he answers, squeezing my hand affectionately.  
  
His cell phone interrupts our quiet walk, and he slips it from his pocket, glancing down at the caller id display. He turns it off, eyeing me with a sigh, "Marie."  
  
"Oh" I answer, glancing towards him.  
  
"I should head back and call her from the house."  
  
"I'll come with you" I tell him, hearing him let out a soft sigh. "Unless you'd rather be alone?"  
  
"Come on" he tells me, turning around as we head back.  
  
Once we make our way inside, I slip off my shoes and make my way upstairs, giving Jack his privacy on the phone. I open the drawers, pulling out a pair of pajamas to get changed into. I toss my dirty clothes into the corner of the room and take a seat on the bed, not exactly in the mood to watch tv.  
  
I hear Jack's footsteps making their way up the stairs and I relax against the pillows, waiting for him to come in.  
  
"I'm tempted to say to hell with my marriage" his voice is thick with anger as he plops down onto the bed.  
  
"You know that's not what you want" I answer softly.  
  
"I don't know what I want anymore." His face is red, his breathing loud and exhaustive as he rolls to face me. "She knows about us" he tells me and then glances into my eyes for a reaction.  
  
"You told her?" I question.  
  
"She suspected as much. She thinks it's about sex and me not getting any."  
  
"And?" I question, wanting to hear the real reason from his lips.  
  
"That's not the case." He shrugs with a sigh, shutting his eyes momentarily. "She doesn't get that I might actually have feelings for you."  
  
"Maybe she doesn't want to realize that" I whisper out.  
  
"Sometimes I wonder if I'd be happier divorced but then" he rolls onto his back letting out a breath along with his thoughts, "I don't want to be seen as one of those guys who is divorced."  
  
"I've been divorced" I eye him sternly.  
  
"You were 18" he eyes me and then the ceiling. "Sometimes I think if I could just go back and know when the marriage started to fail, if I could have done something."  
  
"You tried" I remind him, "and you're still trying. If she's not willing to be a part of the relationship then it's not your fault."  
  
"I know" he whispers out in a hush. His face turns towards me, "I love my girls" he whispers out, "I just hope I'm doing the right thing for them."  
  
"Are you happy?" I question.  
  
"What does it matter?"  
  
"They'll know if you're not happy" I remind him. "Is that how you want your girls to see their father?"  
  
"Sam please don't do this."  
  
I move my hand to his shoulder, gently running my finger along his neck and his bare skin, calming his thoughts. "I'm not suggesting you get divorced" I tell him, "I'm just telling you to think about what's best for your girls. If you two are fighting, they're going to live in a house where they think that's normal."  
  
"I know" he sighs out, shutting his eyes in agony. I run my fingers through his hair, trying to calm and soothe him. "I've already thought about that. We try to keep it behind closed doors, but Hannah knows what's going on, and Kate will soon enough."  
  
"Jack" I whisper out, scooting to lie closer to his body, basking in the warmth shared between us. I run one hand through his hair, trying to gently soothe him while my other hand snakes around to his back, bringing him closer towards me.  
  
My fingers move down his lower back, teasing at the waistband of his pants when he lets out a soft puff of air and his head falls against the pillow. "Sam" he breathes out, a silent permission granted as my lips move to his ear. His breathing grows louder as his hands pull me closer against him, wanting to feel my skin on his.  
  
His lips meet mine, urgent with want and need as his fingers pull at my top, tossing it to the floor. "Jack" my eyes meet his, making sure he wants this as badly as I do. He answers with another forceful kiss, pushing me onto my back as he moves to straddle my frame. His lips move down over my chest, kissing and sucking his way down my body.  
  
We slip between the covers, intent on a night of full-fledged passion, forgetting our aches and pains till morning. 


	9. Chapter 9

We slip between the covers, intent on a night of full-fledged passion, forgetting our aches and pains till morning.  
  
********  
  
As morning breaks, I feel Jack's arms envelope my naked frame. His legs slip between mine, keeping our bodies together for comfort. He presses a soft kiss to my cheek, and his finger runs a strand of hair away from my face.  
  
My eyes flutter open, smiling at the sight of a naked Jack lying beside me. My hand moves towards his chest as a small smile tugs at the corners of his lips. "Morning" he greets me, pressing a soft kiss to my forehead.  
  
"Mmm yes it is" I answer, rolling onto my back. He scoots towards me, moving his hand along my bare thigh, tracing circles over my skin. "Jack" I whisper out, shutting my eyes and reveling in the warm feeling he gives me. He moves his lips to my neck, sucking on the sensitive flesh as a soft moan escapes my lips. "You have work" I remind him, not wanting him to go any further and stop.  
  
"What's the point of going in?" My eyes meet his, "you're what I look forward to seeing" he whispers out.  
  
"Just for a little while" I remind him. "When you get home I'll make it up to you" I whisper out.  
  
His lips brush against mine, as my hand feels over his naked torso. "Stay out of trouble" he tells me, pressing one final kiss to my lips before grabbing clothes and taking a quick shower before leaving.  
  
I slide deeper between the covers, shutting my eyes, waiting for Jack to come back home.  
  
I feel a hand in my hair, brushing a soft strand away and I roll into his touch, wanting more. "Jack?" I whisper out, with shut eyes and a smile. I feel coarse rough hands slide down my neck and my stomach tenses. Something feels off. My eyes flash open, seeing an unfamiliar male figure looming over me.  
  
His hands forcefully pin mine behind my head, giving me no time to try and retrieve my gun. My eyes widen as my adrenaline kicks in. "JACK!" I call out, hoping he's downstairs and hasn't left yet. I hear no response and sweep my legs against the perpetrators stomach, knocking him back.  
  
His grip isn't any less forceful, as he pulls a knife from his pocket, as my eyes widen in fear. "I'm an FBI Agent" I warn him, "plan on spending the rest of your life behind bars you bastard!" I lean towards the male body, kicking him once in the crotch, then his stomach as he loses his grip against me.  
  
I reach for my gun, not finding it on the table beside the bed and dig my hand under the mattress, finding a spare weapon. "Put your hands on your head" I warn him, cocking the safety off the gun, and grabbing the sheet to wrap around my naked body.  
  
"Shit" the male voice breathes out, his eyes darting towards the door.  
  
I hold the gun on him, as I use one hand to open the drawer, pulling out a pair of handcuffs. I clasp him to the wooden-slotted bed, giving him no option for freedom as I lift the telephone from its cradle. I dial Jack's cell phone number waiting for a response.  
  
"It's Sam" I tell him with as steady a voice I can muster.  
  
"What happened?" He knows already that something's wrong.  
  
"I've got our guy" I answer. I hang up and grab an outfit from the dresser to slip into. I glance back towards the bed, knowing he isn't going anywhere and quickly head into the bathroom to get changed. In the distance I hear police cars and moments later see Jack making his way into the bedroom.  
  
"You're ok" he breathes a sigh of relief and hulls our guy out to the car. "Where are you going?" Jack questions eyeing me intently.  
  
"With you to question him."  
  
"I don't think that's such a great idea. Go home, Samantha."  
  
"Jack" my voice pleads with him, "there's nothing for me to go home to."  
  
"You've been through a lot today" his eyes meet mine. "If I don't send you home, Van Doren will" he reminds me.  
  
"Will you stop by later?" I question a tinge of hope hanging in my voice.  
  
"Of course" he answers, "I'll drop by later with your things. Why don't I drive you home?" I let out a soft sigh, glad he didn't assign another agent to take me back.  
  
The drive back to my home is silent, as I keep seeing the events unfold in my mind. What if I wouldn't have been able to fight him away? Would I have been his next victim?  
  
"Sam" we pull in front of my building and Jack turns off the engine. He turns towards me, sensing how alone I truly feel. "I'll stop by with lunch. Take it easy for now, ok?"  
  
I nod in agreement and open the car door, stepping one foot in front of the other. I feel as though time has slowed down and I'm living in some strange dream. A world which is not my own. How did I find myself here, I may never know.  
  
I slip inside my place, shutting the door behind me. I flip on the light, glancing around feeling incredibly alone. I move to the sofa, taking a seat and wrapping myself in a blanket for comfort. I close my eyes, curling myself up into a ball, and hope the demons stay away. 


	10. Chapter 10

I slip inside my place, shutting the door behind me. I flip on the light, glancing around feeling incredibly alone. I move to the sofa, taking a seat and wrapping myself in a blanket for comfort. I close my eyes, curling myself up into a ball, and hope the demons stay away.  
  
************  
  
I feel myself startled awake as I realize my phone is ringing.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hey Samantha guess who" I hear Danny's voice on the other end and feel my lips forming in a smile.  
  
"Danny" I laugh softly, "what's going on?"  
  
"Jack and Vivian are interrogating our prime suspect. I wanted to call and see how you were doing."  
  
"I'm fine" I answer.  
  
"He didn't do anything to you, did he?"  
  
"No he tried though" I whisper out.  
  
"Are you ok?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Jack was pretty worked up when he got back here."  
  
"Oh?" I respond, not sure what he means.  
  
"I guess I can see why. I mean if my mistress was attacked." his voice is light and humorous.  
  
"I'm not his mistress!"  
  
"Calm down. I'm just joking with you Samantha. You of all people should know that. I should let you go before Jack comes out and attacks my ass. Bye."  
  
"Bye" I answer, before hanging up the phone. I let out a sigh, pulling the blankets tighter around me as I relax against the sofa.  
  
I flip on the television, trying to relax my mind and worry about something other than my own life. After surfing through the channels I close my eyes with a sigh, exhausted and ready for Jack to be here.  
  
My thoughts travel to Jack and our experience last night together. This morning he seemed willing to continue the affair, although I'm not sure what that means. He knows how hard it was to keep it quiet, will we back to the same old ways? I'd rather have that then nothing with him though.  
  
I hear a key in the door and immediately jump from the sound. I look up to see Jack entering my home and I let out a soft sigh.  
  
"How are you doing?"  
  
"Bored" I answer honestly.  
  
"Well the guy who broke in this morning" he breathes out, moving to take a seat beside me on the sofa. His hands slip against my own, showing me comfort and support, "he admitted to causing a series of abortions and abuse to the woman in our files."  
  
"What about the kids?"  
  
"He claims ignorance of it. Apparently his reasoning for it was to protect the children. He claimed that the women were having an affair and their husbands didn't realize it. He thinks you had Martin and Danny on the side."  
  
I let out a soft laugh and feel Jack's arms envelope me in a hug. "Are you ok?" His words are soft and sincere.  
  
"I thought it was you" I whisper out, "but something told me otherwise. I just keep wondering what would have happened if."  
  
"Shhh" he brushes his lips against my forehead, holding me closely. "You can't think like that" he tells me. "I kept thinking someone would break in when I was awake and alert, not."  
  
"I know, that's why." he stops, not wanting to remind me of his words earlier about having someone else there to watch over me. "Everything's fine now " he reminds me. He runs his hand softly against my back. I lean into his chest, feeling his strength and nod my head.  
  
"I'm alright" I whisper out.  
  
"We should get you something to eat."  
  
"I can manage."  
  
"Why don't we go out?" Jack suggests, eyeing the front door.  
  
"I don't know that I'm worthwhile company."  
  
"Don't say that" he moves his hand to my face, brushing my hair away. My eyes are filled with pain and he moves his lips to my cheeks, pressing soft kisses to erase my pain. "Come on" he tells me, helping me up and out to his car.  
  
"Where are we going to eat?"  
  
"I don't know, but I'm starved."  
  
I fasten my seatbelt and shut my eyes, not really intent on eating, but wanting the company. "Thank you" I whisper out in a hush.  
  
"For what?"  
  
"Last night" I answer. "I don't think I could have handled today without knowing that you still cared."  
  
"Samantha."  
  
"Don't say anything. I know you're going to go back to your wife and work things out. Just let me enjoy the memory, ok?"  
  
He nods, pulling out into traffic towards a small Chinese restaurant not too far from my place.  
  
Once the food arrives, I find myself picking at my plate, not really all that hungry. The thought of food churns my stomach and only reminds me of this morning. How could I have been so stupid as to think it was Jack?  
  
"Sam?" I hear his voice and glance up to look at him. "Is your food ok?"  
  
"Yeah. I'm just not really that hungry."  
  
"You ought to eat something." He presses, "you didn't eat breakfast and it's already 2:30." He points out.  
  
"I know" I whisper out with a sigh and sorrow-filled eyes. I glance up to see Marie making her way over towards our table and let out a sigh. There goes any chance of eating dinner tonight.  
  
"Jack" she eyes him accusingly and then me. "Can I have a word with you?"  
  
"Now isn't a good time." He answers her.  
  
"When is there ever a good time?" She shoots back.  
  
"I'll be right back" I stand up, heading for the bathroom to let Jack and Marie work out whatever's going on.  
  
Once I head back, I see Marie no where in sight and take a seat in my chair. "You didn't have to get up."  
  
"I had to use the bathroom" I answer, letting him say all that he wants to.  
  
"I called her this morning and told her the case was over but there were some complications with an agent being hurt in the line of duty. Long story short, she thinks I'm a lying sack of shit."  
  
I can't help but laugh.  
  
Jack offers to pay the bill, and ushers me back to his car. For the first time in all the years I've known him, I notice the absence of his wedding ring and feel my heart flutter and stomach tense. What does all this mean, if anything? I shrug the idea away, and in no time Jack follows me back to my place, walking with me inside.  
  
"Is there anything else I can do for you?"  
  
"Not really" I whisper out. "You're going to pick up our stuff from."  
  
"Danny's doing it as we speak. He'll drop by with your things."  
  
"Oh" I feel slightly disappointed Jack won't be back after he goes back into work.  
  
"Come on" he tells me, ushering me towards the bedroom. "You should get some rest."  
  
"I know." I answer with a yawn, feeling worn and probably looking like hell.  
  
Jack pulls back the sheets, helping me into bed. I lay back against the pillow, feeling a soft kiss on my cheek and his hand in my hair. "Can you give me a few minutes and I'll be right back?"  
  
"Yeah" I whisper out between shut-eyes.  
  
I hear him talking to someone on his phone but don't have the energy to determine who. I hear his footsteps back in the room and the bed dip down as he removes his shoes. His body slides next to mine beneath the covers, wrapping his arms around me.  
  
"Jack?" I whisper out.  
  
"Shhh go back to sleep." He presses a kiss to my head and runs his hands along my back soothingly as he holds me close against him.  
  
"I love you" I whisper out in a haze, barely remembering the words spoken when I awaken. 


	11. Chapter 11

"Jack?" I whisper out.  
  
"Shhh go back to sleep." He presses a kiss to my head and runs his hands along my back soothingly as he holds me close against him.  
  
"I love you" I whisper out in a haze, barely remembering the words spoken when I awaken.  
  
*************  
  
I roll around, hearing the television on as my eyes open to see what's going on. Jack's lying beside me, propped up and watching an old film. I glance down to see my bag of clothes lying on the floor.  
  
"Hey Sam" he glances into my eyes and smiles softly. "You're looking better."  
  
"Tired" I whisper out as a yawn escapes my lips.  
  
"Danny dropped of your stuff."  
  
"He came in here?" I question, feeling slightly uncomfortable with being watched in my sleep, especially given the circumstances.  
  
"The living room yeah. I brought your bag in here."  
  
"Oh thanks" I smile softly, leaning into Jack's warm body as I cuddle against him. I close my eyes, feeling tired with sleep as he holds me close against his frame. "Aren't you supposed to be at work?" I groggily question.  
  
"I took the day off." He tells me, running his fingers through my hair. I glance down towards his hand, noticing the wedding ring over his finger and let out a soft sigh as I feel a knot tighten in my stomach.  
  
I move to lie against the pillows and glance towards him, "you can go home now, I'm fine" I reassure him.  
  
"I know" he answers soundly. "I wanted to keep an eye on you."  
  
"Go home Jack" I whisper out. I feel my heart break at the words that slip from my mouth but know they must be said. "You're wife and children need you" I remind him.  
  
He lets out a sigh, moving to shift off the bed. "I'll go home after dinner" he answers. "You haven't eaten much today. I want to make sure you get at least one good meal in you."  
  
"Jack" I plead with him. I don't want this to be any harder then it already is. It's bad enough I know he's going to go home to his family, but to drag the pain out, to make me want him more is unbearable. "Please, I need some time alone."  
  
He moves to stand up, eyeing me intently. "Is that what you really want, me gone?"  
  
"Don't say it like that" I feel my heart crushed at his words. It's the last thing I want, but I can't have what I long for. "You understand, don't you?" I question, glancing up into his eyes.  
  
He lets out a sigh, giving me no real answer and grabs his shoes. He laces them on and stands up, "I'll see you tomorrow" he tells me, before leaving my house. I let out a silent sob, feeling far worse then I did a few hours before.  
  
I patter around my kitchen, looking for something to eat. I can't seem to find anything appetizing as I glance in the counter and then in the fridge.  
  
I hear a soft rap at the door and glance through the peephole before opening it to reveal Martin.  
  
"Hey Samantha" his face looks bright and cheery.  
  
"Come in" I offer, opening the door to him with sorrow-filled eyes. He slips off his coat and he places it on the arm of the sofa.  
  
"I brought wine" he smiles, offering me a bottle of an aged delicacy.  
  
"Martin."  
  
"I know you probably don't want me here" he answers, "but I thought you shouldn't be alone, at least for dinner."  
  
"I don't have anything pulled out" I remind him.  
  
"We can order a pizza" he suggests. I head on over towards the phone and make the call. Once it's been ordered, I take a seat on the recliner across from Martin.  
  
"Still no word on the missing kids?" I glance over towards him as he relaxes into the cushions.  
  
"Nope. I'm guessing we'll know in two months if another one disappears." Martin pauses before looking me straight in the eyes, "have you seen Jack recently?"  
  
"He's probably home" I deflect the question, not sure what he's getting at.  
  
"Oh ok. I wanted to run something by him but he wasn't answering his cell phone."  
  
"Probably turned it off to get some sleep" I answer. "Have you been feeling better?" I question, trying to steer the conversation away from Jack.  
  
"Yeah. Good as new" he smiles warmly towards me. "What about you?"  
  
I let out a soft breath, "still pretty tired after this morning."  
  
"It's not surprising." I hear the doorbell, and Martin stands up, offering to get the pizza and pay the bill. I accept his offer, given the fact I probably wouldn't have eaten dinner otherwise. 


	12. Chapter 12

Two months come and go and I feel I'm back at the beginning. Jack is still going home to Marie at night, and I go home to an empty house. Every few weeks I join Martin at the bar, grabbing a coke and enjoying friendly chatter. I take a seat in the booth, across from Martin. I play with the straw in my drink, bored beyond all recognition. As great as Martin is, I don't find myself drawn to him like I do Jack. In fact everyone I know and meet, I compare them to him.  
  
"What's the matter?" Martin's eyes watch me. I glance up with a tired sigh.  
  
"It's been two months Martin" I remind him, glancing out the window to the darkness outside.  
  
"Since what?" He watches me intently as I let out a breath and a gasp as I see Jack heading into the bar.  
  
"Sam" Jack nods towards me, heading on over to greet us. "Hope I'm not interrupting you two" he quips, "we've got a two year old girl who disappeared this morning."  
  
I glance into Jack's tired and dreary eyes, "does this have any relation to the neighborhood and the undercover assignment we took."  
  
"Yes and no." He answers. He slides into the booth beside me, pulling out a file. "I believe it's the same guy, just in a different neighborhood. I'm thinking he's trying to pin the other disappearances on the other guy we caught."  
  
"Are we going undercover again?" I question with a hint of hope between my eyes.  
  
"No" he answers. "We're taking this from a Federal standpoint. An Amber Alert has already been made, now we're hoping someone will respond."  
  
"I'm going to use the bathroom and then I'm ready to head into the office."  
  
"Martin go home" Jack tells him. "You can't come into work inebriated."  
  
"I'm only on my second drink."  
  
"You know the rules" Jack reminds him.  
  
"I had a coke" I point out, eyeing my glass and Jack nods. "I'll take you into the office" he offers, ushering me towards the car. Martin offers to pay the bill and I whisper him a simple 'thank you' before following Jack out to his vehicle.  
  
He unlocks the door and I slip inside, waiting for him to join me. "We need to talk" I tell him.  
  
"I know. I've just been so caught up lately with things. I promise we will." He reassures me.  
  
I let out a sigh and glance out the window.  
  
"Jack. I'm pregnant."  
  
"What?" He chokes on his voice, caught up on the thought. "Does Martin know?"  
  
"Jack it's yours! No one else knows" I answer. His breathing quickens as I move my hand along his on the steering wheel. "Breathe Jack" I remind him.  
  
"I'm trying. It's just a lot to take in." He glances towards me in the darkness of the car. "Are you sure?"  
  
"Unless six different pregnancy tests were false positives, I'm pretty sure." I answer. "Listen I wasn't happy about this at first either, but the idea grew on me."  
  
"Sam" he whispers out. I'm not sure what he was going to say, but he shuts his mouth with a nod.  
  
We pull into the parking garage of the Bureau and I sit there waiting for him to say something. After a moment I unbuckle my seatbelt and open my car door. "I won't tell Marie, if that's what you're worried about." I step out of the car, heading towards the elevator with Jack in toe behind me.  
  
"Sam."  
  
"Jack don't" I shake my head no.  
  
"You're right we need to talk. Later though" he eyes me seriously and then my abdomen. "Maybe you should go home, get some sleep."  
  
"Jack I'm fine" I remind him.  
  
"If you won't go home for me, go home for."  
  
"Jack" I interrupt him with a sigh and then a yawn. He eyes me sternly and I nod. "Alright as soon as I know what's going on I'll head home."  
  
"Five minutes" he tells me seriously. "You don't need to stay any later then that."  
  
"You don't have a full team" I remind him. "Besides you need your rest too. You haven't been looking that great lately."  
  
"Thanks" he eyes me with a smirk.  
  
"I'm serious Jack."  
  
"I'll come by after the case tonight." He answers, "we'll talk then."  
  
"Don't drop by too late" I emphasize. The elevator doors open and we make our way onto the floor. We head towards the large desk in the office, nodding towards Danny and Vivian.  
  
"I've got an hour" Viv stresses, eyeing her watch.  
  
"I know, Sam's leaving too" he eyes me then Danny. "An Amber Alert is already been established for the missing girl. Danny and I will be going over to the parent's house to find out the specific details. Meet back here at 8am. We're starting bright and early" Jack reminds us.  
  
"Why does Sam get to leave?" Danny eyes me and then Jack.  
  
"Because I call the shots" Jack retorts.  
  
"Come on Samantha" Vivian eyes me, and heads with me to the elevator. "I know it's not my place, but I didn't think I'd ever see Jack happy again" she tells me. We step out onto the parking garage, heading towards our cars.  
  
"What are you implying?" I turn towards her, head on.  
  
"Nothing" she smiles politely, "I just miss seeing him that way." Vivian answers with a closed lip smile and nod. "See you tomorrow." She tells me before slipping in her car. I make my way towards mine with a sigh, unlocking the door and taking a seat inside.  
  
"Jack" I whisper out, resting my head against the seat with a sigh. I can hardly believe two months ago I was pretending to be pregnant, and now, I let out another breath, now I actually am.  
  
I make my way home, opening the front door and greeting the darkness. I flip on the light, grabbing my cell phone and shuffle it between my hands. I want to call, I just never have anything to say.  
  
I dial the number, waiting for the voice on the other end. 


	13. Chapter 13

I make my way home, opening the front door and greeting the darkness. I flip on the light, grabbing my cell phone and shuffle it between my hands. I want to call, I just never have anything to say.  
  
***********  
  
I dial the number, waiting for the voice on the other end.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hi Mom" I whisper out.  
  
"Samantha is that you?"  
  
"Yeah" I whisper out in a hush, holding back tears. What I wouldn't give to erase the painful years between my mother and myself.  
  
"What's wrong?" Her voice holds concern.  
  
"It's nothing" I answer with a soft laugh.  
  
"You never call on Thursday's" she points out.  
  
"I know. I just wanted to hear your voice, is that ok?"  
  
"Of course it is. What happened?" She questions again, knowing something isn't right.  
  
"It's nothing" I answer. "I should go it's getting late" I whisper out. I hang up the phone and feel tears burning my eyes.  
  
I slip onto my couch, pulling the soft blanket over my body that Jack bought me just less than two months ago. He brought it by as a thank you after the case. It was also the night we knew we had to end the affair, though neither of us spoke the words. He said his good-byes that evening, stepping out of my life and drifting further away every day since.  
  
I hear a key slip in the lock and glance up to see Jack stepping through the door. "Hey Sam."  
  
"Hi" I yawn out with tired eyes. He moves towards me, taking a seat by my feet.  
  
"I wish you would have told me sooner." He eyes me seriously.  
  
"I wasn't sure myself. I thought it was the stress of the job, me being late. Then I took one at home pregnancy test, and then another, until I tried them all." I laugh softly. I feel the pain in my heart resurfacing and I glance away trying to hide my emotions and bury them within me.  
  
"Sam" his voice is soft as he moves closer towards me. I lean against his body, feeling his warm arms holding me tight.  
  
"I can do this on my own." I remind him.  
  
"Sam" he moves his arm around my body, holding me close as he presses a kiss to the top of my forehead. "Marie and I are getting a divorce."  
  
"What?" My eyes hold uncertainty as he nods.  
  
"The night you told me to leave after the case. I came home and we both decided it wasn't going to work out. She wasn't doing her part and I was tired of living in a loveless marriage. Not after I saw what it would be like to married to you."  
  
"Jack" I whisper out shaking my head no, not believing his words.  
  
"I've been staying in a hotel for the past two months, deciding when to break the news to you. I wanted you to be happy and I thought" he lets out a sigh, "I thought you moved on. I saw you and Martin getting along and I wasn't going to interfere. Not with everything else you've been through."  
  
My eyes move to his left hand, noticing the absence of his wedding ring. "Then why have you been wearing it?" I question, running my finger against the pale impression.  
  
"I didn't want you to be disappointed in me" he answers with a sigh.  
  
"I wish you would have come to me" I breathe out.  
  
"I wanted to, but I thought the timing wasn't right. I kept telling myself I'd tell you tomorrow and here we are."  
  
"I don't know what you're asking of me" I feel his hand running softly over my back to comfort me. I feel his lips on my temple as he presses a soft kiss to the skin. His hand snakes through my hair, and I let out a soft moan, feeling content. "Jack" I whisper out, wanting more.  
  
I drop the blanket, turning my face to his as our lips meet. My teeth gently suck down on his lower lip, knowing what drives him wild and quells all doubts. His hands move over my back, crawling its way under my blouse to feel over my skin.  
  
My tongue trails over his neck, lapping at his salty skin. My lips latch onto his ear, tonguing the lobe and sucking gently behind his neck. He lets out a low groan, encouraging me onward.  
  
My fingers trail over and down his arms, making their way under his shirt, feeling over his chest. I pull back, long enough to slip the material off and to the floor.  
  
"Sam" he whispers out in a deep hush, as my lips meet his. His hands gradually skirt my top up and I laugh as we break apart our kiss, having to unbutton my top so I don't get 'stuck'. I shed my shirt, feeling Jack's lips on my neck and between my cleavage. He gently pushes me onto my back, as I lie against the sofa.  
  
His tongue dips between my breasts, kissing his way down and across my abdomen. His eyes glance into mine, telling me what he's thinking about. I let out a soft breath, feeling his hand gently sliding over my stomach towards the button on my slacks.  
  
Our movements become urgent and frantic. Our bodies shed all clothes and all fears as we consume each other completely as one.  
  
Jack lies above me, our hearts pounding and bodies covered in sweat as he moves to press a soft kiss to my head. He rolls me onto my side, holding me close as I feel his body nestled behind me. He pulls the blanket from the floor, covering our bodies with it.  
  
"I want you to marry me" he whispers out.  
  
"Jack, no" I shake my head.  
  
"Why not? It won't be until the divorce is finalized. Which should be sometime by the end of the month."  
  
"Because I can't be like Marie. I can't live in a loveless marriage and pretending for the same things. I can't risk fearing that you're having an affair if I'm not happy or if you're not happy."  
  
"That wouldn't happen" he presses a soft kiss to my shoulder blade.  
  
"And why not?" I question, feeling my heart filling with tears. I feel Jack's hand along my abdomen, softly running circles on my skin.  
  
"I love you" he tells me sincerely. "I always have. If it makes you feel any better I haven't been with another woman since you, sexually" Jack tells me. "Even Marie and I haven't had sex since our first time together."  
  
"I'm not sure how that's supposed to make me feel." I answer.  
  
"I know you're not as innocent" he teases into my ear, his lips brushing the lobe. I roll around beside him, turning to face him.  
  
"I'm not innocent?" I chide. "I might have gone on a few dates, and maybe even led a few guys on, but you're the only guy I even thought about having sex with." I tell him.  
  
"Then why not marry me?" His eyes look deep into mine and I feel my stomach do somersaults.  
  
"I can't" I whisper out. "You're wanting it for the wrong reasons."  
  
"And what reasons are those?" He questions.  
  
"Because I'm pregnant" I remind him. He lets out a sigh, closing his eyes for a moment to compose himself before meeting my gaze. His hand on my hip grows tighter, holding me closer against him.  
  
"Even if you weren't having a baby, I'd still want to spend the rest of my life with you." He tells me, pressing a soft kiss to my lips.  
  
"What about your girls?" I question.  
  
"I have joint custody. Pretty much some evenings, weekends, and holidays. Marie's trying to help out with the schedule and my job. She's not happy about it, but I think she's more relaxed now that I'm out of the house." He runs his hand from hip down over my lower back. "I don't want to have three children I'm sharing custody with" he tells me.  
  
"Well that's a good reason to marry me."  
  
"You know I love you" he whispers out. "Please don't be this way."  
  
"I'm not trying to" I answer softly, moving my head into his chest for comfort. "I just want to be sure it's right. I don't want to be disappointed, not again."  
  
"I'm so sorry" he stresses, pressing soft kisses to the top of my head. "If I could make it all right, you know I would."  
  
"I just need time to adjust" I tell him. "The pregnancy is a lot by itself, and now this" I whisper out.  
  
"I want to be there for you, every step of the way."  
  
"Thank you" I answer glancing up into his eyes. I move my lips towards his, taking in his comfort and warmth. "How about we make our way to the bedroom?" I question.  
  
"Again?" He laughs, sitting up and following me into my bed and under the covers.  
  
I feel his body melt into mine as we lie beside one another. "You're so beautiful" he whispers out, brushing away the wisps of hair from my face.  
  
"Jack" I breathe out with a blushing smile. "You just wait until I'm due. I bet I won't be hearing you say that then."  
  
"Not true" he answers, pressing a soft kiss to my neck, nuzzling my skin. His limbs entangle with mine as we close our eyes, drifting to sleep until morning. 


	14. Chapter 14

"Jack" I breathe out with a blushing smile. "You just wait until I'm due. I bet I won't be hearing you say that then."  
  
"Not true" he answers, pressing a soft kiss to my neck, nuzzling my skin. His limbs entangle with mine as we close our eyes, drifting to sleep until morning.  
  
***********  
  
I open my eyes, seeing the light shine through the window and glance towards Jack. He's sleeping peacefully beside me as I lean over, pressing a kiss to his neck, softly sucking his flesh.  
  
"Mmm Samantha" he moans out, rolling closer towards me, our bodies caressing beneath the sheets.  
  
"I need to get up and take a shower, you want to join me?" I question.  
  
In no time Jack slips out of bed, following behind me to the bathroom. "Is there room for two?"  
  
"Same as the last time" I remind him with a wide grin, thinking back to that early September morning with the windows open and the bathroom filled with steam.  
  
We stand beneath the spray, soaping at each other's bodies and rinsing the suds away. "Have you thought about what Van Doren will say?" Jack eyes me, running soapy fingers along my arms, and linking his fingers with mine.  
  
"I was going to wait awhile." I answer honestly.  
  
"You can only wait so long before she figures things out for herself."  
  
"I know" I nod, slipping my head back into the stream, rinsing away the shampoo. "I don't want to see matters complicated at work."  
  
"They're already complicated" he reminds me.  
  
"Ok I don't want to be stuck doing paperwork again."  
  
"That I can't promise." He answers, "especially when you start to show. We can't take the chance that something could happen" he presses a soft kiss to my neck and then his eyes meet mine.  
  
"Jack" I plead with him, my eyes begging him to let me in on the assignment.  
  
"After this case we tell Van Doren."  
  
"That means at the very least I'll get transferred."  
  
"Not if you don't tell her who the father is." Jack reminds me.  
  
"She'll know" I point out.  
  
"She'll figure as much, but I wasn't certain. She can't be either. It won't be any more than suspicions like it was before." He stresses.  
  
"And what about if you stay here with me?" I question. "I don't like hiding our relationship."  
  
"I know" he presses a kiss to my forehead as we shut off the faucet and grab two bath towels to dry ourselves down with. "I can transfer divisions if that's what you want."  
  
"No" I shake my head. "I can't work with someone else. Besides you shouldn't have to transfer. I'll have to take a leave of absence when the baby comes."  
  
"We'll work out the details along the way" he presses a kiss to my lips and wraps his arms around my towel, helping to dry me off. "I need to stop off at the hotel to get a new change of clothes."  
  
"Get all your things" I remind him, "you're coming back here tonight to stay with me."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Positive. Unless you have plans to be with another woman I don't know about."  
  
"Agent Spade" he teases.  
  
"Well we'll have to see about her."  
  
"Yes we will" he brushes his lips over mine, a course of electricity passing between our bodies.  
  
"Jack" I whisper out, feeling myself growing weak from a single kiss.  
  
"I need to go" he answers me, his eyes telling me he wants to stay.  
  
"I know" I nod, heading into the bedroom to grab an outfit for work. "See you later" I quip, watching as he slips on his clothes from last night. He heads toward me, brushing his lips against mine for a goodbye kiss before exiting out the front door.  
  
I head into the kitchen, fixing myself some breakfast before making my way to the office.  
  
I ride the elevator on up, thinking about last night and being with Jack. I let out a nervous breath, feeling slightly relieved he's ok with the entire ordeal, but also shaky about what lies in my future.  
  
I can't imagine spending the rest of my life with one person. I can't even fathom the idea. Maybe that sounds shallow or makes me sound skanky but it's not like that. I love Jack, I know I do. I just don't know in twenty years if he'll still love me. Times change, people change. 


	15. Chapter 15

I can't imagine spending the rest of my life with one person. I can't even fathom the idea. Maybe that sounds shallow or makes me sound skanky but it's not like that. I love Jack, I know I do. I just don't know in twenty years if he'll still love me. Times change, people change.  
  
********  
  
"Hey guys" I nod towards Martin and Danny, making my way over.  
  
"Hey Samantha" Martin glances up from the file, looking pleased to see me.  
  
"How'd last night go?" I question Danny. "Any new leads or pertinent information?"  
  
"I don't know, why don't you ask Jack" he whispers glancing towards Jack as he makes his way into his office. "He looks ever so cheerful."  
  
"Yeah what's with that?" Martin questions with a shrug.  
  
Danny's eyes are on Jack and then back on me. He knows, he's always known. He questioned me about it back when we were on the undercover assignment. I never denied it. No reason to. Why lie when there's nothing to gain?  
  
Jack makes his way over towards us, as I glance over at the file sprawled across the desk. Angela Monroe, taken from her backyard around 7pm. No witnesses. The mother heard her daughter screaming and ran outside, Angela was gone.  
  
"Any leads?" I glance towards Jack and he shakes his head no with a sigh.  
  
"We're running this just like the other cases."  
  
"With nothing to go on" Danny points out.  
  
"Something will surface" Jack's tone is insistent. "We'll catch this guy and put him behind bars, I'm sure of it."  
  
Jack lifts his ringing cell phone, walking off towards his office to take the call. Vivian glances down at the folder of the missing girl and shakes her head with a sigh.  
  
"Such a shame" she whispers out.  
  
"How far is this neighborhood from where Jack and I went undercover on the serial child abduction case?" I question.  
  
Vivian glances through the file then eyes me, "six maybe seven miles."  
  
"He's still staying within the town." I point out. "It's got to be him."  
  
"I'm guessing he's got a place nearby. Somewhere to house or at worst bury the children." Martin puts in his two cents.  
  
"Did we check any graveyards the last time around?" Danny questions.  
  
Jack makes his way back over towards us, hearing our conversation. "Yes but nothing was found."  
  
"It's unlikely the other children are still alive, but this one still has a reasonable chance." I point out.  
  
"If we find her in time" Vivian glances down at the photo of the little girl and I feel my stomach plummet.  
  
"Samantha I want you and Danny to head on over to the preschool Angela attended. Maybe there's a link there. Vivian you and Martin should check out any neighbors, relatives, and enemies the family might have. For all we know this is a copycat."  
  
"A copycat on an unpublicized case?" Danny chides.  
  
"What's so unpublicized?" Jack remarks, "it's been all over the news children are disappearing."  
  
Vivian glances my way and then her and Danny stand up, making their way out on assignment. "Before you and Danny take off" Jack eyes me, "I'd like to have a word with you in my office."  
  
I follow behind Jack, waiting to enter his office and watch as the door shuts behind me. "What's this about?" I question.  
  
"I want you to see a doctor." Jack tells me, taking a seat on the edge of his desk.  
  
"What?" My eyes widen. "You think I'm nuts?"  
  
"On the contrary Samantha. You need to see someone about more important matters, and I'd like to attend" he tells me, glancing down towards my abdomen.  
  
"Oh that" I breathe out a sigh of relief. "Yeah I was going to wait until" I pause, not really sure why I've been delaying the first appointment.  
  
"It's important Sam. If you don't make the call, I will."  
  
"Who are you going to call? You're wife's." Jack eyes me to shut up. "Fine" I breathe out, defeated.  
  
"Let me know when the appointment is, I want to be there for you."  
  
"I'll be fine" I remind him.  
  
"I know but I want to be there." He tells me, taking my hand in his softly.  
  
"Alright I'll make the call tonight when I get home." I answer. "In the meantime," I nod towards the shut door and closed curtains, "think we ought to give Danny a show?" I tease. "You could always shove me up against the blinds and see his reaction."  
  
"Sam" he grins, with a smile that tells me he's not completely against the idea, "come on" he tells me, standing up and ushering me towards the door.  
  
I step outside, noticing Danny with a huge smile on his face. I eye him to keep any and all thoughts to himself. "You ready?" He questions.  
  
"Always" I answer, following Danny out and down to our destination. 


	16. Chapter 16

I step outside, noticing Danny with a huge smile on his face. I eye him to keep any and all thoughts to himself. "You ready?" He questions.  
  
"Always" I answer, following Danny out and down to our destination.  
  
************  
  
As Danny interviews the daycare worker on shift, I glance around at the pictures, paintings, and sculptures created by the children.  
  
"That one was Angela's" a dark-haired woman tells me. "I heard your friend over there talking to Leslie."  
  
"I'm with the FBI" I tell her, showing her my badge, "Agent Spade" I introduce myself.  
  
"I'm Jessie" she smiles, putting out her hand to introduce herself. "I kept a close eye on Angela when she came in. She was one of the younger one's we had in here. Debbie called me this morning to tell me she was gone. I thought I'd come in, and try to keep my mind off the disappearance."  
  
"Is there anything you can tell me about Angela that stands out?"  
  
"She was incredibly shy and kept to herself. She'd spend most of the day playing with the phone" I glance over to see what Jessie's looking at, a plastic yellow toy phone attached to the wall. "She wanted to call her mom." She lets out a soft sigh.  
  
"Did you ever notice her actually dial the correct number?"  
  
"She's two" she sighs out, "if you're asking if she knew her home number, I doubt it."  
  
"If you think of anything else" I tell her, handing over one of my cards, "please feel free to call."  
  
Danny makes his way over towards me, "anything?" He questions.  
  
"Nothing" I let out a sigh as we head out towards the car. I take a seat, allowing Danny to drive as I glance down at the picture of the missing girl, memorizing every detail of her appearance. "Do you ever wonder what happens to them?" I question aloud, noticing Danny glancing over in my direction.  
  
"They're probably dead" he muses.  
  
"Then how'd they die?"  
  
"Why would you want to think of that?"  
  
"I don't know" I stammer, glancing down at the image of the girl, "maybe because I could find her then."  
  
"Samantha" Danny glances over towards me. "Are you ok?"  
  
"I'm fine" I nod softly. "I just want to bring closure to this family" I tell him.  
  
"Me too." He answers, as we pull into the parking lot of the federal building.  
  
Jack makes his way towards me, "tell me you got something."  
  
I shake my head no. "Have you heard from Vivian and Martin yet?"  
  
"No" Jack lets out a sigh, "Danny why don't you give them a call. I have some personal matters to attend to. Van Doren's going to come in and take control of this case." Danny walks off and I step closer to Jack.  
  
"What's wrong Jack? Are the girls alright?" I see the panic behind his eyes.  
  
"Hannah's missing" he whispers out.  
  
"Oh Jack" I whisper out, moving my hand to his arm, "I'm so sorry. Do they know what happened?"  
  
"We think she ran away. At least I'm hoping that was the case. She was in class and was talking out of turn. Her teacher sent her out into the hallway and next thing they realized, she was gone."  
  
"I'm sure she'll show up at home." I answer.  
  
"That's what I'm worried about. She's been acting really strange lately Sam, since we told her about the divorce."  
  
"You think she left for good?" I question.  
  
"I'm concerned about that."  
  
"Why don't you go home?" I suggest. "Maybe she went there looking for Marie or you."  
  
"Marie's already at the house. She's fuming about the scenario, blaming it on me."  
  
"It's not your fault" I remind him. I squeeze his hand reassuringly. "Do you want me to take some time off too and help? I don't mind."  
  
"No. I'll call you if I need you though, ok?"  
  
I pull him in for a hug and ignore Van Doren's gaze as she walks in the room. I pull back, glancing into Jack's red eyes. "We should make this our first priority, your daughter."  
  
"No" Jack shakes his head. "I'm sure she's fine. Sam" his voice chokes on a sob, "I don't want her to be some case number" he whispers into my ear as I run my hand along his back.  
  
"I'm here for you" I tell him softly. He nods appreciatively and steps into his office to grab his things before leaving.  
  
"Agent Spade, can I have a word with you in my office?" Van Doren eyes me sternly.  
  
I make my way towards her office, stepping inside. "Take a seat" she tells me.  
  
I sit, feeling her gaze glaring down at me. She shuts the door and moves around to take a seat behind her desk. "We obviously have a situation on our hands."  
  
"We do" I repeat aloud, curious as to what she's referring to. Jack or his daughter? 


	17. Chapter 17

I sit, feeling her gaze glaring down at me. She shuts the door and moves around to take a seat behind her desk. "We obviously have a situation on our hands."  
  
"We do" I repeat aloud, curious as to what she's referring to. Jack or his daughter?  
  
**********  
  
"I'll ignore what I saw out in the hallway, if you'll tell me what's going on."  
  
"We think Hannah ran away from school" I answer honestly. "Jack didn't tell you that?"  
  
"No he didn't" she lets out a sigh, relaxing into her chair. "He's not making this a case?"  
  
"I think he's in denial." I respond.  
  
"Do me a favor, look into it for me, would you?" She questions.  
  
"Yes of course."  
  
"I might suggest trying the hotel Jack's been staying at." She slides me the address from across the table. I recognize the hotel. It's where the affair began. I try not to look surprised at all.  
  
"Any place else?" I question. "How about the school where she was last seen?"  
  
"No" Van Doren shakes her head. "Jack's going to be all over that. You could also try where Marie works" she suggests. "Listen I know Jack he won't want you involved but he needs you" she tells me. "You're the closest agent and friend he has here."  
  
"Thank you" I tell her, feeling a bit more at ease then when I walked in. I am curious though, I always thought Vivian and Jack were closer friends?  
  
I slide the slip of paper into my pocket and glance over towards Danny. "I'm out of here for the day." I tell him.  
  
"What'd you do?" He chuckles with amusement.  
  
"You don't want to know" I tease back.  
  
"Good news on Angela" Danny tells me.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Seems she attempted to make a 911 call. We have a team there now, including Vivian and Martin."  
  
"Let me know how it goes."  
  
"You're really out of here?"  
  
"Something came up" I tell him seriously.  
  
"Oh" he nods although having no idea what I'm talking about. "Have a good afternoon."  
  
"Right, you too" I tell him, heading downstairs and on my way out.  
  
I slip in my car and pull out for the main road. I make my way towards the hotel, crossing my fingers for some kind of miracle.  
  
I step out of my car, allowing valet to park it while I make my way inside. Immediately I glance around the hotel lobby, looking for any signs that Hannah has been here.  
  
"Can I help you?"  
  
"Yes I'm looking for a young girl."  
  
"Came in by herself, dark brown hair, catholic school uniform?" The man responds.  
  
"Yes that's her" I nod with hope.  
  
"She left about half an hour ago."  
  
"Did she say where?" I question.  
  
"No. She seemed upset though. I told her she could wait here but she refused."  
  
"If you see her or think of anything else, please call me" I hand him my card. He glances down at the words FBI and his eyes widen.  
  
"Will do." He tells me politely.  
  
I step outside, feeling the breeze and let out a soft sigh. I glance around, trying to determine where I would go if I was her. It seems as though she's looking for Jack. Would she try going home next, or the office?  
  
I dial Danny at the office giving him a heads up and relaying him the recent news, and next Jack.  
  
"Jack" my voice catches in my throat.  
  
"Sam you know this isn't a good time."  
  
"Van Doren wanted me on this."  
  
"You told her?" He lets out an aggravated breath.  
  
"Hannah went to your hotel room. When you weren't there she left. Where might she have gone?"  
  
"She was there?"  
  
"We have someone matching her description that showed up by herself. It seems likely. She was upset Jack" I tell him. "She's probably looking for you."  
  
"She should have gone home" he fumes.  
  
"At least she ran away and wasn't taken" I glance down the street, hoping things won't change "I'll keep an eye out for her" I tell him. "If I see or hear anything I'll let you know."  
  
"Thanks" he answers, before hanging up the phone.  
  
After a few minutes of waiting for valet to retrieve my car, I pull out of the parking lot slowly. I glance around, trying to think of where Hannah might have gone. I open my window, listening to the sounds of traffic and the city. I hear a faint crying sound, a voice hardly above a whisper as I pull out and make a right heading down the road. I slowly drive down, noticing an alley and turning into it.  
  
I see Hannah, sitting against the building in tears. I step out of the car, showing her my badge. "Hannah I'm Agent Spade. I work with your dad, Jack" I tell her. She glances at my badge as I look down at her blotchy red eyes and bright red nose.  
  
"Will you take me to him?"  
  
"Sure" I offer, giving her my hand to help her stand up. She winces in pain as she gets on two legs. "What's the matter?"  
  
"I fell earlier" she tells me, as I notice her scratched knee.  
  
"You ok to walk?"  
  
"I can manage" she answers, heading towards the passenger side of the car.  
  
I unlock the door for her, and then head around to my side. I make sure she's buckled in before backing out of the alley and dialing Jack.  
  
"Hey" I state, hearing his sigh on the other end. "I found Hannah" I tell him right away.  
  
He breathes out a sigh of relief. "Is she ok?"  
  
"She scratched up her knee, but she'll be fine. Where should I bring her? Are you home?"  
  
"Yeah I'm with Marie. Can I talk to her?"  
  
"Of course" I answer with a soft smile, "here Hannah" I hand her the phone. "You're dad wants to talk to you."  
  
"Hi Dad" Hannah places the phone to her ear letting out a groan. "I'm sorry" she tells him and I glance towards her, noticing tears streaking down her face. "Yes Samantha was nice. Ok" she hands me back the phone, "my dad wants to talk to you."  
  
"Yeah Jack?"  
  
"I know this is going to be awkward for you, but do you mind bringing her to the house?"  
  
"Not at all" I respond before hanging up the phone.  
  
"Mom is going to be so mad at me" Hannah whispers out.  
  
"I doubt that. She'll be glad you're ok" I reassure her.  
  
"How do you know that?"  
  
"I ran away once."  
  
"When you were my age?" Hannah questions.  
  
"I was older. My family went through a really rough time and I wanted to get away. Sometimes I thought it was my fault they were fighting" I tell her.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"My mom came after me. I realized how much she still loved me even though my parents might have fought."  
  
"Oh" she answers with a small breath as we pull in front of her house. "How did you know where I lived?"  
  
"Your dad told me over the phone" I smile politely in response. "Come on let's get you inside." With the sound of our doors opening and shutting, Jack and Marie make their way simultaneously outside to greet Hannah.  
  
I stand by the car, smiling softly. Jack gives Hannah a hug and a kiss and then Marie takes her inside. He makes his way over towards me.  
  
"Thank you" he whispers out, pulling me towards his for a hug.  
  
"Are you sure we should be doing this out here?"  
  
"No you're right" he takes my hand, pulling me towards the front door.  
  
"Jack?"  
  
"The divorce has been finalized" he tells me.  
  
"What about your girls?" I question. "Won't they be upset to see you with someone else?"  
  
"That's going to take some time. Although I think Hannah has a special affection for you" he smiles, as I look at him confused. We step through the door and Hannah makes her way towards me, giving me a hug.  
  
"Thank you Agent Spade."  
  
"It's Samantha" I tell her, giving her a nice squeeze back.  
  
Her sister Kate comes into the room, giving a hug and kiss to Hannah before eyeing me up and down.  
  
"I probably should be going" I tell Jack and then glance towards Marie who hasn't said anything to me yet. "Bye Hannah" I wave to her, watching as she smiles back and Kate waves back to me.  
  
"I'll see you tonight?" Jack whispers into my ear out of range for anyone else to hear.  
  
"You should keep your girls company tonight" I tell him honestly. "Nice meeting you again Marie" I tell her, nodding towards her quiet presence as I head out the front door.  
  
I head towards the car, opening the front door and glancing towards the house to see Marie making her way outside. "Samantha" she eyes me, before I have a chance to shut my door.  
  
"Yeah?" I feel my heart rate speed up and my stomach knot.  
  
"Thank you" she tells me sincerely.  
  
"I was just doing my job" I remind her.  
  
"I appreciate it. I know Jack didn't want to make this a missing persons case, but I'm glad you could help."  
  
I smile politely in response.  
  
"Oh yes and congratulations you'll make a great mother" she tells me before shutting my car door. My mouth is left hung open as she makes her way back inside her house. Jack told her? I let out a breath, and back up the car, making my way back home. 


	18. Chapter 18

"Oh yes and congratulations you'll make a great mother" she tells me before shutting my car door. My mouth is left hung open as she makes her way back inside her house. Jack told her? I let out a breath, and back up the car, making my way back home.  
  
********  
  
Another two weeks pass and the serial abduction case is finally closed. With hard evidence and a solid conviction, I know the perp will never see the light of day again. We still don't know his exact motive, but we have established he wanted to relive his childhood. Apparently he thought that taking children would let him live the moments in his life over that he enjoyed. Unfortunately each child (except for Angela) didn't play his game, and found itself forever cloaked in darkness.  
  
I myself have little to go on as to why the abductions occurred. I hear the motive but don't see the reason. Wanting to relieve your childhood, shouldn't that be a happy experience? Why kill the children? Unless his childhood wasn't ideal. Perhaps his killings were reliving something he witnessed. Maybe they're the product of a nightmare replaying in his mind. Or perhaps he's just a sick demented man with no one to love and no one who loved him.  
  
I let out a sigh, shaking my head at those thoughts and grateful the case is actually over. Lately I've had bigger things to worry about.  
  
I glance up from the magazine I've been staring at, shutting it as I hear the nurse call my name. I stand up, following her to the small-enclosed room with Jack in toe.  
  
I take a seat, answering a few questions and ultimately waiting for the results on my blood work.  
  
"Samantha" Dr. Jean comes in, with the file in hand, glancing towards me as I sit on the 'papered-bed' with Jack standing by my side. "I'm not sure whether this will be good news or bad news, but the test result came back negative."  
  
"What?" I feel my stomach jump into my throat as my heart truly crumbles to pieces. I feel Jack's hand on my back stop making circles as he takes in the information.  
  
"She took six at home pregnancy tests. You can't tell me they were all false positives."  
  
"Those aren't 100% accurate."  
  
"And the blood test was?" I question.  
  
"We can run it again if you're concerned. It's possible your hormones projected a false positive, although you say six?" she questions me. "When was your last period?"  
  
"Over two months ago" I answer, "almost three."  
  
"If you're pregnant, we're certainly far enough along to do an ultrasound." The doctor acknowledges. "We can do another blood test and see where it goes from there. I'm concerned about your HCG levels being low though, especially if you are pregnant. In the meantime, I suggest you relax. I know you have a high stress job and if you are trying to get pregnant, it won't help." She scribbles something onto a notepad then balls it up and tosses it. "I think the ultrasound would be the best method right now. If we find you're pregnant, then I think the best method is to do another blood test in a week or so and see if your levels have increased."  
  
"Alright" I answer, not really sure what to think just yet.  
  
"I'm going to send the OB/GYN doctor in to speak with you and run the ultrasound. She's part of our practice here, I'm not sure if you met with her before?"  
  
"No" I shake my head.  
  
"Dr. Kensington will be in with you shortly" she tells me. "In the meantime why don't you lie down and make yourself comfortable." She leaves the room, shutting the door behind her.  
  
Jack takes my hand squeezing it reassuringly. "Now I'm concerned" I breathe out with a sigh.  
  
"I know so am I."  
  
"I could have sworn I was pregnant, and if I am I'm worried now that the baby might not be healthy."  
  
"Shhh" Jack moves to face me, his lips pressing a soft kiss against my forehead. "Whatever happens we'll get through it." He tells me, moving his lips to my cheek and then to my lips as I feel tears fall from my eyes. "Don't cry" his soft voice only whispers to me. "If you're not pregnant then we still have plenty of time for practice." I let out a soft laugh between the heartache as his arms wrap around my frame, giving me a nice inviting hug.  
  
"Thank you" I whisper out, hiding my face in his chest.  
  
"For what?"  
  
"Coming here" I answer. "I couldn't imagine doing this alone."  
  
"You don't have to" he responds, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. I pull back, glancing into his eyes and seeing his own worry behind his brow.  
  
I hear a swift knock on the door and it open with a woman in her mid- thirties. "You must be Samantha," she says with a soft smile. "I'm Melissa Kensington."  
  
"Nice to meet you" I answer with a tearful smile.  
  
"Awww don't cry. I spoke with Dr. Jean and we're going to run the ultrasound. I promise it won't hurt."  
  
"I know" I answer nodding my head. I feel Jack's hands wiping away the final tears.  
  
"I need you to lie down" she tells me, and I follow her instructions. "I'm going to bring in the equipment." She tells us, "take a few deep breaths" she states calmly. Jack keeps his hand in mine, squeezing it reassuringly.  
  
Once the doctor shuts the door leaving the two of us alone, Jack leans down onto the bed I'm laying, his face coming towards me. "I love you" he whispers out, pressing a kiss to my lips, "no matter what happens today, I want you to know that."  
  
"I love you too" I answer, closing my eyes for a mere second. 


	19. Chapter 19

Once the doctor shuts the door leaving the two of us alone, Jack leans down onto the bed I'm laying, his face coming towards me. "I love you" he whispers out, pressing a kiss to my lips, "no matter what happens today, I want you to know that."  
  
"I love you too" I answer, closing my eyes for a mere second.  
  
************  
  
I hear the doctor knocking briefly and the doctor opens the door to enter. She brings in the machine as I feel my heart racing in anticipation.  
  
Jack stays by my head, holding my hand and running his fingers through my hair soothingly as she runs the gel and then the wand over my abdomen.  
  
"If you are pregnant" the doctor tells us, while listening and watching the monitor, "you're levels are low but not unheard of. You're also pretty far along and the level drops after the initial conception. So you're probably alright" she tells me. "Ahhh" she breathes out with a smile, running the wand over the same spot, once then twice. "See that? You're having a baby" she states softly, "congratulations."  
  
"Is the baby ok?" Jack questions.  
  
"Everything looks fine. We'll schedule a few more tests but you look as though you're having a healthy baby." I feel completely overwhelmed but also relieved. Jack bends down to press a kiss to my forehead as the doctor finishes up. "I want you to get some more lab work done" she scribbles down what she's requiring. "I also want to see you in my office in two weeks to go over everything. If anything else should come up, please feel free to call me."  
  
"Alright" I nod in response, as Jack retrieves the slip of paper from the doctor.  
  
Once we're back at my place, I head towards the sofa to lie down. "You feeling ok?" Jack questions. "You haven't said anything the entire way home. That's not like you."  
  
"It's just a lot to take in."  
  
"Everything is fine" he reassures me, bending down to my level. He brushes the hair from my face.  
  
"Jack" I whisper out, "I'm worried that things will change between us."  
  
"What's going to change? I still love you, I always will." He kisses my cheek thoughtfully.  
  
"You love your girls more than your ex-wife" I remind him. "That wasn't always the case."  
  
"Sam we've talked about this before." He pauses thinking of how to convince me. "You know what, why don't we have the girls over tonight? I'll show you how much I still love you, even with them both here."  
  
"Jack" I plead with him. "I know you want to see Hannah and Kate but don't you think it's too soon for them to adjust to us?"  
  
"They both love you" he reassures me. "Hannah couldn't stop raving about how nice you were and Kate looks up to Hannah" he tells me with a smile. "I told them last week about us. They were surprised but Hannah didn't seem upset. She asked when she'd get to see you again."  
  
"You're lying."  
  
"I wouldn't" he tells me, pulling me towards him for a hug.  
  
"They're going to hate finding out I'm pregnant." I glance away from him. "They're going to think I'm taking you from them."  
  
"They won't think that. They'll know it's not true. I agree though, we should wait to tell them." He moves his lips to mine, reassuringly.  
  
"Alright call Marie" I give in, feeling his hand in my hair and his lips on my skin.  
  
I move to allow Jack onto the sofa and feel him slip his arm around me while he pulls out his cell phone and dials with his other hand. I lean into his lap, resting my head and feeling his hand move to my hair. I close my eyes with a content smile.  
  
"Marie" Jack's voice is formal and short. "I wanted to pick up the girls tonight" he pauses listening to her response. "I know it's not my night but I wanted them to meet Samantha again. It's Friday night" he reminds her, "they'd be coming over tomorrow otherwise. I was hoping I could pick them up. Yeah after dinner is good. Thanks" he hangs up the phone and I open my eyes to see his shining.  
  
"Good news again?"  
  
"Fortunately" he smiles warmly leaning down to press a kiss to my lips. "We have two hours till we need to pick them up."  
  
His lips brush my neck, sending a riveting spark between us. "Jack" my eyes slip closed as I feel his breath and tongue against my skin. My hands roam under his shirt, feeling over his back as I pull him against me. "Mmm aren't we supposed to go to your place?" I remind him.  
  
"Yeah we should" his mouth moves down my neck, as his hands work on the buttons of my blouse.  
  
"Is it safe to be doing this?" I question, as his hand skims across my stomach.  
  
"Perfectly healthy" he answers, "for you and the baby." His kisses extend over my abdomen as his hands work on the button of my pants.  
  
"Are you sure?" I feel concern plaguing my mind.  
  
"Positive." His eyes meet mine as he moves off the sofa. "You're still worried." He announces aloud.  
  
"It's just a lot of pressure, among other things right now" I answer.  
  
"Ok we'll wait then" Jack responds, helping me up. He sits beside me as I button up my blouse.  
  
"I promise we'll continue this later" I tell him, moving my hand to his thigh as my tongue pushes it's way past his mouth.  
  
"Sam" his voice is thick and heavy from the kiss.  
  
"Later" I remind him. "We should probably figure something to do for dinner and we need to go to your apartment." I point out.  
  
"And you need to pack enough for the weekend."  
  
"You want me there the whole time?" I question.  
  
"Sam I want you in my life. I've been trying to tell you that and I want the girls to know that too. Unless you don't want."  
  
"No" I interrupt his thoughts, "I'm just nervous that's all."  
  
"They love you" he reminds me, "I love you" he kisses me sweetly, "there's nothing to be nervous about." 


	20. Chapter 20

"Sam I want you in my life. I've been trying to tell you that and I want the girls to know that too. Unless you don't want."  
  
"No" I interrupt his thoughts, "I'm just nervous that's all."  
  
"They love you" he reminds me, "I love you" he kisses me sweetly, "there's nothing to be nervous about."  
  
******  
  
"Yeah you're right" I nod with a tired breath. "What did you want to do for dinner?"  
  
"You mean we're done playing house and you cooking?" Jack teases into my ear.  
  
"When we played house" I remind him, "I couldn't cook a cake. You want me to cook dinner?"  
  
"On second thought" his smile widens, "let's get your stuff packed and lets go out to eat."  
  
"What about work? If someone sees us?"  
  
"That's the least of our concerns. Samantha you're pregnant" he reminds me with a kiss to the forehead. "We're still going to have to determine what we tell Van Doren when the time comes."  
  
"I can always resign." I point out.  
  
"I can't have you do that. If anything Samantha the way my track record has been lately, it would be better if I was a stay at home father."  
  
"Is that what you'd want to do?" I question. I realize he probably would if we could afford it. "Jack you make more money then me. It would be much more productive if."  
  
"I can push you towards a promotion" he counters with a smile.  
  
"What about Vivian, she's far more qualified then."  
  
"She'll have my position when I resign. In the meantime I think I can pull a few strings with Van Doren to convince her that you would best be served in another division."  
  
"I don't want that" I tell him. "Once you're gone that takes the point out of us hiding the relationship and me transferring units. Besides Jack, I wouldn't want to work anything but missing persons cases." I remind him.  
  
"What do you suggest?"  
  
"I don't know" I answer honestly. "I don't want to give up working but I also don't want to jeopardize your career."  
  
"I want to stay home" he tells me. "I want to take care of the baby."  
  
"I'm going to have to take time off work when the baby comes" I remind him. "We both can't be off work then."  
  
"You could take maternity leave while I finish up for good."  
  
"We'll worry about it as the time comes."  
  
"There's only so much time we have until everyone knows your due" Jack points out.  
  
"I know. I'm just trying to delay the inevitable" I laugh softly making my way towards the bedroom. "You want to help me pick out what to wear this weekend?" Jack follows me into the room and opens my closet. He pulls out a black top and I grab a pair of jeans. I dig through my drawers, grabbing another top and looking for my sweats along with a white tanktop for bed.  
  
"You're wearing that to bed?" He fiddles through my drawer lifting some sexy lingerie. "How about this?" His smile widens as he sees how see- through and suggestive the material is.  
  
"I don't think so" I answer. "You're daughters will be home."  
  
"We'll lock the bedroom door" he answers with a wicked grin.  
  
"Jack" I shake my head no with a smile.  
  
"How come I never saw your style of underwear sooner?" He questions.  
  
"You mean the lingerie?"  
  
"That's what I'm saying" he repeats.  
  
"You never came over with the intention of spending the night in a non- sexual way" I remind him.  
  
"Sure I have."  
  
"When?" I counter in a light-teasing manner.  
  
He chooses to ignore the question, "so you're saying you'd have worn that to seduce me?"  
  
"Keen observer," I respond with a closed lip smile, zipping my bag and then turning off the light.  
  
Jack offers to take my bag, tossing it into the truck before opening my door for me. "Thank you" I smile sincerely. I slip into the car, buckling up and as we head out for dinner.  
  
"What are you in the mood for?"  
  
"Anything sounds good. I'm starving." I answer.  
  
"Me too."  
  
Once dinner is finished we drop off my things we head back to his place. "We have twenty minutes till I need to pick up the girls" Jack reminds me.  
  
"I thought I was going to come with you. Unless that would be too awkward?" I question, realizing Marie will be there.  
  
"No you're right you should come. Let's unpack your stuff in the drawers and then we'll head out."  
  
As we pull in front of the girls other home I feel my stomach plummet. "Maybe I should wait in the car."  
  
"Samantha" Jack's eyes meet mine, "please" his voice drips with honey. "I want the girls to see what a happy family is composed of."  
  
"Alright" I answer with a smile and feel my fears quelled. I step out of the car, following Jack up the steps to the front door.  
  
He rings the doorbell and I see both dark-eyed beauties running for the front door, pulling their dad in for a hug. "Marie" Jack greets her, noticing her making her way over.  
  
"Jack" she nods towards him and then me, "Samantha. I'll pick them up on Sunday for dinner." She tells him.  
  
"Alright sounds good."  
  
"You'll be at your place, correct?"  
  
"Of course" Jack answers, taking Kate's hand in his as we head out to the car.  
  
"Hey Samantha" Hannah smiles up towards me as we make our way towards the car, "will you sit back here with me?"  
  
"Sure" I answer, glad to see they're not fighting over sitting next to their dad. I was concerned that would be the case. Jack eyes me with bright eyes as we all take a seat in the car, buckling up before heading back towards his apartment.  
  
Every few minutes I notice Jack glancing in the rearview mirror eyeing me with his gorgeous eyes.  
  
"So Hannah" Jack begins, "tell Samantha what you told me over the phone the other day."  
  
"Oh yeah" her eyes light up as she turns towards me. "I had this dream where you were having a baby."  
  
"You what?" My eyes widen as my jaw drops to the floor.  
  
"I had a dream where."  
  
"I caught that" I answer. I glance towards Jack and he laughs in amusement.  
  
"She's quite the imaginative one, isn't she?" He counters.  
  
"Extremely" I answer although wondering if she overheard her parents discussing the situation. It's possible she's incredibly bright too, I realize.  
  
We pull into the parking space and make our way up to Jack's apartment. "Will you play a game with us Samantha?"  
  
"What did you have in mind?" I question glancing towards Jack as he unlocks the door and we make our way inside.  
  
"I've got jenga, clue."  
  
"Jenga!" Kate exclaims with a smile.  
  
"It's the only game she can play without being on teams" Hannah explains to me, as I shut the door and lock it behind us.  
  
Jack pulls out jenga, placing it on the coffee table for everyone to sit around. His girls sit to the left and right of him around the table and I take a seat across from him.  
  
Once we play a few rounds, Jack pulls out clue and we decide to pair up on teams, Jack & Kate then Hannah & me.  
  
As the game plays on, Kate falls asleep in Jack's lap, her breathing heavy and sound. "I should go put her into bed." He tucks his slip of paper with the answers he has for the game into his shirt pocket before lifting Kate up into his arms.  
  
"You got her ok?" I question.  
  
"Yeah. If I can carry you I think I can carry Kate" he laughs.  
  
Hannah eyes us both suspiciously. When Jack slips out of the room she comes right out with it, "do you love my dad?" 


	21. Chapter 21

"You got her ok?" I question.  
  
"Yeah. If I can carry you I think I can carry Kate" he laughs.  
  
Hannah eyes us both suspiciously. When Jack slips out of the room she comes right out with it, "do you love my dad?"  
  
***********  
  
"Yes very much." I answer.  
  
"What was he referring to earlier?"  
  
"A few months ago I was shot on duty" I tell her, lifting the sweatpants leg to show her my scar. She winces when she sees the mark burned into my skin, "you're dad is a real hero" I tell her.  
  
"I know" she nods glancing up to see him coming back in quietly while I'm lowering my pants leg.  
  
"Don't tell me you showed her your scar" Jack eyes me.  
  
"It was cool" Hannah answers, protecting me from getting into trouble. "Besides I wouldn't have believed her otherwise." She counters.  
  
"You know it's almost your bedtime" Jack reminds her.  
  
"Awww dad come on, I never get to see you" she whines. "You get to see Samantha all the time at work."  
  
"It's not about the two of us. It's about you getting enough sleep. You can stay up five for minutes, but then it's right into bed. You know it's already past your bedtime."  
  
"I know" she nods. "I'm tired of playing anyways."  
  
"That's because you can't believe I beat the two of you."  
  
"In your dreams dad" Hannah answers.  
  
"Yeah in your dreams" I chide.  
  
"Hey what's with you two ganging up on me?" His eyes glance suspiciously towards Hannah and then towards me.  
  
"It's because we love you dad" Hannah responds, moving towards Jack to envelope him with a hug.  
  
"Alright it's bedtime." Jack warns her.  
  
"If you can carry Samantha you can carry me." Hannah quips. Jack eyes me and I shrug innocence. "I want Samantha to tuck me in too." She tells us as he lifts her up into his arms.  
  
I follow them into the spare bedroom, noticing Kate already asleep in one twin bed and Hannah being placed in the other. Jack bends down, giving her a hug and kiss goodnight. "Come here" she whispers towards me. I head over towards her bed, taking a seat on the corner.  
  
"It's bedtime" I remind her.  
  
"I know. Bye Dad" she smiles waving him to leave.  
  
"It's late" Jack reminds Hannah then he looks towards me. "Don't let her talk you into staying up any later. I'm going to go get changed" he heads out of the room.  
  
Hannah lies back in bed watching me.  
  
"My dad seems really happy now." She tells me soundly. "You won't hurt him, will you?"  
  
"Of course not" I answer, taking her hand in mine. "He's a good man" I remind her, "and I love him very much."  
  
"Mom still doesn't like you" she points out with a sigh.  
  
"We'll have to work on that" I tell her. "You like me though, right?" I question with a smile.  
  
"Yeah. My dad's your hero" she whispers out, "and you're mine." I feel my heart pitter-patter at her words.  
  
"Awww get some sleep Hannah" I tell her. She reaches towards me for a hug and I give her one. "Goodnight." I remind her, letting her know it's really bedtime.  
  
"Night" she answers and I stand up making my way out of her room and seeing Jack standing in the hallway.  
  
He shuts their bedroom door most of the way then takes my hand in his. "You'll make a good mom" he whispers into my ear.  
  
"I hope so" I answer. I follow Jack into the bedroom and take a seat on the bed. "After tonight" I whisper out, with a tired sigh, "I think I might want to be the one to stay at home with the baby."  
  
"Awww" Jack responds "that would be the stereotypical and easy way out."  
  
"Being a mom isn't all that easy" I remind him.  
  
"Yeah but I wanted that job. Well the stay-at-home father role" he points out.  
  
I laugh softly lying back against the pillows. "We still have some time to work it all out."  
  
"Maybe if we win the lottery" Jack suggests, "then we both could stay home."  
  
"Wouldn't that be the life?" I tease. "Although I think I'd miss the cases, well some of them." I remark.  
  
"I can't see me missing any of it right now."  
  
"That's because you've been stressed out lately" I remind him, moving my hand along his chest to touch him.  
  
"Yeah" he lets out a sigh and shuts his eyes. "I take it tonight went better then you anticipated?"  
  
"Oh yeah" I nod with a smile, curling into his warm body for comfort. "Although there's still plenty of time to screw things up" I laugh softly shutting my eyes for a moment then opening them again. "How do you think Hannah knew about the pregnancy? Do you think she overheard you and Marie?"  
  
"I never spoke about it while Hannah was home and I doubt Marie told her. Maybe she's perceptive."  
  
"How long should we wait to tell the girls?" My eyes meet his.  
  
"I don't know. I was worried how Hannah would handle it but she seems to be taking all of this really well."  
  
"So you're concerned about Kate then?"  
  
"Yeah" Jack nods, rolling on his side to face me. He drapes his arm around my back, holding me close. "She's always been the baby in the family." His voice is soft and I move my lips to his, pressing a soft kiss against his mouth.  
  
"There's going to be another baby soon" I remind him. "She'll be ok" I reassure him.  
  
"And if she's not?"  
  
"How was Hannah?" I question, feeling Jack's fingers move up my neck and into my hair.  
  
"She didn't take it lightly but she was the only child" he remembers. "Maybe you're right, Kate will understand."  
  
"We'll just have to remind them that we love them all the same" I point out. "I think that's going to be the biggest concern."  
  
"You're right" he lets out a sigh. "Although" he rolls closer against me, nudging me onto my back, with his body slightly covering mine. "If I stay at home and watch the kids" he presses a kiss to my lips, moving his mouth down and over my neck as he continues talking, "they'll know they're still loved and they'll be happy to come home at the end of the day."  
  
"Yes," I moan out softly, forgetting what he's even saying, as my eyes close and I enjoy the blissful attention he laps at my body.  
  
"Sam" his voice is heavy and thick as his lips move to my ear, "You're so gorgeous" he tells me, fingering the hair back and away out of my face.  
  
"Shouldn't we lock the door?" I question, feeling a slight bit of reality poking in at my brain.  
  
"I already did" he answers, roaming his hands down my body, as his kisses splatter across my stomach.  
  
"You planned all this?" My voice catches in my throat, surprised to see we'd be doing anything sexual with his two children next door.  
  
"I promised to show you what married life would be like with me" his mouth grazes mine as I feel his body hover above my own.  
  
"Jack" I whisper out, my breathing growing thick as I feel the heat in the room building. My hands tug at his shirt, pulling it over his head as my nails scrape along his chest.  
  
He leans down, showering me with kisses as I slide my shirt over my head tossing it to the floor. His mouth takes hold of my body, savoring every inch as he works his way down.  
  
"Daddy" we hear Kate's sleepy voice as she knocks against the wooden door.  
  
"Just a second" he calls back, relaxing against my body.  
  
I reach down for my top, slipping it over my head while Jack grabs his and does the same. He heads for the door, opening it to see Kate hugging her teddy bear. 


	22. Chapter 22

"Daddy" we hear Kate's sleepy voice as she knocks against the wooden door.  
  
"Just a second" he calls back, relaxing against my body.  
  
I reach down for my top, slipping it over my head while Jack grabs his and does the same. He heads for the door, opening it to see Kate hugging her teddy bear.  
  
******  
  
"I had a nightmare daddy" her bright red tearful eyes make my heart ache as he lifts her into his arms bringing her down onto the bed to lay with us.  
  
"What was it about?" I question, watching as Jack lies down with Kate between us.  
  
Kate rolls onto her stomach, her head facing Jack. She's quiet as he watches her face, running his hand softly along her back to calm her. "Why don't you tell me about your dream." Jack suggests.  
  
Kate shifts on the bed and I suddenly wonder if it involves me. "I'm going to grab a snack before bed." I suggest, standing up and making my way towards the door. I smile softly towards Jack before closing the door most of the way, to allow Kate to tell him what's bothering her.  
  
After eating a snack, I quietly make my way towards the bedroom, careful not to awaken Hannah. I head towards the partially opened bedroom door, glancing in to see Jack lying against the pillows with Kate in his arms crying.  
  
"Kate you know I still and always will love you. We talked about this before" he reminds her softly.  
  
"I know" she sobs out, rubbing her face into his chest, her wet eyes soaking into his shirt.  
  
"Samantha" I hear Jack's voice on the other side of the wall.  
  
I wait a moment before making my way inside, trying not to appear as though I was just outside the door.  
  
"Would you mind calling Marie?" Jack questions.  
  
"No daddy" Kate whines out shaking her head. "I want to stay here with you this weekend."  
  
"Well Sam's going to be here too, can you handle that?"  
  
She nods softly, wiping her eyes. Jack moves to stand up, taking her in his arms and carrying her back into her bedroom. I slip into bed, shutting off the light and waiting for Jack to come back in the room. I close my eyes after a few minutes, and feel myself drifting off into a light slumber.  
  
"Sam" Jack's voice echoes in the room as I feel the bed dip down and his body slide beside mine.  
  
I roll over to face him. "Was everything ok?"  
  
"Yeah it's just hard for her" he answers. "She doesn't see us fight and so she's confused. She thinks I love you more then her. She doesn't understand that it's a different kind of love and things aren't supposed to be the way they were" he lets out a frustrated sigh.  
  
"She'll be fine" I run my hand along Jack's face, and into his hair. "I love you so much" I breathe out. My eyes slip closed as I feel his arm hold me tight against him.  
  
"I love you too" he answers, pressing a final kiss to my lips before drifting off to sleep.  
  
I hear the door open and shut and roll around to feel Jack's frame beside me. My eyes lazily open, allowing the morning light to shine in as I hear two bodies pattering inside the bedroom. "Daddy" I hear Kate's voice followed by Hannah's.  
  
"Dad" her voice is a little more insistent.  
  
Jack rolls beneath the sheets, his body turning to face the girls as his eyes crack open before shutting. "I thought we decided you weren't going to wake dad up anymore?" His voice is thick with sleep.  
  
"That's what you decided" Hannah points out.  
  
"We're hungry" Kate's small voice adds as I feel the bed shift from their bodies leaning against the mattress and trying to pull Jack out of bed.  
  
"Hannah can fix you some cereal until Sam and I get up."  
  
"I want you get to up" Hannah whines in response. I sit up, glancing down at Jack who has his eyes shut, even though he's been talking to the girls.  
  
"I'll handle breakfast" I offer, stepping out of bed and pressing a soft kiss to Jack's head. "Let your dad sleep" I tell them, as we sneak out of the bedroom quietly.  
  
"Thanks Samantha" Kate tells me, taking my hand and holding on as we head into the kitchen.  
  
"What are you hungry for?" I question.  
  
"Ice cream" Kate exclaims with a smile.  
  
"Maybe later" I laugh softly. I open the pantry glancing through to see what there is to make. "Do you girls want pancakes?"  
  
Hannah's eyes light up, "can you put strawberries in them?"  
  
"And chocolate chips" Kate adds with an even wider grin.  
  
"Do we have both?"  
  
"Yeah" Kate grabs some strawberries from the fridge and points up high towards the cabinet, "in there" her fingers exclaim.  
  
I open the door, glancing through the assortment of cooking products and notice a bag of mini chocolate chips.  
  
In no time I have breakfast on the table for the girls and they both sit down to eat.  
  
I feel arms wrap around my waist and Jack's warm body holding me close. "Smells good" he whispers into my ear.  
  
"Thank you" I answer. "Yours will be ready soon. I hope you can handle strawberry chocolate chip pancakes."  
  
"Hannah, Kate" His eyes glance from one to the other as they start giggling profusely. I finish up on the stove, dishing the rest and placing it onto the table. "You two know the rules" Jack reminds them. "Hannah gets the kind she wants one weekend, and Kate the next. You both shouldn't be trying to take advantage of Sam."  
  
"We're sorry" Hannah answers. Her eyes meet mine and somehow I know it won't be any different the next time.  
  
"Apology accepted" I answer glancing towards Jack. "It wasn't that big of a deal" I point out.  
  
"They need to know they can't take advantage of you Sam. They've been pulling this stuff lately between Marie and myself."  
  
"Oh." I answer not sure what to say. Is he talking about when they were married or divorced? I guess it really doesn't matter.  
  
When breakfast is finished, the girls help clear the table and Jack loads everything into the dishwasher. I head into the bedroom, pulling out some clothes and make my way into the bathroom to shower.  
  
I lock the door, not wanting any unexpected visitors before running the tap. I hear Jack's footsteps into the bedroom as I pull back the shower curtain, testing the water before getting in.  
  
"Sam."  
  
"Yeah?" I open the door slightly, jarring my head out.  
  
"The girls are watching cartoons. Mind if I join you?" His eyes glimmer and his lips form upwards in a smile.  
  
"Come on" I respond, opening the door to let him inside. My hands move to his waist, tugging his shirt over his head and then helping him remove his pants as well.  
  
We head beneath the spray, feeling the water cascade down our bodies as his hands run sudsy circles over my skin.  
  
"You look really sexy when you're wet" Jack's voice is a whisper above the loud spray and I feel my smile widen.  
  
"You don't look so bad yourself." I quip, running my hand through his hair, and then my lips to his.  
  
His mouth melts against mine, the warmth from the shower only adding to the heat between our bodies.  
  
"Promise me" his head rests against mine, "that we'll grow old together."  
  
"Jack" I breathe out, feeling my stomach flutter.  
  
His lips meet mine again, not taking 'no' for an answer. His body pushes my back against the tile, his hands resting against the wall, trapping me with kisses. I feel my knees growing weak and the room starting to spin. My stomach grows nauseated as the heat in the shower only adds to the sickening feeling.  
  
"Jack" I groan out, pushing him back but feeling my legs grow wobbly. His arm snakes down to my waist, helping me balance as my hand rests against his chest. My vision grows dark for an instant, as I try and take in even breaths of air.  
  
"Samantha talk to me" his voice holds concern and in the darkness I feel him lift me into his arms and lie me down on the bed. 


	23. Chapter 23

"Samantha talk to me" his voice holds concern and in the darkness I feel him lift me into his arms and lie me down on the bed.  
  
******  
  
"Jack" I whisper out, feeling tears threatening my eyes. "I don't feel good" I breathe out, my naked body shivering. He pulls the blankets over my skin, keeping me warm. "Can you get me some water?"  
  
"Sure" he heads into the bathroom, wrapping a towel around his waist and filling a glass of water. "Here" he offers, helping me sit up to drink form the glass. "What happened?" His eyes hold a look of concern as I take in a sip and hand it back to him.  
  
"I'm ok" I reassure him, "just tired."  
  
"Samantha" he takes a seat on the bed, "I'm concerned about you."  
  
"It was just fatigue. It's common in pregnancies."  
  
"I've seen you tired Sam that's not what happens."  
  
"It was really stuffy in there" I breathe out, closing my eyes for a moment then opening them again, "and then the way you started talking, it freaked me out."  
  
"A panic attack?" His voice holds more concern now then before.  
  
"Maybe" I answer, "I had the same problem back in college. Past out once or twice from it" I answer, rolling between the covers with shuteyes.  
  
"Samantha I'm going to call the doctor."  
  
"No Jack" I shake my head. "It's nothing."  
  
"You're passing out isn't nothing. You're pregnant" he reminds me.  
  
"I know" I sigh out. "It's just when things upset me my blood pressure drops. At least it use to."  
  
"I upset you?" He lets out a sigh.  
  
"Jack don't" I tell him, not wanting him to look any deeper in what I said. "I love you" I whisper out, curling deeper within the sheets before falling asleep.  
  
My eyes lazily open, glancing around the room remembering what happened. Was it truly my fear of spending the rest of my life with Jack that caused me to nearly pass out? I let out a breath, shifting between the sheets, feeling a shirt on my body. I must have really been out when he buttoned it. Maybe it's the pregnancy that's triggering this reaction. Either way it's too exhausting to do much else. I lie between the sheets, too tired to call Jack in and tell him I'm awake.  
  
I let out another breath, closing my eyes for a few minutes replaying the scene over in my head. He was kissing me, my back up against the cold tile of the bathroom. His arms trapped me as my breathing quickened and I feel my heart racing again. Was it the feeling of having no escape that's bothering me? That combined with his words only spurred things worse. I let out a groan, wishing I could go back and.no I wouldn't want to change all this. I love Jack, and I want to have his baby, it's just so much to take in at once.  
  
"Hey Sam" my eyes glance towards the door seeing him peek his head into the room and then head towards the bed. "How are you feeling? Any better?"  
  
"Yeah thanks."  
  
"You gave me quite a scare earlier."  
  
"I know, me too," I respond.  
  
"Listen I called the doctor."  
  
"Jack" I interrupt him.  
  
"We have an appointment for Monday morning."  
  
"What about work?" I remind him.  
  
"I don't think it's wise that you go in under this condition anyhow." I let out a frustrated sigh. "Samantha think about it. I'm only wanting to look after what's best for you."  
  
"I know. Thank you." I answer.  
  
He presses a kiss to my forehead. "You're not clammy anymore."  
  
"Yeah I feel better. Just exhausted. How are the girls?"  
  
"They're fine." He takes a seat beside me on the bed, running his hand through my hair. "If there's anything that's upsetting you."  
  
"Jack it's not like that" I answer. "I do love you, you know that, right?"  
  
"Yes" he nods softly, his eyes telling me he's hurting inside. Is it because of what happened to me today or does he not believe I love him?  
  
"I'm just afraid to get married" I tell him. "Whenever you bring it up it freaks me out."  
  
"Why?" His hand continues running through my hair to calm me.  
  
"Because my last marriage was a failure Jack. I might have been 18 but I'm hardly any different now then I was then."  
  
"That's not true."  
  
"I thought I was in love then and it turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life." His hand stops moving as he stares at me, his eyes boring into me.  
  
"Samantha don't tell me that's what you believe. That everything we did and have is a mistake."  
  
"No" I shake my head, "I'm just worried." I let out a sigh, "Jack when I was married I had no strings attached so to speak, now it's different." I wave towards my abdomen.  
  
"You're right Sam it is different. I love you. Baby or not I'd still want to marry you. If you're not ready for that now then I can wait, I just want our child to be living in a happy two parent family."  
  
"So I have seven months to make the decision?"  
  
"Almost six" he bites down on his lips, shutting up. "Well if it's slightly after that it would be alright, but I want to spend eternity with you Samantha. I love you." He presses a kiss to my forehead.  
  
"And work?"  
  
"If you want to continue after the baby is born then I'll stay at home. Otherwise if you'd rather stay home for the first few years." He reminds me.  
  
"What about now?"  
  
"We're going to have to tell Paula. She's going to need to know why we're both not there Monday morning. Besides she'll catch on when you're showing" he points out.  
  
"If I'm going to take a leave of absence, then why don't I go to the doctors alone? We can wait to tell Van Doren that you're the father." I point out.  
  
"You don't want her to know?"  
  
"It's not that Jack." I let out a soft sigh.  
  
"It doesn't matter, you can't drive yourself there" he points out. "Not after what happened today. I'll take you in and then we'll stop over at work to explain things. She'll understand." He tells me.  
  
"I'm doubting it." I answer half under my breath.  
  
"Sam" his voice is gentle coming off his lips.  
  
"Fine" I quip, "but you're telling her."  
  
He lets out a soft laugh as I hear two sets of knocks on the door. "Can we come in daddy?" Kate questions and I glance over to see Hannah following behind her.  
  
"Can we come up?" Hannah glances towards me. I sit up, feeling mostly better with a soft breath.  
  
"Sure" I answer with a half smile, watching as both girls jump on the bed, sitting as close as they can to Jack.  
  
"Daddy can we go get ice cream?" Kate's eyes shine as Jack lets out a soft laugh.  
  
"I don't want to leave Sam here alone girls. I told you this morning what happened."  
  
"She looks fine now" Hannah points out. The girls both exchange glances before Kate pulls on Jack's hand and stands up, trying to pull him with her.  
  
"Please daddy" she begs him.  
  
"Why don't you take them to the park" I suggest. "On the way home you can get them ice cream. I'm doing better."  
  
"You going to come with us?" Jack questions.  
  
"Probably not. I'm just going to lay around here and watch some tv. Go spend some time with your girls. How often do you get to see them?" I remind him.  
  
"Samantha" he lets out a breath and a soft sigh, contemplating what to do.  
  
"I'll be fine. If I need anything, bring your cell phone." I reassure him.  
  
Jack leans down, pressing a soft brief kiss to my lips. "Ewww" Hannah comments, her face scrunched up with a look of disgust. Jack's hand moves down and across my abdomen softly.  
  
"Are you sure?" He questions, subtly reminding me about the small life growing within.  
  
"Positive" my eyes reassure him as he nods and runs his hand through my hair.  
  
"Is there anything you want me to do before I leave? How about some lunch?"  
  
"I can get it."  
  
"I don't want you running around. You need your rest." His eyes meet mine, "when I leave I hope you're not going to be running around."  
  
"I won't" I remind him, "I'm still not feeling quite myself."  
  
He nods in understanding as I hear both girls heading out of the bedroom.  
  
"Are you coming daddy?" Kate questions.  
  
"In a minute sweetheart." He answers her. I feel my stomach tighten at the name he calls her. The same name he whispered down to me while in the bookstore on that one particular day several months ago. Jack's eyes bore into mine, "I'm going to make you some lunch and then I'll go out with the girls. We won't stay out too long."  
  
"Alright."  
  
Jack heads out of the bedroom and in no time he's back with some food. Once I finish eating, he gives me a sweet kiss and takes the dishes into the kitchen to clean up. I roll between the covers, closing my eyes to take another nap. 


	24. Chapter 24

Jack heads out of the bedroom and in no time he's back with some food. Once I finish eating, he gives me a sweet kiss and takes the dishes into the kitchen to clean up. I roll between the covers, closing my eyes to take another nap.  
  
******  
  
I hear the door creak open and I squint my eyes, feeling sated with sleep. "Samantha?" I hear Hannah's soft words.  
  
"Yeah?" My eyes open surprised she's come in, and not Jack.  
  
"Sorry I woke you" she tells me quietly as she approaches the bed.  
  
"It's alright. What's on your mind?" I question.  
  
She takes a seat on the edge of the bed, "I had another dream last night and then noticed my dad's hand on your stomach" she takes a short breath, gaining the courage to ask me what's been on her mind. "You're pregnant, aren't you?"  
  
"Hannah" my mouth parts, finding the air escape from my lungs. If I lie to her, she's going to find out soon enough. "Yes" I answer.  
  
"Why didn't you tell Kate and me sooner?"  
  
"We were waiting for the right time." I respond.  
  
She rolls her eyes and lets out a frustrated sigh. "Who will the baby live with?" Her eyes glare at me accusingly.  
  
"Both of us" I answer.  
  
Hannah continues to stare at me, taking in my words. "You're going to marry my dad then?"  
  
"One day" I whisper out, not quite sure when I'll feel ready and up for the challenge. "I want you and Kate to be happy when I do though" I tell her. She glances away with tears in her eyes, wiping away the pain.  
  
"That'll never happen" she breathes out in a harsh whisper, darting out of the room.  
  
I hear heavy footsteps coming down the hall as Jack glances into the bedroom. "What was all that about?"  
  
"She knows about the baby" I tell him. "I couldn't lie to her Jack. She'll only grow to hate me more."  
  
Jack takes a seat on the edge of the bed. "She doesn't hate you, I think it's just hard for her."  
  
"She asked me if I was going to marry you."  
  
"What'd you tell her?" He takes my hand in his.  
  
"I wanted her to be able to accept me when I did" I whisper out. "She told me it wouldn't happen and she ran out crying." I let out a sigh, "I thought yesterday went well and she liked me. Was it just a game?" I lie back against the pillows, feeling Jack's body beside mine.  
  
"I don't think she knows entirely how to feel at this point about it."  
  
"I know she needs time" I whisper in a hush. "I just wish there was something I could do." I let out a soft breath.  
  
"Sam I think she's just afraid" he tells me, running his fingers along my arm soothingly. "I think she's worried about the reality of the situation. Yesterday it was fine because I don't think she realized you'd be sticking around. Today it hit her."  
  
"I don't know" I breathe out, "maybe it would be better if I went home." I tell him. "It would give you and the girls some time to figure things out."  
  
"No" he shakes his head. "Besides I was thinking things through and you should move in with me."  
  
"What?"  
  
"We should be saving money" he points out, "if only one of us will be working when the baby comes."  
  
"Jack that's not a reason for me to move in with you" I remind him with a soft laugh.  
  
"What if I told you I wanted you here. I love spending time with you." He moves his lips softly across mine. "Besides wouldn't it calm your nerves about marriage?"  
  
"Jack" I whisper out.  
  
"I'm serious, I think it would be a good decision for us and more importantly I love you."  
  
"What about the girls?"  
  
"They'll handle it" he answers. "Besides this way you can take as long as you need for deciding when you're ready to accept my marriage proposal." I let out a soft laugh. "You'll see how good we really are together."  
  
"Jack if I move in with you, work is going to."  
  
"We'll talk to Van Doren" he reminds me. "I think I know a way to make this all work." His lips tease mine as I feel his hands drifting down my chest.  
  
"You're going to try and convince me with sex?" I question, my eyes raised in amusement. His tongue dips into my navel as I feel his hands brushing against my sides.  
  
"On the contrary. I think you should rest." He tells me.  
  
"So that's what you're trying to do?" I tease, "put me to bed?"  
  
"Essentially" he answers with a smirk. I hear the door slam from the girl's bedroom and Jack rolls his eyes with a sigh. "I'll be back" he tells me, pressing a kiss to my lips before leaving the room.  
  
"HANNAH!" I hear his voice bellowing from the bedroom as a shiver runs down my spine. He slams the door and the walls shake.  
  
I watch as Kate slips into our bedroom, "can I keep you company?" Her eyes hold concern and fear.  
  
"Sure."  
  
She moves to sit beside me on the bed. "Are you feeling better?" She moves her hand to my forehead, checking my temperature.  
  
"Yes" I smile in response and she glances towards the door with wide eyes as Jack comes in.  
  
"Kate will you go watch tv in the living room? I need to talk to Samantha in private."  
  
"Alright." She slips off the bed, pattering away. 


	25. Chapter 25

"Kate will you go watch tv in the living room? I need to talk to Samantha in private."  
  
"Alright." She slips off the bed, pattering away.  
  
*****  
  
"What happened?" I question, watching as he shuts the bedroom door and moves towards the edge of the bed.  
  
"Hannah" he pauses, his face red with anger. He lets out a sigh, catching his breath.  
  
"What did she do?"  
  
"I bought something for you" he tells me, "I put it away in a drawer and she apparently found it."  
  
"So?"  
  
"She got mad when she saw it Sam, flushed it down the toilet."  
  
"What are you talking about?" I question.  
  
"An engagement ring Sam, yours." He shuts his eyes and my hand moves to his.  
  
"Jack you didn't have to."  
  
"I know, and now I can't even give it to you. Besides the fact it wasn't cheap." I squeeze his hand affectionately.  
  
"I love you Jack, nothing will change that. Even if Hannah's misbehaving, it won't change how I feel about you."  
  
"I know but."  
  
"Jack shhh" I tell him, moving my finger to his lips. "She'll grow up" I remind him.  
  
"She needs to be punished."  
  
"I agree. What's that mean, no tv? No phone?" I question.  
  
"I was thinking more along the lines of a child psychiatrist."  
  
"Do you prescribe that for everyone?"  
  
"If it helps" he answers.  
  
"Did it help you?" I question, knowing Marie and Jack tried marriage counseling before their divorce.  
  
"Nope, but you should be glad." He points out.  
  
"Ahhh yeah well maybe then you would have learned to put the toilet seat down" I tease.  
  
He moves closer, his lips lingering closer to mine, "you sure have a mouth on you."  
  
"I learn from the best" I remind him, taking my hand and guiding his mouth to mine. I keep him close, as my hands roam down his back. Our lips fuse with fury as he guides me onto my back, his body hovering over me.  
  
"You're beautiful" he whispers down to me. I feel my face flushed from his kisses and my lips shine in a smile.  
  
"You're trying to get lucky."  
  
"Is it working?" He teases, his tongue moving towards the lobe of my ear.  
  
"Mmmaybe" I sigh out. "Jack your kids are in the other room" I remind him.  
  
"More reason to be quiet" he answers, pressing soft kisses down my neck.  
  
"Come on" I slowly push him away, "I promise I'll make it up to you, during the week."  
  
"So you're moving in with me?" He questions.  
  
"Jack."  
  
"Samantha" he replies in a teasing voice.  
  
I bite down on my lower lip. "I want to" I answer, "I just like having my own place to go home to when I want to be alone. Please don't take that the wrong way Jack."  
  
"You'll have our home to look forward to coming home too, and our family." I feel my heart ache.  
  
"Alright."  
  
"Just alright?" He eyes me. "I don't want you doing this to make me happy."  
  
"I'm not." I answer with a smile, "I'm doing this to make me happy." I pull him in for a hug, "I love you so much."  
  
"I love you too" his lips brush against mine. "You ready to come out into the living room?"  
  
"Yeah." I move the covers from my body. "Can you get me my sweatpants?"  
  
"I think you look sexier like this."  
  
"Jack" my eyes widen in amusement.  
  
"Alright" he hands me my worn clothes and helps me slip them on. He gives me his hand, helping me up and walking with me to the sofa.  
  
"Hey Kate, what are you watching?" I question, taking a seat on the other side of the sofa and Jack sits between us. He slips his arm around the back of the sofa, keeping me within his reach.  
  
"Cartoons." She answers. "When can Hannah come out of her room?" Kate questions.  
  
"When she stops throwing a temper tantrum" Jack answers. "She knows the rules."  
  
"It's because of the ring, isn't it?"  
  
"Yes" he nods.  
  
"I'm sorry" she tells Jack. "It's my fault, I found it."  
  
"You didn't flush it, did you?" Jack questions.  
  
"No I was playing with my Barbie's."  
  
"Ok then" Jack nods in acceptance, "you're not grounded. Next time no snooping though" he eyes her seriously. Kate nods in agreement. 


	26. Chapter 26

As Monday arrives, I feel my stomach flutter with nervousness about having to tell Van Doren of the pregnancy. "Ready?" Jack questions, taking my hand and ushering me to his car. We make our way to the doctors and I get a short lecture about taking care of myself and being careful not to pass out again. I'm told to eat some salty foods to elevate my blood pressure, and to drink plenty of water. If the problem arises again to contact her.  
  
Jack parks the car in the garage and I let out a soft breath as we make our way towards the elevator. "What do you thinks going to happen?" I bite down on my lower lip.  
  
"Does it matter?" He reminds me.  
  
"I guess not" I answer. The doors open and Jack begins to follow me towards Van Doren's office. "Can I speak with her alone?" I question.  
  
"Sure" he nods, and heads toward his office while I make my way to Van Doren's.  
  
"Hi Samantha" she nods as she sees me enter her doors. "Take a seat."  
  
"Thanks for seeing me."  
  
"I'm surprised Jack's not here with you" she shakes her head dismissing her own comment. "What can I help you with?"  
  
"I'm pregnant." I answer.  
  
Her eyes widen in surprise. "Well that's certainly an issue given your job description."  
  
"I'm aware."  
  
"When are you due?"  
  
"Not for another six months" I answer. "I plan on working up until then."  
  
"You're aware I can't have you going into the field knowing."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"I'll leave it to Jack to determine you're role. I'm assuming he knows about the pregnancy?"  
  
"Yes" I nod, not telling her it's his.  
  
"Would you mind sending him in on your way out?"  
  
"Sure" I stand up, leaving her office and heading into Jack's.  
  
"She wants to speak with you."  
  
"You're joking?" Jack looks up from his paperwork. "How'd it go?"  
  
"Surprisingly well. She didn't say what she wanted. Probably to scold you on getting a fellow agent pregnant" I chuckle.  
  
"Wait here for me. You can look over our newest casefile in the meantime." Jack hands me the file while he heads towards her office.  
  
I look down at the description, a twenty year old college student hasn't been in contact with her parents in over two months. "How's this a case?" I question to myself.  
  
"Where's Jack?" I hear Danny's voice approaching.  
  
"With Van Doren. He told me to wait here."  
  
"What'd you do?" He eyes me suspiciously.  
  
"I'm looking over our latest casefile. A missing college student. The parents called the police after not hearing from their daughter. They went to her dorm room and her roommate hadn't seen the girl either. So it looks like it's our case." I tell him.  
  
"Two months? I take it she wasn't going to her classes then either."  
  
"My guess" I answer, "she was partying with some guys maybe it got out of hand. Maybe she got pregnant?"  
  
"Wouldn't that be interesting" Jack enters through the doorway hearing our conversation. "Danny would you mind giving me a minute to speak with Samantha?"  
  
"No problem" he slips out of the office and shuts the door behind him.  
  
"Paula's willing to overlook what's going on between us as long as it doesn't interfere with our work. She also mentioned that if there's another OPR investigation she's not getting involved. In other words we need to be very careful."  
  
"What about me moving in with you?" I question. "Won't that raise suspicions if someone from the office tries to stop by where I live?"  
  
"Who's going to come by?"  
  
"I don't know" I shrug. "Danny and Martin both know where I live. They've stopped by before."  
  
"Work related?" Jack questions.  
  
"Danny yeah but also as a friend."  
  
"When?" Jack presses.  
  
"Why? What does it matter?" I question.  
  
"Alright why did Martin stop by?"  
  
"He dropped me off after drinks." Jack lets out a soft laugh.  
  
"You realize he's going to be devastated when he finds out your pregnant with my kid."  
  
"What?" I question.  
  
"He's head over heels for you Sam."  
  
"We're just friends." I answer with a laugh.  
  
"Maybe I should remind him of that."  
  
"Jack!" I warn him. "We have a case to look into." I point out, handing him the folder.  
  
"Yes we do" he nods, taking the folder from my hands and opening it up. We walk towards the others and take a seat at the conference table. "Emily Richards, a twenty year old college student went missing sometime within the past two months. The parents called her disappearance in to the local police after not being able to get in touch with her for quite some time."  
  
"Was she a transfer student?"  
  
"No she's a junior and has been there all three years. She's got a 3.5 GPA and from what we know a boyfriend."  
  
"Could she be with her boyfriend?" I question.  
  
"No one knows who this mystery man is" Jack continues, "the parents weren't aware a guy was involved in the picture and the roommate claims that's where she's been every night for the past month and a half."  
  
"Could she have been mixed up in alcohol, possibly drugs?" Danny questions.  
  
"Definitely something worth looking into. Martin I want you to find out from her teachers when was the last time she attended class. Find out if she sat next to anyone, the smallest detail could potentially be the most significant. Danny I want you to head down to Greek Row and see if there's anything there. Vivian try the local bars, there's quite a few since it's a college town. Sam you're coming with me to speak to her roommate and anyone else on the floor."  
  
We all split up on our assignments, with Jack and I paired together. I give him a peculiar look as I grab the file.  
  
"What?" He questions, knowing something's running through my mind and it was only a matter of seconds before I told him anyhow.  
  
"You're not putting me behind a desk?" My lips form in an upward smile.  
  
"I figure at this point it's a safe assignment. When things progress forward and we have a suspect, I might decide otherwise."  
  
"Jack" I whine out.  
  
"Van Doren left it up to my judgement." He reminds me.  
  
"I'm not sure if that was better or worse then what she might have advised."  
  
"Sam I'm just trying to look out for what's best for you."  
  
"I know" I nod my head, as we head down to his car and out towards the university.  
  
We flash our ID's and are escorted from campus police to the residence halls. We knock on Emily Richards and Denise Larson's door. I can hear footsteps approaching and from beneath the door can see a shadow watching us. "Just a second" I hear the girl's young voice scurrying around her room, and turning up music as she moves to open the door. "Can I help you?"  
  
"We're with the FBI. Agents Spade & Malone" Jack introduces us. "Can we come in? We're here about your roommate Emily."  
  
"My room is really stuffy. How about the lounge?" She suggests slipping out of her room and shutting her door briskly. I glance towards Jack, knowing there's something going on.  
  
We follow Denise to the lounge and take a seat across from her.  
  
"When was the last time you saw your roommate Emily?" I question.  
  
"Almost two months ago. She's probably at her boyfriend's house. I don't see what all the commotion's been about lately."  
  
"Does her boyfriend have a name?" Jack inquires.  
  
"Yeah but I don't know it." She smirks in amusement. "Anything else?"  
  
"Did Emily normally stay over her boyfriends?"  
  
"Yes all the time. I think she spent one night here all semester. They got into a fight and she came in around 3:30 in the morning."  
  
"When was this?" I question.  
  
"The last time I saw her actually."  
  
"Do you know what the fight was about?" Jack asks.  
  
"No she didn't say. She did have a bruise on her face though. Said she got it from being drunk one night and stupid. I kept my mouth shut but personally I think he was beating her."  
  
Jack eyes me and then Denise. "Would you mind if we took a look around your room?"  
  
"Actually I do. You don't have a search warrant do you?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Well then you answered your own question" she smirks again and stands up. "Now if you don't mind, I have some things to attend to."  
  
"If you hear from her or see her, please give us a call." I slip her my card.  
  
"Right." She answers.  
  
We head down the hall, seeking the Community Advisor's room to find out what she might know. Unfortunately she's not in her room, along with most of the residents on the floor.  
  
"Jack" I let out a sigh as we head out of the hall and towards the main foyer. I take a seat on the sofa, allowing myself a moment to figure things out. "Any chance the parents know any friends Emily might have hung out with?"  
  
"It didn't sound like she got out much. Although her parents didn't know about her boyfriend, I'm guessing there's a lot more they don't know as well."  
  
"How many twenty year olds tell their mother about their boyfriends?" I point out.  
  
"You'd be surprised what mothers and daughters talk about." I eye him curiously and he gives me his hand, helping me onto my feet as we head out of the lobby.  
  
"Where to?" I question.  
  
"Downstairs in the lobby. I want to call Viv, Danny, and Martin to see what they've got. I also want to find out what Denise is hiding in her room." 


	27. Chapter 27

"Where to?" I question.  
  
"Downstairs in the lobby. I want to call Viv, Danny, and Martin to see what they've got. I also want to find out what Denise is hiding in her room."  
  
********  
  
"We don't exactly have probable cause for a search warrant" I remind him. "I know the hall director has access to all the rooms, do you think we should make friends?" I tease.  
  
"Yeah why don't you do that. I'm going to hang out here and make some calls. I'll call you when I find something out."  
  
"Alright." I head towards the front desk, offering them my badge as I explain that I need to speak with the hall director. After standing around for twenty minutes I see a woman in heels approaching me.  
  
"Sorry it took so long. You must be Agent Spade" she offers me her hand. "I'm Jamie, what can I do for you?"  
  
"You've heard about Emily Richards disappearance. We'd like to search her room for any clues as to her whereabouts."  
  
"Is her roommate not cooperating?"  
  
"Correct."  
  
"I'm not sure exactly what I can do for you" she lets out a soft breath and waves for me to follow her into a small conference room.  
  
"Listen I don't really care what Denise is hiding in her room. Whether it's drugs or alcohol I'm willing to ignore it. We just want to find Emily."  
  
"I could get fired for this" Jamie lets out a sigh and opens the door. "Come on" she tells me, keying up to the ninth floor as we head back to Emily and Denise's room.  
  
"Denise" Jamie knocks several times on the door. The music is blaring and there's no response. "Denise it's Jamie, the hall director. I'm here with the FBI. Please open your door."  
  
With no response again she shrugs and slides the key into the slot. I have her back away from the door as I slip out my gun, prepared for any instance of action. I open the door, seeing no one in sight. I head towards the radio, turning off the music. I breathe in the air, smelling something musky and I can only hope it's not a decaying body.  
  
I notice the bed lofted three feet and peek my head under to see a cage with a bunny inside. "Hey there little fellow." Jamie glances down shaking her head.  
  
"That's worthy of a fine."  
  
"And you could get fired over giving her a what, $75 ticket?"  
  
"Twenty-five dollars" she answers. "I can't believe I'm letting it go unreported."  
  
"She's cute" I answer, moving my finger towards the cage. She backs away, afraid of the new intruder.  
  
"Shit" I hear Denise's voice as she stands in her doorway.  
  
"You can keep your rabbit here, if you help us out." I tell her.  
  
"Avery."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Her name is Avery." Denise repeats. "It's also one of the names of Emily's friends. She stopped by a week after Emily stayed the night here. She looked pretty upset when she wasn't around but didn't say anything else."  
  
"Avery have a last name?" I question.  
  
"Brooke."  
  
"Thanks" I scribble down the name and glance around the room for any other clues. I feel my cell phone pulsating and answer it. "Hello?"  
  
"Sam it's me."  
  
"Yeah I've got a name for one of Emily's friends, Avery Brooke."  
  
"I gathered that from Vivian and Danny. Apparently she's a party girl. Went to the bars and some frat parties."  
  
"When was she last seen?"  
  
"Six weeks ago. The night after she spent it back in her room. Apparently Avery took her to a few bars and then they caught a train downtown. That's all we've got so far."  
  
"It's a solid start" I remind him. "Do you have an address or phone number for Avery yet?"  
  
"No. Martin's looking into it though."  
  
I glance around the room as I continue my conversation with Jack. "Where are you?"  
  
"Getting in the elevator. Front desk gave me a key."  
  
"Don't be too long" I tell him, and hang up the phone.  
  
I sift through Emily's books and music. She doesn't have an enormous amount of her stuff in the room and what she does have is shoved into the closet.  
  
"Sam" I hear Jack's voice as he steps through the open door. "Find anything?"  
  
"A bunch of junk" I answer. "I'm not sure what to make of most of it."  
  
I open up her drawers, expecting to find clothes. Instead an array of handcuffs, whips, and other bondage material is in the drawer. "Jack?" He peers over my shoulder with a soft laugh.  
  
"I guess she wasn't so innocent."  
  
"That's not all" I point out, sliding my hand through the drawer finding a series of photographs. The first ones are of Emily in leather-clad underwear. I shuffle through them, stopping when I see her with who I assume to be her boyfriend. "Is this him?" I show the photo to Denise.  
  
"I never met her boyfriend" she tells me. "I would guess so."  
  
"So you don't know who snapped this photo then?"  
  
"No" she shakes her head. I continue fingering through the rest of the photos, stopping as my own question is answered. I see a picture of Emily with a long hair blonde. Both girls are in scantly clad underwear, showing off most of their skin.  
  
"Is this Avery?" I show her the picture of the two girls.  
  
"Yeah that was her."  
  
"Thanks" I take the pictures with us as we head out to the elevator and down to Jack's car.  
  
"What do you make of the photos?" Jack questions.  
  
"I'm thinking this girl has some secret life. Maybe she ran away to do pornography flicks" I grin at Jack and his lips form a small smile.  
  
"Wouldn't that be nice. At least we'd know she's alright. Then again" he shrugs off his own response as we slip into his car. "How about lunch?" He suggests.  
  
"Sounds good. Know of anything around here?"  
  
"Not really. Most of the local joints are pretty crummy. I guess college kids can't afford decent food."  
  
"Yeah I remember those days" I answer with a soft laugh. "I think I saw another town about seven or eight miles up the highway" I remind him. "I think we can probably find something there to eat." 


	28. Chapter 28

"Wouldn't that be nice. At least we'd know she's alright. Then again" he shrugs off his own response as we slip into his car. "How about lunch?" He suggests.  
  
"Sounds good. Know of anything around here?"  
  
"Not really. Most of the local joints are pretty crummy. I guess college kids can't afford decent food."  
  
"Yeah I remember those days" I answer with a soft laugh. "I think I saw another town about seven or eight miles up the highway" I remind him. "I think we can probably find something there to eat."  
  
***********  
  
We pull out and onto the road. Jack glances towards me several times.  
  
"What?" I question.  
  
"I'm just glad you seem to be looking and feeling better."  
  
"That's what Malone medicine does for you." I answer with a soft laugh. "Thanks for looking after me this weekend."  
  
"I'd have done more for you if you let me."  
  
"I know" my lips form in a smile, grateful we're together with no ultimate obstacles. "I think I figured out why Hannah's been acting out."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"She was alright Friday night because you gave her and Kate all the attention. Once I was sick and your attention was directed towards me she grew incredibly jealous, worried that you'd abandon her."  
  
"And where did you learn that?"  
  
"Psych 101" I answer with a laugh. "Am I right?"  
  
"You might be." He nods.  
  
"Speaking of psychology" I watch Jack with my eyes as he glances towards me while driving. "Remember the undercover case where we pretended to be married."  
  
"How could I forget?"  
  
"What was with you and switching sides of the bed? Tell me I'm completely crazy and imagined the whole scenario."  
  
He lets out a soft laugh eyeing me and he shuts his mouth.  
  
"Jack?" I question, waiting for his response.  
  
"Let's just say I wanted to keep things entirely platonic."  
  
"And how were you managing that? Shouldn't one of us have slept on the couch then?" I point out.  
  
"It goes back to Marie."  
  
"Oh." He's quiet. "Is that all you're going to tell me?"  
  
"I thought that maybe by being on the opposite side of the bed I could convince myself that you weren't there sleeping right beside me. Of course it didn't work. Every night I fell asleep, I dreamt countless times of making love with you."  
  
"It seems your dreams were answered."  
  
"What would you have done if Martin stayed married to you in the assignment? Would you have shared a bed with him?"  
  
"What other choice did I have?"  
  
"You said it yourself, the couch." He reminds me.  
  
"You think I would sleep on there?" I laugh and shake my head. "You've got to be kidding me Jack."  
  
"Martin didn't offer?"  
  
"I'm pretty sure he did. I'm also fairly confident I told him we could handle it, since we're mature adults."  
  
"I'm surprised the thought alone didn't give Martin a heart attack."  
  
"What? You're being ridiculous."  
  
"Do I need to worry about sending you on stakeouts with him?" Jack's eyes glance towards me questionably. I know he's joking but somehow I also wonder if there's any true jealousy behind his words.  
  
"I don't think you have to worry about me" I remind him, rubbing my hand across my abdomen. "I have a feeling when Martin finds out he'll be devastated."  
  
"And even more so when he figures out the time frame and that it was on the undercover assignment."  
  
"I'm not telling him that!"  
  
"You don't think he can figure it out on his own?" Jack counters.  
  
"Do you know how long it took him to even realize something might possibly be going on between us. Even now I'm not so certain he knows for sure. He might suspect something but I doubt it."  
  
"I wonder how Vivian and Danny will take to the announcement."  
  
"Announcement?"  
  
"Of your pregnancy. You are planning on telling them before you're in labor, right?"  
  
"Please don't remind me."  
  
"Of which, telling them or being in labor."  
  
"Both" I answer with a soft sigh.  
  
"It's not so bad."  
  
"Easy for you to say" I remark. "You don't have to worry about the office rumors spreading even further."  
  
"I thought you didn't care what everyone else thought."  
  
"I don't.usually" I answer with a soft smile, "but I also want to keep things under raps. I'm sure it won't be long before OPR is back and investigating my pregnancy."  
  
"They wouldn't do that."  
  
"And why not?" I retort with mock skepticism. "They don't have anything else better to do with their time."  
  
"Sam calm down."  
  
"Yeah I know" I let out a breath, feeling sweat trickle down my face. I wipe my forehead and close my eyes for a moment.  
  
"You doing ok?"  
  
"Just hot" I whisper out.  
  
"I can turn the air up" he offers as I feel the cold blast of air through the fan.  
  
"Thanks." I answer as I feel the car stop and open my eyes to see us in front of a halfway decent restaurant for lunch.  
  
We slip out of the car, file in hand, and make our way towards a booth. I take a seat across from Jack, glancing through the menu. The waitress comes over and takes our order. Once she slips away I open the folder looking down at the picture of Emily that her mother lent to us.  
  
"I've got a bad feeling about this one Sam." He looks from the photo to me.  
  
"I know, something doesn't feel right" I answer.  
  
"You think it has anything to do with her parents?" Jack's eyes gauge my reaction.  
  
"I don't know. We haven't exactly spoken with her parents yet."  
  
"I have" he tells me.  
  
"When?"  
  
"Her mother came into my office earlier today. She dropped off the photo but didn't say too much else."  
  
"Her father wasn't there?"  
  
"No" Jack shakes his head. "Didn't mention him either. I didn't think much of it at the time. I had other things on my mind."  
  
"You're slipping" I tease him, as I notice our food arriving.  
  
After we finish eating, Jack and I head on our way to the Richard's home. I feel my cell phone vibrating as we make our way up the porch. "Go ahead" I tell Jack as I answer the call.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Samantha it's Eric Kellar."  
  
"Oh hey" my voice holds surprise, "what's up?"  
  
"I've got some information for you on the case your working on."  
  
"Case?" I question. "What case?"  
  
"Emily Richard's" Kellar answers.  
  
"I can't really talk right now, I'm with Jack on an investigation." I don't add how I'm with Jack in other ways too.  
  
"Yeah I figured as much. Listen can I take you out tonight? We can discuss what I found for you."  
  
"Eric" I feel my body being torn in two directions. How will Jack feel if he finds out? Kellar's a great guy, as a friend, but I've finally gotten what I've longed for.  
  
"Come on beautiful" his voice is warm honey on my ears, "besides I've got something you'll really want to see."  
  
"You can't drop it off at the office?"  
  
"I'd prefer not to. If anyone knows I've been looking into the case."  
  
"How'd you know about the case anyhow?"  
  
"Word travels fast. Besides my younger brother goes to the same school Emily disappeared from. Like I said I think you'll want to see what I've got."  
  
"Alright. There's a bar two blocks down from the Federal Building. Can you meet me there around six?"  
  
"Electrica?" He questions.  
  
"That's the one" I answer.  
  
"See you then" he hangs up and I slip my phone back into my pocket. I let out a soft breath, wondering whether I should tell Jack what's going on. 


	29. Chapter 29

"Alright. There's a bar two blocks down from the Federal Building. Can you meet me there around six?"  
  
"Electrica?" He questions.  
  
"That's the one" I answer.  
  
"See you then" he hangs up and I slip my phone back into my pocket. I let out a soft breath, wondering whether I should tell Jack what's going on.  
  
********  
  
I knock softly on the door, allowing myself inside as I see Jack scribbling down some notes. "Hey Sam" he waves me into the living room.  
  
"I'm Agent Spade" I introduce myself. I glance down at Jack's notes, curious if he asked about Avery yet. "Would you mind if I looked around in your daughters room?"  
  
"No go right ahead." I head down the hallway and upstairs. Glancing from one room to the next. I slip inside Emily's bedroom, looking over her desk at the pictures she's placed under the glass. There's a photo of Emily and Avery in the dorm together, probably taken sometime between freshman and sophomore year.  
  
"Find anything?" I hear Jack's voice and turn around to see him entering the bedroom.  
  
"She knew Avery for a while."  
  
"Yeah they went to grade school together" Jack tells me. "Parents think Avery's a bit of a wild child but nothing to suspect she's involved in Emily's disappearance."  
  
"We know she frequented bars and I'm guessing clubs too" I notice her closet door open with glittered halter-tops, sparkling pants, and pumps on the floor. "What if the girls took the train downtown to go clubbing. Two twenty year old girls, late at night, dressed like this" I run my hand along the bright red shimmer top, "it wouldn't surprise me if they found trouble."  
  
"We need to get ahold of Avery and find out what happened the last time they got together."  
  
"Assuming she's not gone too" I remind him.  
  
"Yeah" he lets out a sigh and I shut the closet door. I glance around the rest of Emily's rooming, hoping to find something. "Who was on the phone earlier?" Jack questions.  
  
"Oh that" I shake my hand waving it off. "It was nothing."  
  
Jack eyes me, knowing I'm keeping something from him. "I still have the bureau therapist to see" I remind him. "She wanted to reschedule my appointment and have me come in tonight around six."  
  
"And you told her we're on a case, right?"  
  
"Jack" I let out a sigh and roll my eyes. "I tried but it certainly doesn't help when your superior sends her to you in the first place."  
  
"Point taken. I'll have you back in time."  
  
"Thank you" I answer, hoping Jack doesn't ask any more questions.  
  
As the evening progresses onward, we head back to the office. "I'll stick around to give you a ride home" Jack offers as we make our way inside the building and into his office.  
  
"I can catch a cab back. It's not that far" I remind him.  
  
"Are you sure? I've got paperwork to do anyhow. Besides Sam I feel bad."  
  
"What for?" I question.  
  
"Telling you to see the in house therapist. I know you really didn't want to and you even fought me on it, but I think it's done a lot of good."  
  
I shrug in response and fail to mention I've cancelled the last three appointments. He's right though I did seem to open up to her, until she started asking about my relationships and Jack. About how it made me feel when he rescued me. I ran away from that question, sometimes I feel like I'm still running.  
  
"Why don't you go home." I tell him.  
  
"Will I see you tonight?"  
  
"I don't know" I answer, biting down on my lower lip feeling slightly guilty. "I might be late. I plan on getting something to eat on my way home."  
  
"Why don't I wait for you. Then we can go out together?"  
  
"No" I shake my head. "You go home. You've spent too much time here as it is." I remind him. "The worst that happens is I'll see you tomorrow" I smile and move closer to embrace him with a hug goodbye.  
  
"Call me tonight when you get in."  
  
"Alright." I answer, grabbing my coat and heading into the elevator.  
  
"You need your coat?" Jack eyes me suspiciously.  
  
"It gets cold downstairs" I point out. "I'll talk to you later" I wave goodbye as the elevator shuts and I sneak down and outside towards the bar.  
  
I feel my heart pounding through my chest. I doubt Jack will glance down the window and see me, but I can't help but look up hoping no one's watching.  
  
I make my way into the bar, glancing around to see Kellar waving for me to come over.  
  
"Hey Samantha you look really great."  
  
His eyes wander over my body as I laugh off his comment, "hey. What have you got for me?" I question.  
  
"No how are you doing?"  
  
"Alright how are you?" I question, "now what have you got that'll help find this missing girl?"  
  
"Samantha if I didn't know any better I'd say you're in a rush to leave."  
  
"Eric" I interrupt him. "I wasn't exactly honest with my superiors when I told them I had to leave early."  
  
"What? They wouldn't let you out when you expressed you had a date to attend to?"  
  
"An informant" I clarify.  
  
"Either way does it matter what they think? We're in different divisions now" he reminds me.  
  
"No small thanks to your buddies" I remind him.  
  
"Sorry" he quickly replies.  
  
"No" I shake my head. "It's done and over with. I'm sorry. I try not to hold a grudge but."  
  
"Sometimes it just happens, yeah I know" he laughs. "I thought we got past everything?"  
  
"We did" I answer. "It's not relevant now anyways" I tell him, "I'm seeing someone now so."  
  
"Is it serious?"  
  
"Yes" I nod my head, thinking about the unborn child I'm carrying.  
  
"Wow. Who would have thought Samantha would ever take a relationship serious."  
  
I give him the death glare. "Be nice," I warn him.  
  
"Of course. Do I know him? Let me guess he works with you? You always had a thing for office politics and men with power."  
  
I move to stand up, not carrying what evidence he would have brought me. It's not worth it. Kellar grabs my wrist, "don't leave." He tells me. "I didn't mean."  
  
"Yes isn't that always the case." I retort.  
  
"You have a right to be angry with me. Just hear me out. I have something that I think will redeem myself."  
  
"What?"  
  
"A video" he slips a dvd from his jacket pocket. "Emily, Avery, and Justin."  
  
"What's on the tape?"  
  
"I'm sure you can venture to guess. Let me just say this isn't the only copy going around."  
  
"Where'd you get it? The internet?" I probe.  
  
"No. I told you my younger brother attends."  
  
"Yeah I heard that already. This is his copy?"  
  
"Yes." Kellar nods. "I didn't ask how he got it. He doesn't know either of the girls though so I've got a feeling this could be real bad for your case."  
  
"Tell me about it" I let out a breath.  
  
"Why don't we order drinks?" He waves the waitress over and orders himself something. "Do you want the same?"  
  
"No. Just a coke." The waitress takes off with our orders and Kellar looks me over.  
  
"Wow."  
  
"What?"  
  
"You're not drinking." He points out, "and you're serious with someone. Let me guess, is it Danny?"  
  
A small smile forms at the corner of my lips. "It's no one in the department."  
  
"Sure" he nods and within seconds later our drinks are in front of us. He downs the liquid eyeing me. I'm not really even in the mood for a soda but I take a sip glancing around the bar.  
  
"Thanks for bringing this to me" I tell him, holding the dvd.  
  
"No problem. I knew you'd want it."  
  
"Listen I'm sorry about earlier. Lately things have just been so hectic."  
  
"Shhh" he shakes his head, "no need to explain, remember?" I nod, remembering how our relationship was most of the time. It was never about commitment or love but what I would truly call lust. We joked around, had fun when we were together but nothing ever came of it. Probably a good thing, looking back on it.  
  
I glance down at my watch, "shit. I need to go and make a phone call. I'll be right back" I tell him. 


	30. Chapter 30

"Shhh" he shakes his head, "no need to explain, remember?" I nod, remembering how our relationship was most of the time. It was never about commitment or love but what I would truly call lust. We joked around, had fun when we were together but nothing ever came of it. Probably a good thing, looking back on it.  
  
I glance down at my watch, "shit. I need to go and make a phone call. I'll be right back" I tell him.  
  
*********  
  
I head towards the bathroom, pulling out my phone and hoping for some peace and quiet. Luckily the place is empty and I dial Jack.  
  
"Hey I'm back" I tell Jack.  
  
"How'd it go?"  
  
"Good" I answer, "a bit tired though."  
  
"You should get some sleep" he tells me.  
  
"I will. Goodnight" I answer before hanging up the phone. I feel horrible for having to lie to Jack and even worse for deceiving him. Tomorrow when I mention the dvd he's going to want to know where I got it from and when.  
  
I head back out towards Kellar. "I ordered us some barbecue wings" he tells me.  
  
"Thanks. I'm starving" I answer.  
  
"Why didn't you say so? We could have gone for some real food?"  
  
"This will do" I tell him. "So I take it you watched the tape?"  
  
"Yes" he nods. "It's pretty graphic. I suggest you sitting down when you see it."  
  
"So it's not just sex on there?"  
  
"It starts with that and then it gets pretty what's the word, kinky" he shrugs. "It gets bad" he corrects himself. "I almost feel horrible for giving you the tape to watch alone."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"It's just really horrific" he tells me. "Maybe it would be best if you gave it to one of the other agents. Left it on their desk and then no one would know who brought it."  
  
"You don't have to worry about me selling you out" I remind him. "I haven't yet, and I've had plenty of opportunities." I tease.  
  
"Yeah I know. Never mess with Samantha Spade unless you want to be eating dirt and be buried six feet under."  
  
I laugh at his words and look up to see the waitress bringing us our food. Once we finish eating, I offer to pay the bill, seeing as how Kellar did get me the tape.  
  
"No" he tells me, pushing my money back into my purse. "I wanted you to come out tonight." He reminds me.  
  
"Thanks" I tell him, standing up and heading outside with him.  
  
"Where's your car?" He glances around the parking lot.  
  
"I got a ride this morning." I answer.  
  
"Let me take you home then."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"It'd be faster and cheaper" he points out.  
  
"Thanks" I take him up on his offer, especially since I'm starting to grow tired.  
  
We pull in front of my apartment and I turn to face him. "You still remember where I live?" My smile grows in amusement.  
  
"How could I forget?" He eyes me seriously.  
  
"Thanks for tonight" I tell him, "and for the disk."  
  
"Whatever I can do to help" he answers. "Have a good night."  
  
"You too" I answer, slipping out from his car and making my way up the stairs and into the building.  
  
I head into the elevator and down the hall. "Jack?" My eyes widen in surprise.  
  
"I thought I'd stop by." He tells me.  
  
"When?"  
  
"When you told me you were home."  
  
"I'm sorry" I immediately respond.  
  
"How was your date?" I glance over, seeing the window and realizing that's how Jack knew.  
  
"It wasn't a date" I reiterate. "I got a call from an informant" I clarify. "He gave me something."  
  
"Oh I bet!"  
  
"Jack!" My eyes widen in disbelief. I open the door, not letting the neighbors hear anymore of our conversation.  
  
Jack slams the door behind me, his face red with fury. "It's not what you think."  
  
"Who was he?"  
  
"You know I can't tell you that."  
  
"Can't or won't?"  
  
"Jack you're being unfair." I plead with him. "You know I'm crazy about you. I did this purely for the sake of the missing girl. You should be asking me what I found not who I was with."  
  
"Fine what did he give you?" I hand over the disc.  
  
"I haven't watched it yet. I heard Emily, Avery, and the boyfriend Justin are all on it. I'm sure you can guess what they're doing."  
  
Jack moves closer to me, his body looming over my small frame. "Jack talk to me."  
  
"Why?" His voice is gruff and filled with anger. I know I hurt him, I didn't want to, but I was worried what he'd think. I let out a soft sigh.  
  
"I didn't want you to think something of nothing" I answer. "I considered bringing Danny or Martin along but then I wasn't sure you'd even agree to that."  
  
"It would have been safer."  
  
"I trusted the person I met" I tell him. "He wouldn't have done anything to me."  
  
"So he's an old boyfriend?"  
  
"Jack" I plead with him. "What's this about?"  
  
"You lying to me."  
  
"I'm sorry" I answer, moving to take a seat on the sofa. "What was I supposed to do? He didn't want me to bring anyone with me. If I told you I knew you'd get bent out of shape."  
  
"And why do you think I would have been that way."  
  
"I don't know. Maybe you don't trust me."  
  
"Samantha."  
  
I let out a soft sigh, running my hand through my hair. "I don't know what to tell you" I lean back against the cushions. "Maybe this was all too soon" I can't look him in the eyes. I shut my own, not wanting to see his broken heart.  
  
"Maybe it was." His words come out cold and emotionless.  
  
My hand moves to cover my face as I feel tears trickling down my cheek. I hear Jack's heavy footsteps against the carpet as he leaves my apartment, slamming the door behind him.  
  
I lift my phone, wanting to call someone to right this very wrong. I dial the number waiting for a response. 


	31. Chapter 31

I let out a soft sigh, running my hand through my hair. "I don't know what to tell you" I lean back against the cushions. "Maybe this was all too soon" I can't look him in the eyes. I shut my own, not wanting to see his broken heart.  
  
"Maybe it was." His words come out cold and emotionless.  
  
My hand moves to cover my face as I feel tears trickling down my cheek. I hear Jack's heavy footsteps against the carpet as he leaves my apartment, slamming the door behind him.  
  
I lift my phone, wanting to call someone to right this very wrong. I dial the number waiting for a response.  
  
**********  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Danny" my voice is soft against the phone.  
  
"Samantha?" He's not sure it's me, and how could he be? There are tears in my voice, something I hardly let anyone see or hear.  
  
"Yeah" I breathe out.  
  
"What's wrong?" His voice holds concern as I feel my body shaking with sobs.  
  
"Can you come over?" I breathe out between tears.  
  
"Sure" his reassuring voice only brings more tears and sadness to my eyes.  
  
In no time he's at my door, enveloping me in his arms. He doesn't understand what's wrong but I think he has an idea it has to do with Jack. He pulls me to the couch, wrapping his arms around me as I cuddle into his frame.  
  
"Danny I'm pregnant" I shake my head, letting the words sink into the air as more tears cover my face.  
  
"Shhh it'll be ok" he tells me, rubbing his fingers over my face to dispel my tears.  
  
"It gets worse." I tell him between uneven breaths, "I screwed up Danny. Really bad, he won't even talk to me and I think it's over."  
  
"Shhh Samantha we're talking about Jack right?" I nod my head into his chest, not wanting to show the look of pain and guilt on my face. "He's no good for you."  
  
"I love him though."  
  
"Whatever you did Samantha I'm sure it's forgivable. If he's not willing to give you a second chance then screw him."  
  
"Danny that's what got me here in the first place!" He laughs softly and so do I. For a moment I feel slightly better but not for long.  
  
"How far along are you?"  
  
"Just about three months" I answer.  
  
"Wow, you'll be starting to show soon."  
  
"I know. I already am" I rub my hand to my stomach and can already see the tiny bulge. Nothing major but enough to notice when I have to slip on my pants.  
  
"You know I'll be here for you" Danny tells me. "I'll help you raise the baby if that's what you're worried about."  
  
"Danny" my voice is soft as I shake my head no. "I can do it on my own. I was even planning on it, until Jack practically begged me to marry him."  
  
"You're joking?"  
  
"I'm wishing I was." I let out a soft sigh. "I screwed it all up though."  
  
"How?"  
  
"Kellar called me" Danny flinches immediately knowing it's trouble. "He knew about our case and told me he had something to help us out. So I met with him."  
  
"And Jack's mad about that? He's got to realize."  
  
"No Danny" I shake my head, "I lied to Jack. Told him I had to meet with the bureau therapist, then I lied about being home. So he came by, I don't even know why. Kellar dropped me off and Jack saw. He got bent out of shape and" I let out a breath not being able to say anything else. I feel completely exhausted.  
  
"What'd Kellar give or say to you?"  
  
"A disc. He said Emily, Avery, and Justin were on it. I haven't watched it yet. He said it was pretty graphic."  
  
"I bet" Danny smirks. "What'd Jack say?"  
  
"I don't remember. He didn't seem grateful to have it. I think it'll help the case though." I whisper out, closing my eyes.  
  
"Why don't you slip into bed?" Danny suggests. "Otherwise you're going to fall asleep and be uncomfortable."  
  
"Yeah your right" I nod with a yawn standing up. Danny stands up too and gives me another hug.  
  
"I should head out" he tells me. "Would you mind if I borrowed the disc for tonight? Took a look at it? Maybe I'll figure out something in relation to it overnight."  
  
I grab the disc off the table, "here." I tell him.  
  
"I'll bring it in tomorrow for everyone to look at."  
  
"Great" I roll my eyes with sarcasm.  
  
"At least it's not you and Kellar on here, that would tick Jack off even more."  
  
I laugh softly, "yeah it would."  
  
"Get some sleep." He presses a soft kiss to the top of my head.  
  
"Danny" he turns around before heading out the door.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Don't tell anyone about the baby, please."  
  
"You know I won't." He nods in agreement before shutting my door.  
  
I slip into my bedroom, pulling out a pair of pajamas and slipping them on before heading into bed. I lie beneath the covers, staring up at the ceiling feeling so much pain and emptiness without Jack in my life. I close my eyes, allowing the night to swallow me whole till the light of morning breaks.  
  
My alarm clock jars me awake. I sit up, feeling my head throb and sweat trickle down my face. The thought of facing Jack only makes me more nauseous. What if he never forgives me? How can I spend every day working with him and having him hate me?  
  
I head towards the bathroom, taking a quick shower and changing into clothes for work. I finish breakfast in a hurry and find myself at the office in no time. I sit at my desk, noticing I'm the first to arrive, something that rarely if ever happens. Jack isn't even in yet, and I begin to wonder if he's having the same reservations that I am.  
  
"Samantha" I hear Danny's cheerful tone as I spin around in my chair.  
  
"Hey" I answer, my lips forming upward but not an actual smile.  
  
"I watched your tape and I have to say it was one disturbing tale."  
  
"What was on there?"  
  
"Everything from bizarre sexual fetishes to actually hurting Emily and Avery. I've got a sick feeling in my stomach that she's been murdered."  
  
"Danny" my head shakes no as his name slips off my tongue.  
  
"Have you told anyone else about your little secret?" He eyes my stomach with a smile.  
  
"Jack and Van Doren." I answer.  
  
"Everyone else will have to wait." He responds with amusement.  
  
"Hey Samantha" I hear Martin's voice and notice Vivian making her way into the office as well. I smile up in response, not exactly in the mood for small talk. "What will everyone have to wait for?" Martin questions.  
  
Vivian comes over, eyeing the disc that's lying on the desk. "What do we have?"  
  
"A boyfriend that's abusive and likely the cause of her disappearance." Danny answers.  
  
"Do we have an address or name for this boyfriend?"  
  
"Justin Landers. We're working on the address right now. Has anyone heard from Jack?" We all glance around exchanging nods of 'no'. I notice Van Doren making her way over and I suck in a breath feeling my stomach tighten.  
  
"Samantha can I have a word with you?" 


	32. Chapter 32

"Do we have an address or name for this boyfriend?"  
  
"Justin Landers. We're working on the address right now. Has anyone heard from Jack?" We all glance around exchanging nods of 'no'. I notice Van Doren making her way over and I suck in a breath feeling my stomach tighten.  
  
"Samantha can I have a word with you?"  
  
*******  
  
"Yes" I stand up following her into Jack's office to take a seat. I'm curious why we haven't gone to hers. Maybe because it's closer? What if Jack comes in? Does it even matter?  
  
"Samantha I received a call this morning, would you like to explain to me why Jack has called in and taken his vacation in the middle of an assignment?"  
  
"I don't know" I shrug my shoulders.  
  
"Is there something going on that's affecting your working relationship?"  
  
"I don't think so" I sigh out, she must know I'm lying to her. "I was given a tape from an informant last night. Jack didn't seem happy by the means I used to acquire it" I tell her honestly.  
  
"He's jealous" she lets out a soft laugh shaking her head. "I should have seen that one coming. Samantha you two have worked together for several years now."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"What can I do to ensure your working relationship will continue on indefinitely? The success rate since you've joined the team has been impeccable. I personally find our missing persons unit to be the greatest qualified with the bureau, and not just in New York. I would hope that we can work out our indifferences and not put people's lives in jeopardy."  
  
"I agree" I answer.  
  
"I realize you're pregnant and probably going through hell dealing with Jack, work, his kids, and ex-wife, but we need you focused on the task of recovering missing persons."  
  
"I know. I have been."  
  
"Yes you have. I also want Jack to operate the team as he has been. I've tried calling him and he won't answer. He left a voice message sometime after three am so he wouldn't have to talk with anyone. Samantha I want you to go down there and find him. Bring him into the office and straighten out whatever is going on. Take the morning off if you have to, but by noon I want things back to the way they were this morning or else you both can find jobs elsewhere."  
  
My mouth hangs open. She's going to fire us? I thought she said we were one of the greatest recovery teams for the bureau. I let out a breath and nod my head. I stand up, heading out of the office feeling slightly overwhelmed. What if Jack doesn't want to forgive me or come back into work? How will I be able to support this child without a job?  
  
I groan out in protest as I slip into my car. I bang my hand against the steering wheel, frustrated as ever and annoyed with myself. I hear my cell phone buzzing and pull it from my pocket.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Samantha what'd Van Doren say to you?" Danny questions.  
  
"I have to bring Jack in by noon and have things worked out or else we're both fired."  
  
"Can she do that?"  
  
"Can we be doing what we have?" I remind him.  
  
"We've got an address on Justin's house. Martin and Vivian are going to question him and I'm going to stop by Avery's."  
  
"If you need anything call me." I tell him.  
  
"Will do. Good luck" he adds before hanging up.  
  
I head on my way towards Jack's apartment, hoping he'll see me again. I make my way up the stairs to his place, knocking on the door. "Jack" I call out.  
  
He pulls back the door, his eyes dark with emptiness. "What?" His body looms over mine, blocking me from entrance into his home.  
  
"Can I come in?"  
  
"I think you've done enough damage and pain for one day." He begins to shut the door on me and I put my foot in to stop him.  
  
"Before you shut me out" I speak up, "you should know you're about to lose your job."  
  
"What?" His eyes widen with anger.  
  
"Van Doren thinks our relationship is getting in the way. Unless we clear the air and report back by noon we're both fired."  
  
"Enjoy your vacation" he smirks, slamming the door in my face.  
  
"Jack" I whine out and let out an aggravated groan. "You're such a jerk sometimes!" I exclaim, storming out of his hallway and down to my car. 


	33. Chapter 33

"Enjoy your vacation" he smirks, slamming the door in my face.  
  
"Jack" I whine out and let out an aggravated groan. "You're such a jerk sometimes!" I exclaim, storming out of his hallway and down to my car.  
  
*****  
  
I sit behind the wheel for several minutes, contemplating what to do. Should I call Kellar and try and get back in with the NYPD? It's not exactly what I want to do and besides isn't that what started this whole ordeal? Maybe I'd be better off heading up to my mother's for awhile. At least until the baby comes.  
  
I hear several loud knocks against the window and jump from surprise. Jack's staring at me and I let out a sigh. I roll down the window and in the brightness of day see how worn he looks. He probably didn't sleep at all last night, and now this news I'm sure isn't helping.  
  
"Why don't you come inside" he tells me, opening my car door. I roll up my window and follow him up into his apartment. He shuts the door behind me and I head towards the sofa to take a seat. I glance at the table in front of me, noticing an open bottle of liquor and an empty glass. I glance towards Jack and notice him staggering towards me.  
  
"Shit" I whisper out. "Promise me you're not drunk."  
  
"Sam" his voice is gruff as he sits beside me. I can smell the stale scent of alcohol coming from his breath. I let out a sigh, feeling his fingers move to my arm. "Look at me" he tells me.  
  
"Jack" I breathe out, closing my eyes as I feel the stress of the situation overwhelming me.  
  
His fingers slide up my arm and to my neck, pausing over my pulse. "Last night" he hashes out, "you went to him for sex. Didn't you? Was that all you needed? Another body to cling to? Was I not enough for you? Was I not meeting your expectations?" Beneath his fingers my pulse races as I feel myself growing angry with him but trying to understand why he's doing this and being this way.  
  
"Jack" I pause, moving his hand from my neck down between us. "We need to talk" I remind him.  
  
"What's there to talk about? You screwed another man."  
  
"No I didn't" I retort. "I got us the damn video for our case and if you would open your eyes to that fact and the idea that I'm not leaving you unless you want out of this relationship."  
  
"I want to know" he pauses, "I need to know I won't lose you Sam." His breath wafts my way and I feel my stomach doing somersaults.  
  
"You won't. I promise you I'm here" I tell him. His eyes shut for a moment, nodding at my words as his hand snakes its way into my hair. His eyes open to glance into mine, staring into my soul and very existence.  
  
"You have all these guys chasing after you" he waves his hand in the air gesturing his words. "Martin, Kellar, Dr. Fred" his hands keeping moving as if to say there's more and he's too drunk to remember them all.  
  
"Jack" I take his hand, moving it down to rest on his lap. "There's no one else I want to be with. No one in the world means as much to me as you do. Before you it was always about sex and nothing more. With you it's always been different."  
  
"I'm not good enough for it to be about sex?" He scoffs at the idea his hand dropping from mine as he leans to take another drink from his liquor.  
  
I stand up, heading to the sink to pour out the remaining glass and closing the bottle before storing it away. Jack sits on the couch, waiting for me to return. I take a seat beside him, feeling his body a lot closer then it was before.  
  
"Jack you're wonderful in bed. You know that" I tell him, my eyes stare into his soul. "You do more for me out of bed though then any man has even tried."  
  
He lets out a deep sigh, the scent of liquor wafting towards me. I bite down on my lip, suppressing the urge to vomit. "You really mean it?" His eyes go from his hands to my face, curious to my response.  
  
"Yes" I tell him with a soft smile tugging at the corners of my lips. "I didn't even consider doing anything with Kellar. Things have been long over between us." I tell him. "In fact I even admitted to him that I was in a serious relationship."  
  
"You told him about us?" His tone isn't hateful so much now as curious and worn.  
  
"I didn't say it was you, but he knows I'm not interested in him. He knows I won't be going back to him for sex." I point out. "And vice versa."  
  
"Does he know about the baby?"  
  
"No" I shake my head. "It wasn't any of his business." I pause, his eyes holding my gaze, "I want this to work out between us. I know I made a huge mistake and I'm sorry. Do you have any idea what I wouldn't give to take it all back?"  
  
"I know" he nods, his head falling into my chest as I feel his breathing vibrating against my chest. "Jack?" I pull my hand down to his chin, bringing his face to mine as I see the tears in his eyes. "I love you" I whisper out, holding him tight against me as I feel his chest shaking and his body holding in so much pain. "What's wrong?" I question, knowing he's holding something back.  
  
"Sam" his voice is filled with agony and I run my hands along his back, holding him close to me. After a few minutes his breathing and tears subside. I feel his hand snake to my stomach, his thumb sliding against the tiny bulge. "I had this horrible dream" he tells me, his eyes staring at my stomach as the words slip from his tongue. "After our fight, you didn't think I'd ever love you again. You decided not to have this baby because it reminded you of me."  
  
"Jack," I rub my fingers through his hair, and along his neck trying to calm him. "Even if you went back with Marie and never spoke to me again, I'd have this baby" I tell him. "Even if you ran away with some other woman, I'd probably attempt to hunt you down and kill you first, then I'd have this baby."  
  
I feel his chest vibrating softly with laughter. "I'm sorry I didn't trust you" he whispers out.  
  
"I'm sorry I lied to you. I was worried you'd think too much of it."  
  
"I would have" he laughs softly. His eyes meet mine, and his mouth moves closer to kiss me.  
  
"Jack" I stop him with a hand to his chest. "You smell like a brewery" I remind him.  
  
"You didn't smell too good last night after being at the bar."  
  
"I took a shower" I point out. "You smell like liquor."  
  
"Sorry" he closes his eyes and rests his head against the sofa. I lean my body against his.  
  
"Are things good between us then?" I question.  
  
"We still have some things to get through" he points out. "For instance, why have you been canceling your appointments with."  
  
"How'd you know?"  
  
"I ran into her on the way out. I knew you were lying when you called me from home, I just figured you'd be on your way back so I stopped by your place."  
  
"I'm so sorry" I tell him. "I didn't mean."  
  
"I know." He nods with a sigh. "I realized I had to give you another chance and not just because I love you and your carrying my child. Truth is I tried so long with Marie and didn't give you half the chance I gave her."  
  
"Jack."  
  
"No listen" he tells me. "I know you're sorry but it still hurt. I guess we both have a lot of learning to do."  
  
"Yes" I nod with a sigh, moving my head to rest beside his on the sofa. We're quiet, contemplating our thoughts for several minutes. "I told Danny about the baby and about us."  
  
"I knew you would call someone last night. I'm just glad it wasn't Kellar" he laughs softly. "I was worried you'd call him and invite him up. I almost considered stopping by in the middle of the night."  
  
"You really are the jealous type?"  
  
"I never thought I was but." he lets out a sigh. "When things were good between us I never worried."  
  
"You shouldn't worry" I tell him, "I would never do anything to jeopardize our relationship."  
  
"Never?" His eyes meet mine.  
  
"Well not again. I promise I didn't do anything with him last night."  
  
"I know" Jack nods. "If you would have you'd have been a lot more flustered when you saw me. Well that or you'd have brought him up to your place and I'd have been flustered."  
  
"Give me some credit" I chide with a laugh. I let out a sigh, leaning into Jack's body as I feel his arm slip around me. "What are we going to do about work?"  
  
"What we've always done" he points out. "Although I don't think Van Doren would like to see me now." He smiles towards me, obviously still under the influence, besides the odor his body is emitting.  
  
"I don't know it'd give her another reason to fire us."  
  
"She wouldn't do that."  
  
"She threatened it" I tell him.  
  
"Alright well she might want to fire me, but she wouldn't fire a pregnant single mother."  
  
"Don't kid yourself" I retort. "She was willing and able."  
  
"I think she just wanted to get things worked out between the two of us. She's always been that way."  
  
"Since when?"  
  
"When you were in the bookstore" he lets out a sigh and his head turns to face me, "she didn't want me running the operation but she let me anyhow. After you were shot she had the opportunity to pull me away, she even considered it but told me I had to find another way then to go tactical."  
  
"What's your point?"  
  
"If she'd have taken me off the assignment, I wouldn't have been able to go in. Whether I was supposed to or not, she told me to find another way and that's what I did. By the book or not, I did what needed to be done and she knows that."  
  
"Jack why don't we get you into bed" I tell him, "It doesn't look like you've slept much. We'll finish this conversation later." I press a kiss to his forehead. "I'll call Van Doren. Hopefully she'll accept your fate."  
  
"And what's that?"  
  
"That you need to sleep it off."  
  
I help him too his feet and into his bed. He lies down closing his eyes the minute he hits the mattress. "Sam?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Will you stay with me?"  
  
"Jack, I need to call Van Doren first, ok?"  
  
He nods his head and by the time I get back he's sound asleep snoring softly.  
  
Luckily Van Doren seemed to understand and said as long as we were both in tomorrow, on Wednesday, then all would be well. 


	34. Chapter 34

"Jack, I need to call Van Doren first, ok?"  
  
He nods his head and by the time I get back he's sound asleep snoring softly.  
  
Luckily Van Doren seemed to understand and said as long as we were both in tomorrow, on Wednesday, then all would be well.  
  
******  
  
I head back out to the living room, taking a seat on the couch and turning the television on low. I flip through the channels, not really interested in what's on. I glance towards the kitchen, feeling my stomach rumble. I let out a soft sigh and stand up, glancing through the fridge and cabinets to figure out what to make myself.  
  
After I'm done eating, I head into the bedroom seeing Jack sound asleep. I slip beside him under the covers, resting my eyes for a short while.  
  
"Hello?" I fail to hear the phone ring but I hear Jack's rough voice answering. "Yeah she's here. Samantha" he hands me the phone. I move to sit up, taking the phone in my hands.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"It's Danny."  
  
"Hey how's the case?" I question.  
  
"Coming along nicely. Vivian called me about an hour ago. They're on their way back to the office and they're bringing Justin in."  
  
"Do you need me there?"  
  
"No I think we can handle it. Just thought I'd give you the heads up."  
  
"Thanks" I answer.  
  
"How's Jack doing?"  
  
I glance over to see Jack lying pale and sweaty on the bed. "I think he's slightly hung over. He'll be back in tomorrow. Van Doren gave me the rest of the day off too but if you need me."  
  
"No the three of us can manage."  
  
"Did you find Avery?" I question.  
  
"We found her empty apartment. No one has seen or heard from her since a week after Emily's disappearance."  
  
"You think she's guilty" I whisper out.  
  
"It's looking more and more like it. We're hoping Justin can shine some light on the situation."  
  
"Call me if you find anything out."  
  
"Take it easy" Danny reminds me.  
  
"Will do" I hand the phone over to Jack to hang it up.  
  
"You didn't have to tell him I had a hang over."  
  
"And lie again?" I grin towards him.  
  
"You know" he pauses his eyes moving to meet mine, "we still have some stuff to work out."  
  
"Yeah I know" I nod in agreement. "How are you feeling?"  
  
"Like road kill."  
  
I can't help but laugh softly. "Sorry" I answer.  
  
"Be glad you're pregnant otherwise I bet you'd have been just as wasted."  
  
"Yeah you're right I would have been." I nod my head, not being able to wipe the smile off my face.  
  
"Do I still stink?" His eyes meet mine.  
  
"A little. I think the smell starts to grow on me after awhile."  
  
"Grow on you?" He eyes me peculiarly.  
  
"Yeah when I was younger I had a boyfriend that use to smell like stale cigarette smoke. In the beginning I couldn't be around him without him showering and brushing his teeth. Eventually the smell became a part of him."  
  
"So I smell like a drunk?"  
  
"Jack" I laugh shaking my head no. "You know what I mean."  
  
"Yeah." He closes his eyes, still feeling slightly under the weather. "What'd Danny say about the case?"  
  
"They're bringing Justin in. Avery apparently has skipped town, which makes me believe she's involved. Although I'm not sure why she went to Emily's room that night" I let out a sigh. "There's so much that doesn't make sense here."  
  
"Avery's worried about Emily" Jack responds, "I'm not sure why but she is. She left town on a guilty conscious." He points out.  
  
"She knows something we don't. Probably where to find her."  
  
"The tape you got. What was on there?"  
  
"I didn't watch it" I answer. "When Danny came over I gave it to him. I get the impression it was pretty violent and possibly some sort of s/m given what we've seen in her closet at school."  
  
"Maybe Emily threatened Justin or Avery. Maybe she wanted out of a bad situation and they killed her for it. Justin could have killed her and that would explain Avery's concern because she's guilty for not standing up for her friend and letting it happen."  
  
"All plausible theories" I answer, "especially since we know she got in a fight with Justin the night before her disappearance."  
  
"Any word on what the fight was about?"  
  
"Danny didn't say. They were bringing Justin in though, so I'm sure they'll try and get it out of him." Jack rolls towards me, his face finding the color that's been missing. "You're looking better" I whisper out.  
  
"Yeah you tend to help" he points out. I lay on my side facing him. Jack slips his hand behind my back, holding me close. "I want to talk about something."  
  
"Ok." I pause not sure what he's about to bring up.  
  
"I want you to answer me honestly Samantha."  
  
"Yeah of course."  
  
"Why have you been pulling away from seeing Lisa, the in house counselor?"  
  
"Jack" my voice pleads with him not to go there.  
  
"Talk to me." He moves a strand of hair behind my ear and my eyes slide shut with the soft warm feeling sliding through my body.  
  
"I just couldn't go on."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"She was asking me pretty personal things."  
  
"That's her job" his laughter vibrates against my chest.  
  
"Jack" I let out a breath. "I know anything I tell her will be kept confidential but she started asking me things about you."  
  
"Oh" his eyes lighten up at the realization. "And you were worried it'd get around?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"You know she can't repeat anything."  
  
"I know and it's been awhile since I've had nightmares about it" I remind him. "Things seem to be getting better, so I thought if I didn't go."  
  
"She wouldn't have to know how you really feel" Jack interrupts, finishing my sentence.  
  
I nod against the pillow, my eyes glancing into his. "I love you Jack but it's none of her business about what happened in the bookstore that day."  
  
"Samantha" he lets out a soft sigh, clinging onto my body. "I know you may feel it's none of her business, but what happens if there's another hostage crisis?"  
  
"Jack" I let out a soft sigh. "I seemed to be alright after our undercover assignment" I remind him. "I managed to protect myself and apprehend our suspect. My judgement didn't get in the way and hasn't since."  
  
"Shhh" he presses a soft kiss to my lips to hush me. "I know." He answers. "I just think it would be good for you to have someone to talk to."  
  
"I talk to you."  
  
"Yes but not about what's really bothering you." He points out.  
  
"That's not true."  
  
"Then why all the fear and panic towards getting married?"  
  
"Jack" I plead with him, not wanting to be getting into this.  
  
"You say you talk to me, then let's talk." 


	35. Chapter 35

"Then why all the fear and panic towards getting married?"  
  
"Jack" I plead with him, not wanting to be getting into this.  
  
"You say you talk to me, then let's talk."  
  
*****  
  
"Do you really want to know why I'm afraid of getting married Jack?" My voice raises a notch in tone as I continue on, giving him no time to answer my question. "I've been married before and to tell you the truth, so have you. What's to say we're not getting married for the wrong reasons? How do I know you won't find another agent under your command to sleep with while I'm at home with the baby?"  
  
"Do you really think that's what would happen?"  
  
"I don't know" I shake my head. "How do I know you'll even still love me in twenty years" I whisper out. "How do I know I'll still love you" I trail off, not wanting to hurt him but fearing I already have. I close my eyes, not wanting to see the damage I've done.  
  
I feel Jack's fingers trailing along my cheek and behind my ear.  
  
"I love you Samantha and when we have ourselves a daughter or son I'll love you just the same. Nothing will change that."  
  
"But how do you really know that?"  
  
"I don't" he answers honestly. "I can't claim to know where I'll be in twenty years. I can only hope you'll still have me around."  
  
"Jack" I whisper out, feeling my heart, ache with sadness.  
  
"I know we've both made a lot of mistakes but why should we let our fears stand between us? We never let it in the past." He reminds me.  
  
"It's just a lot to take in right now" I whisper out, rubbing my face against his chest, hiding the tears that have spilled upon my cheeks.  
  
"Shhh" his hand softly rubs over my back in a gentle calming motion. "You need to relax" he tells me, his hand finding it's way down and across my lower back as I lean into his warm body. "Remember what the doctor said?" I nod my head into his chest, clinging tight against him. "Stress isn't good for the baby. I'm so sorry Sam" I hear the concern behind his voice.  
  
"I'm ok" I tell him, feeling his arms hold me close. My eyes grow heavy and I hear the phone interrupting us.  
  
"Hello?" Jack answers the phone and lets out a sigh of relief. "Good. Yeah would you mind holding on to it? I'll pick it up from you on Saturday." He pauses as I try and piece together who he's talking to and what it's about.  
  
"Yes I agree she needs to be punished but right now I'm relieved you actually found it. Thanks Marie." He hangs up the phone and runs his fingers through my hair.  
  
"Apparently Hannah lied to us."  
  
"What?"  
  
He lets out a sigh, "I suppose she couldn't go through with it. She knew I'd kill her."  
  
"What Jack?"  
  
"The engagement ring. Marie found it in Hannah's clothes when she was doing laundry."  
  
"That's good" a smile forms on my face as I watch him bite down on his lower lip.  
  
"It is a good thing right? You're not just saying that to."  
  
"Of course not Jack. I love you and when you officially propose" I tease him, "then you'll hear my official answer."  
  
"Sam" he whines out, moving his mouth against mine. His hands run through my hair as I feel the need to physically feel his weight against mine. My foot runs along his ankle as my hands gently push against his chest, lying him on his back. I move my body above his, starring down at him with bright brown eyes. My mouth descends on his, forceful with desire as I feel my carnal needs taking over.  
  
My breathing grows fast as I feel Jack's hands on my back, tugging at my shirt to pull over my body. My mouth meets his for another taste of sweetness as we fall into the rhythm of making love.  
  
A few minutes pass as we lie beside one another. My hand softly runs against Jack's chest, feeling each and every beat of his pulsating heart. "ask me" I breathe out.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Ask me" I remind him. His eyes glance into mine at the realization of what I'm saying.  
  
"Samantha" his voice is soft, "now's not a good time."  
  
"What?" My eyes widen in confusion as I abruptly move to sit up, using the sheet to cover my naked body. I reach for my clothes, sliding my shirt over my head and then my pants. I slip on my shoes, standing up ready to leave.  
  
"Why are you mad?"  
  
"I'm not" I whisper out with a sigh. "Just disappointed."  
  
"Don't be" his hand takes hold of my wrist, keeping me from leaving.  
  
"Jack let go," I warn him, my eyes filling with anger.  
  
"Sam you're taking it the wrong way."  
  
"What other way is there to take it?" I shake my head. "Nevermind I don't even think I want to know." I bolt out of his bedroom and into the living room to grab my phone. I glance up, ready to head for the door and feel Jack's arms enveloping my body from behind.  
  
"Don't leave" he whispers out. "I love you, I want to marry you. I just wanted it to be a surprise when I asked you."  
  
"Jack" I whisper out. His finger finds the single tear I've shed and he wipes it away, pressing a soft kiss to my cheek. "I should go."  
  
"Why?"  
  
I let out a sigh, not having a real reason. I head towards the door, glancing back and giving him a weary smile. "See you later" I tell him, slipping out the door and heading down to my car.  
  
Why do I feel like I'm running? I'm always running, never standing still. Never allowing life to take me where I should go. Instead I'm always dodging the inevitable, afraid of unhappiness while all along facing the reality of what I'm afraid of.  
  
I make my way inside my apartment, locking the door behind me. I notice my cell phone has a voice message and I glance down at the name of the last caller. With a sigh of relief, I dial for my phone messages. 


	36. Chapter 36

I make my way inside my apartment, locking the door behind me. I notice my cell phone has a voice message and I glance down at the name of the last caller. With a sigh of relief, I dial for my phone messages.  
  
*****  
  
"Samantha it's Martin. I wasn't sure why you left this morning but I'll probably stop by on my way home from the office and see how you're doing. If you want to do dinner let me know." I let out a sigh shaking my head. He must have called when Danny wasn't around or else he would have hassled him and told him not to call.  
  
I head into the kitchen, grabbing a glass of water and glancing at the clock. It won't be long before Martin shows up, if he does decide to stop by.  
  
I take a seat on the sofa, relaxing into the cushions as my mind drifts back to Jack. Is it my emotions running wild by the pregnancy lately or are my pent-up fears driving me insane?  
  
I love Jack, I do. I want to spend the rest of my life with him, I suppose I'm just afraid of the reality of the situation. The fact that I'm about to have a child with my boss. That thought alone scares me. Let alone how others will perceive it.  
  
I've heard the whispers about sleeping my way to the top but I never cared because it didn't matter. Now though, I let out a sigh, now it matters because I'm bringing a child into this world. I don't want the child growing up thinking its mother feels no love and loves no one. I know Jack would marry me, I even know he loves me. I just don't know what I'm doing running away and yet I find myself, off on foot running as far as the world will take me. Escaping some horrible fate I have played out in my mind. A nightmare behind all fears and for what? To find out if Jack truly loves me? I know he does. There's no question in my mind how much he cares for me.  
  
I'm not certain I can release the burden, the ultimate obstacle and for what? To give birth to a child I can't raise on my own. I suppose I could, but I wouldn't want to. I'd want the child to live a normal life, in a happy family. I never had that, but I can only hope to give that to my child some day.  
  
I let out a breath, feeling my mind race with these intangible thoughts. I hear the doorbell and make my way over, opening it to see Jack.  
  
"What are you doing here?"  
  
"Nice to see you too" he greets me. "Mind if I come in?"  
  
"Jack" I move out of the way with a sigh, letting him into my home. I shut the door behind me, and follow him to the couch.  
  
"I figured it out."  
  
"What?" My eyes meet his.  
  
"What you're so afraid of and why. You don't have to be afraid Sam, I won't ever go off with another woman."  
  
"Jack."  
  
"No, hear me out." He takes his hands in mine, his thumb running soft strokes over the back of my hand. "When I married Marie, I wasn't in love with her."  
  
"What?" My eyes hold a look of confusion.  
  
"We went out for two years and she told me it was long enough. She wanted me to make a commitment and get married or else she'd find someone who was willing to start a family with her. I thought it over Samantha and you know what I was worried. Worried I'd be alone in the world and she was the closest chance I'd have for happiness, so I settled. I never felt an ounce towards her of what I feel with you. If I knew the things I do know, and could go back."  
  
"Jack don't" I shake my head, moving my fingers to his lips to hush him. "You don't have to explain yourself and your first marriage to me."  
  
"I want to though. I want to share with you so much. Do you realize how little I really know about you?"  
  
"That's not true."  
  
"It is" he tells me. "There's so much I want to learn and live for. You're the world to me Sam."  
  
"Jack you don't have to worry about me running off and leaving" I reassure him. "It's just been a lot of stress and a lot of emotions running dry because of the pregnancy."  
  
"I know" he answers, moving his arm around me as he pulls me close against him. "I love you so much."  
  
"I love you too." I whisper out, feeling his lips on my neck and a soft sigh escape my mouth.  
  
The doorbell causes me to jump and Jack eyes me peculiarly. "Delivery?"  
  
"Martin left a message on my cell phone. He wanted to stop by because I left this morning to see how I was doing."  
  
"You didn't call him back?"  
  
"No I just got the message before you came in."  
  
"Shit" Jack whispers out.  
  
"He's going to find out soon enough we're pregnant" I remind him. "Might as well be now."  
  
"Sam" his eyes watch me. "Are you sure? This could destroy our careers if he goes crying the blues to daddy."  
  
"I'm aware."  
  
"Let me get the door then." Jack stands up, opening the door as I turn my head from on the couch to see Martin with a look of surprise on his face.  
  
"Jack, Samantha" he nods towards both of us, startled to see Jack here. "I thought you were sick." He questions Jack.  
  
"Personal day" he explains and Jack looks to me. Am I supposed to tell Martin? Just great. It's a lot easier to tell a friend who has no interest in you that one that does. I hate breaking people's hearts.  
  
"Everything ok?" Martin glances to Jack and then to me. "You left in quite a rush this morning."  
  
"Van Doren" I explain. "She had some things she needed me to attend to."  
  
"I see." He answers, although I have a feeling he really doesn't know what's going on. Especially given the confused face he's making. "I suppose if you're alright then I should be going." He makes his way back to the door, completely uncomfortable with being here.  
  
I stand up and Jack takes a seat on the couch. I stop Martin at the door, "thanks for coming by."  
  
"No problem" he smiles with that look of boyish agility and I know I have to tell him.  
  
"Martin" I whisper out, I feel my breath catch in my throat and I'm at a loss for the words to escape my mouth. I feel Jack's arms on my shoulders. He must have gotten up sometime in my silence.  
  
"Martin" Jack continues, "Samantha's pregnant."  
  
"Wow" he looks taken aback by the news as the wheels turn in his mind. The realization dawns on him that I've been sleeping with someone, and it's not him. He looks stricken and hurt but there's nothing I can do to help. "Congratulations" he tells me.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"When are you due?"  
  
"Not for another six months." I answer.  
  
"I know that it's not any of my business, but it's not Kellar's is it?"  
  
"No" I laugh softly, slightly relieved he hasn't figured it out. He slips out of my apartment and I feel less stressed and more relieved. I shut the door, falling into Jack's arms for a hug. "He's either very good at playing dumb or incredibly naïve."  
  
"Does it matter?" Jack points out.  
  
"I guess not" I feel his heart beating against mine and I close my eyes enjoying his strong warm embrace. He presses a kiss to the top of my head, his hands gently splayed across my lower back.  
  
"You want to do dinner? Or should I leave?"  
  
"Stay" I answer.  
  
"You know Sam, Martin is pretty amusing."  
  
"Why do you say that?"  
  
"He comes to your apartment and sees the boss there. He doesn't question it and doesn't pretend to be here on a case."  
  
"That's normally your job" I tease.  
  
"Right. I'm just saying he's willing to be here just to be here, that says a lot about his character."  
  
"And why are you pointing this out? You want him to be the father?"  
  
"Hardly" he squeezes me tight and we link hands as we walk into the kitchen, pulling out a list of takeout restaurants. "I'm just saying he's a lot nicer then I gave him credit for."  
  
I roll my eyes and glance down at the menus. "What'll it be?" I interrupt his line of thinking.  
  
Jack glances over my shoulder, "what do you have a craving for?" He questions. I glance into his eyes and see a wicked grin on his face.  
  
"What?" I question, not sure what he's getting at.  
  
"Nothing" he dismisses it with a laugh. "You pick" he tells me again.  
  
"Pizza?" I glance towards Jack. "Does that work for you?"  
  
"I was thinking more along the lines of us picking something up from a restaurant. But if you want to order delivery." His smile widens.  
  
"You order" I tell him, handing him the phone, "I need to use the bathroom." 


	37. Chapter 37

"I was thinking more along the lines of us picking something up from a restaurant. But if you want to order delivery." His smile widens.  
  
"You order" I tell him, handing him the phone, "I need to use the bathroom."  
  
******  
  
We spend the rest of the evening cuddled up on the sofa eating pizza.  
  
"It's getting late" I remind him. I feel Jack's hands tenderly rubbing my stomach as my body leans into his.  
  
"Yes it is. You ready for bed?" I feel his mouth press a soft kiss to my ear as I nod my head in affirmation.  
  
Jack helps me to my feet, walking with me into the bedroom as I strip out of my work clothes and into some pajamas.  
  
I lie down in bed, half-asleep by the time I realize Jack is sitting on the edge of my bed. "Sam" his voice is a soft whisper.  
  
"Stay" I tell him.  
  
"I don't have any work clothes here for the morning."  
  
"You can get up a little early and head home for then" I answer, rolling on my side to face him.  
  
"And pajamas?"  
  
"Sleep naked" I tease, a wide smile spread across my face as I feel the bed move about as he pulls off his clothes from the day. My eyes are shut, too tired to keep them open as I feel him slip between the sheets. My arms instantly reach out to touch his bare skin. "You still have underwear on" I counter.  
  
"You have clothes on" he reminds me.  
  
"Yeah" I mumble out with a yawn, feeling his arms envelope me as he holds me close. I drift off to sleep, feeling content and at peace.  
  
As the morning light shines through the curtains I roll into Jack's warm body, feeling as though this will truly be a good day. My eyes peek open, curious to the morning hour. "Jack" I whisper out, running my hand along his chest, "you ought to head back" I remind him.  
  
"Already?" He yawns and rolls closer against me, squeezing my body to his. "Too comfortable" he mumbles out.  
  
"We'll both be late otherwise" I remind him.  
  
He scoots to the edge of the bed, sitting up. His hair is spiky and all of over the place. I smile at his body as I roll towards him, running my hand along his back.  
  
"Sam" his voice is warm and heavy, he's still trying to wake up.  
  
"I need to shower. You going to come in with me?" I question. I head towards the bathroom, glancing back for his answer.  
  
"We shouldn't. Especially after the last time."  
  
"You're no fun" I retort.  
  
"I know" he moves towards the bathroom, his hands snaking its way around my waist and over my ass, as he pulls my body close against him. His mouth hovers above mine, as I feel the energy radiating off him.  
  
"Jack" I whisper out, hating to be teased and I lean my head up, capturing his lips with mine. "Now go" my eyes meet his.  
  
"I'll see you at the office Agent Spade" he teases, as I push him towards the door.  
  
"You better" I whisper out, waving him off as I head into the bathroom to get ready.  
  
I make my way into the office, nodding towards Danny as I see him immerge with a smile on my face.  
  
I head towards my desk, glancing through the immense about of paperwork left behind.  
  
"I can't believe you told him" Danny whispers out.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Martin. You should have seen how devastated he was."  
  
"He would have found out sooner or later. Isn't it better I told him last night then let him find out when I'm showing?"  
  
Danny shakes his head with a sigh. I glance up to see Martin heading in from Jack's office. How did Jack show up before me? I let out a sigh, curious but glad it'll ease any suspicions, although I'm fairly confident everyone in the office knows by now. Well almost everyone, I haven't told Vivian yet.  
  
Jack makes his way over towards us. He hovers above my desk, "good morning" he tells me before I stand up, heading over to where Vivian and Danny are seated. Martin joins us a few seconds later as we go over what we already know on the case.  
  
"We still don't have a solid location for Avery. Her parents live out in Illinois so we're sending a few agents from the Chicago field office to investigate." Danny tells us.  
  
"Justin hasn't seemed to offer us too much information. We know the reason for the breakup between him and Emily" Vivian tells us.  
  
"What?" I question.  
  
"Apparently he was sleeping around."  
  
"Oh" my eyes widen in surprise. "That would make sense then" I point out, "why she was upset and possibly for her disappearance."  
  
"Samantha that's not the half of it" Vivian eyes me seriously. "It was with another guy, who happened to be her best friend."  
  
"Oh" my lips form the 'o' and my mouth hangs open in surprise.  
  
"So maybe Emily ran away."  
  
"No" Martin shakes his head. "Avery went to see Justin after her disappearance. He said Avery was a mess and in hysterics. She wouldn't tell him what happened just that Emily was gone. She ran out in tears when she found out Emily wasn't in there with Justin and he hadn't heard from her."  
  
"So that leaves us with two missing people." I point out.  
  
"Except we know Avery ran away. Or we can assume as much. Obviously her things are gone, so she left town. I'm thinking she went home, someplace safe and familiar." Vivian answers.  
  
"But why did she run away? What happened that night downtown that had her in tears and worried about her friend?" I question.  
  
"Whatever it is, it's not good." Jack points out.  
  
Van Doren makes her way over, "good to see everyone here today" she greets us. "I got a call this morning from the Chicago Field Office, Avery's been home. Jack I want you to send two of your people to Chicago and see what we can find. In the meantime I suggest trying the clubs and bars here downtown."  
  
Van Doren walks off and Jack eyes me. "Samantha you'll come with me to Chicago. I want Danny to canvas the bars, Martin you try the clubs. Vivian you should head back to Emily's dorm and search through there. Also see if we missed anything at her parents home."  
  
Danny, Vivian and Martin stand up to go about their tasks. "Jack" I whisper out. "Are you sure we should be going to Chicago?"  
  
"Someone needs to question Avery. You've got a good ear" he reminds me. "If something happened that night, I have a feeling you're the person she'll confide in."  
  
I nod in agreement. After grabbing our overnight bags from the car, we hop on a direct flight to O'Hare. We make our way to the Brooke residence, knocking swiftly on the door.  
  
"We're with the FBI. I'm Agent Malone this is Agent Spade" we flash our badges and are invited inside.  
  
"Yes you all were here yesterday looking for our daughter."  
  
"Is she home? We have some questions to ask her."  
  
"Aves" The mother calls up the stairs.  
  
"Just a sec" a minute or two later I hear quick footsteps trekking down the stairs and long blonde hair floating with it. For a mere second I see an eerie parallel between the girl and myself at her age. I quickly dismiss any connection and push it to the back of my mind as fast as I can.  
  
"I'm Samantha Spade and this is Jack Malone we're with the FBI" I tell her.  
  
"Yeah?" She questions, looking me up and down. "Why are you here?" Her eyes hold a hint of curiosity and something else, fear?  
  
"We're looking into Emily Richards disappearance. What can you tell us about the last time you saw her?"  
  
She lets out a sigh and looks towards the ground. "It's uh." she lets out a sigh and glances towards me apprehensively. "Could we go outside and talk?"  
  
"Sure" I respond. Avery's eyes meet Jack's and he glances towards me.  
  
"Maybe I should wait in here, speak with her parents."  
  
"Please" she whispers out in a hush, obviously uncomfortable with the situation as it is.  
  
Avery takes me out her back door and heads on over towards a wooden double seated glider. "Sit" she tells me. I take a seat next to her and feel the wooden bench moving back and forth.  
  
"You want to tell me what happened to Emily?"  
  
"I don't..know" she stammers her voice lost and far away.  
  
"Tell me what you do know." 


	38. Chapter 38

Avery takes me out her back door and heads on over towards a wooden double seated glider. "Sit" she tells me. I take a seat next to her and feel the wooden bench moving back and forth.  
  
"You want to tell me what happened to Emily?"  
  
"I don't..know" she stammers her voice lost and far away.  
  
"Tell me what you do know."  
  
***********  
  
"Emily called me up crying her eyes out. She was devastated with Justin and completely emotional. He was her first love and he was also" she lets out a sigh and pauses, "this really strange guy. Now that I think about it."  
  
We stop swinging momentarily as she leans back, remembering the scene unfold in her mind.  
  
"I told her on Saturday I'd come up to visit and we'd go dancing. I lived about twenty minutes away from her." Avery lets out a sigh. "We went to the bars in our area but we weren't wasted yet. We just had enough to get us in the right frame of mind. To cheer Emily up. We figured the night was still young so we took the train downtown to Amnesia."  
  
"The night club."  
  
"Yeah." She lets out a sigh, glances towards her house and then straight ahead, starring into oblivion. "Things got out of hand. When you dance there, it's not really just about dancing. The guys there can get pretty rough and grope you. It never bothered Emily but I didn't really want to go in the first place. Usually when we'd go dancing I'd bring one of my close guy friends, it would make the situation more enjoyable for me."  
  
"But you didn't bring anyone else?"  
  
"No" I shake my head. "It was just the two of us. Emily was still pretty upset so she had a few more drinks to erase the pain" her laughter is dark, revealing her real pain. "The guys started getting rough. Two of them were dancing with her, running their hands all over her body, touching her" she pauses blinking her eyes and trying to hide her emotions. She shifts in the seat, obviously this is difficult for her to talk about.  
  
"It's ok" I tell her, gently squeezing her hand that's gripping her knee pale white. "What happened?" I press on.  
  
"I pulled her away. I knew when she was sober she'd regret even being there with these other guys. I know her and Justin got into a big fight and for good reason" she pauses, "but being with these other guys wasn't going to make it right." She lets out a soft sigh.  
  
"So you tried to get her to leave?"  
  
"Yeah except she didn't want to go. She liked the way they were making her feel. That's always how she was, loved the attention and would do anything for it. I on the other hand was wearing a skirt, and you never do that going to a club" she laughs darkly shaking her head and wiping the tears in her eyes. "His hands were all over and I had to get out of there. Emily was no help. She wanted to stay so I let her. I took a train home and was in tears the whole way. The only reason I went was to hang out with her, and instead I had to run to get away."  
  
She closes her red rimmed eyes. Tears are freely flowing down her cheeks. I move my hand to wipe them away. "Is that the last time you saw her?"  
  
"Yeah" she nods, "but it was the same night as the fire."  
  
"What?" My eyes widen and my heart skips a beat. "Shit" I blurt out, how could we forget the tragic and deadly nightclub fire that took so many lives a few months prior.  
  
"I'm not certain she was even still there. For all I know she could have left with one of the guys but."  
  
"You never heard from her" I answer. She nods her head, moving her face into my shoulder for comfort. "Did you tell your parents?" I question.  
  
"How could I?" Her eyes meet mine and she shakes her head. "They don't know half of what Emily and I got into. They still think I'm an angel, they just don't realize I've been hanging out with the devil all along."  
  
"Avery" I whisper out, "you should tell them. Even if you don't tell them everything they should know what you've been through." I point out. I can feel Jack's words in my head and body and silently laugh at the thought.  
  
"I know."  
  
"I have one more question for you."  
  
"Yeah?" Her tears have subsided as she lets out a breath obviously still overwhelmed with pain and guilt.  
  
"Did she have her ID on her?"  
  
"No" Avery shakes her head. "I had both of ours with me. Do you think she's dead?"  
  
"I don't know" I answer her, feeling the heavy burden and even in this midst of pain at least we may have an answer for the family. "Come on let's head inside."  
  
We make our way indoors and Avery's parents immediately pull her into their embrace. "We have all we need" I tell her folks. Jack and I head out of their house and into the car.  
  
"What have you got?" He eyes me as we take a seat behind the wheel of the rental car.  
  
"Remember the nightclub fire at Amnesia?"  
  
"Yeah vaguely" he nods his head as his eyes widen, "you're not thinking she's one of the victims?"  
  
"She was there that night. Unless she went home with some guy who might have miraculously saved her life" I let out a sigh.  
  
"Even then" Jack reminds me, "she still could have met an awful fate."  
  
"Worse then dying in a burning building?" I feel my own emotions taking hold and I glance out the window trying to let them die down.  
  
"Samantha" Jack's voice is soft and warm. I feel his hand reaching out to mine as we head towards the airport.  
  
"What now?" I question, wiping the tears away as quickly as they've fallen.  
  
"We'll send our team to the morgue." He answers. I nod my head, knowing it's the ultimate fear and also a reality. We can't save them all, and even when we try we don't always succeed. 


	39. Chapter 39

"What now?" I question, wiping the tears away as quickly as they've fallen.  
  
"We'll send our team to the morgue." He answers. I nod my head, knowing it's the ultimate fear and also a reality. We can't save them all, and even when we try we don't always succeed.  
  
************  
  
After a long day at work, and discovering Emily Richards as Jane Doe I curl up under the blankets and turn on the television. I feel Jack's body behind mine, his arm draped over my stomach holding me close.  
  
"How do you do it?" I whisper out, feeling the events of today taking a toll on not only my emotions but also on my physical well being.  
  
"I have you here" he answers, pressing a kiss to my cheek. I feel his body holding me close as I shut my eyes for a moment reveling in the togetherness we share.  
  
"Can you help me with something this week?"  
  
"Sure" Jack answers, "what'd you have in mind?"  
  
"Moving my stuff into your place." I answer. I roll around in his arms to see his response. "That is if you still want me?" I feel a smile playing on my lips.  
  
"Of course I want you Sam. Although I want Agent Spade too. I hope that won't be a problem" he teases, moving his mouth closer to mine.  
  
"I think we can work it out" I answer, encapturing his warm lips.  
  
My hands roam against his back holding him close against me. His fingers dance along my side beneath my shirt. "That feels nice" I tell him, feeling a small smile form on the corner of my lips.  
  
"Good" he answers, pressing a soft kiss to my lips. "What's on your mind?"  
  
"The case" I remind him. "I keep thinking, what if we knew sooner then maybe."  
  
"What? Samantha we couldn't have changed what happened. You know that" he points out. "Besides think of it this way." He rolls onto his side, shifting me onto my back. His body is close up against mine. "If Emily wouldn't have died, Avery would still be caught up in their strange behaviors and."  
  
"Yeah I know. No one should ever have to go through what Emily did though, being burned alive."  
  
"No they shouldn't. Although isn't that the case for a lot of our disappearances? Going through horrible events that sometimes result in death. It's not really all that different."  
  
"Yeah but this one."  
  
"Why was it different?" His eyes watch mine as I stare up at the ceiling and shift my gaze towards him.  
  
"I saw both Emily and Avery in me" I shake my head. "I know it sounds crazy but I wasn't exactly the model child" I remind him.  
  
"Yeah I know" he runs his hand along my arm and up neck. "It scared you? Didn't it?"  
  
I nod, shutting my eyes as I feel his soft fingers roaming into my hair. "Yes" I whisper out. "It scared me to know that I could be lying in a morgue with no one looking for me."  
  
"Oh Samantha" his arms pull me against him, as I lie limp in his arms, feeling tears burn down my face. "You know that's not true. There are so many people that care about you."  
  
"I know" I nod, "but I mean when I was Emily's age." I answer. "No one cared about me then. No one would have noticed if I would have disappeared."  
  
"Avery noticed" he points out, "and she showed her concern. I'm sure you had friends that would have been the same way."  
  
"Yeah I suppose." I close my eyes letting out a soft sigh. I feel Jack's fingers moving to my face, softly tracing the creamy white complexion.  
  
"Sam" I feel Jack's voice vibrating against my body. My eyes open to glance towards him. "they don't all end this way."  
  
"I know" I nod my head, "I just hate when they do."  
  
"The good comes with the bad" he points out.  
  
"Jack" I whisper out, running my hand along my forehead, "what are we going to do when the baby comes?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"There's not enough room here" I tell him.  
  
"For awhile we can have the bassinet in here" he answers. "And if it's a boy we'll have to make arrangements for when he gets older, but" he smiles with a warm grin, "if it's a girl we could get bunkbeds and take out one of the twin beds."  
  
"You don't think Hannah and Kate would get jealous?"  
  
"As opposed to our daughter getting her own room? I think if we have a son he'll need his privacy but otherwise I don't see why we can't have three girls in one room."  
  
"It'll be chaos" I state.  
  
"And it isn't already?"  
  
"Point taken" I answer. I sit up, feeling my skin perspire and my stomach knot. "Ugh" I groan out, feeling hot and sticky as I close my eyes and lie back down.  
  
"What's wrong?" Jack questions, moving his hand to my forehead.  
  
"I feel sick" I whisper out, my hand clutching my stomach.  
  
"You haven't had morning sickness. You think it's the flu?" He runs his hand softly through my hair as I gently push him away. "Sorry" he tells me.  
  
"I've been feeling this way the past three weeks."  
  
"What? Why haven't you said anything?" His voice holds concern.  
  
"I haven't thrown up yet" I laugh softly, "I figured it'd go away as quickly as it came on." I close my eyes letting out a soft breath, feeling the color slowly returning to my cheeks.  
  
"You know" Jack whispers out, moving his hand down my arm and then stopping, "sorry."  
  
"No it's fine" I answer. "I'm feeling better" my eyes meet his. "Tell me what you were going to say."  
  
"Oh yeah. Would you want to help decorate the girl's room? When Hannah and Kate are here, maybe that would help in the bonding process."  
  
"Maybe" I smile slightly glancing out the window. "What if they don't ever like me? Having a baby isn't going to help me win them over."  
  
"We talked about this before" he runs his hand through my hair. "It'll take time but it'll all work out."  
  
"Jack" I whisper out, "when are we going to tell our parents?" He shifts on the bed, his body language screaming out he's uncomfortable. "Jack?" I question, glancing deep into his eyes.  
  
"My mother died when I was sixteen. My father and I don't exactly get along."  
  
"I'm sorry" I move my hand to his, squeezing it gently before pressing a soft kiss to his lips. "You don't speak to your father at all?"  
  
"It's been a while. He's not exactly the easiest person to get along with."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I really don't want to talk about it."  
  
"Ok."  
  
"He just doesn't bring back good memories."  
  
"Jack remember what you told me, you've got to take the bad to get the good."  
  
"Yeah" his lips form upwards a tinge. "It's just hard."  
  
"What is?" I gently press the issue on.  
  
"Remembering the good back then. Sam" he pauses his voice catching in his throat. "My mother killed herself and my father" his eyes are tearing up in pain, I roll towards him, my hand moving softly against his back. "My father, from the day I was born, never acted as though he loved me. He came in late from work, drunk four nights a week and smelled of cheap perfume."  
  
"Jack" I move my hand to his.  
  
"He always scolded her, told her he was too good for her. Too good for all of us."  
  
"You know that's not true." Jack nods as the tears fall down his cheeks. I lean my lips against his wet face, kissing away the pain.  
  
"It still hurts though." He tells me with a sigh, closing his eyes as I lean against his lips, trying to rid him of the ache, which fills his heart. Our kiss breaks apart as his eyes meet mine.  
  
"That's why you wanted your marriage to last so much?" I question.  
  
"I didn't want to be my father."  
  
"You're not." I reassure him. "You're the most caring and compassionate man I know."  
  
"But I am like him."  
  
"No you're not." I shake my head, my eyes meeting his steadily.  
  
"I slept with you while I was married."  
  
"I'd like to think that was about more than just sex. At least let me think that" I tell him with a laugh.  
  
"You know it was" he moves his lips to mine for another treat. His head rests against mine and his eyes open as we hold one another close. "Sam."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Tell me about your family."  
  
My eyes widen in horror. "Oh no" I shake my head with a smile, "don't expect to hear some picture perfect family."  
  
"I know" he nods, his hand slipping beneath my shirt against my back. His hand softly rubs circles along my skin. "You told me once you ran away when you were younger, why?"  
  
"Jack you don't want to hear my sad stories."  
  
"Yes I do." He nods, clinging tight to my body. 


	40. Chapter 40

"Jack you don't want to hear my sad stories."  
  
"Yes I do." He nods, clinging tight to my body.  
  
*********  
  
"My father" I whisper out, my eyes glancing out the window, "he never wanted a child, least of all a daughter."  
  
"He told that to you?"  
  
"He showed me" I whisper out. "I use to hear my parents arguing and the walls would shake. I always felt that something was wrong. Something was going on behind the bedroom door but I never" I shiver at the thought, "I didn't admit to myself what it was."  
  
"He was physically violent?"  
  
I nod, feeling my tears threatening me. "I walked into their bedroom in the middle of a fight one time. I defended my mother because I was the one who didn't take out the garbage the night before. You know Jack I never once saw a bruise on her face. Maybe I didn't want to see it. Maybe she hid it really well. The minute I came through the door and confessed he."  
  
"Oh god Samantha" his hands hold me close and comfort me.  
  
"I didn't want to stick around. My parents went to sleep that night and I snuck out of the house. Maybe I wanted to be found but I didn't want to be living with them." I tell him. "When I left I shut the front door pretty rough. It woke them both up."  
  
"Was your dad pissed when your mother found you?"  
  
"He wasn't home" I answer. "I told my mother I wanted to go home but not to him. She already kicked him out and suspected he wouldn't be back until morning. I was so afraid he'd find me first."  
  
"What happened in the morning?"  
  
"We got a call from his mistress" I laugh at the ironic words, who would have thought I would have become Jack's mistress? "She wanted to tell us he was having an affair. I don't know why really, maybe she didn't see the awful side of him that I grew up with. When my father came home, my mom kicked him out. Told him she didn't want to be part of a marriage that only resulted in pain; physical or emotional."  
  
"So she left him?"  
  
"He left us actually. There was another big fight. I was at school at the time. When I came home his clothes were gone and I haven't heard from him since."  
  
"It's probably good he left."  
  
"Yeah" I nod, my eyes finally meeting Jack's. I suddenly feel uncomfortable with his hands on me. I slide away from his body and sit up. "I'll be back" I state, glancing around the room before heading into the bathroom. I lock the door, taking a seat on the closed toilet lid. My head falls into my hands as I feel suddenly overwhelmed.  
  
"Sam?" I hear Jack's soft voice as he knocks gently on the bathroom door.  
  
I stand up, unlocking the door and staring at Jack. "I'm sorry I'm just dealing with a lot right now." I tell him. I head back towards the bed, slipping between the covers.  
  
"We both are" he reassures me. "I was thinking maybe it would be good if you worked part-time until the baby arrives and then we can decide how we'll handle things. Maybe your mother could watch our little boy or girl while we."  
  
"Out of the question."  
  
"Why?" Jack questions softly. He sits beside me, his eyes intently looking into mine.  
  
"You know I'm not from New York" I point out. "My mother lives pretty far away."  
  
He lets out a breath. "You're right. I didn't exactly think things through. She could get an apartment?"  
  
"It's out of the question. She doesn't know how to raise a child."  
  
"She raised you" Jack reminds me.  
  
My eyes widen in amusement, "and you want our children raised by her?"  
  
"I was thinking just the first one" he teases. "Alright. It was just a suggestion. Although I'm serious about you only working part-time."  
  
"Jack" it comes out more as a whine than me pleading. I'm not sure which is worse.  
  
"You should be getting more rest and be under less stress. The case we just finished up proves to me."  
  
"Jack stop" I shake my head. "You can't treat me as a subordinate while we're in bed."  
  
"I'm not" he lets out a sigh, leaning back against the pillows beside me. "I'm trying to look out for what's in your best interest. We've already had to make one unexpected doctors visit. Let's not have to make another."  
  
"Finding a missing person isn't a part-time job" I point out. "If I agree, will I have to do paperwork all the time?"  
  
"No" he shakes his head. "As long as the cases won't put you or the baby in jeopardy."  
  
"Jack" I groan out. "You can't protect me from every little."  
  
"I haven't yet" he interrupts me. "I just don't want to put our daughter or son in danger."  
  
"I agree. If I work part-time, is there any chance you will too?"  
  
"We can't afford it" he answers. "Besides someone has to head the unit full-time."  
  
"I know. It was worth a shot" I answer with a soft laugh.  
  
We're both silent for a moment and I feel Jack's fingers moving the hair behind my ear. "I'm sorry I upset you earlier." I eye him peculiarly. "Talking about your dad."  
  
"Yeah" I nod, "it's fine. It's nice to have someone who will listen." I lean into his hand as he cups my cheek.  
  
"I know the feeling" he answers, moving his lips to mine for another sweet kiss. His eyes watch me as he rests his head near mine against the pillow. "Can I ask you something?"  
  
"Yes, always."  
  
"You told me I was the first person you fell in love with."  
  
"Yeah" I nod at the recollection.  
  
"I guess I'm curious about that."  
  
I let out a soft laugh. "You would be" I tease. "Nothing like helping your ego" I playfully push him onto his back, moving to hover partially over his body. "Before you, I never allowed myself to fall in love. I was too afraid of rejection and being hurt. I was too afraid of being left vulnerable or clinging to something that was in pain. I vowed I would never fall in love and I guess I broke that vow when you broke yours. Sorry" I wince at my words.  
  
"It's okay" he answers.  
  
"I suppose I knew I wasn't supposed to love you and that gave me all the more reason to fall in love. There was something about you that drew me in from the moment I first met you. I wasn't in love with you in that exact moment, I don't believe in love at first sight but I won't deny an attraction that held on something deeper then sexuality and lust."  
  
"You liked what you saw?" His grin spreads across his face.  
  
"Yes. It wasn't just that though Jack. There was something about you. Your dedication to your work and your family, I admired that."  
  
"I screwed it up" he laughs warmly.  
  
"Is that why you waited to tell me about your separation?"  
  
"Yeah and I didn't know how to tell you. You were with Dr. Fred."  
  
"I was? Oh yeah, I was" I answer shaking my head, not believing a word coming from my own mouth.  
  
"Are you telling me there was no Dr. Fred?"  
  
"He existed. I dated him once maybe twice. He wanted what I couldn't give him."  
  
"Which is what?"  
  
"My heart. It already belonged to you. I just was only realizing it then. Besides you wanted to work things out with Marie" I remind him.  
  
"I was stupid."  
  
"No you weren't" I counter. "If you wouldn't have tried to make things work, you'd have regretted it the rest of your life. I know you Jack. You don't take failure as an option."  
  
He smiles in response, moving his mouth to mine for another tender kiss. A yawn escapes my lips and Jack smiles towards me. "You want me to shut off the light?"  
  
"Would you mind?" I question. He slips out of bed, the room cast in darkness as I feel the bed dipping and Jack's warm body moving to lie beside mine.  
  
"Goodnight Sam" I feel his warm breath against my cheek.  
  
"Night" I answer, feeling his arm slip along my body holding me close as I drift off to sleep. 


	41. Chapter 41

He smiles in response, moving his mouth to mine for another tender kiss. A yawn escapes my lips and Jack smiles towards me. "You want me to shut off the light?"  
  
"Would you mind?" I question. He slips out of bed, the room cast in darkness as I feel the bed dipping and Jack's warm body moving to lie beside mine.  
  
"Goodnight Sam" I feel his warm breath against my cheek.  
  
"Night" I answer, feeling his arm slip along my body holding me close as I drift off to sleep.  
  
********  
  
I awaken to a cold empty bed, my eyes glancing around the room. "Jack?" I whisper out, curious where he went off to. I slip out of bed, heading into the living room to see Jack in his pajamas and reading the newspaper.  
  
"Morning" he tells me.  
  
"Mmm yeah aren't we going to be late for work?" I question. "I scheduled for us to both to be off today." He tells me.  
  
"What? We can't. We already missed one day this week because of our fight" I remind him.  
  
"I know and Van Doren mentioned that it wasn't that big a deal if we didn't come in today. Apparently there's tons of paperwork but no cases on the front line."  
  
"So you saved me from loads of exhaustion" I grin, leaning down and pressing a kiss to his lips.  
  
"That I did." He answers. "Since it's Friday" he grins towards me, "and we have a three day weekend, how about we get started on moving you in."  
  
"There's a lot to do" I point out.  
  
"Waiting till tomorrow won't make it any easier."  
  
"I know" I take a seat beside him on the sofa, resting my head on his shoulder. "The girls won't be mad?"  
  
"They might be" he shrugs, folding the paper and placing it on the table in front of him. "You'll win them over though. Besides you're going to help them decorate their room, remember?"  
  
"And with what? I don't think it's such a good idea I paint anything" I remind him.  
  
"Yeah I know. I thought maybe you could take the girls shopping. They could pick out posters or something to help them feel more at home."  
  
"Shopping?" I whine. "You'll be with me, right?"  
  
"I think it would be good for the three of you to bond."  
  
"And if they run off on me?"  
  
"They know better. Besides you'll be the one with the wallet" he chuckles.  
  
"You won't come along to keep me company?"  
  
"I'll make it up to you" he answers, moving his hand to my thigh suggestively. His fingers dance along my leg, sending warm sensations through my skin.  
  
"Jack" I whisper out, my eyes shutting as a smile plays on my lips.  
  
"You want to start getting ready? Then we can head on over to your place to pack up your things."  
  
"Will you join me?" I question, standing up and pulling Jack off the sofa.  
  
"It's not a good idea."  
  
"Awww come on. Indulge your pregnant fiancé a little" I tease.  
  
I walk backwards towards the bathroom feeling Jack's hands on my waist and his mouth on my neck. My soft moans of encouragement feel the air as I feel my back pressed up against the bathroom door. My hand slips behind me, reaching for the knob as I turn the handle making our way inside. I turn from his grip, allowing his hands to roam along my abdomen as I run the shower water.  
  
"You going to help me get undressed?"  
  
"My favorite part" his eyes smile at me.  
  
"I somehow doubt that" I answer with a soft laugh, feeling his hands tugging the shirt over my head.  
  
"You'd be surprised" he answers, his lips moving down to my neck to gently suck my soft skin as his fingers move down my body, shedding my remaining articles of clothing.  
  
"Jack" I whisper out, my hands roaming through his hair as I pull his mouth to mine for another sweet kiss. "Shower" I remind him, helping him disrobe before pulling him into the shower with me. "Are you ever not in the mood?" I tease, feeling his soapy fingers gently roam down my back.  
  
"I'm just making up for lost time. Besides do you know how long it'll be once the baby's born."  
  
"Don't remind me" I chuckle, dipping my head back beneath the spray. I feel Jack's mouth assault my neck and I can't help but laugh as his hands hold my body still. "Enjoy what you see now" I whisper out, feeling his hands roam down the curves of my body. "It won't be there for long."  
  
"You're already starting to show a little" Jack tells me, pressing kisses down my breasts and over my abdomen as his hands clean my skin with soap. "You look beautiful and afterwards you'll be just as gorgeous to me as before."  
  
"You're so full of shit" I remark.  
  
"Sam I'm serious. Nothing could change the way I feel about you."  
  
"Nothing?" I grin, moving his mouth to mine before grabbing the soap to pay the same special attention to his body as he has mine.  
  
"Nothing" he reaffirms.  
  
We're both quiet for a few moments, feeling over one another's bodies as we shampoo and soap each other's skin. "Jack" I glance into his eyes, "what was your first thought about me when we met?"  
  
His eyes widen as he turns off the faucet and I open the shower curtain, grabbing a towel to dry myself off. "I'm not sure you really want to know."  
  
"It was that bad?" I laugh. "So that's why you assigned yourself to me the first dozen cases or so."  
  
"It wasn't that many I was partnered with you for in the beginning."  
  
"Alright eight maybe ten" I point out. "You didn't trust my competence? You can tell me Jack, I want to know. I promise I won't be mad."  
  
"When you first came into my office I knew you were going to be a handful."  
  
"Is that what you heard from the NYPD?" I grin in response.  
  
"I heard a lot of things" he tells me. "I'm not saying I believed them but when I saw you with my own eyes I could see why so much was said. You were beautiful and intelligent, two lethal combinations. They all knew you were beautiful so they used that against you."  
  
"Jack" my voice raises with a tinge of a smile as he follows me to pull on some clothes. "You still haven't answered my question." I eye him intently, "you gave me this look the minute we met and I knew something was toying in your mind."  
  
"My marriage wasn't a complete disaster then but it wasn't on good terms either. I don't really want to talk about the lack of sex I had but when I saw you, your eyes, your face, your hair, your body" his breathing grows heavy as he slips his shirt over his head and is fully dressed. "I just knew there was something special about you. I wanted to see more of it, so I used my position to get to know you. I know it was awful but I also needed to know how you would work with the team so it gave me an excuse" he smiles towards me. "What about you? What'd you think?"  
  
"As opposed to what I heard?" I grin towards him, buttoning my blouse as his eyes watch my fingers. "They talked about what some would call devotion and others would say obsession. The moment I saw your eyes I saw something telling me it was determination. A promise to find the lost souls of those that disappeared."  
  
His eyes reflect the determination I'm speaking of as he watches over me. "Jack?"  
  
"Hmmm?"  
  
"Do you know how many times I caught you staring?" I laugh softly as I see his eyes widen almost in embarrassment as the thought takes a minute to settle in.  
  
"I know. Sometimes I can't help myself. I just had to look over towards you and as time went on, after our affair" he pauses, not liking the word on his tongue, "I needed to touch you more. I needed to see and reaffirm that you were really there and it wasn't some sort of crazy dream."  
  
"I figured as much. Well that or you were testing the waters and trying to get caught" I tease.  
  
"I never seduced you at work, if that's what you're implying."  
  
"No Jack, that was my job" I cut in. "Remember the desk lamp in your office?" 


	42. Chapter 42

"I never seduced you at work, if that's what you're implying."  
  
"No Jack, that was my job" I cut in. "Remember the desk lamp in your office?"  
  
*******  
  
My smile widens as I remember the office door being slammed shut and Jack ringing me out over protocol. I didn't want to hear it at the time and any other boss would have probably had me fired, transferred or suspended, but not Jack.  
  
Instead he questioned the smug look on my face and I told him it was because of last night. I was too caught up in what we did to be worrying about risking his life. I did what I believed needed to be done, and wasn't that how we got the job done? Wasn't that what it was about? Saving lives? He didn't have room to argue. Instead he watched me with his dark eyes in the faintly lit office of his.  
  
I stepped closer to him, anyone watching would have seen it as a threat after the argument, but not Jack. He stared me down, curious as to what was going on in my head. I wouldn't let him in, wouldn't give him the satisfaction but my body screamed otherwise. My insides craved for him, and my heart wanted him more. I would have been content with just lying in his arms for a few minutes but that was never an option back then.  
  
Instead my body hovered close to his, showing no fear and no regret. My eyes never flinched as I leaned slightly across his desk, my blouse which was buttoned already one too low threatened to show my cleavage. "You can't assume you're always right Jack." I pointed out. "We saved a kid today. How is that wrong?" His eyes watched mine as he bit down on his lower lip, fighting the urge to glance down.  
  
"He could have died."  
  
"So could have you" I pointed out, reminding him why we were in his office and having this argument in the first place. "I did what I knew needed to be done."  
  
"An agents life is worth no more than a civilians" he reminds me.  
  
"Jack" I whispered out, shaking my head as I moved around to where he was sitting. "You can't honestly believe I wouldn't choose to try and save you, even against protocol. I know you may not agree with my decision, but I'm fairly confident if you were in a similar situation."  
  
"I wouldn't be." He answered. "You're still acting like a rookie Agent Spade." His words caught me off guard and in the midst of my anger I moved closer to his body.  
  
"Is that how you still see me? Then why don't you be a frickin mentor" I retorted taking a seat on the edge of his desk.  
  
"Sam. I'm your boss."  
  
"Right" I scoffed. "And you slept with me for what? A chance for a little piece of ass? Was Marie not giving you any? Was that it?" He stood up, ready to what, escort me out of his office?  
  
"Samantha you're being out of line."  
  
"I'm being out of line?" My eyes widened in anger. "You don't know what out of line is" I stood up, meeting his gaze and shoved my mouth hard against his. He was caught off guard, taken aback by my action and the promise I once made to leave the affair out of the office. My hands tugged at his shirt, pulling it from his pants as my hands skimmed the flesh of his stomach and moved down to the zipper of his pants.  
  
"Samantha" his voice choked out, the initial shock finally wore off. I leaned back against his desk, feeling it poking me from behind as his hands roughly scrunched my blouse in his fists. I slipped onto his desk, not paying any attention to the lamp on the corner and hearing it crash to the ground.  
  
"Shit" the words escaped me as my eyes widened, and my face turned pale. I realized the actions of what we were doing and quickly we fixed ourselves up and vowed to speak of no one about the incident.  
  
Funny how his wife asked him about getting a new lamp one day. He told me about it the following day. How he had to lie to her and she must have seen the word adulterer written all over his face. That night I kissed him with a thousand soft breaths of hope, not knowing a few weeks later it would officially be over.  
  
"Samantha" Jack's voice cuts me back into reality as he takes my hand and heads with me into the living room. "I've got some boxes from my move stored in the closet. They're folded down but we can get them to work for your stuff."  
  
"Sounds good" I answer, helping him grab what I can as we head down to his car. 


	43. Chapter 43

"Samantha" Jack's voice cuts me back into reality as he takes my hand and heads with me into the living room. "I've got some boxes from my move stored in the closet. They're folded down but we can get them to work for your stuff."  
  
"Sounds good" I answer, helping him grab what I can as we head down to his car.  
  
********  
  
As Jack helps me box my belongings, his eyes glance over to meet mine. "Maybe we should have called in for reinforcements."  
  
"Yeah it would definitely get the job done faster." I point out.  
  
"I'm thinking more along the lines of lifting all this stuff. You're in no condition and I can't do this on my own."  
  
"We can try Danny and Martin."  
  
"I don't think Martin is exactly moving material and Danny" Jack lets out a breath, before closing up another box. "I feel bad for bothering him."  
  
"So we hire some movers" I suggest. "I know we're trying to save money but if we consider what keeping my apartment would cost."  
  
"True" he nods his head thinking things through. "You know they won't be able to do it right away."  
  
"I could always call some of my friends back at the NYPD." I tease.  
  
"Oh no" Jack shakes his head. "The last thing we need is everyone to know we're engaged."  
  
"They'll find out eventually" I remind him. "Secrets don't stay secret for long."  
  
Jack's phone interrupts us and he quickly glances down at the caller id. "I have to take this" he tells me, standing up and answering the call. "Hello." He slips into my bedroom for privacy and a few short minutes later he's back with the phone slipped into his pocket.  
  
"Who was that?" I question, glancing up from the boxes as I seal another one.  
  
"Marie. Apparently Hannah told Kate you're pregnant."  
  
"She calls you a lot" I remark, gazing his reaction.  
  
"Yes but it always regards the girls."  
  
"I know" I answer, packing a few other items into another box. "Sometimes I wonder if it's not a diversion though."  
  
"What?"  
  
"To get your attention."  
  
"Why would she do that?" Jack eyes me seriously.  
  
"I don't know" I dismiss the thought. "Call me jealous but I know it's not the last time we'll be hearing from her."  
  
"Samantha she's the girl's mother. Besides she hasn't been out of line. The last time she called it was regarding the engagement ring. That was reasonable, right?"  
  
"Yes" I nod.  
  
"This time she wanted to know what to tell Kate. She doesn't understand about babies and all the fine details just yet. She asked if we made up any stories that she'd need to clarify."  
  
"Why would she ask that?" I question.  
  
"Because I might have done that when she was in kindergarten" he grins sheepishly.  
  
"Jack?" My voice raises a notch in amusement as a smile spreads across my face.  
  
"I honestly don't even remember what I told her. It was enough to confuse her though."  
  
"I bet" I remark with a laugh. "You want to call in for delivery?"  
  
"We always seem to do that at your place" he grins.  
  
"I told you I don't cook. Better get used to it." I remind him.  
  
"I'll cook so long as you clean." Jack answers.  
  
I laugh at his response and shake my head in amusement.  
  
"In your dreams" I tell him. "Jack?" His eyes meet mine with a questioning gaze.  
  
"What sweetheart?" His words form a smile on my lips.  
  
"Why are we moving all my stuff to your place? I have three bedrooms." I remind him.  
  
"You do?"  
  
"They're not gigantic but if we rearranged things it would work."  
  
"You have three bedrooms?" He repeats aloud.  
  
"The master bedroom, you've seen that" I take his hand leading him down the hall, "I have a study set up along with the computer. We could put it in the living room or something and I have a guest room across the hall" I show him.  
  
"Wow" he nods his head glancing from one room back to the other.  
  
"It's just an idea. I don't want this to be too much for Hannah and Kate though."  
  
"It wouldn't be. Three bedrooms" he repeats aloud. "You know Samantha you've seen what I have and it's not that much. It would be a lot easier to move my things then yours."  
  
"I think you ought to give yourself more credit" I can't suppress a grin, "You want to start packing your place then?"  
  
"We should, shouldn't we? The neighborhood here is good."  
  
"There's a park two blocks down the road" I offer the suggestion, "we could take the girls there, maybe it'll make it easier to adjust."  
  
"Maybe" Jack answers, helping me to my feet and slipping his arms around my waist, giving me a chaste kiss on the lips.  
  
"What about everything we packed?" I grimace.  
  
"There's a lot you're willing to toss, right? We can still get rid of that."  
  
"What about your furniture?" I let out a sigh, worried about the extra work this will entail.  
  
"You've slept in my bed, is it really that comfortable?"  
  
"Not as comfy as mine" I grin, pulling his hand and dragging him into my bedroom where I plop down against the mattress.  
  
"In the meantime we can move the girls beds to your place and turn the guest room into the nursery."  
  
"So the spare bed just gets chucked?" I shake my head no. "The extra bed is still more comfortable then yours."  
  
"It's a futon" he teases me.  
  
"A comfy one."  
  
"Alright we can leave it in the nursery as a spare bed."  
  
"Deal."  
  
Jack takes a seat beside me on the mattress, leaning back as his eyes watch my stomach. I take his hand in mine, guiding it over my abdomen.  
  
"You can't really feel anything yet." I tell him.  
  
"By the fourth month you should start to." He answers me.  
  
I eye him for a moment then nod, "I forgot you're a pro at this."  
  
"Nah" he shakes his head. "I'm a big baby when it comes to watching."  
  
"At least you won't have to push the baby out of you." I cringe at the thought. Jack's hand moves to my face, relaxing my body.  
  
"It'll be over before you know it."  
  
"Liar" I whisper out, my eyes slipping shut as my lips form upwards in a smile.  
  
"You know we'll need to tell your mother you're pregnant" he reminds me.  
  
"I know." I let out a sigh. "I picked up the phone to do and I just couldn't tell her."  
  
"There's a lot you keep from her?" He questions, already knowing the answer. "Why?"  
  
"We drifted apart when I hit adolescence. Always have been that way ever since. Besides I never really forgave her for what happened I guess. I wanted to but every time I thought about it." my eyes slip shut as I feel Jack's fingers over and down my face. His lips replace his fingers, with a soft trail of kisses.  
  
"You should call her. Invite her up for the weekend." Jack suggests.  
  
"And do what? Tell her I'm pregnant?"  
  
"For starters you could introduce her to me and to the girls." Jack suggests.  
  
"How are Hannah and Kate going to handle it?"  
  
"They'll be alright with it. Besides wouldn't it be nice to see your mother again?" Jack's fingers tease through my hair, softly relaxing me.  
  
"She's not exactly the easiest person to get along with."  
  
"I'll be here to help you out." Jack reassures me. "Besides won't she be happy to hear you're having her grandchild?"  
  
"You really want me to tell her?"  
  
"That's what I'm saying" Jack answers.  
  
"How about I tell her about us, and you tell her about the baby."  
  
"Are you really that afraid of your mother?"  
  
"I'm not afraid of her."  
  
"Sounds that way to me" his voice is teasing but somehow I feel it's true.  
  
"Fine we tell her. When do you want me to invite her here? Shouldn't we wait till you're moved in?"  
  
"Alright make it a month from today."  
  
"Jack" I whine out.  
  
"Oh come on, any longer and when she comes she'll meet her grandson or granddaughter" he laughs softly. "Besides you'll be somewhere along four months pregnant. You'll be showing a little by then."  
  
I let out a soft sigh, "if I call her and do this" I pause, feeling a smile tug at my lips instantly, "you should be doing something for me."  
  
"Don't I always?" Jack teases. He presses a soft kiss to my lips, "all you need do is ask."  
  
I lift the phone off the table, holding it between my hands.  
  
"It can't be that hard. You want me to call her?" I begin to hand over the phone and stop.  
  
"I can handle it." I dial the number and wait for her to answer. "Hi mom."  
  
"How are you Sam?"  
  
"Samantha" I whine out, "I'm good." Jack watches me as I roll into his embrace. "Will you come visit? I want you to meet someone."  
  
"Who dear?"  
  
"Jack" I answer.  
  
"That FBI Agent?"  
  
"Yeah we're moving in together." I tell her, biting down on my lower lip.  
  
"Why are you doing that?"  
  
"Because I love him" I tell her. "I know you don't understand, I just thought" I pause letting out a soft sigh, "I'm pregnant mom."  
  
"Pregnant?" She repeats the words aloud with a hint of curiosity.  
  
"Yes. I'm having his baby."  
  
"I didn't miss the wedding did I?"  
  
"No" I smile softly, glancing into Jack's eyes before closing mine.  
  
"How far along are you?"  
  
"Three months" I answer. "We were hoping you'd come to visit next month, if its not too much trouble."  
  
"I think I can manage a few days off. I have to get going Sam" she tells me. "I'll call you though with my flight arrangements."  
  
"Bye mom" I whisper out, before hanging up the phone. I brush away the few tears that have silently fallen and feel Jack's hands softly running along my arms.  
  
"You ok?" His voice is soft and full of concern.  
  
"Yeah I think so." I close my eyes, leaning into his body for his comfort. "How did she know who you were" I let out a sigh, "maybe she just figured."  
  
"I called her once." Jack interrupts my thoughts. My eyes open to glance into his.  
  
"When? Why?" I shake my head confused.  
  
"You were gone" he lets out a sigh. "It was after the Annie and Siobhan disappearances.you had me really worried."  
  
"I went back to Carol Miller's home, to give her Annie's movie."  
  
"I know" Jack nods. "It was after that, although I was worried about you during the whole caseload."  
  
"I was alright" I answer, closing my eyes remembering the pain and trying to uncover who did it. "So why my house?" I question.  
  
"I called your apartment and your cell phone. You didn't answer either. I dropped by to see how you were and got no response."  
  
"Yeah I wasn't home" I shake off the thought of where I was, such a dark and desolate place in my life.  
  
"I called your mother hoping maybe she could shed some light on it. The last thing I wanted to do was start a timeline and have to retrace where you went."  
  
"What'd my mother say?" I glance into his eyes curious.  
  
"You weren't home. She mentioned she hadn't seen or heard from you that week but she knew you would call."  
  
"I didn't" I whisper out, wiping away a few more tears. "I wanted to Jack. I wanted to tell her everything I couldn't. I didn't want to be like Annie, having my mother knowing how I felt only after I was dead." I feel Jack's hands moving into my hair to soothe me. He presses a soft kiss to my cheek, drying my eyes.  
  
"She knows you love her." Jack tells me. "She's not such an awful woman. At least not from what I heard."  
  
"Yeah" I laugh shaking my head. "You didn't grow up with her."  
  
"No I didn't" he answers. We're both quiet, lost in our thoughts for several minutes before Jack looks down at me. "You never answered my question."  
  
"About what?"  
  
"Where you were the night we found Siobhan."  
  
"I feel like a suspect" I chide, slipping out from Jack's embrace. "I need to use the bathroom."  
  
"Samantha you're avoiding again."  
  
"I know. I do it so well" I prompt before shutting the bathroom door and using the facilities. 


	44. Chapter 44

"Where you were the night we found Siobhan."  
  
"I feel like a suspect" I chide, slipping out from Jack's embrace. "I need to use the bathroom."  
  
"Samantha you're avoiding again."  
  
"I know. I do it so well" I prompt before shutting the bathroom door and using the facilities.  
  
******  
  
As Saturday arrives, Jack makes the arrangements for the moving company to collect his things. We schedule the move for two weeks from today before Jack heads out to pick up the girls.  
  
"You want to come with me?" Jack questions as he grabs his keys and wallet from the counter.  
  
"I'll hang back here" I tell him, taking a seat on the sofa.  
  
Jack glances back towards me and pauses at the door, "you're not still mad about me prying yesterday into where you were after that case?"  
  
"No why would I be?" I question. "You were concerned you have a right to be."  
  
He nods his head, although he's still clueless as to what I was doing and where I was. "I'll be back in a little under an hour. We can take the girls to the park or you can take them shopping?" He suggests.  
  
"Do you want me to meet you over at your place?" I question, "we'll have to head over there tonight anyhow" I point out.  
  
"Yeah can you meet me there?"  
  
"I'm going to have to take a shower" I remind him. "It'll be a little while till I'm ready."  
  
"Take your time. We'll wait" he answers. "You sure you don't want to come? I feel terrible leaving you behind."  
  
"It's fine. Besides Marie has the engagement ring" I remind him. "It might make it awkward if I show up and know" I pause, "I guess it doesn't really matter but I'd just assume wait around here and then meet you at your place."  
  
"Alright sounds good" he blows me a kiss before slipping out the door.  
  
After a few minutes pass by I head into the shower and then grab myself some food to eat. I glance towards the clock, knowing I'll be running a little late but I'm sure Jack won't be too concerned because he'll be with his girls.  
  
I head out of my apartment on my way towards Jacks. As I approach his home I dial his number, letting him know I'm almost there.  
  
"Hey Jack."  
  
"Where are you?" He questions.  
  
"Walking up the steps from the outside."  
  
"I'll unlock the place for you."  
  
"Thanks." I hang up and make my way to his door, seeing it slightly open. I make my way inside, seeing both girls watching a movie.  
  
"I was wondering when you'd show up."  
  
"Yeah I decided to eat before I stopped by." I answer. "What are they watching?"  
  
"Finding Nemo" Jack answers. "I told them you'd take them to the mall when it was over."  
  
"Jack" I whine out.  
  
"It'd be good for you guys to get along."  
  
"Both girls?" My eyes widen in horror. "You're joking."  
  
"Do you really want me to come with you?"  
  
"Yes" I answer. "I think it's in their best interest."  
  
"Why's that?" He questions.  
  
"I don't know" I pause letting out a soft breath, "what are you going to do here?" I point out.  
  
"Paperwork" he reminds me. "We still haven't finished the report and we're behind on a few cold cases. It doesn't hurt to look up on the missing people we haven't found."  
  
"It can wait." I answer.  
  
"So you'll help me with it tonight then?" Jack questions, "if I come with you girls?"  
  
"I never said that. Besides you get paid more for a reason" I remind him. I glance towards the sofa and the two girls sitting beside one another. "I think I can manage taking them to the mall." I head down the hall towards the bedroom waving Jack to follow me. "Did you tell them about moving into my place?"  
  
"Yeah I mentioned it in the car. They didn't seem to care either way. They're excited about going out with you though."  
  
"Yeah right" I retort, taking a seat on the bed. "I'll take them though. It can only be so bad? Right?" I counter.  
  
"It'll be fine" Jack reassures me. "You can help them pick out posters for their room or anything else they might want."  
  
"You know one day soon the two of us are going to have to go baby shopping for the nursery," I remind him.  
  
"We'll do that after I'm moved in."  
  
"Alright" I answer, giving him a brief kiss on the lips. "Is the movie almost over or do we have time."  
  
I hear two sets of feet running down the hallway and into the bedroom.  
  
"Question answered" I respond lightly. "You two don't knock?" I inquire.  
  
"Only when the door's closed." Hannah responds. "We're ready to go shopping." She tells me.  
  
"Is the movie over?"  
  
"No but we've seen it before. We can finish watching it later." Hannah tells me.  
  
"I'll be ready in a minute, I need to talk to your father alone." I hear Kate let out a soft sigh and a groan as she pouts her bottom lip. "I'll be ready soon" I tell her, ushering them out of the room and shutting the door behind her.  
  
"What's going on?" Jack questions.  
  
"I'm wondering the same thing. After the way Hannah's been lately, you want me to take her to the store to go shopping?" I remind him. "Isn't she supposed to be grounded?"  
  
Jack lets out a soft sigh. "I'm not sure how to deal with the situation because she didn't exactly do what we thought with it."  
  
"She still stole the ring" I point out.  
  
"Yeah you're right. I just think it would be good for the three of you to go out together and."  
  
"You're really trying to get rid of me?" I grin shaking my head in amusement. "If you still want to punish her, don't let her see any friends for a week or two" I suggest.  
  
"Does that even work?"  
  
"At her age yes. When she gets a little older though we'll have to worry about her sneaking out." I answer.  
  
"Is that what you did?" Jack eyes me curiously.  
  
"Yeah and a few other devious things."  
  
Jack's eyes widen with a smile. "Like?"  
  
"You'll find out one day. Besides if I don't tell you, I'm sure my mother will." I remind him, giving him another kiss before heading with the girls out to the mall.  
  
I head into the car, buckling myself in and waiting for the girls to do the same. "Can we get cookies while we're there?" Kate asks.  
  
"If you girls are good" I answer.  
  
After spending a little over an hour at the mall, we stop for some cookies and then head on our way home.  
  
"Thanks for taking us Samantha" Hannah eyes me with a huge smile.  
  
"Did you find enough stuff to decorate with?" I question.  
  
Her smile widens and Kate interrupts us, "yeah thank you Samantha."  
  
"You're welcome" I tell the girls. I park the car and we head up to see Jack.  
  
"Hey girls" Jack glances over with wide eyes. "What'd you get?" Hannah brings her bags over and Kate does the same, showing off their posters, stickers, glow in the dark paint, and two signs with their names on them. "Did you thank Samantha?"  
  
"Yes" Hannah tells him, moving to sit beside her dad. Her eyes widen and stare right at Jack. "When are you going to show us our new home?"  
  
Jack glances towards me as Kate climbs on the other side of him. "When do you think we should?"  
  
"It's up to you. I think it would be easier if we waited till everything was situated." I point out.  
  
"I want to go now" Kate exclaims.  
  
"No" Jack answers firmly. "Whining won't get you your way."  
  
"Dad" Hannah joins in.  
  
"You girls want to go to your room?"  
  
"No" Hannah shakes her head and Kate's eyes bring about tears.  
  
"Why don't you finish watching your movie" I suggest, trying to keep the peace.  
  
I slip into the bedroom while Jack keeps the girls company. I head for the bed, resting my eyes for a short nap as I feel sleep overtake me. 


	45. Chapter 45

"Why don't you finish watching your movie" I suggest, trying to keep the peace.  
  
I slip into the bedroom while Jack keeps the girls company. I head for the bed, resting my eyes for a short nap as I feel sleep overtake me.  
  
*******  
  
"Sam" I hear Jack's voice and his hand brushes the hair past my forehead. "You're warm" he tells me, his hand feeling over my cheeks.  
  
"Yeah my head hurts" I grimace.  
  
"You want to take anything for it?"  
  
"The baby" I remind him. "I think I'll be alright. I could use a little more sleep."  
  
Jack leans down, pressing a soft kiss to my forehead tenderly. "Let me know if you need anything."  
  
I nod my head and shut my eyes, falling back asleep.  
  
I roll around glancing at the clock and then towards the shades to see the sun setting and the room growing dark. I sit up in bed, feeling slightly better as I head towards the living room.  
  
"Hey Sam" I notice Jack in the kitchen cooking up dinner and the girls playing a board game. "You feeling any better?"  
  
"Yeah. Do you need any help?" I approach Jack in the kitchen, watching as he puts some food in the oven.  
  
"No." He turns around, moving his hand to my forehead. "You feel nice and cool."  
  
"Yeah" I nod with a smile.  
  
"Why don't you take a seat and keep Hannah and Kate company."  
  
"Are you sure? I don't mind helping."  
  
"Positive" he moves to give me a soft kiss before I head on over to the girls.  
  
After dinner, we pull out a movie and I make the popcorn. "Can we camp out?" Hannah asks Jack.  
  
"I don't have any sleeping bags here. You can bring your blankets out to the living room if you bring them back in when it's bedtime."  
  
"Alright" both girls run off into the bedroom to grab their blankets and pillows to lie down on the floor. I grab the popcorn, giving some to the girls and keeping some for the two of us. Jack takes a seat on the sofa and I situate myself next to Jack. He pulls the pillow and places it on his lap for me to rest my head. I lie down, feeling his hands in my hair as I curl against the sofa watching the film and snacking on some popcorn.  
  
"Sam" I hear Jack's soft voice and my eyes open, realizing I've fallen asleep on him.  
  
"Hmmm?" I move to sit up, running my hand through my hair and squinting my eyes. "What time is it?"  
  
"The girls are asleep. It's quarter past ten." He answers, "I need to put them in bed."  
  
"I can help."  
  
"No why don't you head into bed. I'll tuck you in after I take care of the girls."  
  
"Are you sure? I don't mind helping."  
  
"Positive" Jack tells me. I head into the bedroom, slipping into a black lace Victoria's secret outfit.  
  
I hear the bedroom door open and glance up to see Jack's eyes widen at the site of my night attire. I take a seat on the edge of the bed.  
  
"Sam" his voice grows hoarse as he chokes on his words. "So this is what you wear to seduce your men?" Jack moves to stand in front of me, my bare legs softly caressing against his pants. His eyes look me up and down, pausing over my breasts and lingering at my thighs before meeting my gaze. "You know how to get a man hot."  
  
"I haven't done anything yet" I remind him, moving onto my knees. A soft moan escapes his lips as my hands trail along his sides, lifting his shirt over his head.  
  
"Are you sure you're up for this?" He questions with a hint of concern in his eyes; knowing shortly there will be no turning back.  
  
"Positive" I grin, licking my lips with my tongue. His mouth moves to capture my tongue in the action and I pull back, not giving him the satisfaction. "We're going to take things slow" I tell him. "Just relax." I whisper out, running my hand up his chest and then down and over his back. "Come sit with me" I tell him, giving him room on the bed.  
  
He scoots beside me, his left hand on my thigh and his right hand moving into my hair as our mouth meets for a soft sensuous kiss. His hand softly snakes its way higher towards the juncture of my legs. I capture his hand in mine, not letting him make the destination just yet.  
  
"Soon" I answer, capturing his gaze with mine. "I'm the one in control" I remind him and in the process reminding myself of that as well, knowing how easy I can fall to him.  
  
"Tell me what to do" he counters. His hand back on my leg, softly thumbing the sensitive skin.  
  
"Lie back" I urge him, moving my mouth to his for another taste before my hands capture his zipper and tug at his pants. He lets out a small gasp as my hands intentionally brush against him while discarding his clothes.  
  
"Samantha" he pleads with me, his eyes holding desperation as I move to straddle his frame and lean down to plant his face with tiny kisses.  
  
"You wanted me to wear this" I remind him with a wicked grin, "it's all part of the price" I tease, moving my tongue along his lips and into his mouth.  
  
His hands roam over my back and down my ass, feeling over my flesh and the thong I'm wearing. Jack's fingers link into the sides, sliding the material over my thighs and tossing it to the floor. His mouth meets mine again as my hands feel over his chest and down his body.  
  
"I've wanted this all night," I tell him, biting gently down on his lips as our bodies become joined and we finish our dance towards ecstasy.  
  
I feel my heart pounding through my chest as I lie above him. As a few moments pass, I roll onto my side, clinging close to his body.  
  
"All night?" He repeats my words, his eyes meeting mine.  
  
"Yeah. Must be the pregnancy" I counter. "Or you" I smile in response.  
  
"You've been sleeping all night" he teases, pressing a soft kiss to my lips.  
  
"Mmm yeah" I whisper out, with tried eyes as I feel Jack's arm come around to hold me close.  
  
"Goodnight" he presses a soft kiss to my lips.  
  
"Night" I murmur out before falling into a deep sleep. 


	46. Chapter 46

A month manages to pass by and Jack moves in with me. The girls have helped decorate their room but we still haven't started on the nursery yet. By the end of the week, my mother will be coming to visit for a few days and I've already scheduled to take off.  
  
In the meantime, I've been working part-time although being a FBI Agent isn't exactly a part-time job. Jack has pressured me into working no more than twenty hours a week, expressing I need my rest to ensure we'll have a healthy baby boy or girl. Lately though, I've been working somewhere between 35 to 40 hours helping out with the case.  
  
I've had one more ultrasound and have decided to keep the sex of our baby a secret, although Jack's insistent on knowing. I've pressured him into waiting, especially since this is my first born.  
  
Jack presses a kiss to my head, as the morning light shines in through the curtains.  
  
"Morning Sam" Jacks hands dances along the bulge of my abdomen.  
  
"Mmm yes it is" I yawn, my eyes glancing towards the clock. "Shouldn't we be getting ready for work?"  
  
"You've put in more than enough time last week to."  
  
"Jack I'm fine" I reassure him. "There hasn't been any complications and we're both doing good," I tell him, rubbing my hand with his along my stomach. "Feel that," I tell him, holding his hand close as we feel a soft kick.  
  
"He's an active little fellow."  
  
"How do you know it's a boy?" I eye him curiously.  
  
"If it's not then we'll have to try again" he answers, brushing his lips against mine. "We need to make sure we can carry on the Malone name."  
  
"Who said anything about the baby being a Malone and not a Spade?" I eye him intently.  
  
"I just figured since."  
  
"I'm kidding" I reassure him, moving my mouth over his as my hands feel over his bare chest. "Maybe we should take the day off" I tease, moving my body to cover his.  
  
"Samantha" he groans out, feeling the heat radiating off me and onto him. "Tonight" he tells me.  
  
I move to scoot off his frame and stand up intent on taking a shower. "You coming?" I grin.  
  
"I wouldn't miss it for the world." He answers, pulling me into his arms and against the bathroom door as we pull at each other's clothes.  
  
"What about tonight?" I remind him.  
  
"I'm not sure I can wait" he breathes out in a deep whisper. His hands feeling over my full breasts, and my swollen abdomen. "You look so beautiful" he whispers into my ear, before sucking on the lobe.  
  
"No I look pregnant" I chide. "Come on. Shower time" I remind him, pulling him beneath the spray of water with me.  
  
Once we finish up, I slip on something fairly comfortable to wear. "You know I'll be needing maternity clothes soon" I remind him. "I can barely fit into these" I point out.  
  
"Your mother can help you go shopping when she comes."  
  
"I refuse to get her opinion on what I should wear."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Trust me" I answer, heading into the bathroom to pull my hair up and then meeting Jack in the kitchen for breakfast.  
  
"We still need to talk later" Jack eyes me seriously.  
  
"I know" I roll my eyes, "you're still upset that I let the girls get their ears pierced. It's not really that big of a deal Jack."  
  
"It is when you undermine what Marie and I told them."  
  
"You never mentioned it to me, and they certainly didn't" I let out a sigh. "It's over and done with. If you're that upset you can take the earrings out and their ears will close up."  
  
Jack shuts his eyes for a minute, resting his head in his hand before glancing back my way. "It's not that big of a deal, you're right. Marie just gave me hell when I dropped the girls off last night."  
  
"I'm sorry" I move to stand up, resting my hands on his shoulders from behind him. He lets out a sigh and glances back towards me.  
  
"It's ok."  
  
"If you want I can pick them up this weekend, if it gives you a break."  
  
"You'll be busy getting your mother from the airport" he reminds me.  
  
"Friday night?" I suggest. "Unless we get in too late."  
  
"Or have other plans" he answers, as I lean down, giving him a soft kiss.  
  
"I need to finish eating."  
  
"Go right ahead." He answers, his hands tangled in my hair as he gives me another sweet kiss, not allowing me to let go.  
  
"Jack." He finally lets go and allows me to finish eating before heading out for work together.  
  
We make it into the office, noticing Vivian, Danny, and Martin gathered around the conference table.  
  
"A new case?" Jack questions as I see the three agents glancing from one to the other. I notice no files on the table and no other work as well.  
  
"What's going on?" I question, glancing to Danny, then Vivian, and finally to Martin.  
  
"What's going on is we have a missing person" I hear Van Doren's voice behind us, and a sigh of relief wash over the three sitting faces.  
  
I take a seat at the corner of the table and Jack moves to sit next to me.  
  
"Andrea Lenhart was reported missing at 5 a.m. this morning. Her husband claims she never came home the night before. Apparently they're going through a rough marriage so it's not unlikely an affair is going on."  
  
"She ran away. Seems like an open and shut case" Martin interrupts.  
  
"Nothing's ever as simple as we'd like it to be" Van Doren points out. "Samantha I need to see you in my office."  
  
I follow Paula Van Doren into her office and glance back to see the four of them working eagerly on the case.  
  
"Take a seat" she offers.  
  
I sit down, wondering why I've been called into her office.  
  
"I'm sure you remember earlier in the year when you and Jack went on an undercover investigation regarding the disappearance of several missing children."  
  
"Yes" I nod, watching as she takes a seat at her desk, thumbing through a file.  
  
"It's been brought to OPR's attention, and it certainly wasn't my doing" she pauses, closing the file. "I've tried what I can to field off the investigation but I thought I'd give you a heads up."  
  
"Investigation on what?" I question.  
  
"After last years fallout as well as the allegations on an office romance between a superior and a sub-ordinate, it was only a matter of time. You went undercover with Agent Malone" Van Doren pauses and lets out a breath, "Jack and you pretended to be married. You see the problem this poses."  
  
"There's no evidence of a relationship" I counter.  
  
"You're pregnant" she reminds me. "It doesn't matter who's child you're carrying, the fact remains your pregnant, and I'm sure it won't take an OPR investigator long to figure out the dates."  
  
"You're making assumptions."  
  
"Am I?" Van Doren eyes me suspiciously. "Assumptions or not, if it looks that way from my perspective."  
  
"They'll make it look worse" I answer. I move to stand up, "thank you" I tell her, heading out of the office and towards Jack's, noticing everyone else in their own office space. 


	47. Chapter 47

"Am I?" Van Doren eyes me suspiciously. "Assumptions or not, if it looks that way from my perspective."  
  
"They'll make it look worse" I answer. I move to stand up, "thank you" I tell her, heading out of the office and towards Jack's, noticing everyone else in their own office space.  
  
********  
  
"Hey" I chime, greeting him as I step through the door.  
  
"I sent Viv and Danny to talk with the husband. Martin's heading to Andrea's workplace, hoping to find who she might have been having the affair with."  
  
"Where do you want me?"  
  
"Am I interrupting anything?" S.A. Jason Farrell interrupts, making his way into Jack's office.  
  
"Actually we were working on a case" Jack answers.  
  
"So I've heard. I need to speak with Agent Spade."  
  
"About what?" Jack counters, "I thought you're investigation was over."  
  
"Oh it was. Until new evidence was brought to light. If you don't mind Agent Spade" Farrell glances towards me and I shrug towards Jack with a sigh, following the pathetic bastard down the hall to a free conference room. "Please take a seat." Farrell tells me.  
  
"What's this about?" I question, playing the dumb blonde role that he believes I fit under.  
  
"What do you think agent? You and your superior who appear to have had a previous relationship went undercover on an assignment that not only risked procedure but put people's lives in danger. You represent the FBI Agent Spade" he reminds me, "don't forget that."  
  
"The assignment also show's Agent Fitzgerald was originally assigned to the case with me. Did you leave out that we had drinks from time to time? Or is that not worth investigating because it doesn't involve Jack and you're plan to get him out of the Bureau?" I retort.  
  
"Yes Martin had an allergic reaction. I realize he was supposed to work undercover with you" he reads over the file, "Danny Taylor could have stepped in when Martin fell ill."  
  
"So could have Vivian" I retort with amusement. "Why don't you question me why we didn't pretend to be married? After all that certainly wouldn't have jeopardized the case. You and I both know Agent Malone is a fine undercover agent and if it would have been Vivian instead of me this discussion wouldn't even be taking place."  
  
"That is correct and you know why you've hit it head on? You've had a relationship with your superior. I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt last time. I considered the possibility that maybe your job was at stake and you did what you might have believed to be right."  
  
"You have no evidence to base your claims." I remind him.  
  
"Oh but I do" he thumbs through the pages of the report. "Besides the obvious pregnancy timeline." I stand up, ready to leave, "sit down Agent Spade I'm not finished yet."  
  
"You'll never be finished until you hang Agent Malone" I point out. "Yes I'm pregnant, thanks for the warm congratulations" I sarcastically answer. "Now if you don't mind, I have a missing person to find."  
  
"No you don't" Farrell comments. "You're officially a part-time field agent and you've worked far too many hours to be considered part-time. Do I need to have a talk with Agent Malone about over working you?"  
  
"What are you getting at?" I eye him angrily.  
  
"You seem like a smart agent, one who knows how to work her way up the ladder. Doesn't surprise me you left the NYPD when you weren't getting your way with the guys over there. Wouldn't surprise me if your advances and subsequent pregnancy were the reasons Agent Malone decided to submit a transfer for you out of the unit."  
  
"That's ridiculous." My eyes widen in astonishment. He would have told me.  
  
"Yeah it probably is given your already part-time" he lets out a soft laugh. "I was joking. Besides you have more to be concerned about with me transferring you out of the unit."  
  
"For what, being pregnant? That's insane."  
  
"Is it? You are having Malone's child, are you not?"  
  
"That's none of your business who the father is." I retort.  
  
"It's my business when you bring your work home."  
  
My mouth widens in astonishment. I stand up, ready to leave and not caring what he tries to say or do to stop me.  
  
"Agent Spade."  
  
"Transfer me, fire me; do whatever you want. You have no evidence to base your ridiculous claims" I retort. "We know this team needs my expertise. You can move me to another division but what will that accomplish?"  
  
"A lot if it's to the D.C. field office" Farrell smiles warmly. "The paperwork is already finished. I just need your superior's signature and yours. Although I could do it without Malone's signature, I'd rather see the look on his face when he finds out."  
  
"You can't."  
  
"I will" Farrell answers. "You both can't work together. You've broken procedure and protocol."  
  
"So write me up."  
  
"You know it doesn't work that way Agent Spade."  
  
"Fine do whatever you have to do" I leave the room with a heavy breath, storming my way to my cubicle. 


	48. Chapter 48

"So write me up."  
  
"You know it doesn't work that way Agent Spade."  
  
"Fine do whatever you have to do" I leave the room with a heavy breath, storming my way to my cubicle. **** "What was all that about?" Jack comes over to approach me.  
  
"He's planning on moving me to D.C."  
  
"On what basis?"  
  
"The pregnancy and the fact we worked undercover. It's ridiculous Jack, he has no evidence that anything happened between us."  
  
"I just got done talking to Paula" he tells me. "She can't do anything to help us. She thinks this whole thing was initiated when I went into the bookstore. She thinks it raised a few red flags."  
  
"Farrell didn't mention that."  
  
"Why would he?" Jack counters, "I saved your life and the lives of those hostages, he'd rather shoot me with my own gun then let me pull the damn trigger."  
  
"Jack."  
  
"Don't worry about it. You're not being transferred anywhere." He tells me sternly, heading off to where Farrell is.  
  
"Shit" I mutter under my breath, hoping I didn't do the wrong thing by telling Jack.  
  
I answer the ringing phone, hearing from downstairs that someone is waiting to see me. I let out a sigh, curious as to who would be here and not have clearance to make their way upstairs.  
  
I head towards Jack's office, scribbling on a piece of paper Be Back in 5 ~ Samantha and make my way downstairs.  
  
I exit the elevator, seeing a familiar face that's lost on me. "Samantha" my father's voice echoes in my ears as I shake my head no.  
  
"What are you doing here?" I formally ask, having no intention of letting this man into my life. Not after what he put my mother and I through.  
  
"I came to see how you were. You're mother told me you were pregnant."  
  
"You two talked?"  
  
"Yes. She called me with the news actually." I roll my eyes, aggravated.  
  
"What do you want?" I retort.  
  
"I wanted to see how you were doing."  
  
"I'm fine. No thanks to you" I retort, "Now if you don't mind there's a case I need to work on."  
  
"Let's catch up" he tells me, moving his hands over mine. I shake off his touch, wanting nothing to do with this man.  
  
"I have to go" I answer sternly, backing up and heading into the elevator leaving my father standing there alone.  
  
I head onto our floor, noticing Farrell glaring at me and heading for the elevator. "This investigation is far from over" he warns, stepping inside and hitting the button for the correct floor.  
  
I turn towards Jack's office, heading over to see what's going on.  
  
"I got your note" he acknowledges. "What's going on?"  
  
"A personal matter" I explain. He eyes me for a moment, suspecting something else and then dismisses the notion. "Farrell?" I question, glancing toward the elevator.  
  
"He shouldn't be a problem."  
  
"What'd you do?"  
  
"I told him the truth."  
  
"You what?" My eyes widen in horror. "Tell me he didn't fire you."  
  
"No and you're not being transferred either."  
  
"What did you say to him?" I question.  
  
"That he was right. I wanted a relationship but you wouldn't see to it. I told him how the records and the case were all my doing. My wanting to get closer to you."  
  
"But."  
  
"Samantha" Jack interrupts me. "It's over."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I got a warning for pursuing a junior agent but since nothing happened they can't do much about it. Farrell's writing a warning in my file but it means virtually nothing. It's over" he reassures me.  
  
"What about the pregnancy?" I question. "He let that go?"  
  
"I told him we were friends and you confided in me about the baby back when we were on the case. He's not as smart as everyone thinks" Jack smiles, "I had him believe you're being pregnant was the reason you were the female agent there and since I was the only one you had confided in, it needed to be me there as well."  
  
"He bought it?" I eye him with a grin.  
  
"Apparently he can't count dates, or he doesn't know when you're due. Either way we're fine for now." Jack eyes me seriously, "are you ok? You look pale."  
  
"It's nothing" I shake my head and wave my hand dismissivly.  
  
"Why don't you go home early."  
  
"Jack we have a case to work on" I remind him.  
  
"Alright how about after lunch?"  
  
"No" I shake my head. "I'm not leaving my job because I'm pregnant Jack."  
  
"You're part-time" he reminds me.  
  
"Yeah and you're full-time" I counter. "You work more than the hours you're supposed to put in. If I only worked part-time I'd never see you."  
  
"You know when the baby comes."  
  
"I know I'll worry about it then." I point out.  
  
"Is there something you're not telling me?"  
  
"Can we drop it Jack?"  
  
He lets out a sigh and moves to shut the door. "No" he answers. "You're not acting like yourself."  
  
"What? Me not agreeing to go home doesn't meet your approval?"  
  
"Samantha this" he gestures, "your attitude. You're being defensive before I've even tried to make a case."  
  
"Good because we have one that already needs solving" I eye him sternly, heading out of his office and towards my desk.  
  
I let out a sigh, knowing he's confused and hurt by my sudden coldness. We're at work, and this is the last place I want to talk about my father. Jack will have to understand.  
  
I hear Jack's heavy footsteps against the linoleum and feel his shadow cast over me.  
  
"I'm heading out to investigate Andrea's family, particularly her sister. I want you to stay here and do a search on her credit cards, phone logs, anything that seems out of place."  
  
"Jack."  
  
"You're not fit to go out into the field." He answers. "I've made my decision." He tells me sternly before heading out of the office.  
  
"Jerk" I mutter under my breath as I let out an aggravated groan and log onto the computer system. 


	49. Chapter 49

"You're not fit to go out into the field." He answers. "I've made my decision." He tells me sternly before heading out of the office.  
  
"Jerk" I mutter under my breath as I let out an aggravated groan and log onto the computer system.  
  
*******  
  
As the day wears on, Martin calls looking for Jack. When I tell him he's out in the field, he relays to me that he has a name for who Andrea was having an affair with, but he didn't show up into work this morning. Martin was going to check out the address and then call Jack to give him the details.  
  
I glance towards the clock 3:30 in the afternoon and then towards the computer. I lift the phone, dialing Jack's cell and waiting for him to answer.  
  
"Jack it's me" I tell him.  
  
"Yeah? What have you got?"  
  
"A really big headache" I answer. "Did Martin call you?"  
  
"Yeah about an hour ago. If you've finished all that you can for the night, go home." Jack tells me.  
  
"I was hoping to leave with you." I answer. "Otherwise I'll have to pay for a cab ride home. Or else you won't have the car."  
  
"I might be another hour or so. Why don't you take the car? I can catch a ride back home with someone else." He answers.  
  
"Alright" I hang up the phone with a soft breath and gather my things.  
  
I make my way home, letting out a sigh of frustration. I open the freezer, grabbing a spoon and some ice cream to snack on. I grab the phone, dialing my mother to have a word with her.  
  
"Mom" I hear her answer on the first ring and immediately feel myself growing angry.  
  
"Hi Sam." Before she has time to say anything more I interrupt her.  
  
"Dad stopped by" I let out a sigh, "you told him I was pregnant?"  
  
"He's your father."  
  
"How long have you been seeing him again?"  
  
"It's not like that Sam. We talk from time to time, that's all."  
  
"You told him where I worked." My voice grows with more intensity as the anger within me builds.  
  
"He wanted to see you. I was going to give him your number but I know you wouldn't have heard him out."  
  
"Does he know where I live?"  
  
"I don't know" she answers softly. "I didn't give him the address, but I'm sure he could find it if he wanted to. Sam he's a good man."  
  
"Yeah the same good man who slugged me and walked out on you." I retort.  
  
"He's not like that anymore."  
  
"Yes because people like him really change" I sarcastically answer, "How convenient. He comes back into my life while I'm pregnant. He can forget about seeing his grandchild and if you're involved with him you can too." I tell her.  
  
"Samantha don't do this."  
  
"Do what? Shut him out of my life? It's already been done. I don't love him and you can't ask me to." I remind her.  
  
"You still love me" my mother whispers, almost asking the words on the other end of the phone.  
  
"Yes" I breathe out with a sigh. "I want what's best for you" I tell her.  
  
"I can take care of myself" my mother reminds me. "I did fine raising you and watching over the house."  
  
"I'm not having this conversation" I answer. "If you want to come the weekend, then fine. Don't expect me to budge on this issue." I state sternly.  
  
"I wouldn't want you to do anything you're uncomfortable with." She tells me before hanging up.  
  
I let out a breath, hating that I've had to hide this from Jack. I wanted to tell him, but I was worried I'd break down at work. Something I couldn't personally afford to do.  
  
I hear a key in the lock and glance up to see Jack stepping in through the doorway. He shuts the door behind him, locking it in place and not saying a word. The silence between us is deafening.  
  
I head into the kitchen to begin preparing dinner and hear Jack rummaging through the fridge.  
  
"Any word on Andrea?" I question.  
  
"No. Danny and I are heading in first thing tomorrow morning to finish the case. We're not too far off." He answers, grabbing something to drink and downing the liquid. "You could have thanked me today."  
  
"For what? Assigning me to desk duty?"  
  
"For risking my own reputation to save yours." He answers. "What has gotten into you lately?"  
  
"You wouldn't understand" I answer, turning my back on him and preparing the food on the stove. I feel Jack's body behind me, but not touching me.  
  
"Then explain it to me" he gently says.  
  
I turn around to face him, my eyes holding pain behind the shades of warm brown but no tears have been shed. "I had a visitor today" I softly answer. "I went downstairs to find out who would come see me and not have clearance for a visitor's pass."  
  
"Who was it?" Jack's eyes hold mine as my eyes begin to tear up and I glance off towards the fridge, trying to steady my emotions.  
  
"My father" I whisper out.  
  
"What?" Jack comes closer, his hands moving to give me a hug. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?"  
  
"At work? Look at me Jack. I'm a mess" I breathe out, shaking my head, and trying to calm my racing heart.  
  
"No one would have known or cared" he answers, running his hand softly against my back. "Sam I'm sorry about earlier" he tells me gently into my ear, pressing a kiss to my cheek. "I was out of line with giving you deskwork because you weren't letting me in."  
  
"I wanted to" I whisper out, "I just didn't know how to tell you. I didn't even believe it myself." I move my head to his chest, feeling his arms protect me. "I called my mother" I breathe into his chest, feeling him loosen his grip so he can hear my words. "She doesn't understand. I think she may be seeing him again."  
  
"Should she be coming to visit us then?" Jack questions.  
  
"It doesn't matter. I don't think she'll tell him where we live, but I'm sure if he wants to find out badly enough."  
  
"I won't let anything happen to you Sam," Jack reassures me, rubbing his hands softly against my back.  
  
"I know. I can defend myself" I remind him, "it's just after all this time. I don't understand what he's doing back."  
  
"Maybe he wants redemption or forgiveness."  
  
"It's not good enough" I answer.  
  
"I'm not saying I agree with him Sam, just maybe he's not here to hurt you."  
  
"I don't care" I shake my head. "I want him out of my life forever. If I could take back every memory I ever had with him, I would."  
  
"Shhh" he tells me, pressing a soft kiss to my head as he holds me close against him. "Let me work on dinner why don't you go lie down."  
  
"Jack" I breathe out, "it's not that big a deal. I can manage to cook."  
  
"Maybe I don't want you to" he answers with a soft smile, trying to cheer me up. "Remember the last time you cooked."  
  
"Yeah I set the oven on fire" I laugh softly remembering a little over two weeks ago when the chicken I made somehow managed to turn into flames. Luckily we had a working fire extinguisher within reach. "I'm cooking on the stove" I counter.  
  
"Come on, go lie down. Turn on the television. I'll join you when I can" he gives me a soft kiss, his fingers drying the remaining tears I've shed. 


	50. Chapter 50

"Come on, go lie down. Turn on the television. I'll join you when I can" he gives me a soft kiss, his fingers drying the remaining tears I've shed.  
  
********  
  
I head on over towards the sofa, tugging the blanket from the back of the cushions and spreading it over my body. I relax into the couch, turning on the tv to see what's on.  
  
"Sam you're not worried about your father coming after you or the baby, are you?"  
  
"No" I shake my head. "I don't think he would do that. I'm just not sure I understand why he's back now. He's after something, money maybe" I answer.  
  
"Does he know we don't have any."  
  
"We have more than him" I point out. "I'm not sure how I'm going to handle my mother this weekend" I let out a sigh, hearing Jack's footsteps making his way to sit beside me.  
  
"I have a few minutes till I have to stir everything." He moves his arm around me, allowing me to lean into his body for comfort. "Do you want me to talk to her?"  
  
"I already did. I tried to. I'm not sure what I accomplished."  
  
"I'm sure you'll get along just fine" he tells me. "You were going to go shopping for the nursery, remember?"  
  
"Yeah" I nod, "I'm just not sure I can be with her that long without you there."  
  
"I can't take off all week" he reminds me. "I'll see if I can skip out early but I can't make any promises."  
  
"Thanks" I answer, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.  
  
"If you need anything though Samantha, don't hesitate to call me. You know that."  
  
"Yes." I nod, feeling like a child being told when to be home by. I laugh softly, more to myself then aloud. I feel Jack moving off the sofa to finish working on dinner.  
  
As Saturday morning eventually comes, the girls are both sound asleep after staying up late to watch Disney movies. I offered to pick my mother up from the airport while Jack watches over the girls.  
  
The disappearance of Andrea Lenhart was brought to a riveting conclusion, the man she was having an affair with kidnapped her. He couldn't get enough of her, and when she tried to sever all ties, he went ballistic. Thankfully Danny and Vivian arrived in time to rescue Andrea although it appears the suspect has fled the country.  
  
I head towards the airport, eyeing my watch and hoping I can find her. I park the car and head towards baggage claim where we decided to meet.  
  
"Sam!" I hear her voice and turn to look for her.  
  
"Hey mom" I smile her way, offering to carry her bag.  
  
"I've got it" she tells me.  
  
"The car's this way" I answer, nodding towards the parking garage.  
  
"I talked to Jack yesterday" my mother tells me.  
  
"You did?"  
  
"Yeah. I called the house but you were picking up the girls. You didn't tell me he had children."  
  
"You didn't ask" I answer with a laugh. "Does it matter?"  
  
"Yes. I had to run out last night and pick them up something. It would have been nice to know in advance."  
  
"You didn't have to get the girls anything."  
  
"And what kind of grandmother would I be then?" She eyes me, brushing the hair away from my face as we head into the car. "So you're planning on marrying him?"  
  
"One day" I answer.  
  
"Before the baby comes?"  
  
"I don't know" I answer. "When the time is right."  
  
"A wedding takes months to plan" she reminds me.  
  
"Maybe I don't want the typical wedding" I eye her, "I've had that. He's had that, it hasn't worked for either of us."  
  
"You're going to elope?"  
  
"We haven't talked about it, but that's what I'd prefer to do. I'd appreciate it if you didn't say anything to him."  
  
My mother nods in understanding as we pull in front of the house. We make our way up and into the apartment, as I unlock the door and hear the girls excited voices.  
  
"Samantha!" Kate shouts, jumping up and down running to greet the two of us.  
  
"Kate I'd like you to meet my mother, your grandmother."  
  
"Hi" Kate answers.  
  
"Where's your sister?" I question.  
  
"Waking up. She's getting changed."  
  
"Sam" I hear Jack's voice as he comes in from down the hall. He greets me with a kiss and then puts out his hand to introduce himself. "Jack Malone."  
  
"Jayne Spade, Sam's mom."  
  
"I feel like I'm back in kindergarten" I groan out.  
  
"Why don't we take a seat" Jack suggests, herding us over to the couch like wild animals. I feel Jack's warm body come to sit beside me as my mother takes a seat on the recliner across from us.  
  
"I noticed you let Jack call you Sam." She eyes me seriously and then Jack. "She's never complained to you about it?"  
  
"I'm in the room, in case you've forgotten!" I feel Jack's hand move to my thigh to calm me down. Kate climbs into Jack's lap, wanting to be held. I hear Hannah's footsteps and see her eyeing us from the hallway.  
  
"Hannah there's someone we'd like you to meet."  
  
"I know" she answers, eyeing me and then Jack before eyeing her grandmother. "Samantha can I talk to you alone?"  
  
"Sure" I stand up, heading towards Hannah. She heads into her bedroom and I follow in toe behind her.  
  
Hannah lets out a soft breath, "remember the dream I had about you being pregnant."  
  
"Yes." I take a seat on the edge of her bed, letting her sit across from me.  
  
"I had another dream but this time I guess I saw your mother, my grandmother" she lets out a soft breath. "I didn't think anything of it, except she looked exactly like her, which is strange because I've never seen a picture or anything."  
  
"What was your dream about Hannah?"  
  
"She was after your baby."  
  
"I'm sure it's nothing" I tell her. "Maybe you imagined what she looked like when you heard Jack and I talking about her."  
  
"No it's not that. I'm positive it meant more."  
  
"I believe you" I tell her. Clasping her hands in mine. She leans into my frame letting out a soft sigh. "Do you remember anything else in your dream?"  
  
"Not really. There was a man but it wasn't dad."  
  
I nod my head, could it be my father? "Come on, let's head out to the living room and keep everyone company."  
  
Hannah takes my hand and we walk out together. "Can I sit with you?" She whispers as we approach the living room.  
  
"Of course." I tell her.  
  
Jack still has Kate in his lap, she's resting her head on his chest comfortably. Hannah moves to sit between Jack and myself.  
  
"So have you determined the sex of the baby yet?" My mother questions.  
  
"No I wanted it to be a surprise." I tell her.  
  
"Not me. A baby alone is enough of a surprise" he grins towards me. "I want to know what we should start naming our boy."  
  
"It's going to be a girl" Kate exclaims, "just like Hannah and me."  
  
"What do you think it's going to be Hannah?" I move her braided pigtails to the side as she eyes me.  
  
"A baby" she answers with a wide smile. "I'm not telling. Besides you said you didn't want to know."  
  
"We'll have to start deciding on names" Jack reminds me.  
  
"Yes we will" I nod.  
  
My mother eyes the two of us and then the girls. "I brought you both something." 


	51. Chapter 51

"We'll have to start deciding on names" Jack reminds me.  
  
"Yes we will" I nod.  
  
My mother eyes the two of us and then the girls. "I brought you both something."  
  
******  
  
Kate's eyes light up and Hannah looks to Jack and then to me. My mother opens her duffel bag, pulling out two moderately sized gift bags. "These are for you" she hands them to the girls as they exchange glances before digging inside to see what she got them.  
  
"Thank you" Kate chimes, as she pulls out a stuffed animal, a leopard.  
  
"Thanks" Hannah answers as she reveals a nearly identical stuffed animal, except it's a snow leopard, in a different shade.  
  
"Your welcome" my mother tells the girls. "If you'd like, I can take you to the park. Your dad was telling me how to get there."  
  
"Can we daddy?" Kate pleads with him.  
  
"I don't see why not." Jack answers. Kate slides off his lap and heads for the front door.  
  
"Come on Hannah." Kate whines, ready to leave.  
  
"I want Samantha to come." Hannah states, tugging on my hand. "Will you?" She eyes me.  
  
"Yeah but you need to bundle up. It's cold outside." I remind the girls. Hannah and Kate head towards their room, grabbing their hats and gloves and then putting their jackets on.  
  
"Can I come too?" Jack questions. "Or do you two want to catch up?"  
  
"Come" I tell Jack, "the girls will love you being there with them." I point out. I grab my coat and slip on a scarf.  
  
We all finish getting ready to head out into the cold. I feel Jack's body near mine as we slip out with the girls and my mother in front of us.  
  
We decide to walk down to the park since it's a fairly close distance.  
  
"It's snowing daddy" Kate exclaims, spinning around in circles on the sidewalk. It's a fairly heavy snow and I shiver from the dampness.  
  
"When you girls get cold you let us know" Jack tells them.  
  
We make it over to the park, noticing no other kids around. Hannah and Kate run over to the swings, jumping on and watching us.  
  
"Will you push me?" Kate questions and my mother heads on over volunteering to help.  
  
"Sure dear" she tells Kate.  
  
"Me too" Hannah exclaims.  
  
Jack makes his way over, offering to push Hannah as I take a seat on the bench.  
  
A few minutes later, Jack moves to sit beside me. He brushes the snowflakes off my hair and moves closer to keep each me warm.  
  
"How are you doing?"  
  
"I'm alright" I answer, and feel a smile on my face.  
  
"What?"  
  
"The baby" I answer, "I can feel it moving." I feel Jack's hands on my face, stroking my cheek as he pulls me against him to keep warm. "You think the girls are almost ready to go in?"  
  
"Yeah. I'm thinking we're going to get a decent amount of snowfall" Jack tells me.  
  
I glance down, noticing it already accumulating on the ground. "We'll have to come back out later when there's more" I grin over at him.  
  
"What exactly do you have in mind?" Jack eyes me.  
  
"You'll have to wait and see" I answer, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. "You're freezing" I state, "let's call the girls and head back inside."  
  
"Hannah, Kate come on" Jack eyes them both and them come running towards us.  
  
"Just a little while longer daddy" Kate's eyes are wide, and her nose is bright red.  
  
Hannah's cheeks are rosy and she eyes me and then Jack. "Can we come out here later?"  
  
"Definitely" I answer, "we'll wait till we have enough snow for a snowball fight."  
  
"No way" Jack shakes his head no. "You girls can do that. I'm staying inside where it's nice and warm."  
  
"Sure you are" I answer, rolling my eyes with a laugh. "Come on, help your pregnant wife up" I chime, feeling Jack help me to my feet and hold me close against the slick pavement.  
  
"Be careful girls," Jack warns them both. We head on up the stairs and I glance back.  
  
"Mom?" I question, waiting for her to follow us.  
  
"I'll be inside in a few minutes." She answers.  
  
"You want company?" I question.  
  
"No you go ahead inside." Jack holds me close with his arm linking into mine as we walk up the slippery steps into our apartment complex.  
  
We shed our wet coat, gloves, hat and other accessories before I slip under the blanket on the sofa. The girls come over to me, to do the same as they try and warm up.  
  
"How about some hot chocolate?" Jack suggests.  
  
"Yay!" Kate shouts, her eyes wide with a grin plastered to her face.  
  
"Do you want some too Hannah?"  
  
"Is there marshmallows?"  
  
"Of course." Jack answers.  
  
"Sam?"  
  
"I can get mine" I offer.  
  
"Just sit and keep the girls company." He tells me.  
  
Hannah grabs the remote and flips on to one of the Children's networks that has a show with the same girl there are posters of in their bedroom.  
  
"This is my favorite" Hannah explains, sitting up and eyeing the tv intently.  
  
Kate seems drawn in as well and after a few minutes Jack brings the girls their hot chocolate.  
  
"Why don't I check on my mother" I suggest.  
  
"Good idea," Jack nods and mouths 'I love you' before I head out the front door.  
  
"Mom?" I question noticing her sitting on the front steps, her cell phone in hand. She pockets the device and opens her mouth, a breath of warm air escaping her lungs.  
  
"I'm sorry" she tells me. "For everything I did or didn't do when you were growing up."  
  
"Don't" I shake my head, not wanting to hear it. "Come on" I tell her, taking her hand and helping her up as we carefully make our way inside.  
  
"I made you some hot chocolate" Jack tells my mother. "There's marshmallows on the table. I wasn't sure if you wanted them in your drink or not."  
  
"Thank you," she tells him, taking off her coat and hanging it with ours.  
  
I grab my own drink and head on over towards the couch. "Do you mind if I go put my stuff away?" Jayne questions.  
  
"Go right ahead. It's the last door on the left. There's a futon in there for you to sleep on. I hope that will be alright." Jack answers.  
  
"It'll be fine" my mother responds. She takes her bag with her to the bedroom and shuts the door. Jack moves to sit beside me, putting his arm around my shoulder.  
  
"I don't see how you two haven't gotten along. She seems really nice."  
  
"Yeah" I whisper out, turning my attention back to the television and the girls.  
  
I feel Jack's hand move behind my neck, teasing the skin as he stares straight ahead at the show. I let out a soft puff of air, feeling my body grow weak from such a simple sensation.  
  
As the show ends, Jack moves to the kitchen and I hear my mother making her way in to join him.  
  
I stand up, intent on helping making lunch.  
  
"Sam go sit down" Jack tells me gently.  
  
"What?" I question.  
  
"You're in no condition to."  
  
"I'm pregnant Jack, not." he cuts me off with a look. "Fine!" I hold my hands up in surrender mode with wide-eyes.  
  
"Play a game with us Samantha" Hannah says, moving to grab a board game from the cabinet. I take a seat on the floor next to Kate.  
  
"What game do you want to play?" I ask the girls.  
  
"Candyland" Kate exclaims with a wide smile.  
  
"Aren't you getting a little too old for that game?" I hear Jack's voice from the kitchen.  
  
"No daddy" she answers with an energetic smile.  
  
"Candyland is for babies" Hannah whines. "Let's play a grown-up game. How about twister?"  
  
I eye the collection of games that both Jack and I have gathered, pulling out the game Hannah wants to play.  
  
"I'll spin for you" I offer.  
  
"Awww you won't play?" Kate whines out.  
  
"No honey I don't think it would be good for the baby if I fell. Or for the two of you if I landed on top of you." I answer with a smile.  
  
"Alright" Kate slips off her socks and helps pull the game out. Hannah does the same, and they tug at the mat, lying it flat against the carpet.  
  
After a round of twister, Jack calls us all into the kitchen for lunch. The girls hurry to the table, intent on getting back to their game when they're finished.  
  
I take a seat beside Jack, feeling his eyes on me.  
  
"What?" I question with a hint of a smile.  
  
"You'll make a great mom" he tells me, before starting in on his lunch.  
  
Twenty minutes later, the girls clear their plates and run over to the living room. "It's still snowing!" Hannah exclaims, eyeing out the window. "Can we play out front?"  
  
"When we're done." Jack answers. "Sam looks done. Maybe if you asked her real nicely she'll play too?"  
  
"Samantha" Kate whines, running over and tugging on my arm. "Will you take us outside? Pretty pretty please?"  
  
"Yeah pretty pretty please?" Hannah joins in.  
  
"Alright" I stand up, clearing my own plate. "After I do the dishes."  
  
"I'll take care of it" my mother offers.  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Go take the girls outside." 


	52. Chapter 52

"Go take the girls outside."  
  
********  
  
We bundle up once again, although this time I slip on a hat and gloves as well, to keep warm.  
  
"Come on" Hannah groans, tugging at me to hurry up.  
  
"Button your coat" I tell her. She rolls her eyes and buttons the winter jacket.  
  
"Can we go now?"  
  
"Yes. Come on" I tell them, opening the door and heading outside. I carefully make my way down the icy and snow covered stairs.  
  
I feel a cold chill in the air, and glance up to the sky. It's still snowing pretty heavy and there's already somewhere between two and three inches on the ground.  
  
I watch as Hannah scoops up a clump of snow with a wicked grin spread across her face. "Don't throw it at me." I warn her.  
  
"I won't" she answers, patting it down before hitting Kate in the face.  
  
"Stop it!" Kate whines, clearing her face of the remnants of white snow.  
  
"Come here" I tell Kate, watching as she moves behind me so she won't get attacked. "Get her back." I state.  
  
"Is that what you teach them?" Jack's voice startles me.  
  
I glance behind me to see Jack buttoned in his overcoat with gloves on.  
  
"It is when they're having a snowball fight." I answer with a smile, bending down to the ground and helping Kate pack one nice and tight. "Get her," I whisper to Kate, watching as she throws the snowball and it lands on Hannah's legs.  
  
"You missed" Hannah teases, sticking out her tongue.  
  
"Did not!" Kate yells out.  
  
I ball up a lump of snow, tossing it towards Hannah.  
  
"No fair" she whines out. "Dad be on my team."  
  
"That's ok." Jack answers with a laugh. I grab another wad of snow, clumping it together before hitting Jack in the chest with it. "Hey now! That wasn't very nice."  
  
"It's a game" I chime with a grin, "go ahead and try to get us back!" I grab Kate's hand and we take off running. There's a series of bushes on the left and I gently push her in that direction to cover us from snowballs that are being tossed are way. "You missed!" I shout out, standing up to tease Jack and Hannah and feel a cold ball of snow hitting my neck, where my scarf has drifted open. I groan out from the cold and duck down to dodge another snowball.  
  
Kate dusts me off and hands me another one she's packed tight. "Here."  
  
"Thanks" I answer, taking the snowball and peering around the corner of the bush. I notice Jack trying to build a fort with snow and I lean towards the sidewalk to toss the snowball at Hannah.  
  
"Pick on someone your own size!" Jack teases. I watch as he storms on over towards me and Kate hands me another snowball.  
  
I take the tiny ball and toss it at Jack as he looms above us. "Run!" Kate screams as I dodge Jack's grip and slide out from under him. I take off on foot laughing wildly as I feel Jack approaching.  
  
His arms reach out to encompass my frame, with tiny bits of snow finding their way down my coat. "Let go" I groan out, shaking to get away from him.  
  
"Not a chance" he echoes, as I begin to loose my balance and feel us falling into the pack of snow below. Jack falls on his back and I can't help but laugh. I press a soft kiss to his lips, moving to get up as I feel a wad of snow being smashed into my face.  
  
"Dork!" I chime, moving back into my straddling position as I ball up huge amounts of snow and plummet it along his head and neck.  
  
"Cold" he shivers, his face and ears turning red.  
  
"You should have worn a hat" I remind him, moving to stand up and offering to give him a hand. "Truce?" I question, although knowing this game is far from over.  
  
"Yeah" Jack answers, taking my gloved hand and heading for the house. "You ready to go in?"  
  
"In a few minutes. I wanted to sit out here, it's nice."  
  
I take a seat on the steps and Jack sits beside me, his arm around my shoulders.  
  
"We're cold" Hannah tells us, making her way over with Kate clinging on and shivering.  
  
"Head inside" Jack tells her, "we'll be inside in a few minutes."  
  
"Alright." Both girl's head inside and I watch him slip his gloves off.  
  
"You're going to freeze" I tell him, watching as he slips his hand into his pocket. I close my eyes, feeling the snow falling onto my eyelashes and my face. I can't help but smile as I feel his warm body beside mine.  
  
"Samantha" I open my eyes glancing towards him to see him tugging the glove off my left hand.  
  
"Jack" my eyes widen.  
  
"I love you so much Sam. I want you to be in my life always and forever. You mean the world to me, and so much more. The girls love you, I love you, and I love this baby you're carrying. Will you marry me?"  
  
"Yes" I answer, with the biggest smile glued to my face. Jack slides the ring, a perfect fit, on me. "It's beautiful" I whisper out, moving my hand to his face as I meet his lips with mine.  
  
"Come on, let's go inside" he tells me, taking my hand and heading for the door.  
  
"Just a second" I stop, lean down and grab for my glove. I stand up, face- to-face with my father. "Oh my god" I gasp out with wide eyes as I turn around to see Jack at the door and then he turns around to see what's going on. 


	53. Chapter 53

"Just a second" I stop, lean down and grab for my glove. I stand up, face- to-face with my father. "Oh my god" I gasp out with wide eyes as I turn around to see Jack at the door and then he turns around to see what's going on.  
  
*******  
  
"Congratulations" my father tells me.  
  
"Leave!" I demand, my eyes wide with anger. "I want nothing to do with you."  
  
"Don't be that way." He moves closer, his hand coming up to touch my face. I back up, trying to get away as I feel Jack's body behind me.  
  
"You heard Samantha. Leave now and don't ever come back" Jack bellows out, his eyes wide with anger. Jack steps out from behind me, using himself as a shield to protect me. "LEAVE!" He shouts at the man, "don't make me tell you again." Jack grits out between his teeth.  
  
"I'll be back" my father glances towards me softly.  
  
"No" I shake my head. "I don't ever want to see you again."  
  
"It was a mistake Sam. I never meant to hurt you or your mother."  
  
"I don't want to hear it. Stay away from me and my family." I grab Jack's hand.  
  
"Go inside Sam." Jack tells me.  
  
"You come with me."  
  
"I have to take care of something."  
  
"Jack" I eye him seriously.  
  
"I'll only be a minute" Jack answers. I let out a sigh and make my way inside, hoping Jack won't do anything stupid.  
  
"Where's daddy?" Kate questions. I begin stripping out of my coat and other winter accessories as I hear the door open.  
  
"Jack?" I turn around to meet his gaze.  
  
"He shouldn't be back to bother you."  
  
"Who?" Hannah questions eyeing her father and then me.  
  
Jack shucks off his coat and shoes and heads toward my mother. "Did you tell him where we lived? Why?" Jack's face grows red and he's filled with anger.  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Sam's father!" Jack shouts. The girls stand staring at each other in fear. They both run off to their bedroom, not sure what's going on.  
  
"Jack stop." I move my hand to his arm to cool him down. "You're scaring the girls." I remind him.  
  
"Why are you here?" Jack questions, his voice calmed down quite a bit.  
  
"To visit my daughter. Is that so terrible?"  
  
"It is when you bring back her father."  
  
"He wasn't as horrible as Sam makes him out to be." My mother tells Jack.  
  
"You always protected him" I shake my head in dismay. "You let him beat you like a ragdoll and kept going back until he left you for someone half your age."  
  
"You're one to talk" my mother answers.  
  
"Get out of our house." I tell her. "Get out and don't ever come back."  
  
"Sam." Her voice is calm.  
  
"Leave, now!" I shout, my eyes wide with anger. "I don't ever want to speak to you again."  
  
"I'm your mother" she reminds me.  
  
"A horrible one at that" I retort. "Stay out of my life."  
  
I open the front door, watching as Jack tosses my mother her duffel bag. "There's a bus down the street. It'll take you into the city for a hotel. Don't think of coming back here. I want nothing to do with you." I tell her.  
  
She leaves the apartment and I feel my eyes brimming with tears.  
  
"Come here" Jack pulls me to him, brushing soft kisses along my eyes and my cheeks. "She's gone." He reassures me.  
  
"I know" I let out a soft sigh.  
  
"What did she mean by 'your one to talk?'"  
  
"Jack, don't" I shake my head. "Why don't you go check on the girls?"  
  
He lets out a sigh and heads to the girl's room. I take a seat on the sofa, wiping my eyes and glancing down at my hand.  
  
"This is supposed to be a good day" I whisper out, eyeing my engagement ring. 


	54. Chapter 54

"This is supposed to be a good day" I whisper out, eyeing my engagement ring.  
  
******  
  
"Samantha" I hear Hannah's voice and watch as the two girls come over to the sofa. My eyes are no longer wet but I'm fairly confident my face is red. "Let me see it."  
  
Hannah takes my left hand and eyes the ring. "It's pretty" Kate interrupts as Hannah inspects the ring.  
  
"It is" she smiles towards me, giving me a hug.  
  
"Where do you girls want to eat for dinner?" Jack questions.  
  
"We get to go out?" Kate's smile widens.  
  
"I don't see why not. Besides, we have something to celebrate."  
  
"Jack we can stay in" I tell him.  
  
"I know. I want to go out though, show you and my two beautiful daughters off to the world."  
  
"We should be saving money" I point out.  
  
"Then we'll spend less on the wedding" he teases.  
  
"About that."  
  
"Don't tell me you have second thoughts now."  
  
"No" I shake my head. "It's not that. I just want something without a lot of people. Besides who are we really going to invite?"  
  
"What are you getting at?"  
  
"I want to go someplace and elope."  
  
"Are you serious?" Jack eyes me intently. I nod my head. He lets out a soft breath, "whatever you want Sam." He bends down, moving his lips over mine softly.  
  
"You know we'll have to do it either really soon or after the baby's born?" Jack eyes me seriously. "I don't want to wait until right before, it's too risky."  
  
"I understand" I take his hands and give them a gentle squeeze.  
  
"Where are we going to dinner?" Kate interrupts.  
  
"Where do you want to go sweetheart?" Jack asks her, moving to sit down on the sofa with us.  
  
"Some place nice" Hannah states with a smile. "Or else we could always stay in and order a pizza?"  
  
"Pizza!" Kate's eyes light up.  
  
"Does that work for you?" Jack questions.  
  
"Yeah I'm not exactly in the mood to go out. Sorry."  
  
"Don't be. We'll talk tonight when the kids are in bed" he whispers, and presses a soft kiss to my cheek.  
  
"Sounds good."  
  
"In the meantime, I'm going to order dinner." He stands up, heading for the fridge to grab the number and then the phone.  
  
Once we're through eating and the girls are in bed, Jack takes my hand, walking with me into the bedroom.  
  
I take a seat on the edge of the bed, glancing down at the ring. "You didn't have to."  
  
"I wanted to" he answers, bending down to brush his lips against mine.  
  
"Thank you" I whisper out, closing my eyes as I feel tears trailing their way down my cheeks.  
  
"Shhh" he brushes his thumbs against my cheeks. "Don't cry" he sits down beside me, pulling me into his embrace. "Maybe it would be good for you to see Lisa again." He suggests eyeing me seriously.  
  
"No" I dismiss the notion. "I'm fine, really."  
  
"Today proves you're not fine Sam. I'm not fine watching what happened. I can't even imagine what you must be going through."  
  
"I just don't understand why he's back."  
  
"He won't be" Jack tells me. My head rests against his chest, as his hands brush against my hair.  
  
"What'd you do?" I pull back, glancing into his eyes.  
  
"I threatened him. Told him if I ever saw or heard from him, I'd hunt him down myself and kill him."  
  
"Jack."  
  
"The only thing he ever did for you was leave."  
  
"It saved me" I whisper out. "He would have probably beaten my mother or worse" I cringe at the notion of how my own life might have turned out.  
  
"I don't understand your mother though. Where she comes off."  
  
I shake my head, pulling out of Jack's embrace. I scoot my way onto the bed, with my head on the pillows. "My first marriage" I let out a sigh and in a soft breath continue, "I never told anyone why it didn't work out. It wasn't for the lack of romance Jack. Although that certainly dwindled quite a bit" I'm quiet, contemplating how much to tell him, "he was a lot like my father. He never once raised a hand to me, but I just knew."  
  
"Sam." He moves to lie beside me. He rests on his side, his hand moving to brush the hair away from my face. I glance towards him, feeling tired and worn.  
  
"My mother knew when I married him how he was. I protected him, didn't believe her. I couldn't." I shake my head. "One day I came home and saw a hole in the wall and I just knew I had to get out before he ruined my life. That's when I decided I needed a change of pace."  
  
"New York" Jack answers with a nod.  
  
"Yes."  
  
I roll onto my side, feeling Jack's hand move from down my waist to hold me close.  
  
"It doesn't really matter what happened in the past." I point out.  
  
"Sure it does. It makes us who we are."  
  
"Does it?" I shrug at the thought. "All I know is I'm here with you now and that makes me happy." I try and smile but I'm too emotionally drained to do it.  
  
I close my eyes, feeling Jack's warm body comforting me into a night of tranquil sleep. 


	55. Chapter 55

A month and half follows and I glance in the mirror at my reflection. My body as grown quite a bit, at just under six months along and thankfully in good condition.  
  
"Ready?" I hear Jack's voice calling me from the living room, as I slip on what I can.  
  
"In a minute" I answer. A series of knocks on the bedroom interrupt me. "Come in" I offer, glancing to see Jack slipping into the bedroom.  
  
"We're going to be late" he reminds me.  
  
"Then we'll catch another flight."  
  
"This is the last one out today. Come on" he moves to stand in front of me, buttoning my blouse and then grabbing my bag from the bed.  
  
Two hours later, I sit on the plane, feeling overly anxious with a full bladder. My legs bounce as Jack moves his hand to rest on my thighs.  
  
"What's wrong?" He eyes me seriously. "You're not having second thoughts and are about to leave me, are you?" I feel the plane slowly backing up and the flight attendants preparing for take off.  
  
"I need to use the bathroom" I groan out.  
  
"Didn't you go before we boarded the plane?"  
  
"Yes but that was over half an hour ago!"  
  
"Samantha" Jack lets out a soft laugh and I softly punch him in the shoulder.  
  
"You carry a baby on your bladder?" I eye him.  
  
"As soon as we're airborne I'll walk with you back."  
  
"I can handle it on my own." I remind him. "Sorry" I let out a breath, "I just have to go really bad." I feel my legs bouncing as we finally taxi the runway and take off. As our plane reaches its altitude and the seatbelt sign shuts off, I immediately jump to my feet as fast as my stomach will take me, and head for the back of the plane.  
  
A few minutes later I return, feeling refreshed.  
  
"Better?" Jack questions.  
  
"For now" I answer. "Are you sure you want to marry me?" I question.  
  
"Not a doubt in my mind." He presses a soft kiss to my lips.  
  
We land at our destination and take a cab to the hotel we're staying at in Hawaii. The scenery is beautiful and the weather fantastic. I feel as though I'm walking on air, living the brightest and most vivid dream of my life.  
  
"Samantha" I hear Jack's voice from behind as I stand on the balcony, overlooking the oceanfront.  
  
"It's beautiful" I tell him.  
  
"So are you."  
  
"Stop it" I shake my head. "I can't believe we waited so long to do this."  
  
"I know" I feel his chin on my shoulder and his hands along my stomach. "The baby's kicking" Jack whispers and I nod.  
  
"Yeah must be as excited as we are," I offer. "You are excited about this?" I turn around in his embrace, meeting his eyes.  
  
"Of course? Why wouldn't I be?"  
  
"I just want to make sure we're doing this for the right reasons, and not because I'm pregnant."  
  
"Baby or not, I'd want to marry you. I've wanted to spend the rest of my life with you for so long. If anything I'm surprised you accepted my proposal. Maybe I should be the one worrying if you're doing this so the baby has a father." He eyes me seriously and a grin tugs at the corner of his lips. "I love you" he tells me. "I will always love you" he presses a soft kiss to my lips as I close my eyes and lean my head into his chest.  
  
"I love you too."  
  
We prepare for our vows and the short ceremony with Hannah, Kate, and Marie there. After our vows are spoken and the rings exchanged, I feel a huge grin on my face as Jack's lips meet mine. I can't contain my excitement and the feeling that is overtaking me.  
  
Marie gives us her congratulations as we both embrace the girls in a hug. "I'll take the girls out to the beach" Marie offers, taking Kate's hand and eyeing for Hannah to follow her. "We'll catch up with you tomorrow."  
  
"Are you sure?" Jack questions.  
  
"It's your wedding night Jack" Marie points out. "I would hope you wouldn't deprive her of that already."  
  
My eyes glance towards Jacks as his face turns red.  
  
Jack's hand slips into mine as we make our way back to the hotel room.  
  
"I don't want you to think just because we're married now we have to." Jack is interrupted by my lips on his and my hands in his hair.  
  
"It's been too long" I remind him.  
  
"Too long?" He laughs softly, shrugging out of his clothes as my hands work on the buttons and tugging the material over his head. "It's barely been a week." He teases.  
  
"All the more reason to finish what's been started" my lips fuse with his, a fiery sensation building and burning between us. I feel Jack's hands on my skin, his fingers slowly working on the zipper but not peeling my clothes off of me just yet..  
  
My hands dance along his back, bringing him down on top of me. His lips tease down my neck, trailing a path of flighty kisses. There's a series of knocks on the door.  
  
"Go away" I shout. Jack slides off my frame. "Where are you going?" I question.  
  
"To put the 'Do not disturb' sign on the door."  
  
He slips on the complimentary robe, before opening the door.  
  
Jack lets out a gasp before I hear his body falling to the ground. My eyes widen as I see my father making his way over, with a rag in his hand.  
  
"Jack" I cry out, backing towards the balcony and wishing I suddenly had my gun with me. "Someone please help!" I cry out, feeling my heart pound and my adrenaline rush.  
  
I slip through the glass door, closing it behind me, and holding onto the handle. His body moves closer, coming towards me, as I continue to call out for help.  
  
"Please someone! He wants to kill my baby!" I vie out, hoping the words will signal someone to call for help.  
  
I continue screaming, glancing down the balcony and the three flights to the floor. If I jump I know for a fact it would not be a good decision. I eye the distance to the next story and consider doing what I may have to.  
  
I glance over to see the woman staying next door opening her door. "Please" I cry out, tears evident in my eyes as I hold the door to keep my father from coming outside. "Call 911" I tell her. She moves away, and I can only hope someone will come for me before it's too late.  
  
I glance back, seeing Jack on his feet and wrestling with the intruder. I open the door, running in to help Jack and hoping to find an object I can use as a weapon.  
  
"Sam get out!" He shouts to me. Both men are tumbled on the floor, bruised and fighting for their life. I hear police cars in the distance and Jack fails to have the upper hand. He's lying below, his body being pummeled. I move towards my father, tossing my shoe at the back of his head.  
  
He moves towards me as Jack lies there dazed and confused. I quickly back up, moving to get away from him. I grab my hand on the doorknob, pushing my way outside and into the hall as I run barefoot down and towards the elevator.  
  
I feel his hand in my hair, gripping my scalp as I scream for help. I feel a knife dig into my abdomen as his other hand makes me choke for air.  
  
"Please!" I cry out in agony as I feel the blade scrape at my stomach..  
  
"I'm saving you" he answers with a deep laugh, "from what I had to go through."  
  
"Get away from me" I shout, trying to get myself loose but feeling the blade slowly draw blood. He pushes on the elevator button, the door opening and unfortunately no one there to witness this scenario.  
  
He pushes the button for the thirteenth floor and I internally groan at the thought. "What do you plan on doing with me?" I question, feeling the elevator jolt to a stop as he roughly pushes me down the hallway and towards the door of the suite. I slip my ring from my finger, dropping it to the ground, hoping Jack will see the subtle clue I've left him.  
  
"Protecting you, like a father should."  
  
"Some father you were" I retort, feeling myself being thrown onto the bed. "The only thing you ever did decent was leave. I should have known you would have taken that rare gift away" I mock.  
  
"You're wrong. I'm looking out for you. Making sure you don't marry him for all the wrong reasons. So you don't get wrapped up in a life that was not meant for you."  
  
"Why don't you let me decide what I want for my life?" I question. "Besides it's too late. We're already married."  
  
"Well then that's too bad. I guess your Jack Malone is going to be losing his bride for eternity."  
  
"What?" I scoot back on the bed, moving myself away from him as he approaches.  
  
"You look just like your mother did" he muses, reaching his hand out to touch my hair. I'm pressed with my back against the wall. Trying to get away from him.  
  
"Is that why you're here? To be with her again?" I try and get into his mind, knowing he's not all there mentally.  
  
"Something like that" he grins wickedly. "Only this time I'm going to make things right." My eyes widen in fear. "This time no child will be born" he tells me as I feel my breathing intensify and my legs go weak. My body gives out, as I fall to the floor in a heap, my hands cradling the life within me.  
  
"Please no" I shake my head. "Don't hurt my baby" I tell him.  
  
Sweat trickles down my forehead, as I feel my skin grow clammy. My stomach churns with fear as he pulls on my arm, tugging me to my feet and throwing me like a rag doll to the mattress.  
  
"You don't want to do this" I try and reason with him. My eyes hold pain as I know what's yet to come and I feel my eyes growing heavy with fatigue.  
  
He moves towards me, and I shift away, trying to get myself off the bed even though my head is now pounding. His fingers move a pill to my lips as I keep them shut. He plugs my nose, causing me to gasp for air as he shoves the drug down my throat, causing me to cough. His fingers are gone too fast from my lips to bite down, but I still try. Instead I feel the flesh of my teeth and gums, and wince in pain.  
  
"There, there" he tells me, stroking my hair away from my face.  
  
"No" I shake my head, my mind growing foggy as I try and stand up. My legs and arms are dead weight as my body feels like several tons of boulders are holding me down. "My baby" I mumble, although I'm sure my words aren't coherent. I feel myself being pulled into darkness as I struggle to keep my eyes open. "No" I murmur out before being taken into oblivion. 


	56. Chapter 56

"No" I shake my head, my mind growing foggy as I try and stand up. My legs and arms are dead weight as my body feels like several tons of boulders are holding me down. "My baby" I mumble, although I'm sure my words aren't coherent. I feel myself being pulled into darkness as I struggle to keep my eyes open. "No" I murmur out before being taken into oblivion.  
  
*******  
  
I hear a series of beeps and my eyes groggily open, remembering where I am. I glance around the room, it's not where I was left and realize I'm in a hospital.  
  
"Jack?" My voice is scratchy and filled with fear when I don't see him nearby. I feel tears threatening my eyes. What if I lost the baby and Jack left me? What if something terrible happened to Jack? What if.I see Jack making his way in through the door and his eyes widen in surprise when he sees me awake.  
  
"Samantha" his smile widens as I look deeply into his face. He doesn't look so good, his hair tousled, his eye has a cut underneath it and his lip is fairly swollen. "Your awake."  
  
"What happened?" I question, feeling him take my hand and move to sit beside me.  
  
"I went downstairs to the lobby to look for you. I described you and who you were with. They never saw you come downstairs. We thought that you might have taken the back way out, but the alarm hadn't been activated. We searched each floor and that's when I found this" he tells me, sliding the wedding band from his pocket and slipping it back onto my finger. "I thought I lost you for good."  
  
"I'm fine" I reassure him, feeling my eyes grow heavy. "How's the baby?" I question.  
  
"Unbelievably doing well. They had to stabilize you after what you were given. It took some work and some immediate concern but right now things look ok. They want to keep you for observation though." Jack tells me.  
  
"And where's."  
  
"He's being held downtown" Jack quickly answers.  
  
"I was going to ask about Hannah and Kate."  
  
I feel Jack's smile on his face radiating down at me, even with shuteyes.  
  
"I didn't want them to see you and me like this." He answers. "I called Marie and told her what happened. She was concerned and decided to take the first flight out, even after we caught the guy."  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"No Sam, you have no reason to be."  
  
"Yes I do" I feel tears threatening my eyes. "I should have fought more and."  
  
"No" Jack tells me sternly. "Everything is fine. Doing that might have changed the outcome" he presses a kiss to my lips. "Get some rest." He eyes me and stands up.  
  
"Don't leave" I whisper out.  
  
"I'm just going down to the cafeteria to get something. How about I bring you some food back too?"  
  
"Cafeteria?" I wince at his words. "If you're going to leave me, you better come back with real food."  
  
"What'd you have in mind?"  
  
"Something that doesn't come from a can" I answer with a smile, feeling myself being pulled into sleep again. 


	57. Chapter 57

Four weeks pass and we've yet to consummate our marriage. It's not that we haven't been intimate, we've been warned to take things slow from the doctors because of the stress I've been under, and the health of the baby.  
  
Hannah and Kate are staying with Marie for the weekend, while Jack and I have planned to spend the weekend together.  
  
The past few weeks have been rough emotionally and physically after the latest ordeal. Thankfully everything came from the hospital saying the baby was ok, but everything that occurred has taken a toll on me. I've been plagued with fatigue and have worked only three days the past week.  
  
Jack accompanied me to the doctor the previous day and her recommendation was to have some quality alone time, because of her fear for me slipping into depression.  
  
I fought with Jack about her words, telling him I'm really fine and he'd know if something was bothering me. Truth is though, I never told him exactly why my father took me. I shrugged and said I didn't remember much and didn't really want to talk about it.  
  
He's tried to arrange for another visit to Lisa's for my mental wellbeing but I've cancelled those appointments again.  
  
So it was Jack's decision to stay home for the weekend and to keep his attention on me. I told him it was stupid and he should see his girls because he doesn't see them that often. He told me they'd understand. I wasn't too inclined to put up a fight. I agreed maybe a little too easily because I know he's trying to do this for the right reasons.  
  
I hear the front door open and glance back to see Jack making his way in the house.  
  
Van Doren gave him the rest of the afternoon off, after he explained how he's been concerned about me. I tried to talk him out of it, but his stubbornness got the better of him.  
  
"Hey sweetheart" he bends down, pressing a soft kiss to my forehead.  
  
"How was work?" I question, watching as he sheds his coat and moves to take a seat on the sofa beside me.  
  
"Closed another case. That's why Van Doren let me out early."  
  
"You didn't tell her?"  
  
"No" he shakes his head. "I respected your wishes" he moves his hand to mine, squeezing it affectionately. "How was your day?"  
  
"I laid around most of the morning. We took a walk just a little while ago" I tell him, moving his hand with mine over my abdomen.  
  
"You doing ok?" His eyes meet mine.  
  
"Yeah" I nod, "I've just been tired. You know that" I remind him.  
  
"I'm worried about you."  
  
"Don't be" I answer firmly. "I'm really fine. I promise."  
  
"I'm concerned. This has been bottling up since your mother coming."  
  
I glance out the window, not wanting to remember the situation.  
  
"She's my mother" I whisper out, "and you've seen my father isn't much better."  
  
"No kidding" Jack answers, moving his lips to my neck for a soft kiss. I turn my head, meeting his eyes.  
  
"It's just a lot to deal with, and then the baby's coming soon. I don't even feel ready to be a mom."  
  
"You'll be great."  
  
"It's not just that Jack. We haven't even situated the nursery yet. We've been avoiding it."  
  
"You've been avoiding it, I've been busy" he answers. "Do you have any aunts or other family members you could call? Maybe that would help the way you've been feeling."  
  
I stare at him silently and let out a sigh. "I'm not sure that's a good idea."  
  
"Why?" He questions.  
  
"She doesn't approve of you."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"My sister." Jack's jaw drops as he stares at me.  
  
"We're married, and you failed to mention you had a sister?"  
  
"I still haven't met your father." I remind him.  
  
"And you're not going to" he nods, closing that path of conversation. "What's her name?"  
  
"Chloe" I answer. "She's older by a few years. Remember when I told you I was going to run away when I was younger? I was heading to her house."  
  
"Oh" Jack nods his head.  
  
"I'd like to see her, she always was good at cheering me up. I just don't think she'll be happy to see me pregnant and married to you."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"She knows about the affair and thinks I'm stupid." I answer plainly.  
  
"I was the stupid one" Jack responds.  
  
"Tell her that" I shrug. "It doesn't really matter. I mean I'd love for our kids to have extended family to visit but it's not the end of the world."  
  
"I think it'd be nice" Jack answers. "As long as she doesn't go insane and try to kidnap you."  
  
I give Jack an evil stare and smack him lightly.  
  
"I love you too" he answers, pressing another kiss to my neck.  
  
"Will you hold me?" I whisper out, glancing my eyes into his.  
  
"Of course." He moves his arm around my shoulder.  
  
"If you can," I quickly add.  
  
"Sam?" His eyes meet mine. "What's on your mind?"  
  
"This" I wave towards my pregnant belly. "It's been a lot to deal with. We haven't even scheduled Lamaze classes" I remind him.  
  
"I'll set it up" Jack answers. "You don't have to worry. I'll be there the whole time."  
  
"I know. Thanks" I give him a soft kiss on his cheek. "I'm sorry we haven't made love in a while."  
  
"Whenever you're ready. I've just been worried that something happened to you."  
  
"I'm fine."  
  
"Sam" he moves his thumb to under my chin. "Your father didn't."  
  
"God no!" I interrupt him. "He wanted to kill the baby but" I pause letting out a sigh, "I don't remember all that much. He said he was doing it for me, but I have a feeling he saw my mother and wanted to kill me." I shiver at the thought, "I know it sounds crazy."  
  
"He's crazy" Jack answers. Pulling me into his embrace.  
  
"I want to, again" I tell him, "it's just been hard" I let out a sigh. "I'm so big" I laugh softly.  
  
"You're going to get even bigger" he points out. "You've got another 2 months till your due."  
  
"I know" I roll my eyes.  
  
"You look beautiful."  
  
"No I don't" I shake my head with a laugh. "I look awful."  
  
"You could never look terrible. You're the most beautiful woman in the world."  
  
"You're a horrible liar."  
  
"I'm not lying" he presses another kiss to my neck. "How about I run you a bath?"  
  
"Will you join me?" I question.  
  
He laughs softly, "I'm not sure we have a big enough tub for three. I'll keep you company though." He answers.  
  
Jack stands up, taking my hand and helping me to my feet. I head with him towards the bathroom, waiting for him to fill the tub. "Tell me if it's good?" I run my hand in the warm water and smile.  
  
"Perfect." I answer. "Would you mind?" I nod towards the door.  
  
"Of course not" he heads out of the bathroom as I slip out of my clothes and pour some bubbles into the bath. I slip into the tub, submerging myself into the water. I hear Jack knocking softly. "Can I come in?"  
  
"Jack" I whine out, "I thought I was supposed to be relaxing?"  
  
"I'm going to help." He adds, peeking in through the door. "I can't see anything, I promise" he tells me. "Although I'm wishing I could" he peers over the bubbles, my belly protruding from the water. "Sam" I hear his voice hold concern.  
  
"What?"  
  
He slowly moves towards me, his hand drawing itself to my stomach. There's a small scar from the blade of a knife a month ago that cut into my skin. Jack hasn't seen it yet, and maybe that's one reason why I've been pulling away from him intimately. Afraid he'll realize the weight of the issue and the seriousness of what could have happened.  
  
His finger softly runs around the scar, then glancing towards my eyes.  
  
"In Hawaii" I answer his question.  
  
"Does it hurt?"  
  
"It did for a while."  
  
"Why didn't you tell me?"  
  
I shrug. "It wasn't that important. It's a scratch."  
  
"No Sam it's worse then that. Does your doctor know?"  
  
"Yeah they gave me some stuff while I was in the hospital. It helped a lot."  
  
Jack's eyes widen. "The baby was ok, right?"  
  
"Yeah" I nod, "we got lucky."  
  
He lets out a sigh of relief and grabs a washcloth from the counter. "Is this ok?" His eyes meet mine and I let out a breath and a nod.  
  
He dips the cloth in the water before running it over my arms and down my sides. My eyes watch his as they examine my body. I feel myself turning red from his attention. His eyes linger along my chest as he dips the cloth down and into the water below the bubbles.  
  
"I've never known you to be shy about anything." Jack eyes me seriously. "Least of all your body."  
  
"I've never looked like this before" I point out. "I liked it when it was only a few months but now" I run my hand along my abdomen, "I have stretch marks. It's so disgusting."  
  
"They'll go away."  
  
"Yeah right" I laugh, shaking my head.  
  
"Until you're pregnant again."  
  
"I think one is enough. We also have your girls" I remind him. "I don't think I can handle any more."  
  
"You say that now" he laughs, "you wait and see."  
  
When I finish in the tub, Jack helps me to my feet and wraps a large towel around me, keeping me warm. "I'll let you get changed" he offers, slipping from the bathroom. I grab his hand on his way out.  
  
"Stay" I suggest. "I might need your help."  
  
"Come on" he answers, taking me into the bedroom and rummaging around through my maternity clothes for something to wear.  
  
"How about a shirt" I suggest. "It's less restraining."  
  
"Button or pull over?"  
  
"Button" I answer from the bed. Jack pulls a top out, and brings it over towards me. I release the towel, feeling his hands brush against my breasts as he pulls the shirt around my shoulders and over my frame to button. He works delicately on each white button to secure it. "Thanks" I tell him, as I finish drying off and slip on a pair of underwear.  
  
He presses a soft kiss to my forehead. "I'm sorry I've been reluctant lately."  
  
"About?"  
  
"Having sex" I let out a sigh. "I just haven't felt really desirable, you know? I know it sounds crazy but with all the other pressures lately." I trail off.  
  
"You are the most desirable woman in the world. You're body is just one thing I love about you Sam." I smile slightly. "You want to hear a secret?"  
  
"What?" I eye him curious.  
  
"Martin's still head over heels for you. So I'm not the only one attracted to a pregnant woman."  
  
"You're joking."  
  
"I wish I were. If I don't watch out, you might run away with him."  
  
"In your dreams" I answer, pulling him towards me. "Thank you" I whisper out. You've been wonderful throughout all this" I pause, "throughout everything" I reaffirm.  
  
"I know what we can do this weekend."  
  
"What?" I eye him curiously.  
  
"We'll go shopping for the baby's room."  
  
"Jack" I whine out.  
  
"Oh come on. By the time you'd offer to do it, our son or daughter will be having their own children."  
  
I shrug and let out a soft laugh. "Yeah probably."  
  
"We'll make a date of it this weekend. I know a really nice shop, they have a great bassinet."  
  
"Jack we can't afford."  
  
"Let me worry about it. You have enough on your mind. In the meantime I think you should try and get ahold of Chloe if you want to see her before the baby's born. When was the last time you talked to her?"  
  
"Before the pregnancy" I point out. "A few weeks before we got involved again." I answer. "She was against me working in the unit with you. She figures you have some sort of hold over me, power wise, and that's why I did this."  
  
"Is it?"  
  
"No" I laugh softly. "Well maybe in the beginning. It wasn't about power though. It was about needing someone and you were there but you weren't. It's what I needed at the time and you could give that to me. She called my bluff though. She knew I was falling in love with you and wanted more. The last time I talked to her she thought I should get as far away from you as possible because you were trouble."  
  
"Why didn't you listen?"  
  
"It would have broken my heart." I glance into Jack's eyes. "Why are we discussing my sister?"  
  
"Why haven't you mentioned her before? You know I have a brother." He reminds me. I nod, "you also know a lot about him. I just want to know everything there is to know about you."  
  
"No secrets in this marriage?" I tease, "Awww come on Jack, just one." My smile widens as he presses a kiss to my lips.  
  
"Only one and it better not be about an affair."  
  
"The only affair you might have to worry about is me and Agent Malone, I've had my eye on him for awhile" I tease with a laugh, feeling my chest vibrate and the baby fluttering around.  
  
"As long as it's not Agent Fitzgerald."  
  
"Martin?" My eyes widen, "you've got to be kidding me. If I didn't meet his expectations he'd call daddy dearest on me."  
  
"Yeah he probably would" Jack laughs at the thought.  
  
"Mmm feel" I tell him, putting his hand on my stomach as I feel the baby move around.  
  
Jack's lips form upwards in a smile.  
  
"Can you feel that?" I question.  
  
"Yeah" he lifts my shirt enough to expose my stomach and presses a soft kiss to my skin. "You seem like you're doing better." He acknowledges.  
  
"It helps to have you around. I've been missing you."  
  
"We still see each other all the time."  
  
"Not when I'm only working 3 days a week and doing paperwork."  
  
"You're not going into the field Sam. You're a target."  
  
"I know. The baby" I roll my eyes.  
  
"I'm serious."  
  
"I know you are." I let out a soft sigh. "I just hate what our jobs do to us."  
  
"It's also what brought us together." He reminds me.  
  
I nod my head, "yeah" I breathe out. "I just wish there was an easier way to do this."  
  
"Me too." He presses a kiss to my forehead.  
  
"Can you get me the phone?"  
  
"Sure." Jack grabs it from the cradle and hands it to me. 


	58. Chapter 58

"Can you get me the phone?"  
  
"Sure." Jack grabs it from the cradle and hands it to me.  
  
*****  
  
"I think I'll try Chloe." I tell him. I dial her number and roll onto my side. I feel Jack shift around and move to lie behind me. I feel his hands on my back, teasing my shirt up, as he runs soft circles over my bareskin. I let out a soft breath, feeling slightly aroused from his touch.  
  
"Chloe." I breathe out, hearing her answer the phone. "How are you?"  
  
"Good Samantha. I haven't talked to you in ages. How's it going."  
  
I let out a soft breath, "a lot has happened lately."  
  
"So I've heard."  
  
"How?" I question.  
  
"Word travels fast. I'm sorry about dad" she tells me. "Also congratulations on the baby. I wish you would have called sooner."  
  
"Sorry" I wince. "I'm only 7 months along. Maybe you could come up sometime."  
  
"Maybe. I'd have to arrange to get off work. The single life doesn't exactly thrive.ahh nevermind sis. No sense in me boring you."  
  
"You're not." I tell her.  
  
"So who's the lucky?"  
  
"Jack Malone. We eloped in Hawaii."  
  
"You did? Funny how our family left that out of the picture."  
  
"Well surprise" I tell her with a soft chuckle.  
  
I feel Jack's hands caressing my skin. I shut my eyes, feeling a smile play on my lips as I continue talking to her.  
  
"So no lucky guys?" I question.  
  
"You know me. Flighting from one to the next" she laughs softly, the same recognizable laugh I have.  
  
"That I do" I answer. "I learned from the best."  
  
"You sound like you did well. Snagged one while you could. Even if he was married."  
  
"Chloe!"  
  
"Hey I can't say I haven't done that myself. Although I never married the bastard. I just slept with him."  
  
"Jack's a great guy" I counter.  
  
"I'm sure he his. So I'll get to meet him? Anything I should be forewarned about? Tongue-ring, tattoo's, any other exotic piercing?"  
  
"Chloe!" My eyes widen with a laugh as I shake my head. "No those were my younger days."  
  
"Yeah I forgot to mention doctors, firemen, the police department."  
  
I cut her off, "that was just one guy for each."  
  
"Yeah so that's what you've told me. I wonder what Jack knows."  
  
"Don't you dare!" I exclaim, sitting up in bed.  
  
"Oh come on, you're inviting me to stay, I want us to have fun."  
  
"Torturing your poor baby sister." I point out.  
  
"You can handle your own. Isn't that why you joined the FBI and the NYPD."  
  
"Something like that" I laugh softly. "I should probably let you go. You think you can come in for Christmas?"  
  
"Should be able to. I'll call you in the next few days to confirm. Love you Samantha."  
  
"You too Chloe." I hang up the phone and roll around in Jack's embrace. His hand rests on my side, holding me somewhat close.  
  
"All's good and right with the world?" Jack teases.  
  
"For now" I answer. "When she comes in she could help with buying for our nursery."  
  
"I thought we were going to do that this weekend?" Jack reminds me.  
  
"Oh yeah" I laugh, shaking my head. "Slipped my mind already. I guess I had other things on my mind."  
  
"Like?" His eyes perk up.  
  
My lips brush against his as my hand trails down his chest and moves under his shirt.  
  
"Sam" he breathes out in a husky tone. His eyes shut as he revels in the sweet feeling his body is experiencing.  
  
"Let it go" I tell him, trailing my nails against his skin as I hear him let out a low groan.  
  
"We can't" he answers, grabbing hold of my hand and stopping me from going further. "You're still fatigued and I can't take the risk."  
  
"Jack I'm fine" I reassure him. "I just haven't been in the mood lately and now" I move my mouth to his ear, teasing the skin as I work my way down his neck, "I am" I breathe out.  
  
My hands pull at his belt buckle as his breathing quickens.  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Always" I answer, "besides we want this marriage to last, we better do what married couples do" I tease with a laugh, pressing kisses against his stomach as I unbutton his dress shirt and tug it off his arms.  
  
"I don't want to hurt you" he tells me, "after all that you've been through, your body needs time to heal."  
  
"It's been a month" I remind him between kisses, "I'm better."  
  
"Emotionally?" He eyes me steadily. My lips move to his but he's unresponsive, waiting for my answer.  
  
"I'm getting there" I tell him.  
  
"Not good enough." He pulls away from me. "I know I'm going to regret this but Sam I think we should wait."  
  
"What?" My eyes widen, "till when?"  
  
"After the baby's born. Or I know you're really fine."  
  
"I am" I groan out with a sigh, "I need you Jack" I whisper out, feeling my pulse continue to race as my body throbs for his touch. I continue to graze his chest with my hands and I move my lips over his skin. "Tell me you don't want this?"  
  
He lets out a heavy breath, his eyes shut as he tries to regain his concentration.  
  
"You know I do but I can't in good conscious do something that could hurt you or the baby."  
  
"Too late" I point out, securing my clothes before heading into the living room.  
  
"Samantha" I hear Jack let out a sigh and a few moments later his footsteps pattering down the hallway. "You know I love you."  
  
"Yeah I love you too" I answer, feeling him take a seat beside me and sliding his arm around my frame. I lean my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes for a second. "So this weekend we'll work on the nursery?" I glance towards Jack.  
  
"Yeah I think it would be a good idea."  
  
The phone manages to interrupt us. Jack pulls away, heading to get the line.  
  
"Hello?" He questions. I manage to hear bits and pieces of his conversation, "yeah" he pauses and eyes me with a sigh. "That's not our jurisdiction. FBI or not a break out isn't what the missing persons unit is about. No I don't care what you think. You find the bastard." Jack slams down the phone.  
  
"Are they calling you in?"  
  
"Trying to." He lets out a sigh.  
  
"Who was that?"  
  
"One of the guys from the NYPD. He was helping in our investigation. Apparently Capinski broke out of lock-up."  
  
"How?" I question.  
  
"Someone managed to set a fire. They had to move the prisoners and in the chaotic mess he managed to escape."  
  
"I'm betting he started the fire." I tell Jack.  
  
"Probably."  
  
"Shouldn't you call Van Doren, and make sure." he silences me with a kiss.  
  
"If she wants me to work the case, she'll call. Why go looking for work when it's not there?"  
  
I nod my head in agreement. I glance down at the beautiful wedding ring, "I don't feel like things have changed."  
  
"What do you mean?" Jack's voice is soft in my ears.  
  
"Our relationship being a secret from Marie. Now it's a secret from the job. I hate it Jack, lying and pretending we're not together."  
  
"Danny and Vivian know" Jack reminds me.  
  
"Yeah" I nod, "So does Van Doren. Martin's figuring it out, I think."  
  
"It won't take long before he recognizes the similarity in wedding bands."  
  
"He asked me about it" I whisper out.  
  
"When?"  
  
"Last week when I was doing paperwork."  
  
"What'd you tell him?"  
  
"That I wear it to rid people from thinking I'm a single mother. You know what he did Jack? He offered to help me out. I felt terrible for lying to him after that."  
  
"We can't trust him with the truth though. If he gets jealous Sam, he could use it against us."  
  
"I know" I nod my head with a sigh. "It just doesn't feel right. Hiding the marriage."  
  
"If it wasn't alright Paula would have stepped in." Jack points out.  
  
"I know. So long as I keep my last name and we appear professional at work we can be in the same unit. It's stupid though" I let out a sigh. "I love working with you Jack, but I hate acting like we're just friends. I hate lying to everyone else but most of all myself. Pretending that this was all some sort of dream."  
  
"I know" he whispers out softly. "I can have you transferred to another division if that would make things easier for you."  
  
"No" I shake my head. "I wouldn't want to Jack. I couldn't imagine working with anyone but you."  
  
"I feel the same way" he brushes his lips against mine.  
  
The phone interrupts us again and Jack lets out a sigh before grabbing it. "Hello?" He pauses glances towards me and then away quickly. "Yeah. No I haven't forgotten. Can we talk about this some other time? Yes" he glances towards me, and I feel as though he's talking about me. I shrug the notion off. "I agree. Do you need me there?" He lets out a sigh. "I'd prefer to get this done now," He answers. "I'm aware, ok I'll see what I can do." He hangs up and moves to get off the bed.  
  
"Work?" I question.  
  
"Yeah. I thought the case was finished but there's some last minute stuff I need to send out."  
  
"You need me to help?" I glance towards Jack as his eyes fail to meet mine.  
  
"No" he shakes his head. "You rest up or something. It won't take me long."  
  
"You're going into the office?" I inquire.  
  
"No just the other room. I have what I need on disk" Jack answers. He fastens the buttons on his shirt, "I figure I can email the file. If you need anything, give a holler."  
  
"You know I will." I answer.  
  
He slips out of the bedroom and I feel my stomach knot. I have a sneaking suspicion that his phone conversation wasn't with Van Doren or anyone else from the unit. I glance towards the door and then over to the phone at the caller id box. I redial the familiar number, waiting for the voice on the other end to respond. 


	59. Chapter 59

He slips out of the bedroom and I feel my stomach knot. I have a sneaking suspicion that his phone conversation wasn't with Van Doren or anyone else from the unit. I glance towards the door and then over to the phone at the caller id box. I redial the familiar number, waiting for the voice on the other end to respond.  
  
******  
  
"What's going on?" I question.  
  
"Samantha?" I hear Danny's voice on the other end.  
  
"Yeah you called." I point out.  
  
"Needed to run something by Jack. I also have some bad news I thought you two might like to know."  
  
"What?"  
  
"After Jack hung up I got a call from the hospital. Martin went in with the unit to try and find the suspect that escaped custody. Unfortunately he found Martin first."  
  
"Shit."  
  
"Yeah he's critical Samantha. I thought you two should be the first to know. I'm going to notify his father."  
  
"Thanks Danny." I hang up the line and slip out of bed. I make my way into the living room to see Jack hovering over the computer.  
  
"Hey sweetie" Jack glances up towards me. "I'll be done in a few minutes if you want to go out."  
  
"I called Danny."  
  
"What?"  
  
"You weren't specific about what was going on and I had a sneaking suspicion there was something else."  
  
"So you didn't just ask me?" Jack's eyes narrow as he looks deep into mine with an intense amount of anger.  
  
"No" I let out a sigh and take a seat across from him. "I have new news, and it's not good."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Martin's been shot." Jack's eyes widen as he lets out a sigh. I see his face go pale as I make my way towards him, moving my hand over his. "I know, I feel the same way."  
  
"No Sam" he shakes his head. "It's my fault."  
  
"You didn't shoot him, did you?"  
  
"No but that's the point. I could have very easily shot the bastard that did this. I had my gun trained on Capinski and I didn't do it."  
  
"Jack you can't second guess."  
  
"I know" he lets out a sigh, "it could have very easily been you out there."  
  
"Jack" I pause seeing where this is going. I pull him out of the desk chair and towards the sofa to sit down with me. "I'm fine. You're fine. Martin may not be. It's terrible what's happened but it's not your fault. You can't go blaming yourself for something you had no control over. It could have very well been you lying there."  
  
"It should have been."  
  
"Damn it Jack!" I let out a frustrated sigh. "When are you going to realize this hurts me as much as you?"  
  
He shakes his head no. "You didn't have to go through the pain of thinking the worst Sam. You didn't see the awful look on your face."  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"When I traded my life for yours. When I walked into the bookstore and saw you lying on the floor, blood pooling around your leg. You face was so white Sam. I thought you weren't going to make it. I thought you might die on me when I walked over to you."  
  
"I'm fine." I reassure him, squeezing his hand.  
  
His voice is soft, cracking as though he's torn inside and on the verge of tears.  
  
"Sometimes late at night I still see the gun that was aimed at my forehead. I still feel the heat on my body and the sweat on my face. Sometimes I still hear his voice, asking me why I traded your life and" his voice breaks as I pull my arms around him, "I know I did it back then because I loved you." His face is hidden in my shirt as I feel him breathing in my body and my very existence.  
  
"Jack" I whisper out, running my hands over his back and through his hair. I press soft kisses along his skin as I pull his face up to meet mine. "You did more then anyone in their right mind would have. I never blamed you for what happened in there."  
  
"I did" he whispers out, shutting his eyes so he doesn't have to look at me. "I sent you in and thought nothing of it. I didn't even consider the dangers."  
  
"Jack it's a part of the job. Everyday we go in and risk our lives."  
  
"I could have gotten you killed."  
  
"You didn't" I remind him, "you saved me." I feel his lips on my neck as he moves his head back to my chest. "I know you don't want to hear this now Jack, but we need to visit Martin and get his version of events. Besides we should pay him a visit, it's the right thing to do." I eye him with a glare, "even if you wouldn't pay me a visit."  
  
"What?" He looks taken-aback by my statement.  
  
"Just forget it" I wave my hand to dismiss the comment.  
  
"No I won't." He firmly answers. "What are you talking about?"  
  
"After I was shot in the leg. You never came to visit me. I was devastated but grateful you came in to save me. I figured one outweighed the other and I forgave you."  
  
"You're not remembering things correctly Sam. I was there."  
  
"No Jack. I think I'd remember seeing you. I thought about it all the time. Wondered if you'd come. I knew you were going back to her though. I never held it against you, it just hurt."  
  
"Sam I was there. You saw me."  
  
"No" I shake my head. "I didn't."  
  
"Yes" his lips are forming in a soft laugh. "I can't believe you don't remember. Must have been some pretty powerful painkillers."  
  
"What'd you do? Hide in the vents or behind the curtains? Maybe you were outside my door and didn't come in?" I eye him steadily.  
  
"No Sam" he lets out a breath. "I sat with you after surgery. I waited for you to wake up. You looked at me and then fell back asleep. The nurse came in and told me visiting hours were over."  
  
"I don't remember."  
  
"I'm hurt you'd think I wouldn't visit you."  
  
"You never showed up again." I point out.  
  
"I couldn't. I was trying to work things out with Marie, so I had other obligations."  
  
"I see."  
  
"I wanted to though. I thought you knew I came. You looked pretty out of it, but you saw me. Stared right at me for a good minute before closing your eyes again."  
  
"Are you sure this wasn't some other mistress you visited after she got shot?" I tease with a laugh.  
  
"Fairly confident. Then again maybe I should be more careful not to mix you women up." I smack his arm playfully. "Be nice," I warn him.  
  
"Aren't I always?" He grins towards me, pressing a soft kiss to my lips.  
  
"Yes usually. Come on" I have him help me to the door. "We should check up on Martin, see how he's doing."  
  
"Is it wise to go together?" Jack eyes me.  
  
"Oh come on" I roll my eyes. "He's going to figure it out sooner or later." 


	60. Chapter 60

"Is it wise to go together?" Jack eyes me.  
  
"Oh come on" I roll my eyes. "He's going to figure it out sooner or later."  
  
******  
  
We arrive at the hospital as Jack follows me and we glance around for Danny. "Samantha" I hear Danny's voice and glance around.  
  
"Martin's upstairs in surgery still. I was in the waiting area but needed a break" he lets out a sigh.  
  
"Where was he shot?" I question.  
  
"In the chest."  
  
"He wasn't wearing a vest?" Jack's voice grows louder.  
  
"I don't know the details" Danny shrugs. "I'm only telling you what I've heard."  
  
Jack takes me hand, squeezing it silently as we follow Danny to the waiting area. We take a seat with Danny to my left and Jack on my right. Jack's arm slips around the chair, allowing me a small token of comfort in a rather uncomfortable environment.  
  
"In a few months I'll be here" I whisper into Jack's ear. He eyes me peculiarly, not understanding what I'm saying. "The baby." I remind him.  
  
"Downstairs yeah" he nods, running his fingers through my hair. "We need to join a Lamaze class" he reminds me.  
  
"I know. I just keeping thinking maybe if I put it off, it won't hurt. Doesn't make much sense" I shrug and let out a soft sigh. "Do you think we should head down to the giftshop and get Martin something?"  
  
"Balloons?" Jack questions.  
  
"Flowers?" I offer as a suggestion.  
  
"Candy" Danny teases with a laugh.  
  
"I doubt he'll be in the mood to eat much Danny" I remind him.  
  
"We are talking about Martin here." Danny answers.  
  
"I'll go down and see what there is. You want to come?" Jack eyes me and then Danny.  
  
"I'll stay here, in case there's any news." I answer.  
  
"Keep an eye on her Danny."  
  
"Jack!"  
  
He presses a soft kiss to my lips before slipping away.  
  
"I never got to properly congratulate you two on the marriage."  
  
"Thanks" I quickly respond.  
  
"So how's married life with him? Better or worse then being the mistress?" Danny's face lightens up with a wide grin, before I smack his arm.  
  
"Don't be such a jerk."  
  
"I'm only kidding" he quickly answers. Danny eyes me seriously, watching as I glance towards the corridor waiting for Jack to reemerge. "Are things not going well between the two of you?"  
  
"No" I shake my head. "Jack's a great guy." I answer and pause, trying to come up with a good answer.  
  
"He's controlling?" Danny suggests.  
  
I weigh the issue, and shrug, "not really" I let out a sigh, "aside from the work debate."  
  
"Yeah we were wondering who's decision it was for you to become part time."  
  
"Not mine."  
  
"I was thinking that. Although after everything that happened I don't disagree with his decision."  
  
"Everything that happened?" I eye him suspiciously.  
  
"With your father."  
  
"Jack told you?" I question.  
  
"You can't keep things like this from me Samantha. We're friends, right?"  
  
"Yeah of course Danny."  
  
"Then why didn't you tell me about it? Why did I have to find a file on Jack's desk to piece together why you were out for awhile?"  
  
"You went snooping?"  
  
"Not exactly." He answers and glances towards Jack who's sporting a small bouquet, a few get well soon balloons, and a small tin of candy. I offer to hold the flowers and Danny grabs the candy.  
  
"Finish your story" I tell him.  
  
"Maybe later."  
  
Jack glances between us and all is quiet. "Yes finish your story" Jack offers. "Unless it's about me." He eyes Danny and they both look to me.  
  
"I was telling Danny about my father, and that's part of why I haven't been working as much."  
  
"And the baby" Jack points out. Jack slips his arm around me, and glances towards Danny, "it's been a rough pregnancy. There were a few complications in the beginning" Jack reminds me.  
  
"Protective" I eye Danny. "Remember what you asked earlier, that's my answer."  
  
Jack eyes me. "Yes I'm protective if that's what you're getting at. It's because I want to make sure you both stay healthy and safe."  
  
"Jack" I roll my eyes. "I can take care of myself." I point out.  
  
The doctor comes over, "are you here for Martin Fitzgerald?"  
  
"Yes" we all stand up, Jack helping me to my feet. "He's in a private room at the moment. I'd appreciate if only one went in to see him at a time. Preferably his immediate family only. He's still not out of the woods just yet, but we managed to remove the bullet and stop the bleeding."  
  
"Is he awake?" I question.  
  
"Not yet. It shouldn't be long though. He's in room 315."  
  
"Thank you" Jack offers, taking my hand as we head towards his room.  
  
"So much for the one visitor rule." Danny interrupts.  
  
"We'll wait outside his room." I offer.  
  
"No you go in first" Danny eyes me, "he'd rather wake up to your smiling face."  
  
I eye him before feeling Jack's hand drop from mine as I slip into Martin's room. The curtains are open, with the sunlight painting the room in tones of orange as the sun sets. I hear Martin groaning out slightly and I move to sit beside him.  
  
His eyes open, glancing around to see me there beside him. "You came" his voice is a hush, with his throat dry and his body in pain.  
  
I offer him a drink of water, as he slowly downs the liquid.  
  
"Of course I came" I answer. "I know this isn't a good time, but we need your statement."  
  
"I know" he lets out a sigh, closing his eyes. "I saw who shot me."  
  
"Was it Capinski?"  
  
"No" Martin closes his eyes, remembering the event unfold before glancing towards me. "Is Jack around?"  
  
"Yeah he's out in the hallway. You want me to get him?"  
  
"No" Martin shakes his head. "He'll finish the job."  
  
"What are you talking about."  
  
"Jack did it."  
  
"Martin you're delirious. Jack was with me when this happened. Besides why would he shoot you?"  
  
"I don't know" he shakes his head. "Maybe because I'm in love with you."  
  
"Martin" I let out a sigh, moving my hand over my abdomen.  
  
"Let me be the father. I want to Sam." 


	61. Chapter 61

"Martin you're delirious. Jack was with me when this happened. Besides why would he shoot you?"  
  
"I don't know" he shakes his head. "Maybe because I'm in love with you."  
  
"Martin" I let out a sigh, moving my hand over my abdomen.  
  
"Let me be the father. I want to Sam."  
  
********  
  
"You can't" I shake my head, "you'll be the babies uncle." I offer. "You can help watch the boy or girl when I start going insane." I tell him. His eyes look far off and distant as I take his hand in mine. "You know Jack would never want to hurt you."  
  
"I know" he lets out a sigh. "It doesn't make sense, but it looked just like him."  
  
"Someone wearing a mask?" I question.  
  
"I saw his face Samantha."  
  
"Maybe someone in the makeup industry. They do film some movies here" I remind him.  
  
"His voice though.he had an accent."  
  
"What did he say?"  
  
Martin closes his eyes, remembering the voice, "death is the only honorable discharge" he lets out a breath, "then he shot me."  
  
"What kind of accent?"  
  
"Russian maybe. Why did he look like Jack though?"  
  
"I don't know. I'll be back though. I know Danny wants to say hi and your dad is probably here now." I tell him.  
  
"Why'd you call him?" He winces at his fathers name being mentioned.  
  
"You didn't want us to?"  
  
"I doubt he'll show up."  
  
"I don't believe that." I answer, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. "Get some rest." I remind him.  
  
"Thanks Samantha."  
  
I smile in response, making my way to the door and eyeing Jack. "Danny why don't you go in, I need to talk with Jack."  
  
"Alright." Danny heads inside the room and I take a seat on the bench outside the hall.  
  
"What'd he say?" Jack questions.  
  
"He saw who shot him" I answer, "he says the guy looked exactly like you."  
  
"As in build, height."  
  
"Jack I mean as in Martin thought it was you."  
  
"That's crazy!"  
  
"I know. He had a Russian accent though" I tell him. "Some guy wearing a mask with your face on it?" I question. "Who would do that to you?"  
  
"What'd he say?"  
  
"Death is the only honorable discharge." I let out a sigh, "does that mean anything to you."  
  
"I think it might." He takes off down the hall.  
  
"Jack!" I call after him.  
  
"I need to pay someone a visit. Danny will give you a ride home."  
  
"Jack" I let out a sigh and wait a few minutes before peeking my head into the room. "Jack left." I whisper out, eyeing Danny and then Martin.  
  
"You don't think he's involved?" Danny questions, obviously up to speed on our latest development.  
  
"No" I answer, wide-eyed. "He's my husband. Besides he's Jack Malone. He might rule with his heart but he'd never hurt anyone."  
  
"Your husband?" Martin chokes out.  
  
"Shit" I whisper under my breath, eyeing Danny. "Didn't I tell you?"  
  
"You wouldn't marry me, but you married him?" Martin questions.  
  
Danny eyes me and then Martin, obviously getting an ear full.  
  
"He's the father Martin." I tell him. "That doesn't mean I think any less of you, but he's the one I'm in love with."  
  
Martin looks as though he's been stabbed in the heart, if being shot in the chest wasn't bad enough.  
  
"So the guy who did this wasn't Capinski but you were after him?" I question. "Are we sure this is an unrelated incident?"  
  
"No" Martin shakes his head, slowly. "I went with the sheriff and we split up when we got to an abandoned warehouse. We got an anonymous tip and when we arrived we heard gunshots. We couldn't wait for backup." He lets out a tired breath. "Capinski was there. He was doing some sort of a business deal with who I thought was Jack. Next thing I know, Capinski is lying there dead and the gun's trained on me."  
  
"Business deal?" I question.  
  
"He was making a payment. For murder maybe? Perhaps to get Jack Malone. I don't know" he lets out a sigh. "I didn't see much and I've told you everything I remember."  
  
Danny and I make our way into the hall to discuss what we think is going on.  
  
"Capinski was involved in the disappearance and murder of Jacob Collins. We don't have a solid motive but we have plenty of DNA evidence along with the murder weapon."  
  
"A gun?" I question. "The same weapon Martin was shot with?"  
  
"They'll have to run ballistics on it." Danny points out.  
  
"I don't see how Capinski ties to Jack Malone or whoever he was talking to."  
  
"Maybe Jacob's death wasn't just murder. I'm thinking it was a hired hit."  
  
"By who, the wife?" I question.  
  
"Seems possible." Danny lets out a sigh, "where'd Jack go?"  
  
"He just stormed off on a lead. I told him what Martin said. I think he knows who did this. I don't understand why he wouldn't say anything specific though."  
  
"Maybe he doesn't want to incriminate the person, especially if it's a friend." Danny offers.  
  
"Jack would have told me" I let out a sigh.  
  
"You don't keep any secrets from each other?" I'm quiet, thinking over his words. "That's what I thought." Danny responds. "Call Jack" he tells me, "find out who he's going to see. Try and reason with him, he may be over emotional."  
  
"Tell me about it." I let out a sigh. Heading down towards an area that allows the use of cell phones. I dial Jack's number.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Jack" I whisper out, "where are you?"  
  
"Taking care of something. Can Danny give you a ride back?"  
  
"I don't know. I'm sending him to where you are. Whoever shot Martin was involved with Capinski" I tell him. "You should be careful. He was involved in some sort of business deal and he killed Capinski. He'll likely try and kill you" I point out.  
  
"No he won't" Jack answers. "Not if it's who I think it is." He hangs up and I let out a frustrated groan.  
  
"Damn it" I feel myself growing frustrated as Danny walks with me down to his car.  
  
"I'll take you home" he offers. I take a seat in his car, closing my eyes as we head towards my apartment. "You never finished telling me about your father." Danny reminds me.  
  
"It was our wedding night" I glance towards him and let out a sigh. "There was a knock at the door and the next thing I know Jack's lying on the ground unconscious. I ran onto the porch, trying to keep away. I knew I couldn't stay there forever and once Jack regained consciousness a few minutes later, I ended up back inside the house while Jack was fighting my father. He wasn't winning" I let out a sigh. "I ended up being dragged into a room he rented upstairs and he drugged me. Told me I looked just like my mother and he was doing it for my own good. I'm pretty sure he was going to kill the baby."  
  
I feel tears on my cheeks. I wipe them away as quickly as they're shed.  
  
"Then what happened?" He questions, moving his hand to mine for reassurance.  
  
"I don't remember" I shake my head. "I woke up in the hospital. Jack told me they came in just minutes later." I answer.  
  
"What about your wedding night? Doesn't seem the kind of memorable you'd want it to be." He teases.  
  
"Certainly not" I let out a sigh. "I can think of a million other way that would have been more enjoyable."  
  
"Like?"  
  
"Spending the night in his arms, not in a hospital bed. I'm not telling you anything else," I warn him. "You're heard more then you should have." He pulls in front of my home. "I hate to ask this Danny but would you mind coming up?"  
  
"I was going to try and track Jack down. Would you rather me send someone else on it?"  
  
"Could you?" I question. "It's not that I can't be alone, it's just" I let out a sigh. "I have a strange feeling that something's off."  
  
"What do you mean?" He questions as I key the door and open it.  
  
"I can't explain it. Maybe I'm hanging around Jack's daughter Hannah to much" I laugh softly.  
  
"Cute kid." Danny remarks, taking a seat beside me on the sofa.  
  
"Yeah her and Kate are. You've met them?"  
  
"Oh yeah. Jack's taken them to the park. Sometimes I take a jog around there."  
  
"It's not near where you live" I comment.  
  
"So, there's some good looking woman that live in the area."  
  
"I should have known" a huge smile grows on my face as I can't help but shake my head and laugh. "You're something else Danny."  
  
"Thanks" he answers.  
  
I hear the door open and Danny jumps up to see who it is. 


	62. Chapter 62

"Thanks" he answers.  
  
I hear the door open and Danny jumps up to see who it is.  
  
****  
  
"Jack" I hear my voice escape my lips as he stumbles through the door, bruised and disheveled.  
  
Danny rushes over, helping Jack to the sofa as I head into the kitchen to grab some ice and some supplies to bandage him up.  
  
"I'm fine" he mumbles as I place an icepack over his swollen eye.  
  
"No you're not" I answer. "What were you doing? Trying to get yourself killed?"  
  
"Trying to stop things from getting worse. You don't know what we're dealing with Samantha. You think your father being after the baby was bad. If these guys know I'm the father of your child, they'll not only kill the baby."  
  
I interrupt him, "I get the point." I give him a frustrated look as I let out a sigh. "What would I do if something happened to you? I want you there to help me raise this child" I remind him.  
  
"I will be."  
  
"Not if you're running off taking unnecessary risks" my voice grows angry. "You can't just up and leave when you see fit."  
  
"What was I supposed to do? Let him kill again? Samantha you don't know what's going on. Stay out of it." He lets out a loud breath, closing his eyes so he doesn't have to face me.  
  
"Danny" I eye him to help me out.  
  
"Jack you can't run off and not inform the team where you're going."  
  
"It was personal not work related."  
  
"Bullshit!" I exclaim.  
  
"You went after whoever shot Martin."  
  
"So what if I did."  
  
"Damn it Jack! You can't do that. You'd be pissed if Danny or Vivian did that" I remind him.  
  
"You don't know what's going on."  
  
"Then inform me" I respond.  
  
"It doesn't work like that."  
  
"To hell it doesn't! We're married. You're not keeping secrets about where you're running off to." I tell him. "I'm looking out for you Jack but I can't knowing you're putting this baby and my life in jeopardy."  
  
He lets out a sigh, putting his head in his hands.  
  
"You're right." Jack tells me. He slips out his cell phone.  
  
"Who are you calling?" I question.  
  
"Marie. I think it would be a good idea if you stayed with her for the next few days."  
  
"Jack" I whine out.  
  
"She can stay with me" Danny offers.  
  
"No" Jack shakes his head. "I want you here to help me on this investigation."  
  
"Are you going to tell me what's going on?" I question.  
  
He lets out a sigh, "if you promise to go to Marie's afterwards."  
  
"Jack."  
  
"Please" his voice is soft and his eyes are pleading with me.  
  
"Fine." I answer. "Now tell me what's going on." 


	63. Chapter 63

"Fine." I answer. "Now tell me what's going on."  
  
*****  
  
"When I was younger, my first job I got was at this Russian place. I was the bus boy. One night I decided to leave out the back where there was an alley. I knew the other guys hung outside there sometimes" He lets out a sigh. "I opened the door and witnessed them beat someone to death because he wanted to leave the gang. Adrian Borislav was the man I went to see today. He was the only one that saw me open that door and he told me never to tell anyone if I didn't want to die the same way. I was young and naïve. I never told a soul, until I heard what Martin said today. It sounded like Adrian, and sure enough" Jack lets out a sigh.  
  
"What happened while you were there?" Danny questions.  
  
"He was waiting for me. He knew I'd show up. He was pissed because apparently Capinski and him had some sort of deal going down and we interrupted it."  
  
"A pay off?" I question.  
  
"That's what I thought. No" Jack shakes his head. "Jacob Collins, the man who was murdered got into an argument with Capinski. Apparently that's how they settle their arguments." Jack tells us. "Capinski met with Adrian, they had an original arrangement to hock a couple of cars for the gang."  
  
"Why was Adrian looking like you?" I question.  
  
"He thought it would be funny. He knows I'm a FBI Agent. I went down to see him a few months back, I remembered hearing about another unit looking in on their team, so I gave him a heads up and told him it'd be best if he got clean or got out of town. I didn't tell him he was under investigation but I told him I wouldn't be involved in taking him down. So Adrian thought if he got caught, he'd pretend to be Jack Malone. Funny right?" Jack rolls his eyes.  
  
"They didn't think the voice would give it away?" I question.  
  
"They had a device that would change his voice, but it got destroyed in the breakout involving Capinski." Jack answers. "So it started with Capinski and Adrian wanting to steal a few cars for sport. I showed up tonight to set Adrian straight. Tell him to lay off my division and my men. Martin had nothing to do with him and Capinski deserved to go to jail for what he did. He didn't understand how I could send one man to jail and not two. He told me I was traitor to my country for not turning him in."  
  
"Why didn't you?"  
  
"Do you think I want a gang after my family Samantha? I've witnessed the horror stories and people having to live in the witness protection program. If I turned a blind eye I'd be allowed to live freely. I did what I thought best for my family." He answers. "I know it's not exactly right but these guys don't stop. If I arrested him I'd have to take down their leader too. Here's where things get interesting" Jack tells me. "Now that Martin's been shot, I can't let things go between me and Adrian. He shot one of my agents" he lets out a sigh. I pulled my gun and we got into a fight. Next thing I know there's two other men in the room kicking the shit out of me. They escorted me to the door, and told me to leave. Adrian looked back and told me it was far from over. I have a bad feeling Samantha."  
  
"You think he's going to come after us?" I question. "Does he know where we live?"  
  
"No he doesn't, but it wouldn't surprise me. He's ticked off that I would even consider ratting him out. He thinks were pals or something" Jack lets out a loud puff of air. "Anyways I pissed him off by sending Capinski to jail and interrupting their transaction and now he's after my family."  
  
"Just great" I answer.  
  
"I've already set up people to watch Marie's house and the girls are playing inside. I'd feel safer with you there."  
  
"As an agent or your pregnant wife?" I question.  
  
"Both" he answers, pressing a soft kiss to my lips. "I don't want to see anything happen to you. I know Marie will keep an eye on you and the baby" Jack points out.  
  
"So could Vivian."  
  
"No" Jack shakes his head. "This is better. There's going to be agents around the clock at her home. It would be best if you were there to. Just in case he tries to come after you, there will be protection."  
  
"But."  
  
"You said you'd go if I told you why."  
  
"Yeah you're right I did" I let out a breath. "I'll be fine" I answer.  
  
Danny eyes me, "you said you were worried earlier Samantha. You felt like something was off."  
  
"I know" I bite down on my lower lip. "I still don't feel like everything's right, but Jack's here so I feel at ease.  
  
"It'll only be a night, two the most."  
  
"You promise?"  
  
"Would you rather be in witness protection?"  
  
"No" I shake my head with a laugh. "As much as I've always hated my name, I really wouldn't want to change it."  
  
"That's what I thought" he gives me a soft kiss on the lips. "I promise I'll make it up to you" he whispers into my ear.  
  
"You always say that" I tease.  
  
"I will. Anything you want."  
  
"Anything?" I answer with a grin, glancing over to see Danny with a wry smile on his face.  
  
"Just ignore me over here."  
  
"No problem" I tease. 


	64. Chapter 64

"Just ignore me over here."  
  
"No problem" I tease.  
  
*******  
  
Jack dials Marie's number and explains to her what's going on. Once he hangs up the phone, I head into the bedroom with Jack following behind. He grabs a bag from the closet, helping me pack some things for the night.  
  
"Do you know how awkward this could become?" I warn Jack.  
  
"For you or me?" He laughs. I roll my eyes and let out a sigh. "You know it's easier and safer to have more agents at one premises then split at two. Besides I need to know your safe while we try and stop this guy. I don't want to find out something horrible" he tells me.  
  
"I know. I feel the same way. Promise me you'll be careful."  
  
"Aren't I always?"  
  
"Jack I'm serious." I run my hand along the corner of his cheek, the only patch of skin not turning an ugly shade from his recent encounter.  
  
"I love you" he reaffirms, pulling me into him for a hug. "I'm going to drop you off at her home and I'll call you in the afternoon with an update tomorrow." He tells me.  
  
"I love you too" I respond, drawing circles along his back as he holds me close. "Promise me we'll get through this."  
  
"Don't we always?" His lips meet mine for one final kiss before Jack and Danny drive me over to Marie's.  
  
"Come in Samantha" she tells me, opening the door as I follow behind her. I feel Jack's hands on my back as he carries my bag inside and Danny follows as well. "I just finished dinner. Jack didn't say whether you'd eaten or not. There's plenty if you're hungry."  
  
"That would be great." I respond.  
  
"I'm going to put her bag in the guestroom." Jack tells Marie.  
  
He goes down the hall and I hear Marie's voice calling to him. "The rooms are changed."  
  
He glances in and I follow to see the girls in their own bedrooms. "I figured it was a nice change of pace. Besides Hannah's getting older now."  
  
"They can share a bed tonight" Jack points out. "I don't want her sleeping on the sofa."  
  
"Would I do that?" She answers.  
  
"If she wasn't pregnant I wouldn't put it past you."  
  
"Ouch" Marie answers.  
  
"Listen I can go to a hotel."  
  
"No" they both answer at the same time.  
  
Marie finishes her sentence, "stay the night. Jack's right the girls can share a bed. It's not like they haven't before."  
  
"I feel really bad."  
  
"Don't" Jack tells me. "They're your daughters too" he presses a soft kiss to my cheek and my head turn so my lips brush his briefly. For the shortest of kisses, I feel a spark and the baby kicking. I can't help but laugh as I move my hand to my stomach. Jack moves his hand over my stomach softly. "I'll be back tomorrow to pick you up hopefully. In the meantime you girls stay around here. If you need anything, there's enough agents to handle it for you."  
  
"Does that include cooking?" I tease.  
  
"Very funny" Jack answers, waving goodbye as he slips out the door with Danny in toe.  
  
I glance towards Marie as she eyes my stomach. "You're really showing" she states the obvious.  
  
"Yes" I nod, running my hand along my abdomen. "Not too much longer." I tell her.  
  
"Do you know the sex yet?"  
  
"We're waiting." I answer.  
  
"I can't believe Jack agreed to that" she shuts her mouth, and glances towards the door. "Dinner's on the table. Come on" she tells me, as I follow her to the kitchen. I take a seat in the empty chair, watching as the girls start in on their food.  
  
"Samantha" Hannah's smile widens. "You're having dinner with us?"  
  
"She's staying the night girls. Ja.Dad had to work so Samantha's going to keep us company."  
  
"Will she tell us a bedtime story?" Kate questions, glancing from me to her mom.  
  
"We'll see" Marie answers.  
  
Once dinner's done the girls put on a movie and we all get comfortable on the sofa. Kate sits in Marie's lap and Hannah between us.  
  
As the movie plays on, the girls fall asleep and Marie carries Kate into her room while I wake Hannah and walk in with her to tuck both girls into bed together.  
  
"Will you read us a story" Kate whispers out, half in and out of sleep.  
  
"Another night, ok?"  
  
"Promise?" Kate questions.  
  
"I promise." I answer, letting Marie give the girls a kiss goodnight.  
  
"Give me a hug and kiss too" Hannah tells me. I head on over to tuck both girls in before shutting the door behind me.  
  
Marie and I head into the living room, flipping through the channels to see what's on.  
  
"I don't know how you do it." Marie breaks the silence as I feel my heart race.  
  
"Do what?"  
  
"Deal with a man that's never home. Always on call, or another case. Sometimes I felt like he was married to his job when we were together."  
  
I bite down on my lips, thinking it's definitely true. Especially when we were sleeping together and he was married. "He does what he loves" I tell her. "Besides cutting back isn't an option unless he changes divisions. It's not really a big deal to me. I understand the pressures and the hours of the job."  
  
"And I didn't?"  
  
"That's not what I meant." I quickly answer. "Listen I'm sorry" I tell her. "When Jack and I.when we.I never meant for all this to happen."  
  
"The baby?" She questions.  
  
"That and falling in love with him. It wasn't supposed to be like this. I'm just really sorry." I tell her. "I never wanted to do anything to harm your family. That's why we ended it."  
  
Marie's quiet for a moment, listening to my words.  
  
"I know it's none of my business and I probably shouldn't ask you this, but when did you sleep with him? Besides the obvious" she glances towards my stomach. "I mean the first time."  
  
"We were at the office late and the electricity went out. We had a few more hours of work to do so I invited him over."  
  
"I don't want to hear the details. I meant when."  
  
"It was a while ago."  
  
"When we were separated?"  
  
"I don't know" I answer. "He kept that from me for some time." I respond. Truth is it was before the separation and during, but I don't have the heart to tell Marie that.  
  
"We separated because I accused him of having an affair. I threw him out one day when he came home and lied about where he'd been. I don't know if he was with you for work or some other purpose, but it felt off. Whether he considered cheating or did, I knew something was up. Sometimes I wonder if that's what pushed you two together." She states quietly.  
  
I don't have a comforting answer for her. If she wanted the truth I could give her that, but I doubt that's what she's looking to hear.  
  
"I should get to bed" I tell her, standing up slowly and heading into Kate's bedroom for the night since both girls are in Hannah's. 


	65. Chapter 65

"I should get to bed" I tell her, standing up slowly and heading into Kate's bedroom for the night since both girls are in Hannah's.  
  
*******  
  
I slip into a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt for bed. I make my way between the covers, closing my eyes and remembering the first time with Jack.  
  
The lights flickered in our office as I glanced up to Jack. The paperwork was spread across the desk over a file that I can't claim to remember and wouldn't want to bother even trying. The missing was gone and it was getting closer to the 48-hour mark. We studied every obstacle, every angle, and every person. The clues were shrinking and the time was ticking.  
  
We had mountains of paperwork to sift through, hoping to find some clue from the missing girls life and we did just that, hour after hour.  
  
As the lights flickered Jack's eyes met mine. The darkness startled me and I heard him shift around, and turn on his flashlight.  
  
"We should get out of here" he spoke aloud. "There's a café around the corner. Maybe they're still open."  
  
"Till midnight" I glanced down at my watch. "That was three hours ago." I reminded him.  
  
"Maybe if we head home we can get some sleep still."  
  
"There's too much to be done" I reminded him, gathering the papers and piling them into the folders they were designated to. "I'm going to take this back to my place. You're welcome to join me" I offered, watching as the lights flicked on and off once again.  
  
"Bad storm?" Jack suggested, helping me gather what I could. "I thought there were back up generators."  
  
"Probably for when people work" I pointed out with a laugh. "Come on" I told him.  
  
Jack drove with me back to my house. I unlocked the door, files in hand as we spread them across my coffee table. I flipped the lights on with a satisfied grin. "Perfect" I answered, heading towards the floor to take a seat and examine what we have.  
  
"You mind if I make coffee?" He questioned, eyeing the kitchen.  
  
"Think you can find everything?" I responded, watching as he searched through the cabinets and in no time had the coffeepot on.  
  
I felt my eyes growing heavy and I leaned back against the sofa, resting them for only an instant. I failed to hear Jack's footsteps approaching but his hand brushing my hair away startled me awake.  
  
"Maybe you should get some sleep. No sense in two of us being up at ungodly hours of the night."  
  
"And leave you up and alone in my house? I don't think so" I teased lightly, feeling his hand in my hair as he slowly pulled away. "Sit" I tugged on his hands, bringing him to sit down beside me on the floor. I closed my eyes, letting out a soft breath and moved my head onto his shoulder for support.  
  
"Why don't you head into bed?"  
  
"Will you join me?" I probed the question but kept my eyes shut as I imagined his face turning red. Maybe I was delirious from the lack of sleep, but I was ready to seduce him. His body beside mine, his warmth sitting there making me ache.  
  
I let out a soft moan, teasing him and unavoidably turning him on. I felt his hand cup my cheek, his thumb grazing the skin as a soft puff of air escaped my lips. "Jack" I whispered out, my eyes fluttering open to glance over into his dark orbs. As his eyes met mine our bodies soon after became joined.  
  
I will never know who initiated the first kiss between us. Our bodies were pulled together by some blinding mass, a fierce intensity that beated stronger then our hearts combined. As I awakened in his arms, tangled in the mass of bedsheets I felt refreshed and at ease. The worries of the job, the case, and the fact we had an affair were far from my mind.  
  
"About last night" Jack's words interrupted my peaceful morning of lying in his arms, with his warm body holding me close.  
  
I silenced him with a kiss to his lips, "shhh" I answered, pressing another kiss and probing deeper as I held him tight against me.  
  
"We should be getting up soon. We have work" he reminded me.  
  
"Shit" I glanced over at the clock, seeing we were already running late but knowing it wouldn't be the last time.  
  
I close my eyes in the dark bedroom, feeling utterly alone in Marie's home. How awkward tonight was and how much worse it could have gotten plague my mind as I try and fall asleep.  
  
I hear my cell phone vibrating against the table and lean over to answer it. "Hello?"  
  
"I wanted to wish you a good night." Jack answers.  
  
"Awww thank you," I tell him, blowing him a kiss into the phone.  
  
"How's Marie behaving?" He teases.  
  
"She asked me about us." I answer. "She wanted to know when we first."  
  
"Did you tell her?"  
  
"Sort of. She doesn't know if it was before or during the separation. I didn't think it was my place to say."  
  
"I'm sorry" he whispers out. "I know she can be difficult at times."  
  
"Yeah well, the girls will be around in the morning, that tends to help."  
  
"Goodnight love."  
  
"Night Jack." I answer, before shutting off the phone, closing my eyes and falling asleep. 


	66. Chapter 66

"I'm sorry" he whispers out. "I know she can be difficult at times."  
  
"Yeah well, the girls will be around in the morning, that tends to help."  
  
"Goodnight love."  
  
"Night Jack." I answer, before shutting off the phone, closing my eyes and falling asleep.  
  
********  
  
"Samantha" I hear Kate's soft voice and her hands gently rocking against my side. "Breakfast is ready."  
  
"Thanks" my eyes open to see her smiling form. "I'll be in the kitchen in a few minutes."  
  
"Now" she whines, taking my hand and tugging me out of bed.  
  
"Can I get changed first?"  
  
"No" she answers, ushering me out the door and into the kitchen.  
  
"Morning" Marie tells me, as I head on over to take a seat at the kitchen table beside Hannah. "I hope you slept well."  
  
"I did. Thank you" I answer politely before starting in on breakfast. Once we're through, I work on cleaning up the dishes with Hannah's help.  
  
"Mommy can we go to the park?" Kate questions Marie.  
  
"No sweetheart we have to stay inside today."  
  
"Why? Is something bad going to happen if we go out?"  
  
Marie glances over towards me, not sure how to approach the subject, or perhaps she's angry with Jack and I for what's become of the situation.  
  
"They're not after you Kate" I tell her, taking a seat and drawing my hand along my stomach. "Remember when Hannah had that dream?" Hannah moves to the sofa to listen in, "there's some people that don't want me to have this baby." I tell them. "You're mom and the police outside are here to protect me" I offer the words, hoping to comfort the girls rather them then consider their own lives to be in danger.  
  
"Why didn't you stay with Daddy?" Kate questions.  
  
"Your father went to stop these bad people so this couldn't ever happen again. He wanted your mom to keep an eye out on me because I'm so far along with the baby." I offer the words, in part because they're true.  
  
Marie nods a simple thank you towards me and I smile in response.  
  
"Samantha" Hannah tugs on my arm, so I turn my attention to her.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"The bad people you're talking about. Are they your mom and dad?"  
  
"No" I answer and pause. "Why?"  
  
"Because I had another dream about them."  
  
"What happened in your dream?" I question.  
  
"You and dad were asleep in bed and they came in and took your baby."  
  
"Hannah you shouldn't make up those kinds of stories" Marie scolds her.  
  
"I'm not." She grinds her teeth, her jaw tight with anger at her mother's non-belief of the scenario.  
  
"Who came Hannah?"  
  
"I don't know" she pauses thinking back over and remembering her dream, "it was dark. I think they were both there, but I'm not sure. I heard your mom's voice though, she was praying or something."  
  
I keep the details in my mind, intent on finding out more, just in case it is significant.  
  
The phone interrupts our conversation and Marie stands up to answer it.  
  
"Yes. Hold on." She brings the phone with her into the living room. "Girls it's your father. Talk real quick to him."  
  
"Hi Daddy" Kate takes the phone first. "Yeah we're being nice to Samantha." She pauses and eyes me, "she had breakfast. Guess what we found out she's here for us to protect her. Is that true? Do I get to play an FBI agent like my daddy?"  
  
A minute or so later I see her with a wide grin before she hands the phone to Hannah.  
  
"Hi dad." She glances up at the ceiling and around the house as she listens to his words, "can we go out today?" She here's his response then comments by saying "awwww. Here" she hands me the phone.  
  
"Hi Jack."  
  
"How's things going?"  
  
"Good" I answer.  
  
"Does that mean uncomfortable and it's a code word?" He teases. "I remember that game." I can't help but crack a grin.  
  
"How's the case coming along?"  
  
"Viv's running background and she's giving an address to scout out. I'm hoping we'll find the bastard and put an end to this, once and for all."  
  
"Be careful," I warn him.  
  
"Aren't I always?"  
  
"Yes" I let out a sigh. "Is Danny around? Or are you still getting ready?"  
  
"I've been up since four." He answers somewhat offended.  
  
"Can you put him on?"  
  
"Yeah" I hear the phone switch around as he hands it over.  
  
"Samantha" I hear Danny's voice, "how's you and the little tyke."  
  
"Moving quite a bit" I answer, absently running my hand along my abdomen. "Can I ask you something?"  
  
"You will anyways" he answers with a laugh. I take the phone with me down the hall, out of ear shot of the girls and Marie.  
  
"How's Jack doing with this case? Does he look like he got any sleep last night?"  
  
I can imagine Danny glancing over, trying to be subtle. "Ehhh" he lets out as an answer. "Always looks better when you're around."  
  
"Danny keep an eye on him will you?"  
  
"Don't I always?" He teases back.  
  
"Thanks" I answer before hanging up.  
  
I grab my clothes, manage to get changed before heading back out to the living room.  
  
"Hopefully I'll be out of your hair by tonight" I tell Marie, taking a seat beside her on the sofa.  
  
"Your no burden," she smiles politely, although I feel as though it's not the case. "What were your original plans for the weekend?" She questions. I know she had the girls because Jack and I were supposed to have some alone time together, I'm just not sure of all the details she knows or doesn't.  
  
"We were talking about going shopping. We still haven't set up the nursery yet," I answer.  
  
"Work?"  
  
"Excuse me?" I question slightly confused and taken-aback by the question.  
  
"I'm just figuring work probably got in the way. Jack mentioned you're part-time now."  
  
I smile politely, "yes I had to cut back given my condition. Besides I really didn't want to work full-time if all I was capable of doing was paperwork and background checks from a computer." I answer. "What fun is there in that?"  
  
She laughs softly, almost as though she's forcing herself to laugh. Immediately my mind screams 'fake' but I shrug it off.  
  
"So have you always lived here?" I question, trying to change the subject off Jack.  
  
To no avail, she brings him up again. "Since the girls were born. Jack thought it would be good because of the neighborhood and the Catholic school isn't too far down the street."  
  
"That's nice." I respond.  
  
"Listen the girls have outgrown their baby things. If you'd like I have some of their clothes and what not in my closet. If it's a girl you'll have more than you need for a lifetime."  
  
"That would be really great. You wouldn't mind?"  
  
"No." She smiles standing up and offering me her hand. "Hannah and Kate can't use it. Besides, why let it sit in a closet for the next few years if it can be put to good use?"  
  
"I know Jack would be grateful, as am I."  
  
"It's not a problem."  
  
I follow her into the bedroom, glancing at the bed and seeing a burned image of Jack and Marie etched in my mind. I can imagine the first few years of a marriage full of bliss and happiness before turning bitter and sour. I watch as Jack rolls out of bed after a fight, running his hand through his hair at having given up on trying to work things out. The image vanishes as fast as it comes and I glance at the bags of clothes.  
  
"The ones in the back were for when the girls were infants. You can take whatever you'd like. I know it's all in good condition. Jack and I" she pauses before continuing. "We saved all this stuff because we always considered having another child but realized we never had the time." She lets out a sigh. "I'm glad you can give that to him."  
  
I nod my head, not sure how to respond to such a comment. A minute or two passes between us as I sift through some contents in the bag.  
  
"You took Lamaze class, didn't you?" I question.  
  
"Yes" she smiles softly, "have you started yet?"  
  
"No" I answer. "We still need to find a place."  
  
"I think there's one around the corner from where you both live. I remember one of the mother's from the girls school commenting about it. Small but nice place. I'm sure I can get you the number."  
  
"That would be great."  
  
As the day stretches on, the girls finish their homework for the weekend and gather around the tv. I slip in a movie while Marie starts in on dinner.  
  
I head into the kitchen, offering my assistance even though I know I'm a horrible cook. I manage to set the table and work on a few things before I sit with the girls and wait for dinner to be ready.  
  
After dinner I head on over towards the couch, resting my eyes until I'm interrupted by my cell phone. "Hello?"  
  
"Sam it's me" I hear Jack's voice on the other end. His voice sounds like he's panting.  
  
"What's wrong?" I immediately jump to the worst possible scenario in my mind and head into the bedroom so the girl's can't hear the conversation. 


	67. Chapter 67

"What's wrong?" I immediately jump to the worst possible scenario in my mind and head into the bedroom so the girl's can't hear the conversation.  
  
*********  
  
"Just catching my breath" he answers. "I just ran down two flights of stairs."  
  
"Did you get him?"  
  
"Of course" he answers smugly. "Danny's finishing the paperwork and I'm on my way down to the car."  
  
"How far out are you?"  
  
"Half an hour tops."  
  
"I'll head outside and dismiss the agents then. See you in a little bit."  
  
"I'll make the call" Jack offers, "you rest up and be ready for me. Bye" he answers before hanging up.  
  
I shove my clothes into my overnight bag, grateful the case is complete and the worry is over.  
  
I hear the cars pulling away and Marie's footsteps heading into the bedroom. "They're leaving" she states questionably.  
  
"Yeah they closed the case and caught the guy."  
  
She nods her head with a sigh. "I don't even know what this all was about. I'm not sure I want to."  
  
"It's not my place to say" I tell her. "If Jack wants to tell you."  
  
"He won't" she dismisses the notion. "Why don't I help you get the things from the bedroom" she reminds me, heading towards her room and the open closet of bags.  
  
"Thanks" I respond.  
  
"Listen I know I haven't talked to Jack about it yet but." she pauses taking a seat on the bed. "I'd like for you and the girls to be over on Christmas. I know we could split the girls up for Christmas Eve and Christmas day, but it would be nice, at least for this year to be together."  
  
"I'll have to talk it over with Jack, but I'm sure that would be fine." I answer.  
  
I hear the doorbell and the girls excited voices of seeing their father.  
  
"Hey Sam" I hear Jack's voice and he nods towards Marie.  
  
"You're leaving already?" She lets out a sigh. "The girls are going to be disappointed again."  
  
"I talked to them and explained everything I could" he answers. "Sam and I have some things to work out this weekend. Besides I'll see them during the week. It's Christmas" he reminds her.  
  
"About that. When did you want to pick the girls up?" She questions. "I'd like to spend Christmas with them too." She points out rather bluntly.  
  
Jack stands beside me and I quietly whisper, "I was thinking of having Chloe come up for Christmas, I don't see why Marie can't come for the day also. The girls will be happy and." he nods his head in agreement.  
  
"You're invited to spend Christmas with us." Jack tells her. "You can have the girls Christmas Eve and as a surprise when you bring them over in the morning on Christmas, you're more then welcome to join us for dinner."  
  
"I don't want to be an imposition" I can see Jack's face and his mind thinking she is but I quell her fears.  
  
"We want you there. You're Hannah and Kate's mother" I remind her.  
  
"Thank you" she answers. She bends down, grabbing the bags and handing them to Jack. "These are the girl's baby clothes. Assuming you have yourselves a baby girl, you'll be set in that department."  
  
"Thanks Marie." Jack answers, taking the bags and I grab my overnight bag and head to the car. The girls follow us outside, giving us a hug and kiss goodbye before we leave.  
  
I let out a soft sigh, grateful to be in the quiet car beside Jack.  
  
"So how did the case pan out?"  
  
"I really don't want to talk about work" Jack lets out a sigh and I glance over, seeing his dark rimmed eyes.  
  
"Are you ok?" I question softly, moving my hand over his.  
  
"I will be" he whispers out, as I see the tremendous burden he's carrying from a simple glance in my direction.  
  
"Jack?" I question. "What happened?"  
  
"I don't want to talk about it." He repeats. "I'd prefer if you left it alone."  
  
"Fine" I answer, glancing out the window with a sigh and moving my hand back into my lap.  
  
We park in front and I grab my bag and make my way up the stairs. "Sam" I hear Jack's voice and I fail to turn around to acknowledge him. I let out a sigh, making my way inside and into the bedroom to unpack.  
  
"Don't be mad" I hear his words as he steps into the bedroom after me.  
  
"I'm too tired to be mad Jack. I'm exhausted and I can only imagine how you must feel right now."  
  
He nods, moving to take a seat on the bed. "Have you eaten dinner?" He questions before lying back.  
  
"Yeah, Marie cooked. What about you?"  
  
"I grabbed some fast food with Danny."  
  
I move to sit beside him and feel him tugging on my arm to lie down beside him. "How are you doing?" I question, moving my hand to his face and the lines and dark circles that are masking his expression.  
  
"Tired" he lets out a heavy breath.  
  
"Then sleep" I answer, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.  
  
"How are you doing with all this?" He questions.  
  
"I'm alright. I should probably give Chloe a call again. Make sure she's coming."  
  
Jack nods with closed eyes as I slip from the bed and shut the door on my way to the living room.  
  
I dial my sisters number and wait for her to pick up.  
  
"Hey Chloe."  
  
"Samantha?"  
  
"The one and only" I chime.  
  
"What's going on? I tried your house last night like a half dozen times."  
  
"Oh yeah there were some complications with the job, so I had to stay someplace out of harms way."  
  
"Everyone ok?"  
  
"Yeah" I smile. "Jack's sleeping right now. He's beat and I'm exhausted."  
  
"Hotel not comfortable?"  
  
"Actually I stayed with Marie, Jack's ex-wife."  
  
"You're joking?"  
  
"I kid you not."  
  
"Wow" Chloe answers.  
  
"I know. It was strange but" I pause, "I managed. Oddly enough we invited her over for Christmas day. Which means you have to join us too" I tell her.  
  
"Why's that?"  
  
"Oh come on you can ease all the tension."  
  
"Or stir it" she chimes with a wicked laugh.  
  
"You wouldn't," I warn her. "Remember Chloe there are two armed agents."  
  
"I know" she laughs, "don't get on your bad side. When do you want me there?"  
  
"When can you get off?" I question.  
  
"Christmas" she answers with a sigh. "I could stay the weekend though. Take you out shopping perhaps?"  
  
"That sounds good. You can help Jack and I go shopping for the nursery."  
  
"Awww that sounds sweet" she answers.  
  
"Chloe who told you about the baby?" I question with a sigh. "Did you talk to mom?"  
  
"Yeah but she didn't give me the news. Actually it was cousin Rachel. I have a feeling mom must have talked to her. Anyways Samantha I have some stuff to do before bed. I should let you go."  
  
"Love you" I whisper out before hanging up the phone.  
  
I head into the bedroom quietly and slip into a fresh pair of pajamas. I shut off the light and make my way into bed, beneath the covers. My eyes watch Jack's face, how peaceful he looks in sleep and how much I ache to touch him.  
  
I slide my hand to his face, softly touching his cheek before pressing a soft goodnight kiss to his lips.  
  
"Sam" I hear his heavy-ragid voice tinged with sleep.  
  
"Goodnight Jack" I whisper out, feeling his arm moving to hold me against him as I become comfortable in his arms and close my eyes for the night. 


	68. Chapter 68

"Sam" I hear his heavy-ragid voice tinged with sleep.  
  
"Goodnight Jack" I whisper out, feeling his arm moving to hold me against him as I become comfortable in his arms and close my eyes for the night.  
  
*******  
  
As the morning light shines in through the windows, I feel Jack's soft mouth pressing kisses along my abdomen and his hands trailing over my skin, as I lie on my side.  
  
"Morning" I chime, feeling refreshed and at ease. "How'd you sleep?" I question.  
  
"Pretty good." I feel a yawn escaping my mouth and Jack moves his head to rest beside mine, his eyes watching me. "Still waking up?" He teases.  
  
"Always" I nod in response. "I should get showered and dressed."  
  
"Why? You have somewhere you want to be?"  
  
"Not really" I answer. "I just thought it would be nice if I was clean."  
  
"I like you just the way you are" Jack moves his lips to mine as he rolls me onto my back. His breath sends a chill down my spine as he kisses his way along my neck.  
  
I feel the room growing hot and my body restless. "Jack" I whisper out, my eyes slipping shut as he works on the buttons of my shirt. His lips trail soft feathery kisses between my breasts. "Don't tease me," I warn him, feeling my body ache for more.  
  
"I'm not" he answers, working his way down my body as I feel myself falling helpless to his movements.  
  
"Jack" I groan out, my eyes slipping shut as he moves to shift off the bed. "What?" I whine out, not wanting him to be leaving me here and like this.  
  
He helps me into another position, making me more comfortable as I feel his warm skin from behind. His hands move down my abdomen as his lips do wonders on my neck. My head lolls back, exposing my skin and my body to him.  
  
"Please" I moan out, sounding incredibly needy but not giving a damn how I sound. It's what 'I want' right now that's causing me to be this way.  
  
Jack's hands and body do wonders as I feel us reaching new heights of pleasure.  
  
Minutes later I lie resting at his side, my heart pounding in my chest as I feel my body covered in sweat. My eyes lazily open with a sweet smile plastered to my face.  
  
Jack's breath teases my neck, causing me to roll around and glance around the room. "How about that shower?" I question.  
  
"In a little bit" Jack answers, his breathing slowly steadying since his heart has stopped racing.  
  
As Thursday arrives, Jack has helped with buying the girls gifts and I've already wrapped them. I hear the doorbell and Jack immediately jumps up to answer it. "You sit" Jack tells me, wanting me to relax since I've been running all over this morning trying to have the house look nice before company arrives.  
  
"I'm fine Jack" I call back, glancing to see Chloe stepping foot through the front door.  
  
"Samantha!" Her smile widens and Jack takes her coat, hanging it in the closet before she makes her way over to give me a hug. "You're huge," she says with a grin and a soft laugh.  
  
"It's nice to see you too" I chime.  
  
Jack stares at us, his mind racing but I'm not sure what he's thinking. "Jack this is my sister Chloe. Chloe this is Jack."  
  
"Nice to meet you" Jack offers his hand as he shakes his head, "the resemblance between the two of you is just, wow."  
  
"Don't you dare think of leaving me for her!" I quip, glancing at Chloe knowing she's the kind of girl that would do such a thing, although not usually to a family member.  
  
She smiles with a laugh, "it's nice to finally meet you as well" she answers. "So I heard your ex-wife is coming. That should be interesting."  
  
"Yes she's bringing the girls over, Kate and Hannah."  
  
"Oh" Chloe's eyes light up. "Samantha can I snag you for a minute?" Before I have time to answer she helps me to my feet and pulls me towards the back of the house.  
  
"What's going on?"  
  
"I didn't get the girl's anything, now I feel awful."  
  
"Don't" I tell her, giving her a reassuring hug. "We have plenty of presents for them. You can give one of ours to them."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Positive. Relax" I remind her taking her with me into the bedroom and searching through the closet for the gifts, since we didn't have time or space in the apartment to put up a Christmas tree. "Here" I hand her two small boxes. "There's a bracelet for Hannah and a necklace for Kate. You can give these to them."  
  
"I feel horrible."  
  
"Don't" I reassure her. "Jack isn't going to care. He'll be glad to see the girls and see how happy they are to receive a gift."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yes" I answer, "come on let's not leave Jack alone for too long."  
  
"Why not?" She questions.  
  
"Because he tends to get himself into trouble" I tease. 


	69. Chapter 69

"Yes" I answer, "come on let's not leave Jack alone for too long."  
  
"Why not?" She questions.  
  
"Because he tends to get himself into trouble" I tease.  
  
*************  
  
We make our way into the living room to see Jack watching television. "Hey sweetie" I bend down, planting a kiss on his lips before slipping next to him to sit down.  
  
"Everything ok?" Jack questions.  
  
"Yeah. She wanted to run out and get gifts for the girls. I offered for her to give Hannah and Kate the jewelry we bought them."  
  
"That's fine" he answers. "You can take a seat."  
  
"Yeah where's your bathroom?"  
  
"Down the hall on the left" I answer.  
  
"Thanks." She slips off and Jack slides his arm around me.  
  
"This is nice" he answers, "you and me together, having the day off, being able to relax." I lean into his warm body, resting my head on his shoulder.  
  
"Yeah it is."  
  
"What's on your mind?"  
  
"Nothing really" I answer. "Just tired from last night."  
  
"Sorry" he grimaces, "I know paperwork can be a killer."  
  
"Tell me about it," I eye him with a laugh.  
  
Once Chloe's done in the bathroom, I show her to the fairly empty nursery that houses a futon. "I hope this will work for you."  
  
"It's better then what I offer you at my place."  
  
"No kidding" I laugh. I hear the front door and the girl's voices. "Sounds like they're here."  
  
"Fun" Chloe teases with a smile, "now let the party get started!"  
  
We head into the living room to see the girl's shedding their coats and Marie carrying a gift in her arms. "This is for you" she tells me.  
  
"Thanks Marie. I'd like you to meet my sister, Chloe."  
  
They exchange greetings and shake hands. The girls come over to greet Chloe before heading onto the sofa to watch the movie Jack's put on.  
  
"Samantha" I hear Kate's voice and turn around to see what's going on.  
  
"Yeah Kate?"  
  
"I made this for you" she tells me, handing me a picture of Hannah, Kate, and myself playing Barbie's together.  
  
"Thank you," I tell her, giving her a hug and kiss and showing off the picture to everyone before putting it on the fridge.  
  
We head back into the living room and I see Chloe and Hannah sharing stories while Jack and Marie are at opposite sides of the room. I let out a soft laugh, mostly to myself as Kate takes my hand and ushers me towards Jack.  
  
Chloe eyes me with a wide smile. "I know what sex the baby is" I eye Hannah and she nods with a smile.  
  
"You told me you didn't want to know, but she didn't say I couldn't tell anyone else." Hannah points out.  
  
"Tell me!" Kate chimes in.  
  
"No you'll give it away" Hannah responds.  
  
"And Chloe won't?" Jack questions.  
  
"Oh no. I'm good at keeping a secret." Chloe grins moving over to sit beside me on the sofa. "I know what sex the baby is" she smiles with an ear-to-ear grin, happy with the information.  
  
"So does the doctor" I point out.  
  
"Yeah but now I know what kind of baby stuff to get you."  
  
"You're trusting the word of a child" Marie points out.  
  
"I'm not a child!" Hannah shouts, storming off to the bedroom, "and I know I'm right!" She slams the bedroom door.  
  
"I'll go check on her" I offer, slowly standing up and heading towards the bedroom.  
  
"Talk about uncomfortable silence" Chloe speaks up with a humorous laugh while I make my way down the hall. I roll my eyes at her humor and open the bedroom door slowly to the girl's room.  
  
"Hannah" I speak softly, seeing her sitting on the bed, her face red with tears.  
  
"It's not fair" she pouts, wiping at her eyes and staring out the window.  
  
"What isn't?" I question, taking a seat beside her.  
  
"Mom doesn't believe me. I hate it" she lets out a deep sigh. "It's just not fair."  
  
"I believe you" I remind her.  
  
I hear a soft knocking on the door and see Chloe sticking her head in, "can I come in?" She questions.  
  
Hannah nods 'yes' in response and Chloe makes her way into the girl's bedroom. She bends down on the floor to be Hannah's height, "I'm sorry if I upset you" Chloe tells her.  
  
"You didn't."  
  
"Are you sure? I don't want my niece to be mad at me."  
  
Hannah cracks a small grin. "I'm not" she answers.  
  
"Then why don't we head back into the other room to visit with everyone?" I suggest, eyeing Hannah.  
  
"Alright so long as mom doesn't give me a hard time anymore. She's been on my case about everything lately."  
  
"Mothers can do that" I let out a soft breath. "If you ever have anything you need to talk about Hannah, you know I'm here for you. So is Chloe" I tell her.  
  
"Yeah anything Hannah. You know I won't tell either of your mom's if you don't want."  
  
"No you'll just rub it in our faces" I answer with a laugh.  
  
"Yeah that I can't promise I won't do" Chloe answers with a smug smile.  
  
I shake my head, rolling my eyes with a laugh. "Come on girls" I state, taking Hannah's hand in mine and following Chloe out to the living room.  
  
I hear a knock on the door and Jack heads on over to open it. I see Martin, covered lightly in snow and shivering from the cold.  
  
"Come in" Jack offers.  
  
"What are you doing here?" I question, surprised to see him out of bed. After all, he was in the hospital less than a week ago.  
  
"I wanted to celebrate the holiday and Jack insisted that I drop by. Besides" Martin eyes me and then my sister, "I brought a gift and didn't feel right giving it to you both at the office." He states.  
  
"Hi I'm Chloe" she introduces herself, putting out her hand to meet Martin.  
  
"Martin Fitzgerald. I work with Jack and Samantha."  
  
"I gathered that" Chloe answers with a smile. "So what's this mysterious gift and where is it?"  
  
"In my car. I couldn't exactly carry it inside."  
  
"Why not?" She questions as Hannah tugs on my arm to follow her to the sofa.  
  
I hear Martin telling her about the shooting and I roll my eyes in amusement as I hear her gasp of surprise and anguish.  
  
"Samantha" I hear Chloe's voice as she heads on over to the sofa, leaning in close to me. "We're going to head out to his car. I'm going to help him bring in you gift."  
  
"Need a hand?" I hear Jack offer.  
  
"No I think I have this one covered" she tells me with a wink before slipping out the front door.  
  
"I think you just played matchmaker" Jack points out as the door shuts. I glance over at Marie reading a story to Kate as I relax into the sofa.  
  
"No worries from this end then?" I remind him.  
  
"None at all. Unless you're concerned about Chloe being a handful?"  
  
"No I think Martin's more of a handful then Chloe. Then again." I let out a soft laugh as I see Martin opening the door for her. She's carrying in a huge wrapped gift, fairly obvious by its size and proportion to the naked eye.  
  
"Thanks Martin," Jack immediately tells him, standing up to accept the gift from Chloe's arms.  
  
"You haven't even opened it yet" he counters.  
  
"Oh right, how could I forget?" He laughs, taking the package and moving it to the floor. "Honey?" He glances towards me as I eye him with a laugh.  
  
"You go ahead and open it," I tell him, "I'll do the next one that's a little less bulky."  
  
Jack tears at the paper like a child unwrapping his first present. "Thanks Martin" he peels the paper off to reveal an infant child-seat and inside is a few items that we most definitely will need; bottles, bibs, and pacifiers.  
  
"Thank you" I tell him, motioning for him to come towards me. "I'd get up but."  
  
"No don't" Martin states while making his way across the room and I lift my arms to give him a hug. "Thanks Martin. That was really nice of you. You have no idea how much we've been needing one of these."  
  
"I figured that once the baby came." he glances towards Chloe who's slipped her arm around his waist and is leaning on his shoulder, "you could use it."  
  
"It was a great gift." I tell him. "And we really appreciate it." Hannah tugs on my arm and gestures for me to come closer because she wants to whisper something into my ear.  
  
"I think your sister likes him."  
  
"Yeah I think your right." I answer.  
  
"Mind if I show Martin a tour of your place? Unless you've already seen it?" She glances deep into his eyes, that tells me she's up to no good.  
  
"Chloe" I warn her and she rolls her eyes with a laugh.  
  
"Don't worry Samantha" she waves it off and takes his hand, showing him down the hall.  
  
"Sam should we be." Jack's voice is interrupted by Marie's.  
  
"Don't be such a spoil sport Jack. She obviously likes him and he's."  
  
"Not saying no" I point out with a soft laugh.  
  
Kate looks at us questionably, not understanding what we're laughing about. Twenty minutes later I see Chloe and Martin reemerging from the back hall.  
  
"How was the tour?" I glance towards Martin who seems energetic and overly thrilled to be here.  
  
"Interesting" he answers glancing towards Chloe before they both take a seat on the floor.  
  
"I can bring in some chairs from the kitchen" Jack offers.  
  
"No we're good" Chloe states, leaning into his frame before he slips his arm around her. Jack and I both glance towards one another completely amused by the unfolding scenario.  
  
"Samantha" I hear Hannah's voice as she glances towards me and then Jack. "Do you know what you're going to name the baby yet?"  
  
"We haven't decided." I answer.  
  
"Well you need to figure it out soon. By the time you guys decide the baby will be able to pick his or her own name." Chloe points out.  
  
"And what do you suggest?" I glance down towards her on the floor.  
  
"Ignoring what Hannah has already told me, my instinct say it'll be a girl. I'd go with a traditional name, something that won't be overly used or incredibly popular." Chloe answers.  
  
"A girl?" Martin glances down at her as moves her head into his lap. I laugh softly, seeing the closed bottle of champagne and suddenly curious how things would be if they'd have been drinking. "What makes you think that?"  
  
"Jack's got two girls as it is. I learned sometime back in college it was the male who determines the sex of the baby." Chloe answers.  
  
"That's a myth Chloe. Just like positions and."  
  
"Hey you two we've got kids in the room!" Jack interrupts.  
  
"Sorry" Chloe immediately answers.  
  
"No you're not" I retort in laughter.  
  
"So you caught me. What are you going to do about it?" Chloe mocks as I shrug my shoulders and glance towards Jack.  
  
"I can't do anything until this baby's out of me. Now Jack on the other hand" I eye Chloe with a wicked grin, "he can take you down in two seconds."  
  
"Yeah right" she scoffs at the idea. "Martin could take Jack on any day."  
  
"I don't think that's such a good idea." Marie points out. "Wasn't Martin shot?"  
  
"When he's better" Chloe suggests.  
  
"Samantha" Hannah interrupts us, "I'm getting hungry."  
  
"Come with me" Jack tells her, taking her into the kitchen for a snack while he finishes preparing dinner. 


	70. Chapter 70

"Samantha" Hannah interrupts us, "I'm getting hungry."  
  
"Come with me" Jack tells her, taking her into the kitchen for a snack while he finishes preparing dinner.  
  
***********  
  
"So tell me again about you getting shot" Chloe's eyes light up as she says the words to Martin.  
  
"Oh come on the story's getting old. Samantha is she always this way?" Martin questions.  
  
"Annoying?" I tease. "Yeah all the time."  
  
"You don't see me that often. You can't vouch for when I'm not with you."  
  
"Oh but I know" I point out with a laugh.  
  
"So did she make you repeat the story of you being shot?" Martin questions.  
  
"You were shot?" Her eyes widen in surprise. "Why didn't you tell me?"  
  
"Thanks Martin." I let out a soft breath.  
  
"Sorry" he winces.  
  
She slips from his grip and moves to sit beside me on the sofa. "The baby was alright?" She questions.  
  
"It was before the baby" I tell her. "It was almost a year ago."  
  
"A year" Jack repeats, "yeah that sounds about right."  
  
"What happened?" She scoots closer, interested in the story.  
  
"I was shot with my own gun."  
  
"You shot yourself?" Her eyes widen in surprise.  
  
"No" I shake my head. "I was taken hostage along with several other people. Eventually he found my gun and it was a big mess" I state, leaving out the part about Jack saving my life.  
  
"That's all I get?" She questions.  
  
"Yeah I want to hear the rest" Marie points out.  
  
Jack makes his way back into the living room, "come on Samantha you leave out the best part of the story."  
  
"Then you finish it" I answer.  
  
"Fine" he takes a seat on the floor, since Chloe's still sitting beside me. "After Samantha was shot, it took me awhile to get our suspect to tell us what was going on. He wouldn't negotiate for her life because he knew she was a federal agent."  
  
"So?" Chloe hangs on to Jack's every word.  
  
"I went in and exchanged my life for hers. She was bleeding to death and I knew she was in no state to get matters under control. I had to keep others from getting hurt and Sam from dying."  
  
"So you took her place?" Chloe questions.  
  
"Yeah. I can honestly say walking into that bookstore was the most horrified I'd ever been. Not knowing how Sam was doing and then seeing her there, bleeding on the floor." his voice breaks off as he tries to keep his emotions at bay.  
  
Chloe senses the tension and immediately glances my way, "so where'd you get shot."  
  
"My leg" I point to where my scar is, even with my pants covering it.  
  
"You'll have to show me it some time." She smiles, "as will you" she tells Martin, eyeing him.  
  
I glance towards Martin, noticing him blush from Chloe's words and a smile creeping on his face.  
  
As the day progresses on, we finish eating dinner and begin opening the rest of the presents. The girls unwrap their gifts with wide smiles etched on their faces. Their excitement and laughter echoes through the house as we open our own presents.  
  
As day turns to night, Marie heads on out and Martin grabs his jacket ready to do the same.  
  
"It was great meeting you Chloe."  
  
"You don't want my number?" She teases, pulling her arms around him for a hug.  
  
"I don't even know where you live" he states the obvious.  
  
"Not too far from here." Chloe glances towards me, "you know we really should get together more often. That's why I moved out here." She reminds me.  
  
I pull her in for a hug, as best I can. "Don't tease Martin too much, he's already been heartbroken once." I whisper into her ear.  
  
She eyes me curious as to who and then her eyes shimmer with a smile. "You're kidding?"  
  
"No" I answer giving her a kiss on the cheek.  
  
"Promise me you'll call when you have the baby? I want to come visit you." Chloe reminds me. "In fact I'm rather disappointed you never called before you got married, I would have threw you one hell of a bachelorette party."  
  
"I bet" I answer.  
  
I see Martin pulling Chloe near him to whisper something into her ear. Her eyes light up and she waves to us as she slips out the door.  
  
"Chloe!" I call after her. "I thought you were staying here the weekend."  
  
"Change of plans" she grins. "I'll drop by sometime tomorrow." She snickers blowing me a kiss as Martin and her head out to his car.  
  
"You devil" I shake my head in disbelief as I shut the front door. I head into the bedroom to check on the girls who are sound asleep in bed. I quietly shut their door before heading into the living room to help Jack clean up.  
  
"You have a very interesting sister" Jack states the obvious.  
  
"Yeah tell me about it." I answer. "She's the only good thing I can remember about my childhood."  
  
"Awww" Jack envelopes me in his arms, pressing a kiss to my lips. "There has to be some other good memories?"  
  
"Yeah but they're few and far between."  
  
"We're not so different" he states softly, grabbing the torn wrapping paper and tossing it in the garbage.  
  
"I'm sorry about your mother" I tell him, taking his hand and leading him with me towards the bedroom as we shut off the hall lights.  
  
"It wasn't just that" he lets out a sigh, "there was so much that was wrong" he takes a seat on the edge of the bed, shutting his eyes.  
  
I move my lips to his, "you didn't get my gift yet" I tell him.  
  
"Oh?" His eyes look at me questionably with a smile forming.  
  
"Not that" I run my hands through his hair. "You're something else" I tease him.  
  
"I am?" He pulls me onto the bed. "Come on Samantha what guy wouldn't be begging for what I want?"  
  
"That's a real fine way to win over a woman's heart" I eye him with a laugh.  
  
"Did you learn that from Chloe?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"That look" he questions, gently lying me onto my back as he moves his face close to my own.  
  
"You're imagining things" I toy with him playfully.  
  
"I am?" He brushes his lips against my own, moving his way down to my neck as I let out a heavenly breath.  
  
"Jack" I moan out softly.  
  
"Shhh the girls are asleep" he reminds me. "So if this wasn't your gift?" He eyes me with a peculiar glance. "What'd you get me?"  
  
"What'd you get me?" I question.  
  
"Oh no I asked first."  
  
"Jack" I shake my head in amusement as he rolls onto his side watching me. "I can give you your gift now, but I'm not sure you'll be using it for awhile."  
  
He eyes me peculiarly, "what the hell did you buy me."  
  
"I remember you liked my collection of underwear" I point out, slipping out a bag from the drawer in the nightstand. "So I bought this."  
  
"Oh no" he shakes his head with wide fearful eyes. "I refuse to wear."  
  
"It's not for you silly."  
  
"So you bought yourself a Christmas present then?" He teases.  
  
"I don't know" I shrug, "I'm pretty sure me dressed in it would be my gift to you."  
  
"So put it on" he answers.  
  
"It won't look right now and besides it won't fit until after the baby's born. I'll have to probably lose some weight but once I do."  
  
"Awww you're teasing me" he groans out.  
  
"I did get you something else in the meantime though."  
  
"What?" His eyes perk at the thought of something for tonight.  
  
"I don't want you to look at it until I'm not here."  
  
"What?"  
  
"If you're alone in the office or home or something you can look at it. Just not with me here."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because I might regret giving it to you" I tell him, slipping out a computer disc from the bag.  
  
"Is it porn?" He questions, taking the disc from my hands.  
  
"In your dreams" I answer. "If you don't want it, I can take it back" I give him my open hand to retrieve the disc.  
  
"No that's ok" he responds. "I'm sure I'll love whatever it is." He gives me a soft kiss on the lips as his hand teases through my hair. "I got you something special too."  
  
"Yeah?" I eye him curious.  
  
"It's good for the next year, so I figured you'd probably want and need to use it after the baby's born." He slips into the closet, pulling out a gift box, the size of a long envelope.  
  
I open it up, glancing down at the certificate to a health spa. "Thanks" I answer, giving him a hug.  
  
"I know you probably don't think much of it now, but when the little tyke is born you'll be dying to get away and need some time to relax, so I thought this might do the trick."  
  
"It's great" I answer, pulling him in for a hug and another sweet kiss.  
  
I lie back on the bed, closing my eyes for a brief moment before feeling Jack beside me. "Can I ask you something?"  
  
"Sure" he answers, my eyes open to meet his.  
  
"Last week, when I was over at Marie's" I pause hearing him let out a soft breath, "what happened on the case?"  
  
"We made an arrest, caught the guy and threw his sorry ass in jail."  
  
"Jack" I slide my hand to the back of his neck, watching as his eyes slip closed for a second before meeting mine again. My hand teases through his hair, relaxing him and coaxing him into answering me. "You've been quiet all week about work and kept me off the case. I know something's bothering you."  
  
He leans his head into my neck, breathing in the feel of skin before answering. "Danny and I went in to investigate" he rolls onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. I move my hand into his hair, touching his face softly as he recalls the events of the past week.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"He was holding a little girl hostage. She couldn't have been any older then Hannah" he whispers out, shutting his eyes. With closed eyes, he continues his story while tears slip down his face. "She had a bomb attached to her chest and he threatened to blow everyone up. The timer was counting down and if we didn't let him go he'd kill us all."  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"We let him go out the back but made him agree to hand over the device so he couldn't blow us up from downstairs."  
  
"Did he?"  
  
"Yeah" he breathes out, "but we had less then sixty seconds to shut off the bomb."  
  
"Where was the bomb squad?" I question.  
  
"They weren't called in. We had no idea what he was capable of and we didn't have enough time to bring them in. We were literally on the clock."  
  
"So what did you do?"  
  
"We called Van Doren and had her patch us in with an expert. He walked us through it. Although it certainly wasn't easy."  
  
"Why's that?"  
  
"You know in the movies how bombs have different colored wires?"  
  
"Yeah" I answer eyeing him intently. He glances towards me, pain evident in his eyes.  
  
"They were all the same color and size. We had to literally guess which one it was."  
  
"I'm figuring you guessed right?"  
  
"Yeah but barely. After the first couple tries, we were down to three seconds and two wires."  
  
"But it came out ok?" I eye him.  
  
"Yeah" he lets out a soft tired sigh. "Almost didn't."  
  
"But it did" I reaffirm.  
  
"Yeah but that image Sam" he lets out a breath, "the girl" he shakes his head, "it frightened me. I've never felt that way about a case in my life."  
  
"Sure you have. Andy Deaver is a prime example and then what about Doris." he silences me with a simple look. "Jack" I whisper out, "you're taking this case personal." I move my hand to his arm, softly circling the skin.  
  
"I know and I shouldn't" he answers with a sigh. "We caught the guy and everything turned out alright but I still worry about the girls."  
  
"So do I" I remind him. "You've been lucky they haven't sensed your anxiety."  
  
"I know" he nods with a sigh. He rolls his body into mine, trying to keep warm. "You know Sam, I think we don't have to worry about Martin anymore" he reminds me.  
  
"Chloe certainly knows how to take care of things" I answer.  
  
"I just hope she doesn't break his heart."  
  
"Why would she break his heart?" I defend my sister.  
  
"Oh come on, isn't that a Spade trademark?"  
  
"Hold on just a second," I pull back slightly to eye him. "Who broke who's heart back when we were working together?"  
  
"That doesn't count."  
  
"And why not?" I question.  
  
"I was married."  
  
"Oh yeah like that makes any difference what so ever." I answer.  
  
"I don't know. I bet if we asked Marie she'd say you broke her heart" Jack teases.  
  
"She would, would she?" I question. "Who was the one sleeping with his sub- ordinate and staying late all the time?" I tease.  
  
"I really had to work" he counters.  
  
"Sure you did" I roll my eyes. "Just like you had to come over after the electricity went off that night. You couldn't find your way home" I tease.  
  
"You invited me over" he counters.  
  
"To do work?" I raise my eyes at him.  
  
"So you planned for me to find my way into your bed?"  
  
I shake off the notion, "that's not true."  
  
"Are you sure? It sounds that way to me?" He teases.  
  
"That's how you want it to sound" I point out, moving my lips to his. Jack's hands roam along my back, pulling me closer against him. "It's getting late" I point out.  
  
"We're in bed" he reminds me, his mouth teasing mine before finding it's way to my neck.  
  
"We'll be up early" I point out, remembering the girls will likely wake us when they get up.  
  
"I hope not" he responds, his body doing wonders to mine as we fall into a passionate rhythm before falling fast asleep. 


	71. Chapter 71

"We're in bed" he reminds me, his mouth teasing mine before finding it's way to my neck.  
  
"We'll be up early" I point out, remembering the girls will likely wake us when they get up.  
  
"I hope not" he responds, his body doing wonders to mine as we fall into a passionate rhythm before falling fast asleep.  
  
******  
  
I feel soft fingers rubbing along my back, "Samantha" I hear Chloe's voice in my ear as my eyes open.  
  
"Hey what are you doing back?" I question, surprised to see her here.  
  
"I had to see my baby sister" she tells me, running her hand along my face and moving the hair away from my eyes.  
  
"Don't tell me he's not interested."  
  
"Oh no" Chloe's smile widens, "he's interested."  
  
"Then why aren't you making him breakfast in bed?" I tease.  
  
"Hmmm I suppose I could have done that."  
  
"What happened?" I question, rolling around to give her room to sit down.  
  
"It's nothing."  
  
"It's never nothing" I answer. "Explain."  
  
"I'm not dishing you my sex life."  
  
"Oh come on Chloe. Like you haven't told me every dirty detail before?" I remind her.  
  
"This is different" she states seriously.  
  
"Why's that?"  
  
"I think I may be falling in love with him."  
  
"After one day?" I question. "The sex was that good?"  
  
"No" she laughs, "I mean no we haven't had sex yet. We stayed up late talking."  
  
"No" my eyes widen with a laugh, not believing Chloe would do only that.  
  
"He couldn't."  
  
"That's too bad" I answer.  
  
"Well he wanted to, it was just you know Samantha he's been shot recently so he has to take things easy."  
  
"Oh" I nod my head. "I thought.nevermind." I laugh softly.  
  
"My baby sister has a dirtier mind then me."  
  
"Not possible" I retort.  
  
"So anyways we stayed up all night talking and it was this most amazing night. I can't explain it" Chloe tells me with a wide smile.  
  
"You're going to see Martin again?" I question.  
  
"Of course. That is if you don't mind. I know it's probably weird since he had a crush on you and all but."  
  
"I'm happy you like him. Date him, have sex with him, by all means, keep him out of my hair" I tease.  
  
"You never had sex with him, right Samantha?"  
  
"No" I shake my head with a laugh. "Why?"  
  
"Ok good because then it would have been weird." She answers, moving to lay down beside me.  
  
"So why aren't you over there now?" I question.  
  
"He needed his sleep and I was keeping him awake" she answers.  
  
"Is Jack keeping the girls company in the living room?" I question.  
  
"Yeah they're watching cartoons. I'm supposed to be in bed sleeping" she tells me "but I just couldn't resist filling you in."  
  
"I'm glad you did" I tell her. "I can't believe you're not over there now. I figured you'd be hanging all over him the whole weekend."  
  
"And ditch my baby sis?" She glances towards me. "Would I do that?"  
  
"You have before."  
  
"I know I'm sorry" she runs her hand through my hair. "That was when we were younger and in college together. I haven't in a really long time."  
  
"We haven't seen each other in a long time" I remind her.  
  
"Yeah I know, I'm sorry" Chloe answers. "I always want to call I just."  
  
"Never know what to say?"  
  
"Yeah" she answers softly. "I feel like I need a reason to call and I never have one. But you had a reason" she eyes my stomach and then takes my hand fingering the wedding band. You have no excuses."  
  
"Oh come on" I respond. "After what dad did, do you think I really wanted to see anyone in our family?"  
  
"Point taken" she closes her eyes for a moment before looking into mine. "You know he didn't mean to hurt you, he's just not all there."  
  
"Yeah" I nod.  
  
"Doesn't make it right though" Chloe states with a yawn. "I ought to get some sleep and into my own bed before Jack comes in and."  
  
"Sam" I hear the door open and glance up to see him entering the bedroom. I can't help but laugh at his timing. "I thought you were going into your own bed?" He glances at Chloe.  
  
"I just had to fill her in on Martin" she gives me a quick kiss on the cheek and a hug. "I'll let you get your rest" she slips out of bed and walks past Jack with a smile before heading into the guestroom.  
  
"Seems your sister got lucky last night, as did Martin."  
  
"They stayed up and talked all night" I tell him.  
  
"That's what she told you?" He laughs softly shaking his head not believing it.  
  
"Martin was shot a week ago" I remind him. "What else could they do?"  
  
"He was shot in the chest Sam not the."  
  
"Yeah well they didn't."  
  
"Too bad. Are they going to?" He probes.  
  
"Go ask Martin" I answer with a laugh. "Chloe sure as hell wants him. I just hope he won't break her heart."  
  
"He won't." Jack states, "I see the way he looks at her."  
  
"Yeah I hope you're right."  
  
"I am" he answers adamantly. "As long as your awake, how about we join the girls and fix up some breakfast?"  
  
"Sounds good" Jack helps me out of bed and into the kitchen. I work on setting the table while he does the cooking. 


	72. Chapter 72

"Sounds good" Jack helps me out of bed and into the kitchen. I work on setting the table while he does the cooking.  
  
********  
  
We finish eating breakfast and I head into the shower to get ready for a day outside of the house.  
  
"Sam?" I hear Jack's voice from behind the shower curtain. The water pounds down my back and a loud clank of clothes falling to the floor and the curtain being pulled back to reveal Jack amuses me. "Mind if I join you?" He questions.  
  
"If you think we can both fit in here still" I laugh softly, feeling him playfully nip my shoulder. I swat him away and he grabs my wrists, pinning them up against the shower wall. "Cold" I gasp out, shivering from the contact as he fingers move down my arms and along my sides.  
  
"Any better?" He whispers into my ear, his breath sending a chill down my skin as his mouth teases my neck.  
  
"A little" I answer, finally pulling away to grab the soap.  
  
"Awww" he whines, his face falling to the floor as I run sudsy fingers along my own arms and down my breasts.  
  
"You going to cry about it or help me?" I tease.  
  
His hands take the soap from me and in seconds his hands are feeling down my body, cleaning my skin in the process. "I suppose watching you wasn't so bad" he muses, "so long as you let me join in."  
  
"Jack" my eyes widen with a laugh, "you're something else, you know that?"  
  
"That's what I've heard."  
  
We finish in the shower and quickly dry off. I take a seat on the edge of the bed, with a towel wrapped around my body. Jack stands in front of me, a towel tied to his waist as he moves his hand to my neck, gently moving my long hair from my shoulders.  
  
He presses a kiss to my neck and then my shoulder. "Jack" I whine out, "we'll never leave if you keep this up."  
  
"I know" he answers with a smile.  
  
"Samantha" I hear Chloe's voice and her knocking against the door.  
  
"We're busy go away," Jack shouts.  
  
"Can't you get off my sister for two minutes?" I hear Chloe's voice. "I need to tell her something."  
  
Jack moves away and into the bathroom while I open the door, holding the towel tightly against me. "What?" I question.  
  
"Oh nothing I just wanted you two to hurry up. You'd be at it all day if I didn't break you two apart. Besides there's some shopping we planned on doing. I hope you're not going to wear that out?" Chloe eyes the towel.  
  
"I was trying to get dressed when you interrupted" I point out.  
  
"With Jack on top of you?"  
  
"He was not."  
  
"I heard the noises."  
  
"Maybe you should get your hearing checked" I counter, "or better yet not eaves drop."  
  
"Sorry" she shrugs, not meaning a word of it. Jack slips out from the bathroom, fully dressed.  
  
"Do you mind? I would like to get some clothes on." I point out.  
  
"Be my guest. By no means am I stopping you."  
  
"Actually" Jack interrupts her, "she was trying to do that when you."  
  
"Ugh" she rolls her eyes and storms out of the room.  
  
"She has your temper" Jack laughs with amusement.  
  
I eye him with a steady gaze before grabbing my clothes and getting dressed in the bathroom.  
  
After a day out with the girls and Jack, we come back bearing accessories and baby things for the nursery. Chloe has offered to paint the nursery but refuses to tell me what she's going to put on the walls. Hannah and Kate have offered to help with setting up the accessories to baby proof the apartment.  
  
I open the empty drawers in the nursery, placing some of the baby clothes Marie gave us as well as a few items we chose to buy that are yellow so we won't have to worry about having things for the wrong sex.  
  
"You know" Chloe glances towards Hannah, "when you see your OBGYN maybe you should bring Hannah along. She could find out whether she's right or not about the sex of the baby."  
  
"Don't you want to wait?" I glance towards Hannah.  
  
"It doesn't matter. I already know what you're having, and you don't have to worry it'll be a healthy baby." She squeezes my hand affectionately.  
  
"Awww thanks Hannah" I give her a hug and take a seat on the futon.  
  
"Tell me what the baby is" Kate exclaims, running over to sit with us.  
  
"It's a.."  
  
"Shhh" I eye Hannah, "Jack and I don't want to know."  
  
"I think Daddy wants to know if it's a boy. If it's a girl I think you should wait then to tell him" Kate responds.  
  
"I'm not giving anything away" she answers. "You'll find out in two months. Do you think you all can wait that long?"  
  
"Thank you" I eye her with a smile.  
  
Hannah nods her head, "just promise me you won't drive me insane picking baby names. I'd hate to hear you both excited over a name you couldn't use."  
  
"Pick a neutral name" Chloe suggests.  
  
I glance towards Jack. "No way is my son being named something a girl could be named."  
  
"You're such a party pooper dad" Hannah tells him. She moves on over towards him since he's on the floor putting the playpen together. She slings her arms around his neck for a hug. "I still love you though."  
  
As Sunday rounds the corner, I cling on tight to Chloe, giving her a strong hug goodbye and promising to see her more often. She sets up a date with Martin and tells me she'll call with all the dirty details.  
  
As evening progresses onward, we drop the girls off at Marie's and wave goodbye as we head on our way home.  
  
We slip into bed, with Jack behind me, and his hands holding my body close. "I hope you had a decent Christmas" he whispers into my ear.  
  
"Honestly" I glance back, rolling around in his embrace and planting his lips with a soft kiss, "it was the best one yet."  
  
"Really?"  
  
I nod my head with a smile.  
  
"Me too" he muses, planting soft kisses along my cheeks, lips and nose.  
  
"You know what though?" I whisper out.  
  
"Hmmm?"  
  
"Hannah had another nightmare about my parents kidnapping the baby."  
  
I feel Jack's hands on my back, trying to soothe me. "I'm sure it's nothing. She's probably worried about you and with everything that's already happened. Besides Sam, your father's in jail. He can't and won't be back in your life and we trust your sister, right?"  
  
"Yes" I answer, "it's not her I'm worried about."  
  
"Who then?" He questions.  
  
"My brother."  
  
Jack eyes me with a sigh as I roll around and shut off the light so the darkness encompasses the room.  
  
"Talk to me Sam."  
  
"It's late" I counter, letting out a sigh as I shut my eyes hoping Jack will forget about the mention of my older brother.  
  
"You always forget to leave stuff out" he breathes out, trying to push me into talking.  
  
"Goodnight" I answer, hoping Jack will leave it well enough alone so I can get some rest. 


	73. Chapter 73

"You always forget to leave stuff out" he breathes out, trying to push me into talking.  
  
"Goodnight" I answer, hoping Jack will leave it well enough alone so I can get some rest.  
  
*******  
  
As day breaks, I feel Jack shift out of the bed and heavy footsteps entering the shower. I glance at the clock, dreading having to go into work on a Monday morning.  
  
I slowly sit up, glancing towards the clock and then making my way into the kitchen for breakfast. I look up, seeing Jack enter the kitchen as I sit down at the table, getting myself something to eat.  
  
He doesn't say a word, he just looks at me with a loud breath and then glances away. I continue eating in silence, waiting for him to say what's bothering him. I have a sneaking suspicion it has to do with my family but there's nothing I can do about it. I can't hide from everyone.  
  
I clear the dishes and head towards the bathroom for a shower. I glance back towards Jack, "you want to talk about it?" I question.  
  
He eyes me with a look of discontent but doesn't say a word. He glances down at the newspaper, reading where he left off.  
  
I slip into the warm shower, washing my hair and skin before heading into the bedroom to get changed.  
  
I hear the door open and notice him moving over towards the bed to take a seat. "I've been thinking" he lets out a breath he's been holding and I realize whatever's on his mind is important. "Maybe it'd be a good idea for us to transfer divisions to someplace entirely new. Maybe Chicago or D.C.? You could still work the Missing Persons Unit and I'm sure I can find an opening for myself someplace too."  
  
"Jack."  
  
"Here me out Sam."  
  
I shake my head no. "We're not moving."  
  
"I think it would be good." He counters.  
  
"What about your girls?" I remind him.  
  
"If we moved to D.C. it wouldn't be that far. I could see them every other weekend."  
  
"Why?" I counter.  
  
"I can't stand the thought of your family coming after our baby."  
  
"No one is going to come after the baby. I shouldn't have told you" I whisper out, buttoning my shirt and heading into the bathroom to fix my hair and makeup.  
  
"Samantha it's not about that."  
  
"That tell me what this is about." I eye him sternly.  
  
"You couldn't have told me about your brother?" He counters.  
  
"What's there to tell?"  
  
"Maybe that he was a felon and he's been released on parole."  
  
"Jack" I let out a sigh. "I won't lie to you" I tell him, "he's not a nice guy but we haven't spoken in years. There's no reason for him to show up into my life now."  
  
"You didn't put him away?"  
  
"No" I answer.  
  
"But you testified against him."  
  
"That wasn't my intent. How was I supposed to know what would be asked. Besides how do you know all this?"  
  
"I did some digging while you were in the shower. It appears you tell Kellar more then me."  
  
"Jack stop it."  
  
"Stop what?" His voice grows angry.  
  
"Stop being jealous. There's nothing going on between us."  
  
"I'm not jealous I'm furious Sam. You had no right to lie to me."  
  
"You never asked me about my family. You were always too concerned about you own." I grab my keys to the apartment and slip on my jacket, making my way down the stairs.  
  
"Samantha" I hear him calling after me, as I hail a cab and slip inside heading for work before Jack can catch up with me.  
  
"It was a mistake" I say to myself aloud as I enter the federal building and see Martin looking over paperwork.  
  
"What was?"  
  
"This marriage" I let out a sigh. His eyes rise in curiosity. "Don't ask," I warn him, prepared to take off his head along with Jacks.  
  
I hear Jack's heavy footsteps as he enters the office, "Samantha I want to see you in my office now." His voice is heavy. I glance back towards him, rolling my eyes as I see his body steaming with anger.  
  
"Whatever it is, I'm sure you can work it out" Martin states, "don't make it look like your having a lovers quarrel Samantha. It'll only bring back the OPR" he reminds me.  
  
"Thanks" I answer none to lightly and with a heavy breath make my way into Jack's office. 


	74. Chapter 74

"Whatever it is, I'm sure you can work it out" Martin states, "don't make it look like your having a lovers quarrel Samantha. It'll only bring back the OPR" he reminds me.  
  
"Thanks" I answer none to lightly and with a heavy breath make my way into Jack's office.  
  
*********  
  
I slowly make my way into Jack's office, noticing him fillingout paperwork. He glances up towards me and then back down at his work.  
  
"You should have told me" Jack states bluntly, signing his name to the form and gathering another one to work on.  
  
"What could you have done Jack? What would you have suggested I do? We can't move every time something comes up. Our job puts us at risk and even if we quit, there's always dangers with having worked for the FBI" I remind him.  
  
"You could have mentioned your brother was in prison" he eyes me.  
  
"Why should it have mattered?"  
  
"We let your mother and father into our lives and you've seen where it got us. I'm just saying maybe we should be more careful. How do we know your mother won't lead him to our home?"  
  
"Why would he want to hurt us or our child?"  
  
"Because he's a criminal Samantha!" Jack's voice is loud and my eyes glance towards the open door. I can only imagine what everyone else must be hearing and I feel my cheeks growing red with anger.  
  
"Do you mind?" I eye him, standing up and slamming the door. "We're at work" I remind him. "If you can't handle being professional then maybe I should change positions with the Bureau."  
  
"Is that what this is about? Not wanting to work for me?" He stands up to meet my level. "Then fine, go work for some other division. See if anyone treats you half as good as I have."  
  
"You know Jack, you can be such an asshole sometimes." I tell him, heading for the door. I step outside, feeling tears threatening as I take in a breath, trying to steady myself. I let out a shaky breath, heading for the bathroom to fix myself up.  
  
"Samantha?" I hear Martin's voice as I stare in the mirror at my reflection. I turn on the faucet, wiping and trying to keep the tears from falling.  
  
"Go away," I whisper out, feeling my voice shaky and not at all FBI like.  
  
He opens the door, making his way inside with tissues in hand. "Here" he offers, handing me the soft material as I wipe my eyes and try to calm my breathing.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"What happened?" Martin questions, his hand gently resting on my shoulder. He turns me to look at him as I fall into his embrace.  
  
"He's just being Jack" I let out a sigh. "How's things with Chloe?" I try and steer the conversation away and clear my own head.  
  
"She's nice" he answers, a smile forming on the corners of his lips.  
  
"That's all?" I counter.  
  
"You saw the way I was acting at your home."  
  
"Yeah I did" I nod with a laugh, "she seemed pretty happy around you" I comment. "So how did the night go?"  
  
"Good" he laughs shaking his head. "We didn't.if that's what you're thinking though."  
  
"I know Chloe told me."  
  
"What else did she tell you?" Martin questions aloud.  
  
"She likes you" I answer, "but I figured that out for myself. Besides if you want to know something I'm sure if you ask her, she'll tell you."  
  
He eyes me, "you ready to head back out?"  
  
"Yeah" I answer with a sigh. "Thanks" I remind him, watching as he opens the door for me. I step out, to see Jack standing outside the bathroom door waiting for me. Jack eyes me and then Martin.  
  
"You going to be ok?" Martin eyes me.  
  
"Yeah" I nod as Jack's eyes watch mine.  
  
"Alright I'll meet you two when you're done" Martin offers as he slips down the hall.  
  
"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Jack questions.  
  
"Depends" I respond sharply, "if you plan on giving me the transfer papers then just do it. Don't sugar coat it," I warn him.  
  
"I'm not transferring you" he answers calmly, "I was considering giving you the day off. You can come in later on in the week once we work through this" he gestures between us.  
  
"You don't think we can work together under the circumstances?" I question. "It isn't like I'm doing anything with you. I'm assigned desk duty in case you've forgotten."  
  
"No I haven't" he eyes me and then my stomach. "Listen I'm sorry I just wish you would have told me sooner. When you keep things from me I worry that you don't trust me, that's all" his eyes bore into mine.  
  
"I trust you" I counter.  
  
"They why didn't you tell me?"  
  
"I.I don't know" I stumble with the answer.  
  
"I don't buy it" he calls my bluff. "Why didn't you tell me?" He repeats the question, his gaze burning into mine.  
  
"Because my problems don't concern you" I answer. "I know you're trying to help Jack but you don't know all the details. You're reading information from a report and hearing things from Kellar. You're not getting the whole story."  
  
"Then what pieces am I missing?"  
  
"The fact that maybe he's innocent!"  
  
"Not according to the law and a jury of."  
  
"Jack just stop it" I interrupt him.  
  
"Go on."  
  
"Now I don't want to" I answer. "Do you mind? I have paperwork to do" I point out, eyeing the clock and then Jack. He lets out a sigh and moves to step out of the way.  
  
I make my way down the hall and towards my desk to start in on this morning's casefile. As the day progresses on I finish writing the report that's been sitting on my desk and work on a series of background checks.  
  
I eye the clock, seeing as how it's already dark out and no one from our team has yet to come back yet. I let out a sigh, wondering if they're submerged in the case or went home without stopping back at the office.  
  
I close my eyes for a moment, hearing the silence of the world and I let out a few soft breaths.  
  
I feel warm arms move to my shoulders and I glance back to see Jack standing over me. "You ready to go home for the night?"  
  
"Yeah" I whisper out, turning my chair away from the desk and feeling Jack's hand move to mine to help me stand.  
  
"Listen I'm sorry about earlier" he tells me, "I shouldn't have."  
  
"Don't" I answer shaking my head. "If I would have told you this never would have happened."  
  
He's silent, thinking over my words as we make our way to his car. I take a seat in the passenger side, buckling myself in and closing my eyes as Jack starts the car.  
  
"You doing ok?" He questions, moving his hand over mine.  
  
"Yeah" I nod, "long day" I whisper out. Feeling the car move out of the parking space and on our way home.  
  
I glance out the window, seeing the snow falling onto the grass and sticking along the pavement. "Be careful," I warn him, feeling my stomach knot as my hand slips over my abdomen.  
  
Within seconds I hear the wheels screech and my eyes glance out the window to see our car spinning around. "Shit" Jack gasps out, as I feel the impact of another car sliding into us. I groan out in pain and hear Jack's voice, "Sam" he whispers out, before a final car pounds into ours, sending me into sudden darkness.  
  
My eyes open, seeing a bright light as I squint away. The paramedic slides the small light into his pocket. "She's regaining consciousness" I hear a paramedic stating and feel Jack's hand gripping mine. "How far along are you?"  
  
"What?" I manage to mumble out, confused as to what's going on and where I am.  
  
"The baby" he repeats. "How long until you're due?"  
  
"I'm seven months" I answer, as I feel contractions building and I groan out from the pain.  
  
"Shhh" he tries to reassure me. "We're doing everything we can. Right now we need you to focus. We have to get you out of here." He tells me.  
  
"What about my husband" I question.  
  
I feel Jack's fingers slipping from mine but I can't seem to move my neck to see him.  
  
"Jack?" I whisper out.  
  
"We need you to look straight ahead so we can get you out of there, ok? We have your husband out of the car" he reassures me, "and they're taking him by ambulance. We're going to fly you there, as soon as we can get you out."  
  
"He's ok?" I question.  
  
"He will be" the paramedic reassures me. "I need you to stay with me now, ok?"  
  
I feel my breathing grow shallow as my heart pounds in my chest. Sweat beads down my forehead, even in the icy-cold air. I feel my world swirling in and out of oblivion before the cold swallows me into the night.  
  
I feel a warm hand holding mine close and my eyes slowly open, as I feel a strong pain overwhelming me.  
  
I groan out, feeling sweat trickle down my head as the doctors and nurses prop me upright. "We need you to start pushing now Samantha" the doctor tells me.  
  
"Ughhhhh" I groan out, feeling as though I have no control over the situation. "Where's Jack?" I manage to moan out between breaths.  
  
"He's in another room recovering. He'll be fine. We need you to focus now. We need another strong push from you in a minute Samantha. At the count of three."  
  
"But it's too soon" I answer, feeling hot and sweaty and completely worn. I feel another contraction slowly overtaking my body.  
  
"Push" the doctor tells me, and I do just that.  
  
I hear no sound coming from the baby and immediately I feel flooded with concern.  
  
"What's happening?" I question, feeling blood or something wet soak through the linen. "Doctor?" I question in concern as I feel my vision growing dark. 


	75. Chapter 75

"What's happening?" I question, feeling blood or something wet soak through the linen. "Doctor?" I question in concern as I feel my vision growing dark.  
  
*********  
  
My eyes finally open seeing Jack watching over me with tears in his eyes.  
  
"Oh Sam" he whispers out, bending down to press a kiss to my forehead as his hand never leaves mine.  
  
"You're ok?" I question with relief in my voice.  
  
"Yes" he nods, "I have a mild concussion but I'm fine." He squeezes my hand, moving it to his lips for a brief kiss.  
  
"The baby?" I gasp out, feeling tears slip from my eyes.  
  
"You were in labor when they got you here" Jack tells me. "I'm sorry I missed it."  
  
"Oh God Jack" I whisper out, "I was only seven months along" I feel tears slipping down my cheeks. "I remember delivering but.I didn't hear the baby make a sound, oh god" I gasp out.  
  
"Shhhh" he reassures me, "we have a little baby girl but she's premature so." his voice cracks as I see the heavy burden he's carrying on his shoulders.  
  
"She's ok though?" I whisper out.  
  
"For now" he nods, pressing a kiss to my lips.  
  
I feel tears pouring their way from my heart. I feel broken inside and torn apart in two. As happy as I am that everyone's ok, right now I realize we very well could lose our child.  
  
"It's a girl?" I repeat aloud, feeling tears slip down my cheeks as Jack nods his head.  
  
"We have to figure out a name for her" he tells me.  
  
"Can I see her?" I question.  
  
I see the doctor coming in, "hi there Samantha it's good to see you're awake. How are you feeling?"  
  
"Is my baby girl ok?" I question.  
  
"She's being cared for by our top physicians" the doctor answers. "I don't want you on your feet for the next 24 hours but I'm sure one of the nurse's will take you down to see your daughter if you'd like. We also want to keep you here for observation for the next few days."  
  
"Will she be ok?" Jack questions.  
  
"Samantha you have a few fractured ribs but for the most part you're alright. There was some mild bleeding when you delivered the baby, so you'll definitely want to wait the six-week period before sex to ensure everything heals properly. Truth is your baby took the force of the airbag, which has caused some concerns. Everything at this point looks ok but she's still extremely young and not fully developed."  
  
"What does that mean?" I whisper out.  
  
"She has all her fingers and toes" the doctor reassures me, "but she's using the ventilator to breathe right now. Her lungs aren't fully developed and her immune system is weak. When you want to see her, you'll need to wash up to make sure the germs are kept to a minimum. The doctor upstairs will explain everything to you. My biggest concern is that you take it easy Samantha" the doctor eyes me seriously. "We're going to keep you here for a minimum of 48 hours. You had some bleeding that we want to keep an eye on."  
  
"Internal?" Jack questions.  
  
"During the delivery there were some complications" the doctor explains. "Everything appears to be fine at the moment, but we want to make sure." She tells us.  
  
The doctor leaves the room and I feel Jack's hand in mine. "Have you seen our baby girl yet?" I question.  
  
"For a few minutes" he answers. "I saw them transfer her upstairs." Jack moves his hand into my hair, trying to comfort me. "She's tiny Sam" he whispers out, "two and a half pounds."  
  
"Jack" I feel more tears brimming to the surface and his lips move to gently kiss them away. "I was so worried about you" I tell him.  
  
"I know" he nods, "we're ok though" he reminds me.  
  
"Easy for you to say" I whisper out. "It hurts a little when I breathe."  
  
"Should I call the doctor in?" Jack questions, grabbing for the button to push.  
  
"No" I shake my head. "I'll be fine it's just not very comfortable."  
  
"Maybe they can give you something" he offers, pushing the button and waiting for the nurse to enter the room.  
  
"Yes?" The nurse enters the room, eyeing me intently.  
  
"She's having difficulty breathing." Jack tells the nurse.  
  
"It's not that" I answer, "it just hurts" I tell her.  
  
"It's because you have several fractured ribs. Try not to take too many deep breaths. In the meantime I can give you another dose of."  
  
"No" I shake my head. "I want to go up and see my baby first."  
  
"I'll take you" she tells me. "Let me grab a wheelchair." She heads out the door and Jack holds my hand close.  
  
"Are you sure you're ready?" He questions.  
  
"Jack it's our daughter" I remind him.  
  
The nurse enters back into the room, pushing a wheelchair in hand. She helps me out of bed and into it. "Have you thought about what you're going to name your daughter?"  
  
"How about Lana?" I question Jack.  
  
"Is that even a name?"  
  
"Solana is." I answer.  
  
"We're not naming our daughter that." He comments, walking with us down the hall.  
  
"Then you come up with something better?"  
  
"I've been thinking about Alexis" he answers. "We could call her Lexi" for short.  
  
"Or Lexis or Plexi, like the glass. I don't think so."  
  
"Any name you choose can be made fun of" he reminds me.  
  
"I think Alexis is pretty but we're not calling her Lexi." I tell him. "How about Alexis Solana Malone?" I offer.  
  
He rolls his eyes with a sigh, glancing down at me looking pitiful as ever.  
  
"Alright but the next kid I get to name."  
  
"Oh come on" I eye him, "you just picked out Alexis."  
  
"Yeah but Solana?" He eyes me shaking his head. "What kind of drugs are you on?"  
  
"I think it's a beautiful name" the nurse remarks as she takes us upstairs and down the hall. She pages for another nurse. "Sunny will be making her way over momentarily. She'll explain everything you need to know about your daughter to you and what's going on."  
  
"Can we see her?" I question.  
  
"Yes but you'll have to remain seated. We don't want you walking around just yet."  
  
"I don't think I'm up for it anyway" I tell the nurse.  
  
I see the double doors opening and a nurse in a blue smock making her way towards us. She has shoulder length dark locks of hair and a bright smile.  
  
"They're here to see their baby girl Malone" the nurse tells Sunny.  
  
"I'll take you to her" she takes hold of the wheel chair and moves me down the corridor. "You need to know that you're daughter, although she's premature she's also a lot farther along then most seven month preemies."  
  
"What does that mean?" I question.  
  
"At first we suspected you had the date wrong and you were eight months pregnant. Until we did a series of tests. Your baby girl is more then healthy for her age, but there's still plenty to be concerned about. We took her off the ventilator and she seems to be breathing on her own."  
  
"That's good" Jack acknowledges, standing beside me.  
  
"Yes" she nods with a smile. "She's a real fighter. We were worried when she came out because of how blue she was, but she seems to be looking a lot better."  
  
She strolls me over towards the incubator. "I'm not sure how much you know about premature babies. The 22 to 24 week period is the most crucial to survival and fortunately we believe you to be at 28 weeks. Is that correct?"  
  
"29 I think" I answer, "not sure" I whisper out, trying to do the math in my head.  
  
"That doesn't mean there still isn't a high risk for your daughter but typically girls progress better then boys, so you're lucky" she tells me. "Have you thought about breastfeeding?"  
  
"I.I don't know" I answer.  
  
"We suggest it for mothers who have premature babies. The breastmilk helps reduce the likelihood of brain-related problems in the future and can ward off intestinal diseases that may cause death."  
  
"Will Samantha be able to breastfeed though?"  
  
"The accident wouldn't have affected her ability. Right now your daughter is using a tube to feed though because she can't swallow on her own. We'll help you use a breast pump until she's able to feed on her own. When she is, you'll be able to take her home."  
  
"When does that usually happen?" Jack questions.  
  
"Near the original due date" the nurse answers. "Commonly around 32 to 34 weeks your daughter should start to pick up on the ability."  
  
"Can I hold her?" I question.  
  
"I'm going to take you over to the sink to clean up. We want to keep germs and infections to a minimum. Then I'll bring you over to her incubator."  
  
I feel my heart plummet and tears forming in my eyes at the thought.  
  
The nurse helps me reach the sink and once we're finished she brings us to our daughter.  
  
"Have you decided on a name yet?"  
  
"Alexis Solana Malone" Jack answers.  
  
"That's pretty" she pulls up in front of the incubator. "Hi Alexis" the nurse whispers into the incubator. "You're mommy and daddy are here to see you." She carefully lifts the child, swaddling her in a warm blanket. Sunny carefully hands me Alexis as I glance down at her tiny body, wrapped in the pink blanket.  
  
"Hey sweetheart" I whisper down, cradling the small child against my chest. "I'm your mommy" I tell her, moving my index finger to her face, gently trailing a soft line as I feel her wiggling and watch her smile up at me.  
  
"So Alexis will be ok?" Jack questions, glancing at the nurse. My eyes never leave our baby girl's presence as I hear their conversation.  
  
"Typically preemies survive if they're 28 weeks after the initial conception. Your daughter is borderline but you shouldn't worry too much. She seems to be doing well. We're going to try and breastfeed her but it will likely take some time for her to learn what to do."  
  
"She's so tiny" I whisper out, feeling as though my grasp could easily crush her.  
  
"Don't let that scare you" Sunny answers. "She needs you now more then ever."  
  
Jack takes a seat on a bench beside me, glancing down at our daughter. "Can I hold her?" He questions. He carefully takes her from my arms, clinging tightly to Alexis.  
  
"Are you sure I can breastfeed?" I glance up towards Sunny. "I'm worried about what medications they've given me after the accident."  
  
"I've talked to your doctor and to be honest they haven't given you anything that would harm your daughter."  
  
"Good" I answer, glancing over at Alexis.  
  
"If you want, I can get you started with a breast pump so we can feed Alexis."  
  
"ok" I answer.  
  
"We'll be back in a few minutes dad" Sunny tells Jack as he nods his head but continues to talk softly to Alexis.  
  
"We're not going to try breastfeeding immediately?" I question.  
  
"Right now Alexis has been under a lot of stress. We want to take things slow with her. In the morning we'll try breastfeeding. In the meantime" she takes me into a closed off section and explains to me what to do.  
  
After I finish up, the nurse strolls me back towards Jack. "Hey Sam" Jack glances up towards me.  
  
"We're going to try and feed Alexis" the nurse takes our daughter and lies her back down in the incubator. "You should probably get some rest" Sunny tells me. "Can you manage taking her back downstairs or would you like me to call someone to come get you?"  
  
"I can handle it" Jack answers, strolling me down the hall and glancing back at our newborn daughter.  
  
As we make our way back onto the unit, the nurse sees Jack and immediately takes over. "I've got her" she offers, pushing me into my room and helping me back into bed. "You should rest" she tells me. "We need to make sure you stay healthy for your baby girl."  
  
I nod my head and shut my eyes. Jack takes a seat beside the bed, his hand holding mine firmly.  
  
"Jack why don't you go home and get some sleep" I offer.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because I need you to be in good shape to watch over Alexis" I remind him. "Besides sleeping in that chair won't have you heal any faster" I eye him seriously.  
  
"You'll call me when you wake up?"  
  
"Go home," I remind him. "If anything comes up I'll call" I answer. He leans down, pressing a kiss to my lips.  
  
"I love you" he tells me.  
  
"I love you too" I answer, closing my eyes and hearing his footsteps trail out the hall. 


	76. Chapter 76

"Go home," I remind him. "If anything comes up I'll call" I answer. He leans down, pressing a kiss to my lips.  
  
"I love you" he tells me.  
  
"I love you too" I answer, closing my eyes and hearing his footsteps trail out the hall.  
  
*******  
  
"Samantha?" I hear Chloe's voice and open my eyes to see Martin sitting beside my bed with Chloe standing over me. "I heard the news." She tells me with weary eyes.  
  
"Who called?"  
  
"Jack" Martin answers. "He needed to make sure to take time off work so he called Van Doren and then Chloe."  
  
"And you just happened to show up?" I eye Martin.  
  
"I was over her place." He answers with a shy smile.  
  
"How are you feeling?" Chloe sits on the edge of the hospital bed, eyeing me. Her hand runs in my hair, noticing the bump and scratch that's still fresh.  
  
"Achy" I answer with a yawn, "and exhausted." I let out a sigh. "I'm just glad our daughter is doing alright."  
  
"So it was a girl" Chloe chimes with a smile. "Hannah was right."  
  
"Was she?" I question. "We named her Alexis Solana Malone."  
  
"Better then Alexis Solana Spade" Martin chuckles, "think of what her initials would have been."  
  
Chloe gently punches him in the shoulder, "be nice to my sister," she warns him with a glance. She glances towards me, "do you want us to call Marie and let the girls know?"  
  
"The doctors don't want a lot of visitors to the NICU. Especially young children because of the worry for infection."  
  
"Hannah and Kate will be disappointed" Martin remarks.  
  
"They'll understand" Chloe reassures me. "Can I see my niece? Even from behind a glass door?"  
  
"Yeah I'm pretty sure you can. I'm going to have to head up there in a little while to try breastfeeding her. They figure when she can eat on her own, she can go home."  
  
"How long till that happens?" Martin questions.  
  
"Three weeks minimum." I answer. "In the meantime she's in an incubator to keep her warm." I whisper out. Chloe studies me intently; "she's so small." I whisper out.  
  
"She's strong. Just like her parents" she reminds me with a kiss to the forehead. "How are you doing?" She questions with worry in her eyes. I've never seen my sister concerned about anything.  
  
"I'll be ok" I tell her. "I'm just worried about Alexis."  
  
"Don't be" she tells me, squeezing my hand. "We'll watch over her while you rest. Jack will be back in a few hours."  
  
"I know I sent him home to get rest. He looked like hell" I tell them.  
  
"Yeah well he probably looks worse being home alone," Martin adds.  
  
"You don't think I should have sent him home?"  
  
"No I think you should have. I just think Jack's not likely to sleep with his wife and daughter in the hospital."  
  
"I can't help that" I answer.  
  
"Come on Chloe we should let Samantha rest up" Martin stands up giving me a soft smile. "Feel better, ok?"  
  
"Yeah" I nod with tired eyes.  
  
"Things are good between you and Jack then, right?" He reaffirms.  
  
"Of course. We worked it mostly out before the accident. Right now I could care less about our stupid fight." I remind him.  
  
"That's good because OPR was called in to review the recent casefile as well as some other things."  
  
"Shit" I whisper out.  
  
"Don't sweat it right now. I told Jack and he said you two would worry about it later."  
  
"Thanks for the heads up." I remind him.  
  
"Anytime. Feel better" he tells me, before they slip out of my room. I close my eyes, letting sleep overtake me.  
  
"Samantha" I hear the nurse's soft voice awakening me, "we're going to want to take you upstairs to try and feed Alexis."  
  
I nod my head with a yawn. She helps me into the wheelchair and down the hall.  
  
"Don't be surprised if she doesn't take to feeding right away. It will likely be a few weeks but we like to try early on."  
  
"Alright" I answer. We head into the elevator and I see Jack looking tired and worn. "I thought you went home to sleep."  
  
"I did. I was heading up to check on Alexis" he answers.  
  
"We're going to try and feed your daughter" the nurse tells Jack. We make our way towards the unit, washing our hands and Jack puts on a gown to ensure cleanliness.  
  
Sunny comes over towards us, to wheel me to our baby girl. "She's doing just fine" Sunny assures us. "She's been sleeping like an angel. I'm going to stroll you back into the room we were in last night. I'll going to help you onto the bed we have in here and I want you to put this other gown on backwards. Once I bring your daughter in, I'll give you another gown to put on the right way, to keep you both warm."  
  
Sunny heads out and Jack helps me with the gown. A few minutes later she carries in Alexis, and hands the baby to me. "It'll probably be a while till Alexis gets the hang of this, but the simple skin on skin contact also is known to heal children quicker." I nod my head, feeling tears slip down my cheeks.  
  
I feel Jack's hand on my shoulder as he bends down to press a kiss to my forehead as he watches our little girl.  
  
The nurse helps me rearrange Alexis to try and breastfeed her, even though it doesn't seem to be working.  
  
"It'll likely take some time" Sunny reassures me. "We can still feed her your milk though, and in time you'll be able to feed her when she's ready."  
  
"Can I hold her for awhile?" I question.  
  
"Of course. Just make sure to keep her covered. She needs to maintain her body temperature. Before I forget, we need you to sign a list of names you'll allow to see Alexis. Right now only immediate family is allowed in here. But if she's moved from this unit, we only allow family and friends on the list to visit her."  
  
"Good" Jack answers, "you check ID too right?"  
  
"Yes" Sunny responds. "I'll let the three of you bond. Let me know when you're done" she tells us before slipping out of the room.  
  
"So Martin and Chloe stopped by last night."  
  
"Yeah I called them, thought they should know we wouldn't be into work" Jack answers. "There's another OPR investigation" he lets out a sigh, taking a seat beside me.  
  
"It doesn't matter. I can't go back to work."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Someone has to watch over Alexis. I can leave her like this" I answer.  
  
"I didn't figure we'd leave her alone" Jack responds. "I was talking to Chloe and she was offering to watch the baby on Fridays to give us some alone time."  
  
"The girls come over on Fridays."  
  
"They come over at night. We'll have all day together."  
  
"Jack you'll have work" I remind him.  
  
"And you won't?" He counters. "Do you want to stay home with Alexis?"  
  
"Someone needs to" I point out. "It might as well be me."  
  
"Would you rather take a temporary leave of absence?" Jack suggests. "That way you wouldn't have to officially leave the FBI."  
  
"It won't stop the OPR investigation" I remind him.  
  
"When you come back you can change divisions. Or I can change divisions. It doesn't really matter. I'll do whatever you want."  
  
"I know" I whisper out. "It might be awhile till I'm ready to work again."  
  
"That's ok. Take your time" he presses a soft kiss to my lips as his hand traces over Alexis' face. "She's so beautiful." 


	77. Chapter 77

Four weeks pass and Alexis is finally ready to be brought home from the hospital. She's managed to gain a little more weight and maintain her body temperature. She also seems to be getting the hang of breastfeeding, probably better then I have.  
  
We wrap her in a warm blanket, cocooning her from the cold air as Jack opens the door to my sister's car and we buckle Alexis in.  
  
"Thanks for picking us up Chloe" I see her smiling face as she takes a seat behind the wheel and I scoot in next to our daughter. Jack glances back towards the two of us in the backseat.  
  
"How are my girls doing?"  
  
"Good except it's freezing" I shiver.  
  
"Yeah the heat's on. It'll take a minute to warm up but don't worry." She smiles with a hint of something and I eye her curious.  
  
"What's going on?"  
  
"Nothing" she counters, pulling out into traffic and towards our apartment.  
  
We finally reach our destination and Jack offers to carry Alexis up the stairs inside her carseat. I key the apartment and turn the handle pulling the door back slowly to see everyone yell, "surprise!"  
  
I see Martin, Vivian, Danny, Marie, Hannah, and Kate all inside our home.  
  
"I wanted to throw you a baby shower, but since you had the baby early" Chloe counters, "Martin and I thought this would be a better idea."  
  
"Thanks you guys" I quip, stepping inside the warm apartment to see pink balloons and gifts in the living room. "Did you know about this?" I glance towards Jack.  
  
"I had an idea" he answers. "After all, they needed a key to get in" he smiles in response, giving me a sweet kiss on the lips.  
  
Chloe closes the door behind us and ushers me to the sofa to sit down. Jack takes Alexis from the carseat and hands her to me to hold.  
  
Hannah and Kate follow towards the sofa, glancing down at Alexis in my arms. "She's so tiny" Hannah states, moving her hand to hold the little girls. Kate runs her fingers along Alexis head, watching as the baby scrunches her face in response.  
  
"She's grown quite a bit since being in the hospital" I tell them.  
  
"How much does she weigh now?" Vivian questions from behind the sofa.  
  
"A little under five pounds."  
  
"She's adorable" Danny grins down at the baby girl. "Can I hold her?"  
  
"Be careful" I tell him, handing off my daughter. He cuddles her close, keeping the warm blanket nestled around her body. His one arm cradles her as the other one, goes to her hand that's squirming around wildly.  
  
"You're such a cutie" he whispers down at the smiling face. I feel Jack's hands on my shoulders as I lean back into the couch.  
  
His lips move to the back of my head, "feel good to be home again?" He whispers into my ear.  
  
I nod my head yes and shut my eyes for a brief second.  
  
Martin offers to make everyone coffee, while Jack and I start in on opening the baby gifts everyone's brought.  
  
"I know you didn't finish with the nursery" Chloe eyes me. "The mural of Winnie the Pooh came out nice, but I thought you might need more then that to care for a baby" she reminds me.  
  
"What's a mural mommy?" Kate asks Marie.  
  
"Remember what Aunt Chloe painted in the nursery on the walls?" I speak up.  
  
"Yeah" Kate nods.  
  
"That's a mural."  
  
"Oh" her eyes light up. "Will you paint me something on my walls? Please?" She whines in a high-pitched voice, holding her hands together and pleading at Chloe.  
  
"Maybe for your birthday" Chloe answers. "I'm sort of tied-up in the meantime." She glances towards Martin as he comes back into the room and slips his arm around her waist.  
  
"Open her gift already" Hannah states.  
  
"Why don't you tell us what it is" I point out, eyeing Hannah who has a huge smile forming on her face.  
  
"I'll write it down" she grabs a piece of paper and scribbles something down. "After you open in it, you can see I was right." She smirks.  
  
Jack brings the box over towards me and I start unwrapping the gift from Chloe. "I hope you like it. If not it's returnable" she quips with a light-hearted laugh.  
  
I peel the paper back and see a glider that I can put the baby in.  
  
"I know your little girl is too small for it now, but it won't be long" Chloe points out. "Besides open the smaller box, you'll find it more helpful in the meantime."  
  
I hand Jack the box and he shakes his head no, "you open it Sam."  
  
I pull back the neatly wrapped paper, revealing a small box. I open the lid, pulling out several baby girl outfits sized for a preemie. "Thank you" I tell her, reaching over to give her a hug and kiss.  
  
"Your welcome. But there's one more thing from me."  
  
"More?" I question in astonishment.  
  
"Yeah although Martin picked it out."  
  
Jack hands me the final gift from Chloe and I open it to reveal Winnie the Pooh bedsheets made for a crib.  
  
"Thank you so much. You did good Martin" I give him thumbs up and watch as he grabs my baby girl from Marie.  
  
"Alexis is such a cutie. Where did she ever get her looks from?" He smiles towards me and then glances towards Chloe. "Isn't she an angel?" He muses.  
  
"Don't worry we all discussed gifts. You don't have to worry about getting two things from the same people." Chloe answers. "And yes Martin I think Alexis is an angel, but then again I haven't watched her yet. My offer still stands" she glances towards me.  
  
"That would be great."  
  
"What offer?" Martin questions.  
  
"Watching Alexis on Friday afternoons. I have off and I think it would be good for Alexis to see her Aunt Chloe" she grins over at Martin who's cradling my daughter. Alexis starts to grow fussy in his arms.  
  
"I think she wants her mommy" he hands me my daughter.  
  
"I'm going to go feed her" I answer, carefully standing up and heading towards the bedroom.  
  
"Need any help?" Jack questions.  
  
"No I can handle it. You entertain our guests. Open more presents if you want." I offer, heading into the bedroom to breastfeed. "Hey now," I whisper to Alexis, glancing down at her squirming body as I unbutton my top and hold her close to me to feed.  
  
I hear a soft knocking on the door.  
  
"Come in" I call out, trying to cover myself as best I can.  
  
"Mommy wanted me to bring you this" Kate hands me a baby rag for spit up.  
  
"Thanks" I laugh softly. "Was Hannah right about what Chloe bought?" I question.  
  
"Yeah she guessed it exactly. Although I think they both talked about it." Kate shrugs and heads out of the room. "I'm glad Alexis is ok" she tells me before closing the door.  
  
"Me too" I answer with a soft breath.  
  
A few minutes pass and I hear another knock, "Sam?" I hear Jack's voice as he opens the door.  
  
"No peace and quiet?" I tease.  
  
"I wanted to check on you" he answers, taking a seat beside me on the bed. "Besides I had to get away from the two of them."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Martin and Chloe."  
  
"Please tell me they're not doing something on our furniture!"  
  
"No" he laughs, "but I wouldn't put it past them. How's Lexi doing?"  
  
"Alexis" I correct him with a grin, "she's doing ok. I think she's getting enough milk" I shrug, "I can't really tell."  
  
"Is she feeding the same as in the hospital?"  
  
"Yeah" I nod.  
  
"Then she should be alright."  
  
"Relax" he reassures me, gently putting his hand on my inner thigh to comfort me. "You have enough to worry about as it is."  
  
"Yeah I know" I answer.  
  
I lean back against the pillows, holding Alexis close and feeling Jack move his hand into my hair as he brushes his lips against mine.  
  
"Two more weeks" he reminds me.  
  
"Jack about that."  
  
"If you're not ready it's ok" he draws his hand behind my ear, moving the hair out of my face.  
  
"It's not that I don't want to. Well actually for once I don't" I laugh softly. "I know you probably don't want to hear that."  
  
"I just want you to be honest with me" his eyes meet mine.  
  
"I have been. Oh yeah speaking of being honest. Did you look at the disc I gave you for Christmas?"  
  
He winces in response. "I forget about it. I left it in my desk at work and Van Doren came in when I was about to open it. I closed the file and was worried about looking at it until no one else was around."  
  
"It's not that big a deal" I laugh softly. "I didn't want to see it, but it doesn't mean if someone else accidentally looked at it, that it would be the end of the world."  
  
"It's really not porn?" He teases. "Damn. I was hoping I got a video of you and."  
  
"Who else?" I eye him intently.  
  
He shrugs, "doesn't matter."  
  
"You're something else" I laugh, giving him another kiss on the lips. "I think she's done" I comment, glancing down at Alexis who is sound asleep with milk dribbling down from her lips.  
  
I carefully pry her away and Jack takes her from my arms, placing her in the bassinet while I wipe myself dry and work on getting my shirt buttoned.  
  
"Sam" I hear Jack's concerned voice and glance up to see him staring at my chest.  
  
"Jack it's because I'm breastfeeding" I answer with a laugh.  
  
"No" he shakes his head, moving towards me and gently drawing his fingers around the bruise from the seatbelt. "I'm so sorry" he whispers out, his eyes catch mine before his fall to the floor.  
  
"Jack" I take his hands in mine. "It wasn't your fault" I remind him. "Everyone's ok" I point out.  
  
"I know but still" he shakes his head.  
  
"Shhh" I answer, pressing my lips to his as I feel wet tears falling from his face. We fall back against the mattress our legs intertwined together as my lips move down his jawline. "Everything turned out perfect" I reassure him.  
  
"No it didn't."  
  
"We have a healthy baby girl. What more could we ask for?"  
  
"But."  
  
"Shhh" I silence him with my lips meeting his and my body straddling his frame. "I might not be ready for some things" I remind him, "but I'm still here" I point out, moving my hands down his chest as I feel him growing hot beneath my touch.  
  
"Sam" his voice is deep and throaty as I feel one of his hands on my hip and the other trailing a path towards my exposed breasts.  
  
I lean down, pushing my tongue into his mouth as I hear him moan out. His mouth is hot and fiery and I fail to hear the door opening.  
  
"Samantha?" I hear Chloe's voice as she gently coughs to get our attention. I roll off of Jack's frame and glance over at her. "Sorry for interrupting but it's starting to snow. We thought we should leave now before it gets worse."  
  
I glance out the window and see the ground covered in a blanket of white. I slide off the bed, buttoning my shirt the rest of the way. "I'll be out to say goodbye in a minute" he answers, while trying to catch his breath.  
  
"Can't wait the six weeks?" Chloe teases into my ear.  
  
"On the contrary I've waited hell of a lot longer" I remind her, thinking of all the times I wanted to be with Jack while he was married and home with his kids. "We're not doing anything the doctor warned against anyhow." I shrug. "Besides he's a guy" I laugh softly as we head out to the living room.  
  
"Thanks for coming everyone. I'm sorry we didn't get to open all the presents." I glance around at the huge wrapped boxes on the living room floor.  
  
"It's ok" Marie tells me, "I know how it is. Take it easy and if you ever need a hand, give me a call."  
  
"Thank you" I answer, giving her a hug, "and thank you for coming."  
  
She nods her head with a polite smile, "come on girls."  
  
"But we want to stay with Samantha and Daddy" Kate whines.  
  
Hannah glances towards me. "Can we stay?"  
  
"You're not playing this game. I already said no" Marie interrupts. "You'll see them the weekend. You know the rules."  
  
"But mom" Hannah whines, "we won't impose. We'll help with the baby. Besides Dad's going to need some help setting up our gift" she eyes her mom intently.  
  
"You can help him the weekend. He won't need it before then."  
  
"Awww" Hannah pouts her lower lip.  
  
"Give Samantha and your dad a hug" Marie tells the girls as I see Jack coming out from the bedroom.  
  
"We don't get to say goodbye to Alexis?" Danny questions.  
  
"She's asleep and you're not going to wake her" I chime.  
  
"Give her a kiss for me when she's up then" Danny tells me.  
  
"Thanks for coming" I give him a hug and he pulls Jack in for a hug to whisper something into his ear.  
  
"Will do" he responds aloud, giving Danny an affirmative nod before they slip out the door.  
  
"I should go too" Vivian grabs her jacket.  
  
"Be careful driving home" I remind her.  
  
"Yeah" she nods, slipping out the door.  
  
I see Martin in the kitchen and Chloe whispering something into his ear.  
  
"Hey you two" I eye them both. "Are you going to hang around or."  
  
"We've got plans" Chloe grins pulling me in for a hug. "Martin's feeling better, if you know what I mean" she whispers into my ear.  
  
"You sound like you're in high school" I laugh as she eyes me to shut up.  
  
"Take care of her Martin," I tell him, giving him a hug.  
  
"Don't I always?" He gives Chloe a sweet chaste kiss on the lips.  
  
"No tongue?" She groans out.  
  
"Do you two mind? I don't want to hear that" Jack groans out.  
  
"What's gotten into him?" Martin questions.  
  
"I'll tell you about it in the car" Chloe whispers as they slip on their coats.  
  
"Thanks again for everything." I remind them.  
  
"I wouldn't have missed it for the world Samantha" Chloe gives me another hug and kiss before taking Martin's hand and leading him outside.  
  
The door is shut and immediately I feel and hear the silence echoing through the apartment. I glance over to see Jack lying on the couch with his eyes closed.  
  
"You ok?" I question.  
  
"You just got me really worked up in there and.I'm sorry I'm trying to wait but when you go and do that" he lets out another breath.  
  
"It's normal" I remind him, moving to lean over his body.  
  
"Sam" he whispers out.  
  
"It's ok. Besides just because we can't make love, doesn't mean I don't want you."  
  
"But."  
  
I stop him from saying anything else as my hand slips under his shirt and along his chest. His body rises upwards as my hand begins to move away, while his body begs for more.  
  
My lips trail along his neck, feeling his skin grow hot and his body restless. "You're." his breath is lost on him as I feel my way down his body, shedding his clothes. "Sam" he whispers out, his hand kneading through my hair as I feel him growing in intensity and falling fast towards oblivion.  
  
Moments later his breathing becomes steady and his eyes meet mine.  
  
"How about we head into the bedroom?" I suggest. We head on our feet into the room quiet as ever and careful not to wake Alexis. I crawl beneath the covers, feeling Jack's body slipping beside me.  
  
"Is there anything I can."  
  
"Shhh" I answer, closing my eyes and pressing a kiss to his lips. "Sleep" I offer the words, feeling his arm hold me close as I cuddle into his frame. 


	78. Chapter 78

I hear Alexis crying and roll around to see Jack asleep. I let out a sigh, shifting off the bed to get our baby girl. I cradle her into my arms, unbuttoning my blouse to feed her again.  
  
"I'm sorry" he mumbles out.  
  
"There's a bottle in the fridge for you to give her the next time" I remind him. "I've got her now though" I smile down at my daughter, closing my eyes as I feel content and at ease.  
  
"Sam" I hear Jack's voice as he pulls our daughter from my grip and my eyes open.  
  
"Hmmm?" I mumble out, releasing my hold as he puts Alexis back into her bassinet.  
  
"Get some more sleep" he presses a kiss to my head and tucks me back into bed.  
  
A week passes and we've managed to open the gifts and set most of them up. We have the nursery situated with a crib that Marie and the girls gave us, along with a changing table from Vivian, and a high chair from Danny. We have plenty of toys thrown into a wooden chest that we bought and we've tried to keep the place pretty organized for when the girls come over.  
  
Jack's at work and with the current OPR investigation, he's been having a rough time. Farrell has been after our unit since the beginning of time and he's yet to quit. Jack and I have decided on me taking a temporary leave of absence and then eventually when I choose to come back, I'll work part-time on another unit. Farrell got wind of my marriage to Jack and has threatened to suspend us both. He doesn't have much of a basis to prove his allegations since we don't have to hand over our marriage license and the rest is all here say, but no one's said a word. Well there is the other small factor though, Alexis' last name is Malone.  
  
Just last Friday Chloe came over to help watch Alexis and stayed the afternoon to keep me company. We decided to get a security system, although I think it's rather pointless. Jack wouldn't lift up and insisted it's to keep our daughters safe as well as his wife. I just shrugged and told him it meant he could spend less on himself. Of course he laughed in response and shook his head while giving me an evil glare.  
  
It's Monday morning and I'm working on cleaning up the place a little while Alexis is asleep. She's been gaining weight steadily and seems to be healthy. We have another doctor's appointment next week, and hopefully things will all be good.  
  
I hear the phone ringing and quickly run over to answer it before she wakes up.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hey Sam" I hear Jack's voice and can't contain my smile.  
  
"How's it going?"  
  
"It was good until Farrell went snooping."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Remember the disc you gave me? He found it and demands to see it."  
  
"So show it to him" I answer with a laugh.  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Do I want him to see it? Of course not but he's going to look at it either way. Besides what does it matter if I'm not in the same division? I sent it to you. It's not that bad" I dismiss the notion. Jack lets out a sigh of relief. "What's going on now?" I question.  
  
"He left the office for lunch."  
  
"And?"  
  
"He forgot to take the disc with him." I can't help but smile. "While I have you on the phone."  
  
"Oh no" I shake my head. "I'm going to hang up."  
  
"Don't," he warns me. "I want to talk to you. I feel like we haven't talked in ages."  
  
"Children do that to you."  
  
"We promised it would never get that way" he answers.  
  
"I'm sure it'll ease up when she gets a little older. Besides you're at work all the time."  
  
"I'll be home regular time tonight. The case loads light."  
  
"That's a first." I comment dryly.  
  
"Sam."  
  
"I'm sorry" I let out a breath, "it's just been hard."  
  
"I know. I offered to hire someone to help."  
  
"I can't do that" I answer. "Anyway I have Chloe coming over Friday and she's always a big help."  
  
"Martin took off Friday. I think he might be joining the two of you."  
  
"Good to know." I respond.  
  
"Listen I'm sorry I haven't been a big help lately."  
  
"You've been fine" I answer. "It's just been a little tough."  
  
"It's only been the first week on your own. Let me make some calls. Vivian had a phone number for someone who wouldn't mind helping once or twice a week. Wouldn't that be nice? You could have time to relax or whatever."  
  
"I can handle being a mom."  
  
"I never doubted you" he answers softly. I hear him clicking away at the computer. "Sam you know I love you. I'm just trying to look out for what's best for you."  
  
"I know." I answer. "What are you doing?"  
  
"Looking at the file. It's a letter." He comments, "what you gave me."  
  
"It's a list. A copy actually of the list on my computer of my favorite things. You mentioned it while on that case a while back." I let out a soft nervous breath, "I'll talk to you later."  
  
"Not so fast Sam." He answers, "The things I love are one in the same" he begins reading the letter and immediately I feel my stomach knot.  
  
"Jack I'll see you tonight."  
  
"Don't hang up yet!" I begin to replace the phone back on the receiver but can't seem to do it. I hold the phone to my ear quietly, listening to the words he's reading aloud. "The things I love are most of all what I can't have. The most obvious being love from Jack Malone. Obviously I can't have that. He's married and with two adorable girls that adore their father more then anyone I've ever seen in my life. I love that too. The way they look up to him. The way he shines in their eyes at being a hero. I love his dedication and determination to find each and every missing person. He never gives up and it keeps me going. Keeps me realizing that if I were lost, he would look for me. He wouldn't give up because, well maybe if it's not because he loves me, it's because he loves his job. And that's just as good, right?"  
  
"Jack" I whisper out.  
  
"You wrote this?" He questions.  
  
"Yeah that entry was before the incident in the bookstore. That entry was after that day on the bench, when we ended it for good."  
  
He's silent, taking in my words. He continues reading the message aloud.  
  
"I love the simple things in life; the sunset and the rise of the moon. I love the way the warm sand feels between my toes, and the colors of a rainbow. I love how the ocean smells and how the heat feels seeping into my body. I love most of all how Jack makes me feel like all of these things and more. He makes me feel as though I'm floating on air. As though I'm robbed of a thousand breaths and given so much air I can't breathe. His smile reminds me of the birds singing and the early rise of the sun. Most of all I guess I love the things I can't have or won't have because they're not mine to have. They're the things that are only glimpses of what exist and are free to the world but not to me."  
  
"Jack" I whisper out again, feeling tears form in my eyes and immediately my stomach tenses and regrets form on my part. What if he hates what I gave him and thinks less of me?  
  
He continues reading on. "This one is dated two weeks after the hostage crisis" he comments. "I've fallen victim to the prey in the night and the shadows looming at my heart. I've cried a river of pain and fear I lost the only thing I live for. Whether it be mine to lose or not, he had my heart and my life. He gave me one of those things back but still holds tight to the other. I can't shake the notion that he saved me because he cared and not because it was his duty."  
  
"Please" I whisper out, "tell me you don't think I'm crazy for writing that."  
  
"Not at all" he answers. "I wish I would have seen it sooner. It's beautiful."  
  
"No it's a mess. Just like me."  
  
"Not true" he counters. I hear him clicking the next entry. "I can't sleep" he begins reading and I remember typing the words onto the screen. "I worry that everyone's lost faith in my abilities, not only as an agent but also in me. Jack has pulled away and acts only as a superior, and truth is his opinion and validity is the only person I worry about. I don't care whether OPR reinstates me or gives me desk duty for eternity. Well I do care but I don't. I just want things to be right between Jack and myself. I can't live this way and it's only a matter of time until."  
  
I let out a soft breath, waiting to hear Jack's response.  
  
"Oh my god Sam. Promise me you weren't going to kill yourself."  
  
"No" I shake my head. "I wouldn't have." He lets out a frustrated sigh, not believing me. "I was considering quitting but never the other."  
  
"You swear you wouldn't lie to me?"  
  
"You don't have to worry. Besides I talked to Lisa and she did help some."  
  
"She did?"  
  
"Well I didn't tell her about you so much as the shooting but."  
  
"I suspect she knew what you were talking about" he answers, "even if you didn't say the words, she has a way with reading people."  
  
"Did she ever read you?" I question.  
  
"I should go" Jack counters.  
  
"Oh come on, now this conversation is getting interesting."  
  
"I bet" he laughs softly. "I'll see you tonight."  
  
"Love you" I answer, before hanging up the phone.  
  
I hear Alexis growing fussy and I retrieve her from the bassinet and change her diaper before feeding her. 


	79. Chapter 79

As the day wears on, I do some laundry and start in on making dinner. I hear the front door open and glance over to see Jack making his way inside.  
  
"You're early."  
  
"You're making dinner" he eyes me with a grin. "I thought we agreed to leave the cooking to me?"  
  
"You were working all day. Besides it wasn't a big deal."  
  
"How's Lexi?"  
  
"Alexis" I correct him with a grin, "she's sleeping soundly. Don't you dare even think of waking her."  
  
"I won't" he answers, putting his briefcase on the chair and heading into the kitchen to give me a kiss. "Smells good."  
  
"Hmmm?" I answer, feeling his hands move down my back.  
  
"The food" he answers. "I barely ate lunch. Farrell interrupted me again. I managed to hide the disc from him and luckily he forgot about it. Or failed to mention it, either way it's home safe."  
  
"So what's going to happen with the OPR investigation? I don't even understand why they're back."  
  
"They're always back" he answers, as I turn around to work on the stove. I feel Jack's body behind mine and his hand taking the spoon from me, to stir the food.  
  
"I've got it" I remind him.  
  
"Let me" he offers, giving my neck a soft kiss as I feel my skin reacting so easily to him. "So Farrell comes in today, insistent on finding out when we got married. Like it matters?" Jack laughs and shakes his head. "He heard the rumor from another division and wanted to check up on it. Of course he sees a wedding band on my finger and asks how my marriage is going. I wasn't sure if he thought I was still married to Marie or was married to you and he was hoping I'd give something away."  
  
"Did you?"  
  
"What do you think?" He laughs softly. "Anyway Farrell will likely be back in 6 to 8 weeks for another evaluation or until he finds something."  
  
"Why so soon?"  
  
"He heard you had a baby girl and is threatening to find the birth record to verify his suspicions on the father" Jack shrugs. "I've already signed transfer papers and since you're on maternity leave it doesn't really matter until you come back."  
  
"But when I do."  
  
"He'll likely harass you for awhile" Jack shrugs.  
  
"He can't go snooping into birth certificates Jack, it's not ethical."  
  
"Does that matter?"  
  
"Isn't that the point of the Office of Professional Responsibility?"  
  
Jack shrugs in response, "they're going to do what they want to do. I wouldn't sweat over it."  
  
I head towards the cabinets, retrieving plates and setting the table.  
  
"I could get used to this."  
  
"What?" I question.  
  
"You taking care of the chores and cooking dinner. It's been over a week since I had to cook."  
  
"I don't hear you complaining," I remind him.  
  
"On the contrary. I've complementing you."  
  
"Thanks" I answer with a soft smile and a sigh.  
  
"When was the last time you fed Lexi?"  
  
I roll my eyes at the use of her name, "a little over an hour ago. I have a while till she'll need to eat again."  
  
"So we'll have time for the two of us?" He questions with a smile.  
  
"Jack!"  
  
"What? I can't want to spend some quality alone time together?"  
  
"You still never answered about Lisa and her reading you" I eye him suspiciously.  
  
"She made mention if I ever wanted to talk to her I could."  
  
"That's it?" I ask aloud.  
  
"She knew" he answers eyeing me. "That look in her eye told me everything. Besides she didn't seem surprised to see me checking up on you."  
  
"You did what?" My eyes widen.  
  
"I wanted to make sure you were seeing her. I worried that you'd skip the appointments or wouldn't get good use out of them."  
  
"You mean my comment that it was pointless didn't clue you in enough?" I tease.  
  
"I thought if I talked to her and she needed me to talk to you" he shrugs. "I know it sounds stupid and she can't say anything because of confidentiality and all but she understood why I was there and it wasn't as a boss."  
  
"It was as a friend?"  
  
"It was because I loved you, even then." He answers, brushing his lips against mine.  
  
I hear the timer on the stove interrupting us. "Dinner's ready" I murmur against his lips. "I need to get that" I hear the insistent beeping and move to get everything together. "You go get changed, but be quiet" I warn him.  
  
"Aren't I always?" He teases with a grin as he heads off into the bedroom.  
  
He comes back in the kitchen, dressed in pajamas.  
  
"You plan on going to bed after dinner?" I laugh with a wide grin.  
  
"No actually I have paperwork to do. If I went home early that meant."  
  
"You came home early?" I eye him with a shake of the head.  
  
"Earlier then the past week" he answers. "Besides you know how it is."  
  
"Yes I do."  
  
"I hope you're not putting yourself and everyone else under more pressure because you're one less teammate."  
  
"Actually" he eyes me as we take a seat at the table to eat. "We're hiring a replacement since you'll be transferred to another division."  
  
"Already?" My eyes widen in surprise.  
  
"We've been behind since you started part-time" he answers. "I've been avoiding the inevitable" he lets out a sigh. "We start interviewing next Monday."  
  
"Anyone you know?"  
  
"Mostly the kids right out of Quantico. I was against bringing in a rookie but Van Doren's been harping me about needing someone fresh and showing them the ropes. She told me to hire a rookie or mentor one and teach them about our unit."  
  
"You mentored me" I quip.  
  
"I don't think that's what she's looking for." He shrugs. "I figured hiring one would be less work in the long run. Especially since we need another agent anyhow. Why take the time to teach two and later lose one?"  
  
"Good plan. So you're going to hire someone fresh. A new pair of eyes?"  
  
"That's the plan" he answers, taking a forkful of food.  
  
"And you don't think it's going to cause complications?" I remind him. "Sometimes we don't play by the book."  
  
"Oh believe me, they'll have to learn the respect of their colleagues before they can go out in the field." I can't help but smile. "What?"  
  
"You really haven't changed."  
  
"What makes you say that?"  
  
"You did that to Martin and to me when I joined."  
  
"Martin wasn't cut out to go right into the field and you, well."  
  
"Well what?"  
  
"I had other plans for you."  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"I just mean I thought you were a more valuable asset inside doing research."  
  
"Bullshit" I answer with a laugh. "You haven't changed" I smile.  
  
"Sure I have Sam. I have you and Alexis. I didn't have either of those things when I first met you."  
  
"You're so good at avoiding issues" I point out, standing up and clearing my plate.  
  
"You're done already?"  
  
"Yeah" I nod, making my way towards the sink to run some water.  
  
"Are you eating ok?" He stands up, moving his hands around my hips from behind me.  
  
"I'm fine" I answer, "I just haven't had as big an appetite now that the baby's been born. Go finish up" I remind him, eyeing his plate.  
  
"I'm done too."  
  
"No you're not" I laugh, "if you are, then why are you harping me about." He silences me with a kiss to my neck. "Jack" I whisper out. "You can't change the subject by." I feel his lips lapping at my neck and his hands inching up my shirt. My words fail me as my eyes slip closed and I lean into his body.  
  
"I can't?" He muses, turning me around to face him.  
  
"You think you're so smug" I answer.  
  
"I think I know how to put a smile on your face" he quips, meeting my lips with his. His hands slip down my back, drifting lower as our crying daughter interrupts us. 


	80. Chapter 80

"I think I know how to put a smile on your face" he quips, meeting my lips with his. His hands slip down my back, drifting lower as our crying daughter interrupts us.  
  
*********  
  
"I should go get her" I tell him, slipping from his hold.  
  
"I thought she already ate?"  
  
"She did" I answer, heading into the bedroom and leaning down to retrieve her from the bassinet.  
  
"Let me" he gestures for me to hand over Alexis.  
  
"You going to feed her?" I laugh with a warm smile.  
  
"If you bring her a bottle I will."  
  
I roll my eyes and Jack takes our baby girl in his arms, cuddling her close as I head into the kitchen to warm up a bottle of milk in the fridge. "Here" I hand him the bottle, watching as he tests it on his wrist before giving it to her to drink.  
  
Jack takes a seat in the rocking chair in the corner of the bedroom.  
  
"I'll work on the dishes" I offer, stepping out to leave Jack with Alexis.  
  
After I'm done, I head back into the bedroom to see Jack nowhere in sight. "Jack?"  
  
"I'm in here" he calls out from down the hall. I head down to the nursery to see him putting a new diaper on Alexis.  
  
"There's my baby girl" I smile, seeing her wiggling beneath Jack's hold.  
  
"All done" he chimes, picking her up and holding her as we head back down the hall into the bedroom.  
  
I take a seat on the bed, lying back against the pillows. Jack lies Alexis between us as he watches our daughter.  
  
"She looks just like you Sam" Jack tells me, as she grips onto his finger.  
  
"I don't see it."  
  
"Oh come on" he glances up at me, "look at Alexis' eyes and smile. You can't say you don't see the similarity."  
  
"She is gorgeous" I quip, "must get that from her mom."  
  
"Ironically though I don't see a single trait from her dad" Jack eyes me suspiciously.  
  
"I can't help that she gets all her good genes from me."  
  
He shakes his head, "she doesn't even have my hair color."  
  
"She has your skin color" I quip. "She's darker then me."  
  
"That's because you're pale. Everyone's darker then you."  
  
I smack him on the shoulder. "I was surprised her peach fuzz wasn't darker" Jack runs his fingers along Alexis' hair that's slowly coming in.  
  
"She gets her good looks from her mom" I quip with a shrug.  
  
"That could be bad."  
  
"Why?" I question with mock anger.  
  
"All the guys will be chasing after our daughter when she gets older."  
  
"If she's smart she'll use it to her advantage."  
  
"Excuse me?" He eyes me intently. "Are you telling me you slept with me because of my position at the Bureau."  
  
"No" I laugh with delight, "I'm just saying she'll grow up knowing she can have and do anything because her good looks will help her get around in the world. It certainly doesn't hurt." I point out.  
  
He eyes me skeptically and plants another kiss on my lips. "Better answer" he tells me, as I hear our daughter making gurgling noises from between us.  
  
"Hey Alexis" I whisper down at her, running my fingers along her forehead.  
  
"Admit it" I hear Jack's voice in my ear, "you want to call her Lexi."  
  
I glance up at his smile as he presses a soft kiss to my lips.  
  
"You're wrong" I whisper in response, feeling his hand tease through my hair.  
  
"Am I?"  
  
"Yes" I nod and hear the phone interrupt us. Alexis starts to cry from the sound and Jack rolls out of bed to answer it.  
  
"Hello?" He pauses before lying back on the bed and handing me the phone, "it's for you."  
  
"Hello?" I question, handing our daughter to Jack to calm her down.  
  
"Samantha I need your help."  
  
"Matt is that you?" I question, hearing static on the line.  
  
"Please." I hear his voice begging.  
  
"Where are you?" I sit up in bed, getting his location and hanging up the phone.  
  
"Who's Matt?" Jack eyes me intently.  
  
"My brother. He needs help." I stand up heading for the closet to grab a sweater since it's close to zero outside.  
  
"You're going out now?"  
  
"I have to, he's my family." I remind Jack.  
  
"I'm coming with you."  
  
"Jack someone needs to stay with Alexis. She can't go out in this cold." I eye him.  
  
"You can't go alone."  
  
"I'll be fine. I still have my weapon" I remind him. "I'll bring my phone in case I need anything."  
  
"Be careful" he eyes me sternly.  
  
"Aren't I always?" I grab some money for a cab and head out the door.  
  
Twenty minutes later, the cab pulls up to see Matt sitting outside the bus stop. Ironically I remember my own life playing out the same way many years ago.  
  
Matt slips inside the back, shivering from the cold.  
  
"It's freezing" he states, eyeing me with a bright red face.  
  
"What do you need?" I immediately ask.  
  
"I owe some people money" he eyes me reluctantly.  
  
"How much?" My eyes widen in anger.  
  
"A hundred g."  
  
"You're kidding me."  
  
"I'm sorry Sam. I didn't know who else to turn to."  
  
"So you called me." I shake my head in disgust.  
  
"You're successful, I figured you had some cash stored away."  
  
"Do I look like a bank to you Matt?"  
  
"Do you think it's easy for me? Getting by on the street after being locked away."  
  
"You did that to yourself" I remind him.  
  
"No you did that to me." His gaze doesn't break from mine and I let out a breath.  
  
"I can't take you to my house."  
  
"Why not?" He questions.  
  
"I'm married, I have a family Matt."  
  
"Congrats" he scuffs the words, meaning not a single one.  
  
"I have a daughter and I refuse to put her life in danger because of your mistakes."  
  
"They were yours too." He eyes me.  
  
"I didn't decide to partake in your drug deals and other illegal festivities."  
  
"You might not have, but your boyfriend at the time certainly got involved and went over his head. You owe me Sam. We both know it."  
  
"I don't owe you shit."  
  
"You're here now" he reminds me. "That has to mean something on your guilty conscious."  
  
"I'm only here because you have no one else."  
  
"You think I'm a monster?" He questions, his head titling my way.  
  
"I never said that." I let out a sigh, "you need a place to stay I'll pay for a hotel room. You're not crashing at my place." I warn him.  
  
"I won't be an imposition."  
  
"Do you even know what that word means?" I glance into his steely blue eyes.  
  
"Listen I'm sorry I dragged you out tonight." He grabs for the door handle to let himself out and plants his feet on the ice cold cement.  
  
"Matt" I feel my stomach knotting, "get back in." I state with a resigned sigh, before telling the cabby to take us back to my place. 


	81. Chapter 81

"Listen I'm sorry I dragged you out tonight." He grabs for the door handle to let himself out and plants his feet on the ice cold cement.  
  
"Matt" I feel my stomach knotting, "get back in." I state with a resigned sigh, before telling the cabby to take us back to my place.  
  
*********  
  
"Listen I would have never come to you if it wasn't a life or death situation. I thought maybe since you worked for the FBI you had connections. Maybe you could pop a few guys and make this debt go away."  
  
"Do you think that's what I do? Kill people for kicks?"  
  
"It's just" he lets out a sigh and shuts his eyes, "I wouldn't be in this position if I hadn't gotten arrested in the first place."  
  
"The drug deal" I let out a sigh, "you're a hundred grand out because of the drugs, right?"  
  
"Yeah" he nods, running his hand through his hair. "I've been clean but it doesn't pay rent."  
  
"Get a real job." I roll my eyes as we pull in front of my place. I hand the cab driver some cash and we step outside.  
  
"It's not that easy. Do you know how hard it is to get a job after being convicted of a crime?"  
  
"How about your parole officer? Wasn't he supposed to help?"  
  
"He helped get me my first job. It didn't work out."  
  
"What happened?" I question, keying the door and opening it to see Jack feeding Alexis in the living room. Matt doesn't answer me.  
  
"Jack this is my brother Matt. Matt this is my husband Jack and our daughter Alexis." I introduce them.  
  
"Sam can I have a word with you in the bedroom?" He eyes me angrily.  
  
I head down the hall with Jack in toe.  
  
"What are you doing letting this man into our home?"  
  
"He needs help" I answer with a sigh.  
  
"You're putting faith in a man who's been on trial for murder."  
  
"Who told you that?" I eye him questionably. "He didn't kill anyone Jack. At least not as far as the law's concerned."  
  
"Well that makes me feel better" he puts Alexis down in her bassinet and then meets my gaze.  
  
"He sold drugs Jack. Don't get me wrong, I don't agree with what he did, but he served his time and he's clean now. He's trying to straighten out his life."  
  
"But?"  
  
"He's in debt from the drug deal that went wrong several years back."  
  
Jack lets out a sigh, "how much are we talking?"  
  
"A hundred thousand."  
  
"Shit" he shakes his head. "We can't help him, even if we wanted to."  
  
"Jack he's my brother."  
  
"And he's in our home" he reminds me. "A criminal is in the same roof under our daughter. Is that how you want to live your life? We've already had enough scares for a life time, can't we just stop with them already?"  
  
"What do you suggest?"  
  
"Tell him no. He's managed without you as it is. He doesn't need to ruin your life along with his Sam. You know that it's only a matter of time before these guys come after our family because we're affiliated with him."  
  
"Jack" I whisper out.  
  
"I don't like it anymore then you do but you can't help him."  
  
"What am I supposed to do? Send him back on the street in zero degree temperature?"  
  
Jack let's out a sigh, contemplating what to do.  
  
"We have a guest room" I remind him.  
  
"Absolutely not." Jack shakes his head with disgust. "He's not staying the night."  
  
"Well then you better tell him. I can't face him with bad news."  
  
"Fine" he huffs out, heading down the hall.  
  
I hear the mumbling of exchanged words and seconds later a gun going off. I hear heavy footsteps making their way towards the bedroom as I grab for my gun. I pull the safety back and see Matt entering the bedroom gun drawn.  
  
"Put it down!" I warn him.  
  
"You wouldn't let it go" Matt shakes his head, tears falling as his anger surfaces.  
  
"Matt you don't want to do this." I remind him.  
  
"You don't know what I want." He spits out, eyeing the crib. "Give me your daughter."  
  
"Matt no" my eyes widen as I move over to protect the bassinet.  
  
"You don't want to do that" he warns me, cocking the gun in my direction at my chest. "I'll shoot you."  
  
"You don't want Alexis" I warn him.  
  
"No but I can get a hefty price for her" he eyes the bassinet once more. "Step out of the way or I'll shoot you. Don't make me tell you again."  
  
I feel tears burning my eyes at the decision I have to make. Kill my brother or risk losing the life of my daughter. There's no question in my heart but in my mind I'm plagued with regrets and indecisions as I pull the trigger.  
  
A bullet shoots through Matt's chest as his blood seeps out. He pulls the trigger on me and gives me no choice but to shoot him again until there's no chance of his survival. He lies on the floor, his face pale as the blood drains out his body. I grab his gun and secure it to me before lifting Alexis from the bassinet.  
  
Her face is red and tears are falling down her face as she screams in fear. "Shhh" I press a kiss to her head, moving out of the bedroom and towards Jack. "Oh god" I whisper out, seeing him lying there, his face turning blue.  
  
"Sam" he whispers out, his eyes reflecting his own pain. I dial 911 and relay the emergency as I hold onto Jack's hand, never wanting to let go. "I love you" he tells me, his final breaths of air escaping his lungs as the paramedics make the journey up the stairs and through the doors.  
  
"Jack no" I shake my head, "you can't die on me" I tell him. "Fight it Jack" I feel tears pouring out my eyes and Alexis in my arms is crying too. "You have to see your girls grow up" I tell him, feeling my tears soak through his shirt as I cling to his body pooled with blood.  
  
"Ma'am" the paramedics push me away as they begin to work on Jack, trying to gain a pulse but with no luck.  
  
"Jack no" I shake my head, wanting to take back these few precious minutes and relive my life. "Don't die on me. I can't do this alone." I cry out, feeling my body shake with sobs as I realize this could very well be the end. 


	82. Chapter 82

"Jack no" I shake my head, wanting to take back these few precious minutes and relive my life. "Don't die on me. I can't do this alone." I cry out, feeling my body shake with sobs as I realize this could very well be the end.  
  
*******  
  
I watch as the paramedics take him into the ambulance, while attempting to revive him. "Jack don't leave me" I whisper out between tears.  
  
"We need you to come with us" the paramedic tells me.  
  
"I'm fine" I answer, realizing the blood that's soaked through my shirt isn't my own. "I wasn't shot. There's a man in my bedroom who's dead though."  
  
I see the police making their way inside my building.  
  
"Break in?" the paramedic questions. I shake my head no, not wanting to give my story but knowing the job entails it.  
  
The officer makes his way over, "please I need to go see my husband."  
  
"As soon as our questions are answered."  
  
"I'm an FBI Agent" I show him my badge, "so is my husband."  
  
"And the man lying in your bedroom on the floor?"  
  
"He's in violation of his parole" I answer. "He was carrying a concealed weapon and shot my husband."  
  
"In your apartment?" He eyes me curiously. "Why don't we start from the beginning."  
  
Thirty minutes later I manage to leave the apartment with Alexis in hand and catch a cab to the hospital. I dial Martin on the way.  
  
"Hello?" His voice sounds raspy and thick.  
  
"Oh god" I whisper out, feeling tears shake me before I can even speak the words.  
  
"Sam is that you?"  
  
"He's been shot Martin."  
  
"Are you at the hospital?"  
  
"Yeah" I answer, pulling up out front.  
  
"I'll meet you there." He answers and hangs up the phone. I turn my phone on vibrate, even though I should have it off, and make my way towards the entrance, trying to find out some information on Jack Malone.  
  
I find out he's in surgery which tells me at least he's still alive. An improvement from when I last saw him. I hold my baby girl close, praying that she'll have a father to grow up to.  
  
"Samantha?" I hear Martin's voice and glance up. Chloe's standing there with him, holding his hand. They both look stricken and torn.  
  
"It was Matt" I eye Chloe.  
  
"He came by?" She questions.  
  
"He needed money. I offered him a place to stay but Jack didn't think it was a good idea. I had Jack tell him to leave since I didn't want to offer the bad news and Matt shot him. Then he went after Lexi, he wanted to sell her on the black market to pay off his debt."  
  
"I'm so sorry" Chloe pulls me in for a hug, pressing a kiss to the top of Alexis' head.  
  
"Any word?" Martin questions. I shake my head no, feeling more tears fall from my eyes.  
  
"He's a fighter" Chloe tells me, moving her hand over mine, "he'll pull through this. Just like he always does."  
  
"And what if he doesn't?"  
  
"There are no what ifs" she clarifies. "He's got three precious daughters and the most amazing wife. He wouldn't give that up for the world."  
  
"He might not have a choice."  
  
"He does" she reassures me, pressing a kiss to my cheek. "It won't be easy, but he'll be okay."  
  
I feel my cell phone vibrating and feel tears brimming at the caller id number. "Can you.?" I hand Chloe my phone. She takes it to an area where cell phones are allowed to be used, and answers the call from Marie. I can only imagine how she must have known. Did Hannah have a nightmare about this or perhaps Chloe or Martin called?  
  
"Ms. Malone?" I hear the words and immediately feel strange at being called something other then Samantha Spade. My stomach knots at the use of his last name in such a way. Although he is my husband, it reminds me in a strange way of Marie, which I can't shake.  
  
"Samantha" I correct the doctor.  
  
"You're husband seems to be strong willed. We just got out of surgery and he appears to be stable. We removed the bullet but there was some internal bleeding."  
  
"Is he going to be okay?"  
  
"He's not through the woods just yet, but I believe he will be" the doctor tells me. "You need to wait here until we bring him into a private room. When we do we'll let you know."  
  
"Thank you doctor." I tell him, feeling tears slide down my cheeks. I feel Martin's hand on my shoulder as I glance into his eyes.  
  
I can't hold back my pain and I fall victim into his arms, with Alexis cradled between us.  
  
"Shhh" Martin reassures me, rubbing soft circles over my back. "Jack will be alright."  
  
I feel a tiny smile forming at the corners of my lips, even with all the tears I'm shedding.  
  
I notice Chloe making her way back over. "Stealing my man away?" She teases and instantly grows quiet, as she feels guilty about her words.  
  
"Jack's out of surgery" Martin tells Chloe. "Who was on the phone?"  
  
"Marie. She wanted to check up since Hannah claimed to see her father being shot by some mysterious man in her mind. Marie didn't believe her daughter but when there was no answer at your house she started to panic."  
  
I feel Chloe encompassing me in a hug as well. "We moved him into room 415" the doctor tells me. "You can stay with him if you'd like, but when he awakens he'll need his rest."  
  
"Thank you" I tell the doctor, feeling Martin and Chloe close by as I carry Alexis down the hall and past the corridor.  
  
I push past the door, glancing down at Jack with a million tubes and wires attached to him. I feel my voice catch in my throat as I move to sit beside his bed.  
  
"Jack" I whisper out, tears falling onto Alexis' head as Chloe brushes them away. She gives Alexis a kiss and then eyes me.  
  
"We'll be right outside."  
  
"No" I tell her, holding her hand and stopping her from leaving. "I need you here" I whisper out.  
  
For a moment I'm not sure if she heard me or if she thought I was talking to Jack. I feel her hand move to my shoulder to comfort me. "I'm right here" Chloe tells me.  
  
"Jack" I grip his hand, hoping to feel some movement from his body. I feel Alexis struggling in my arms to break free and I realize I haven't fed her in quite some time. She grows more anxious with every second.  
  
"You want me to take her?" Chloe offers.  
  
"She's hungry" I whisper out, unbuttoning my shirt slowly.  
  
"I'll wait outside" she tells me, as I cradle Alexis and allow her to breastfeed.  
  
I sit close to Jack, his hand still wrapped around mine while my other hand holds my baby girl. I'm quiet for a few minutes, not sure what to say or if to say anything at all. I feel strange sitting quietly next to my husband who at any moment could die before my very eyes. I want to tell him so much and yet no words can explain how much he means to me.  
  
"Jack you have so much to see and experience" I grip his hand in mine. "There's so much Lexi has yet to see and do. She still has to take her first steps and say her first words. She's barely a month old and I'm worried she won't have a father to grow up to. Please Jack, Lexi needs you. I need you" I tell him, closing my eyes and wishing that everything will be alright. 


	83. Chapter 83 & Epilogue

"Jack you have so much to see and experience" I grip his hand in mine. "There's so much Lexi has yet to see and do. She still has to take her first steps and say her first words. She's barely a month old and I'm worried she won't have a father to grow up to. Please Jack, Lexi needs you. I need you" I tell him, closing my eyes and wishing that everything will be alright.  
  
*****  
  
"You never call her Lexi" Jack answers. His eyes slowly open as I glance into his dark orbs.  
  
"Jack" my smile widens as I feel more tears shedding from my eyes.  
  
"Talk about a bad scenario" he shakes his head and winces in pain. Alexis finishes feeding and I close up my shirt and shift her around.  
  
"I'm so sorry" I move my lips to his, giving him a soft kiss. "I love you so much. We were worried about you."  
  
"We?" He grimaces and sees Martin and Chloe coming in the room. Jack nods his head hello as he groans out in pain.  
  
"I'll call the doctor in" Martin suggests, heading out the room to let them know Jack is awake.  
  
"You're ok?" Jack questions, his eyes smiling at me. "And Lexi's ok?"  
  
"Yeah she's fine" I reassure him. "We were all shaken up but now that you're okay."  
  
The doctor makes his way inside, ordering the nurse to give him an IV with some medication. "I'm going to have to ask everyone except his immediate family to leave. You need your rest" he eyes Jack.  
  
Jack squeezes my hand and shuts his eyes, falling fast asleep.  
  
Epilogue:  
  
Our jobs and our personal lives have yet to mesh in a way in which I understand. We still see each other more hours then I can count, but sometimes I want more. Jack took some personal time after the shooting and after coming back to work, chose not to work to the extreme hours of the morning. He's also managed a full recovery after the shooting although I still feel terrible and at fault for the ordeal. We've decided to find a small home outside of the immediate city to live, but close enough for the job and to see the girls. Our hope is that perhaps in a suburban setting, our lives will be simpler and less at risk. I laugh at the idea, especially given our job description, but hope Jack will be right.  
  
We keep in touch with Chloe, and every Friday afternoon she comes over to help with watching Alexis. Martin seems to be head over heels and has yet to ask Chloe to marry him, although he's bought the ring and showed it to just about everyone else. He told me just last week how he admires the family Jack and I have, and he wants that for himself. He's been hoping Chloe will say 'yes' but to afraid to ask.  
  
I still haven't come back to work just yet. Not that I don't want to, I do. It's just that Alexis has been prone to infection and illness since she was born two months premature. The doctors figure she'll grow out of it but it still makes for a long day and a lot of worry.  
  
Van Doren managed to find an open position in our New York Field Office in another crime division, when I do return, I'll be able to work without an OPR investigation every 30 seconds.  
  
Hannah and Kate have been very excited to watch Alexis grow. They've been an enormous help, coming over on weekends and trying to play with her as much as possible. Hannah still has some strange dreams from time to time, but the nightmares and fears have vanished. We cross our fingers and hope that we've had enough problems to last a lifetime and that no more shall ever come our way.  
  
Marie still keeps on good terms with our family. She's offered to watch Alexis whenever I need a break, but I haven't felt right handing my daughter over to Jack's ex-wife. It still seems strange in a way to keep in touch with her, but I know it must be done; especially for the sake of the girls.  
  
Although like any marriage we have our ups and downs. We've also started a family, which is something I always wanted but thought I'd never have. We have Chloe and Martin to depend on when we need an extra hand, and Danny's always offering to watch Alexis. Vivian seems to adore Lexi and the three of us will grab a coffee at the small café not too far from work, time to time.  
  
I couldn't imagine what my life would be like without Jack or Lexi in it. They both mean the world to me and I feel I've come such a long way since I first met him. I feel like I've grown and changed, but definitely for the better. Maybe that's what falling in love does to you.  
  
The End. 


End file.
